POLITICS PERCEPTION and THE REAL ISSUES

POLITICS PERCEPTION and THE REAL ISSUES

Musings

By

VIKRAM KARVE

As I watch with hapless amusement the LPG fiasco which is causing tremendous negative sentiment among most of the citizens, I am quite surprised as to why seasoned politicians are allowing bureaucratic bungling to proliferate and letting the situation worsen day by day.

Bureaucrats do not have to win elections. Their jobs and career progression are guaranteed. That is why bureaucrats do not have to bother about public perception.

Politicians have to be sensitive to public perception. They have to win elections every five years and cannot afford negative public sentiment.

Of course, there are two types of politicians in India:

1. Those who have to go to the people and get their votes to win elections and get elected to the Lok Sabha and State Legislative Assemblies.

2. Those who are nominated by their parties to the Rajya Sabha and State Legislative Councils. This second category of politicians don’t have to go to the people every five years to get elected and, like bureaucrats, they have an assured tenure, and if they remain in the good books of the party leadership then they can hope for a second or third tenure as well. Hence, like bureaucrats, they do not have to bother about public perception and they need not be sensitive to the problems of the common man.

Therefore, it is only from the first category of “elected” politicians that a common man can seek hope and redress of his grievances.

And I feel that a common man will certainly vote for the person who is sensitive to his problems.

You may say that most people vote as per “vote banks” based on caste, creed, religion, language, region etc, but sometimes an emotive issue can turn the tables and history bears testimony to this fact as there have been many occasions when even big leaders were defeated in the elections. 

An issue like price rice is certainly an emotive issue which affects every citizen and can cause immense negative sentiment which can turn the tide. The recent inept political handling of the LPG Domestic Cooking Gas issue, further exacerbated by the bureaucratic bungling (of removing subsidy, capping cylinders, blocking connections, confusion created by distributors and oil companies regarding procedures for KYC, rumours of artificial shortage and potential for black-marketing of cylinders, perpetual fear of price rise of unsubsidized cylinders, etc) is causing great harassment and anxiety to the consumers, especially housewives, and the common perception is that the government is acting in an insensitive and clueless manner, as far as this LPG issue is concerned. 

There is adage in “systems theory” – DO NOT DISTURB A SYSTEM WHICH IS RUNNING WELL.

The LPG Domestic Gas Supply System was running smoothly so it was best not to disturb it. Hence, it will be advisable for the powers-that-be to restore status quo ante.

Sometimes reversing a decision can pay dividends and in this LPG case, reverting back to the old tried-and-tested “subsidized” system will certainly undo the damage in perception and also prove that politicians are sensitive to the needs of the common man.

Many politicians and the media feels that corruption is the main issue for a common man. Yes, corruption may be an important issue but it is not the cardinal issue. As far as the common man is concerned the main issue is PRICE RISE since price rise affects each and every individual – man or woman, rich, poor or middle class.

Yes, corruption may have contributed to price rise but again the main issue is Price Rise which you experience every day as you buy things from the market for your daily use.

Of course, the bureaucrats and “nominated” politicians need not be sensitive about price rise since they don’t have to fight the next election, but I feel that those seeking election must give due consideration to this aspect. I will certainly vote for those who take tangible and visible steps to contain price rise.

Meanwhile, it may be interesting to see if there is any difference in the attitudes and actions of:

1. The Ministers from the Lok Sabha who are aspiring to fight the next election in 2014 and hence they have to be sensitive to the needs and concerns of the common man

vis-à-vis

2. The Ministers from the Rajya Sabha who can afford to be insensitive, bureaucratic and complacent since they do not have to fight elections and their tenures are assured irrespective of whether their party wins or loses in the next elections.

It is the same with the opposition parties too. Only those political leaders who have to face the electorate need to be sensitive about real ground-level issues like price rise which affect the common man (rather than engage in political one-upmanship which does not alleviate the distress of the aam aadmi).

In conclusion, I request all politicians to please take steps to contain inflation and tackle the issue of price rise. To start with please reverse the decision of capping LPG cylinders as the new system is not only causing distress to the common man but also seems to be practically difficult to implement and is likely to lead to more corruption, confusion and cause harassment to the aam aadmi.

I also hope that the opposition parties will constructively take up such practical day-to-day tangible issues which affect common citizens.

It is sad to see opposition parties wasting their energies by indulging in futile political one-upmanship on intangible matters.

It is demoralizing to see politicians create disharmony in inter-personal relationships by engaging in political duels in the media which produce no results on the ground, as far as the aam aadmi is concerned.

These negative vibes created by politics of conflict are avoidable and it will be good to see politicians synergize together and tackle the problems facing the country and alleviate the distress of the common man. I hope they focus on taking up the issues of Inflation and Price Rise. To start with, let us see all politicians get together and resolve the LPG fiasco.

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 2012

Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work. 

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Did you like reading this blog post? 
I am sure you will like all the 27 stories in my recently published book of short stories COCKTAIL
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Foodie Book:  Appetite for a Stroll
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About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer and blogger. Educated at IIT Delhi, IIT (BHU) Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a large number of fiction short stories, creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional research papers in journals and edited in-house journals and magazines for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing and blogging. Vikram Karve lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramwamankarve@gmail.com

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

  

PUNE HOME BUYING TIP - AVOID A PROPERTY WITH PIPED LPG GAS

PUNE REAL ESTATE TIPS

AVOID PIPED LPG GAS HOMES 

ARE YOU THINKING OF BUYING A HOUSE IN PUNE

AVOID A PROJECT WITH PIPED GAS

Musings of a Clueless Novice Self-Styled Property Guru Part 17

By

VIKRAM KARVE

In recent times, many builders in Pune offer Piped LPG Cooking Gas Facility in their residential projects.

In the Piped Gas System, or Reticulated LPG System as it is called, domestic cooking gas cylinders are supplied in bulk to the “Gas Bank” of the residential housing colony and consequently to the customer’s kitchen through a pipeline network connected to the cylinder bank in the residential society premises.

This is a much more efficient, economical, safe, reliable, logistically convenient, cost-effective method of supplying cooking gas rather than each apartment having individual gas cylinders, and, most importantly, it saves precious LPG.

Obviously, buying a house in such a residential complex having piped gas costs more since the builder has to set up the infrastructure (gas banks, gas pipelines, safety valves, meters etc) and he is going to pass on the cost to the buyer. In addition, there are annual maintenance costs as well which you will have to pay the society.

I too bought a home in one such project, and I must say that, as compared to having individual cylinders in each house, I found that piped gas is extremely hassle-free and convenient and the system was running efficiently.

So, though one had to pay more for a house in a society with piped gas, at that point of time, it seemed worth it, at least in the long run. 

Hence, most consumers surrendered their earlier LPG connections and opted for the piped gas facility.

Now, due a sudden absurd change in policy by the government and oil companies, these hapless consumers have realized that they made a big mistake by switching over to piped gas.

Why?

Here are some questions and answers:

Q: If there are 300 households in a residential society using LPG Piped Gas, what are the number of Gas Connections?

A: 300

Q: With a cap of 6 subsidized cylinders per connection per year how many subsidized cylinders would the society be entitled per year?

A: 300 X 6 = 1800

You may get bewildered and dumbfounded when I tell you that, as per the government’s bizarre logic, both your answers are wrong.

Here are the “right” answers:

1. The entire housing society comprising 300 households will be treated as One Connection (though basic commonsense says that each household must be treated as one connection and 300 households rightly add up to 300 connections)

2. This means that only 6 subsidized LPG cylinders will be given to 300 consumers (instead of 1800) in one year.

Isn’t this a preposterous policy which defies logic?

Owing to this ridiculous policy, the monthly piped gas bill is going to triple (increase by 300%) since a you cannot avail of subsidized cylinders (yes, your bill will be almost three times your present bill since an unsubsidized cylinder now costs more that Rs. 900 as compared to the earlier cost of Rs. 400).

And now that LPG has been de-controlled, Oil Companies will keep raising the price of LPG frequently and your piped gas bill will soon sky-rocket and become so expensive that it will become unaffordable. 

Thus, sooner of later, you will be forced to discontinue your piped gas and revert back to your earlier individual LPG cylinder system, because if you do that, then you will be entitled to six subsidized cylinders every year. As customers start discontinuing piped gas due to exorbitantly high costs, supplying piped gas will become financially non-viable and this will lead to piped gas companies shutting down.

Instead of encouraging the use of Piped Gas which is safer, economical, logistically efficient and saves precious LPG, it is incomprehensible and baffling why the government is taking the retrograde step of forcing consumers to go back to individual cylinders.

Leave aside the efficiency, safety and convenience aspects of piped gas but just look at the wastage of time, money, effort and fuel involved in servicing individual LPG cylinders as compared to piped gas.

Instead of the gas truck coming just once a week to replenish the gas bank, the gas truck will now have to come almost every day to supply individual refill cylinders to each of the 300 households.

And, going by news reports, in the city of Pune alone, this wastage is going to replicated in over 350 residential societies which have piped gas systems.

(With each residential society having 200 – 300 households on the average, just imagine the colossal waste of diesel fuel, increase in pollution and traffic due to increased vehicular movement of gas trucks, avoidable increase in consumption of scarce LPG, compromise in safety, inconvenience to the customer and unnecessary burden of logistic effort to the distributor)

What a colossal waste due to a ludicrous decision by some incompetent “babu” sitting faraway in Delhi.

Bureaucracies tend to be stubborn and are averse to changing their decisions, however specious, absurd and illogical those decisions may be.

So you can forget about better sense prevailing on the government and oil companies.

In the circumstances, what can you do?

Simple.

Just avoid buying a house in a project fitted with a piped gas system.

Why pay extra for something you are never going to use?

Dear Reader: Do you agree? Please comment - I look forward to your views and feedback.

PARENTING - BRINGING UP TEENAGERS

PARENTING

BRINGING UP TEENAGERS

How to Spoil Your Children by Laissez-Faire Parenting Style

The Time, Inclination, Money, Opportunity Paradigm

By

VIKRAM KARVE 

At the outset, here is a quote from Norman F Dixon (emphasis mine). 

Please read each line carefully.

The values indicated by status-insecure parents are such that their children learn to put personal success and the acquisition of power above all else. 

They are taught to judge people for their usefulness rather than their likeableness. 

Their friends, and even future marriage partners, are selected and used in the service of personal advancement; love and affection take second place to knowing the right people. 

They are taught to eschew weakness and passivity, to respect authority, and to despise those who have not made the socio-economic grade. 

Success is equated with social esteem and material advantage, rather than with more spiritual values.

~ Norman F. Dixon

It seems to be the in thing today to have snobbish supercilious spoilt children.

I was a strict old-fashioned father, but looking around, I have realized that in today’s world, where materialistic desires and ostentation overshadow traditional values, my ascetic style of parenting is hopelessly outmoded and distinctly passé. This made me quite an unpopular parent as compared to my more liberal counterparts. And whether my orthodox parenting style had a desirable effect on my children - well it there for all to see, as my children are grown up responsible adults now. 

It is too late for me to change now, so let me pontificate a bit on the subject of Teenage Parenting what I did not do.

 

Apart from the conventional vices like drinking, smoking, drugs, gambling etc, all types of new and novel temptations and addictions like Internet, Gaming, TV, sex, compulsive spending and shopping, indulging in wild reckless behaviour, breaking the law and criminal thrills are on the rise and indeed becoming status symbols in some sections of society. 

Now-a-days there is plenty of choice available for those who want to “live it up”.

For children in today’s consumerist society there is no place for old-fashioned concepts like “thrift and frugality” and the dictum: “be happy where you are and content with what you have” seem irrelevant today where “instant gratification” seems to be the new mantra.

Conspicuous consumption, ostentation, flamboyance and expensive lifestyles are more important. Pamper your kids, pander to all their whims and fancies and they will love you; and, of course, in the long run they will ruin their own lives and cause you distress. 

 

If you want to spoil your children remember there are four cardinal factors or resources that help develop and nurture bad habits, addictions and anti-social behaviour: TIME, INCLINATION, OPPORTUNITY, MONEY. 

 

TIME

One must have time to indulge in whatever one’s pursuits, good or bad. So, if you want to spoil your children, don’t burden them with too many “mundane” things like studies, sports, hobbies etc. so that they have plenty of leisure time to live it up, develop new vices and pursue their temptations to their heart’s content. 

 

INCLINATION

This depends on your sense of values, home and family atmosphere, social environment, religious and cultural taboos, peer pressure, influence of school and friends. Are you inculcating the right values in your kids by your own actions?

 

I’ll give you a real life example.  

My friend’s son, age 15, lost his expensive mobile cell-phone forgetting it in a taxi due to his own carelessness and negligence. 

Instead of admonishing him, my friend bought him the latest, even more expensive and fancy cell-phone. 

Obviously the boy had no remorse, guilt or regret at losing the expensive gadget, and instead of feeling contrite and responsible, the teenager displayed a “couldn’t care” attitude. 

Certainly this teenager will never appreciate the value of money.

Can one even expect such actions of parents to inculcate the “correct” values of thrift, frugality and responsibility in their children?

If you drink, smoke, and party in front of your children, won’t they be inclined to do the same? Can you lecture your son not to smoke while holding a cigarette between your lips or tell him not to drink alcohol while holding a glass of whisky in your hands?

How about your friends, your kids’ friends, their behaviour, and the general atmosphere and culture around? Peer Pressure too plays an important role in developing a teenager’s inclination. 

What are your own values? 

If you are going to “live it up”, flaunt your lifestyle, and be corrupt and dishonest, your kids will be inclined to do so too. 

 

OPPORTUNITY

You have the Time, you have the Inclination, but do you have the Opportunity to do what you want to do?

Suppose you want to drink alcohol, but there is prohibition in force? 

Or there exist religious, social, cultural taboos which do not give you the opportunity to drink? 

These restraining forces will inhibit you from drinking alcohol.

Opportunity to indulge in an activity is governed by external circumstances, rules and regulations, which either inhibits you, or makes it conducive for you, to do what you want to do.

Enforcement of Restrictions like No-Smoking Zones, Prohibition, No Entry into Bars and Pubs for Kids inhibits opportunity for children to start drinking at an early age. 

Parental Control is an important factor in restricting opportunity for children to indulge in undesirable activities or develop unwanted habits.

Or do you want to give your kids a laissez faire opportunity to do what they want…? 

Suit yourself, but don't blame your children later.

MONEY 

If you want to spoil your children make sure you give them plenty of Money to splurge as they want and to spend as they please without any accountability.

“Vices” and profligate lifestyles are expensive. 

Give them the latest gadgets and gizmos, cars and bikes, pander to all their whims and fancies, and never ask them to account for their extravagant spending. Your children will “love” you for all this. Go ahead and make your children “happy” and irresponsible. 

You’ve open-mindedly given your kids the time, the inclination, and the opportunity, but finally it is the money that matters. Yes, it is money that helps your children sustain their vices and habits. 

Go ahead, give it a try, spoil your brats, and tell me if it works

But if you don’t want to spoil your teenager kids, you know what to do, don’t you?

Just remember the four key factors when bringing up your teenage children:

1. Monitor their Time 

2. Give them the proper Inclination in life 

3. Restrict their Opportunity for undesirable activities 

and, last but not the least, 

4. Keep a tight leash on their Money

Does this teenager parenting paradigm work for you…? Do comment and tell us your views. 

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 2012
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Did you like this article?
This is a story from my recently published anthology of Short Fiction COCKTAIL - Stories About Relationships. 

I am sure you will like all the 27 stories in COCKTAIL

To order your COCKTAIL please click any of the links below:
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http://www.apkpublishers.com/books/short-stories/cocktail-by-vikram-karve.html
COCKTAIL ebook
If you prefer reading ebooks on Kindle or your ebook reader, please order Cocktail E-book by clicking the links below:
AMAZON
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925

About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer. Educated at IIT Delhi, ITBHU Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories, creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional research papers in journals and edited in-house journals for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for almost 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing. Vikram lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramkarve@sify.com     

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

AAM AADMI and KHAAS AADMI - आम आदमी और ख़ास आदमी -

AAM AADMI and KHAAS AADMI

आम आदमी और ख़ास आदमी 

The TAXPAYER and The FREELOADER

Musings

By

VIKRAM KARVE

There are two types of citizens – the aam aadmi and the khaas aadmi.

How do you find out who is an aam aadmi and who is a khaas aadmi?

It is simple. Take the recent example of petrol price rise. If you are affected by the petrol price rise then you are an aam aadmi. If you are not affected by the petrol price rise, or for that matter a diesel price rise or any price rise, then you are a khaas aadmi.

The aam aadmi pays taxes. The khaas aadmi freeloads on those taxes.

The khaas aadmi enjoys the privilege of freeloading on the aam aadmi.

Remember, it is not the middle class alone who pays taxes. Do not think that those who pay income tax are the only ones who are being taxed. Even the poorest of the poor pays taxes because you have to pay all types of taxes (central, state, excise, duties, sales tax , service tax, cess, VAT, octroi) – yes, you are taxed for anything you buy or use, even items of daily living.

A portion these taxes paid by the TAXPAYERS are used to finance the opulent lifestyles of the FREELOADERS.

Since the fuel price rise is the topic of the day, let me give some examples of freeloaders in this context.

I remember a few years ago when petrol and diesel prices were raised, a friend of mine was unperturbed. He said that he couldn’t be bothered about fuel prices since he had an official car at this disposal. Of course, official cars are meant for official duties only, but then you know what goes on and how these vehicles are misused for personal and family use. In fact, I know of another guy who sold off his personal car the moment he was promoted and he proudly stated that since he would be entitled to an official car till the end of his service career he won’t need a personal car till he retired.

A vehicle is only one thing – you will be amazed at the number of things provided free or at subsidized rates to these freeloaders. Some smart freeloaders manage to continue enjoying largesse even after retirement. Some never retire.

Before Independence, the British were the rulers and we were the ruled. The British may have gone away long back but the “Raj” continues to flourish – only now there are new sets of rulers and, despite the so-called modernisation and liberalisation, the “feudal” structure continues to burgeon. In this set-up, the aam aadmi is taxed in order to finance the khaas aadmi. In fact the numbers and types of freeloaders have proliferated at an amazing rate and their “on-the-house” lifestyles have become even more lavish and profligate.

And don’t think that freeloaders exist only in the political class and bureaucracy. If you look at the corporate sector you will be amazed to see the fantastic compensation packages and mind-boggling “on-the-house” perks and facilities given to some of the top management.

You will be even more surprised when you see this happening even in those companies which are making losses and, maybe, even are on the verge of bankruptcy.  Some types of industries “freeload” too as they have been given huge tax exemptions and concessions and the common taxpayer has to bear the burden.

Freeloading has become a way of life, a part of our culture – each and everyone wants to freeload and, given an opportunity, everyone tries to freeload. There are many who think that once they have attained a certain position it becomes their birthright to freeload. It is mind-blowing how the sheer numbers and types of freeloaders are increasing and snowballing at an alarming rate. India is a poor country and can ill-afford such profligacy and extravagance by these freeloaders.

I once told a freeloader colleague: “If you consume something, someone has to pay for it. There is no free lunch. So if you have a meal – either you pay for it or someone else has to pay for it.”

In the same way, what the khaas aadmi or freeloaders “consume”, the hapless aam aadmi or taxpayer has to pay for. Has anyone computed the CTC (“cost to company”) being incurred on these freeloaders?

I think one of the ways to resuscitate the economy is to eliminate freeloading and inculcate a sense of thrift and frugality and enforce financial prudence in the powers-that-be. This has got to start from the top since it is best to lead by example. Yes, good leadership implements a top-down approach for change management.

Can we hope to see the crème-de-la-crème freeloaders eschew freeloading and start walking or cycling down to office or travelling by public transport. Can we hope to see the powers-that-be reduce their perks and privileges and learn to more parsimonious and financially honest. Will they pay for what they consume? Will they adopt a High Thinking and Simple Living lifestyle? Will they follow the example set by some of our earlier leaders, freedom fighters who gave up everything for the nation. Will they search their conscience and keep national interest above self interest?

But tell me, why should the freeloaders bother? Things like price rise and corruption will not be important issues during elections as long as we cast our votes based on factors like caste, religion, community and as “vote banks”. So in the end it is we, the aam aadmi, who have only ourselves to blame for the proliferation and extravagance of the khaas aadmi, the thriving freeloaders who will continue to flourish at the aam aadmi’s expense and all we can do is endure in silence and watch on helplessly. 

Whether you are a आम आदमी (aam aadmi) or a ख़ास आदमी (khaas aadmi) - please comment and let us know your views.

WHY PARENTS WANT SONS, NOT DAUGHTERS - GIRL CHILD - PARKI THAPAN - PARAYA DHAN - Dikri To Parki Thapan Kahevay

WHY PARENTS WANT SONS, NOT DAUGHTERS 

A DAUGHTER IS SOMEONE ELSE'S PROPERTY

Dikri To Parki Thapan Kahevay

Long back, during my Jamnagar days, in 1978 I think, I saw a Gujarati Movie called PARKI THAPAN. This film had a very melodious and meaningful song Dikri To Parki Thapan Kahevay sung by Lata Mangeshkar

(Why don’t you click on the video link below and hear this lovely song which I have downloaded for you on YouTube while you continue to read this blog).

The essence of this song, and the movie, was that a daughter is someone else’s property, a “Paraya Dhan”. I find that our mindset has not changed even today after so many years. Yes, today, parents do educate their daughters, even encourage them to take up careers, but once their daughters get married they treat them like a Parki Thapan.

Let me give you an example.

There is an 85 year old widowed lady who lives in the neighbourhood. Her son is settled in the USA. Her daughter lives nearby, in the same city. Whenever she is unwell she expects her son to come over and look after her (Why she does not permanently emigrate to the USA to live with her son is a mystery). She prefers to live alone rather than live with her daughter. She has engaged nurses as companions. Yes, the daughter and son-in-law do visit her and try to look after her needs, but the old lady refuses to go and live with her daughter. When asked, the old lady answers, “How can I go and stay in my daughter’s house?” (Whereas it is considered perfectly natural to live with your son)

When we lived in Mumbai, my mother used to visit my sister who lived nearby, but my mother never stayed with her even for a night. Whenever she wanted to visit my sister, I used to drop her in the morning and pick her up on my way back from work or my sister used to come over to our place to visit her. Even now, when I once asked her as to why she doesn’t go over to my sister’s place and spend a few days with her for a change, my mother refuses and retorts that how can she live for so long in her daughters house.

That’s why, perhaps, everyone wants a son. Though in today’s world there is no guarantee that a son may look after his parents, but at least the parents have an expectation from the son whereas they have none from the daughter. In our culture it is the duty of the son to look after the parents and the daughter has no such responsibility towards her own parents, though a daughter has a share in her parents property. In fact, I feel women are quite lucky as they have a share in both their husband’s and parents’ wealth and property but no commensurate responsibility.

Maybe I am generalising, but I have observed in the society around me that most senior citizens are reluctant to go an live in their daughters’ homes. The only situations in which I have seen daughters caring for their parents is when there is no son, maybe due to fait accompli.

I wonder when this mindset will change. Till then, it is Dikri To Parki Thapan Kahevay