Showing posts with label election. Show all posts
Showing posts with label election. Show all posts

Monday, February 20, 2017

Humor in Democracy – Election Day in Girinagar

Humor in Democracy

Elections Days are here again.

And – I remembered this story...

ELECTION DAY IN GIRINAGAR
A Spoof
By
VIKRAM KARVE 

ELECTION DAY IN GIRINAGAR – A Spoof By Vikram Karve 

This happened many years ago when I lived at a place called Girinagar near Pune.

“I want the day off,” Sushila, our maid, asked my wife.

“Why?” my wife asked.

“We have to vote. Today is election day,” she said.

“That’s good,” I said.

I was quite surprised at Sushila’s eagerness to vote  because Sushila was totally illiterate.

Yes  she lived just a few kilometres away from a modern city like Pune (often called the “Oxford of the East”) – yet  like so many others  she could not read or write.

But her keenness to vote indicated what a vibrant democracy we were.

“Who are you going to vote for?” I asked, in jest.

She told me a symbol – “I am going to vote for XXX symbol,” Sushila said.

“But why?” I asked.

WE have decided,” she said.

WE” meant her husband.

Apparently  her husband had gone for a “meeting” – and it was decided that the entire neighbourhood will vote for XXX symbol.

“So you vote for XXX symbol every time,” I asked her.

“No  last time we all voted for YYY symbol,” she said.

“Why?” I asked.

“Because “WE” had decided,” she said.

Of course  she did not know anything about the ideology of the  political parties to which the symbols XXX and YYY belonged.

It was none of her business.

Before every election  it was the men who had a meeting  and it was decided who to vote for in the election  and  the women dutifully complied.

(Of course  the men had a “leader” who guided them in these matters)

Like Sushila’s husband  most of the men in that area were drunkards who lived off their wives’ earnings.

But all that did not matter.

In the patriarchal society that prevailed, the women dutifully obeyed their men, even if the men were good-for-nothing drunkards.

So  in Sushila’s family of 7 voters (she, her husband, her two sons and daughters-in-law, and unmarried daughter)  all would be voting for the symbol XXX which had been “decided”.

Added up  it was quite a large number of votes in the locality  and since they all of them voted en-bloc for a certain “symbol”  it was quite a sizeable “votebank”.

A few more such solid vote-banks could ensure victory in the election  as the victory of the XXX candidate proved.

Around 3 PM in the afternoon we saw Sushila standing near our gate.

“Have you voted?” I asked her.

“No,” she said.

“Voting time will be over soon. Why didn’t you vote in the morning?” I said.

“They haven’t come to take us,” she said.

They haven’t come to take you? What do you mean?” I asked.

A friend of mine who had come over and was hearing the conversation said to me: “Don’t you know? Someone has to come and take them to the polling booth in a vehicle. And then – they have to be given some inducement to vote  here the incentive is mostly a bottle of liquor for the men – these guys and their families will vote only after the men are given a bottle of liquor.

After some time  I saw a van arrive near our gate. 

The van had come to take all them for voting. 

And so – they all went to cast their votes in the election.


EPILOGUE

In the evening we saw Sushila’s husband and her sons lurching in a drunken manner on the road.

We observed that most of the men were drunk that evening  after consuming the liquor being distributed freely on election day  as an incentive for them to vote.

It was obvious that liquor was flowing freely on election day (though strictly speaking  it was a “dry day”)

At night  when Sushila came to work  we saw tears in her eyes.

She said that her husband and her sons were drunk – after drinking all the free liquor distributed on election day.

Sushila’s husband had thrashed her  he bashed her up – as he always did when he was drunk.

And now – one of her drunk sons had beaten up his young wife too.

“See what you did...?” my wife said to Sushila, “you voted for the person who gave liquor to your husband and sons – and what did you get in return – your husband got drunk and he beat you up – and – your drunk son beat up his wife – in fact  most of you women must have voted for those who are causing you more harm than good.”

What an irony...!!!

Why did Sushila vote for someone who caused her more harm than good...?

Yes  why do people vote for someone who causes them more harm than good...?

That is the moot question of democracy.

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:
1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.
Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)
     
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
 

Sunday, October 19, 2014

POLITICS IN UNIFORM

POLITICS IN UNIFORM

Today is counting day for the Maharashtra and Haryana Assembly Elections.

Politics is in the air.

So, from my Humor in Uniform Archives, let me pull out some “political” humor in uniform for you to read and have a laugh (I had written this piece around 7 months ago during the 2014 Lok Sabha Elections):

WARDROOM POLITICS
Unforgettable Vignettes of my Glorious Navy Days
A Spoof
By
VIKRAM KARVE


WARDROOM ETIQUETTE – TABOO TOPICS

When I joined the Navy, I was told that certain things were not to be discussed in the wardroom (officers’ mess).

Firstly, officers should not “talk shop” in the wardroom.

Secondly, three topics were considered taboo in a Navy Wardroom:

1. Religion
2. Politics
3. Sex

I am sure the same is true for Army and Air Force Officers’ Messes as well.

But this was all in theory.

In actual fact, I found that things were vastly different.

On my ship, and in other ships and shore establishments too, officers invariably “talked shop” in the wardroom – even during PLDs and Parties.

Of the three taboo topics, the first – Religion – was never discussed (at least in my ships wardroom).

On my ship, with so many young strapping testosterone charged bachelors around, the third topic was always a hot topic of discussion.

Our ship was based in Mumbai (then called Bombay) and those were laissez faire halcyon days in the Navy – guests were freely allowed on ships, in the evenings and on holidays, and many “smart” libidinous bachelors brought girl friends (or “fleet auxiliaries”) on board, for an amorous drink in the wardroom, or a quickie in their cabins, and these “peccadilloes” were hotly discussed with great excitement by the envious sex-starved puritans secretly yearning for female company.


POLITICS IN UNIFORM

Towards the end of 1979, general elections were announced to be held in the first week of January 1980, and suddenly everyone started discussing politics.

I was surprised to see the political awareness and keen interest in the elections.

Of course, this may have been due to the political instability due to the disastrous performance of two successive shaky coalition governments since 1977 which kept splitting till they collapsed and elections were announced after 2 years.

Or maybe, this was because we had many “politically connected” officers on board.

The father of one of the young officers was a veteran politician and was contesting this election too.

The brother of another officer was a politician too – and he was also contesting elections, albeit from a different party.

Many other officers evinced keen interest in current affairs, held divergent political views, which led to lively discussions, and, yes, politics was discussed in the wardroom.

However, there was one officer who showed absolutely no interest in the proceedings.

He came to the wardroom to drink – in fact, it seemed he had joined the navy to drink, and, like some people “live to eat” this officer “lived to drink”.

While everyone was engrossed in animated “political discussions”, he would sit disinterestedly in the corner downing peg after peg of Scotch whisky.

Voting day was in the first week of the coming January, and as the elections approached, some of us got our postal ballots and some did not.

Outside, political temperatures were getting heated up, and inside the wardroom too, there took place rousing discussions, stimulated by the imbibing of enormous amounts of alcohol.

Of course, our “apolitical” friend kept aloof and remained indifferent to the goings on, despite imbibing even greater amounts of alcohol than the others.

At last, voting took place.

The next day, counting of votes began.

That evening, carrying our whisky-topped hip-flasks in our pockets, we trooped down to the Indian Express Building at Nariman Point to watch the election results unfold.

Late at night, it became clear that Indira Gandhi was heading for a massive victory.

(Her party, Congress (I), would win 353 of the 542 seats).

Most of us were happy – now there would be a stable government for 5 years.

The two “politically connected” officers were happy too – their relatives, father and brother, had won too.

A celebration was called for, so the wardroom bar was opened the moment we returned back onboard at around midnight.

The “whiff” of the wardroom bar being opened mysteriously reached the “apolitical” officer sleeping in his cabin, and he joined us in a jiffy, topping up his glass to celebrate.

“There was so much political excitement going on – and you were totally disinterested,” someone said to the “apolitical” officer.

“Actually I was worried?” he said.

“Worried?” we asked, puzzled.

The “apolitical” officer took a gulp of whisky and said: “I was worried about my booze. The previous guy was a prohibitionist – he even wanted to stop booze in the services and give dry fruits in lieu of liquor. I am happy he has lost – at least the new guys who have won will let booze flow freely. Come on. Cheers. Drink up. The next round of drinks is on me.”


VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:
1. This story is a spoof, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.
Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)
     
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
 

Monday, October 13, 2014

Humor in Democracy - ELECTION DAY IN GIRINAGAR

HUMOUR IN DEMOCRACY

Maharashtra Elections are just two days away, on 15 October 2014.

It may be apt time for me to delve into my blog, and pull out a post I had written last year on VOTEBANK POLITICS.

Here is an extract from that article:

ELECTION DAY IN GIRINAGAR
An Apocryphal Story
By
VIKRAM KARVE

ELECTION DAY IN GIRINAGAR – An Apocryphal Story By Vikram Karve

This happened a few years ago when I lived at a place called Girinagar near Pune.

“I want the day off,” Sushila, our maid, asked my wife.

“Why?” my wife asked.

“We have to vote. Today is election day,” she said.

“That’s good,” I said.

I was quite surprised at Sushila’s eagerness to vote because Sushila was totally illiterate.

Yes, she lived just a few kilometres away from a modern city like Pune (often called the “Oxford of the East”) – yet, like so many others, she could not read or write.

But her keenness to vote indicated what a vibrant democracy we were.

“Who are you going to vote for?” I asked, in jest.

She told me a symbol – “I am going to vote for XXX symbol,” Sushila said.

“But why?” I asked.

WE have decided,” she said.

WE” meant her husband.

Apparently, her husband had gone for a “meeting” and it was decided that the entire neighbourhood will vote for XXX symbol.

“So you vote for XXX symbol every time,” I asked her.

“No, last time we all voted for YYY symbol,” she said.

“Why?” I asked.

“Because “WE” had decided,” she said.

Of course, she did not know anything about the ideology of the  political parties to which the symbols XXX and YYY belonged.

It was none of her business.

Before every election, it was the men who had a meeting and decided who to vote for and the women dutifully complied.

(Of course, the men had a “leader” who guided them in these matters)

Like Sushila’s husband, most of the men in that area were drunkards who lived off their wives’ earnings.

But all that did not matter.

In the patriarchal society that prevailed, the women dutifully obeyed their men, even if the men were good-for-nothing drunkards.

So, in Sushila’s family of 7 voters (she, her husband, her two sons and daughters-in-law, and unmarried daughter), all would be voting for the symbol XXX which had been “decided”.

Added up, it was quite a large number of votes in the locality, and since they all of them voted en-bloc for a certain “symbol” it was quite a sizeable “votebank”.

A few more such solid votebanks could ensure victory in the election, as the victory of the XXX candidate proved.

Around 3 in the afternoon we saw Sushila standing near our gate.

“Have you voted?” I asked her.

“No,” she said.

“Voting time will be over soon. Why didn’t you vote in the morning?” I said.

“They haven’t come to take us,” she said.

They haven’t come to take you? What do you mean?” I asked.

A friend of mine who had come over and was hearing the conversation said to me, “Don’t you know? Someone has to come and take them to the polling booth in a vehicle – and then they have to be given some inducement to vote  here the incentive is mostly a bottle of liquor for the men – these guys and their families will vote only after the men are given a bottle of liquor.

After some time, I saw a van arrive to take all them for voting.

In the evening we saw Sushila’s husband and her sons lurching in a drunken manner on the road – in fact, most of the men were drunk that evening after consuming the liquor being distributed freely on election day as an incentive for them to vote.

It was obvious that liquor was flowing freely on election day (though strictly speaking it was a “dry day”)

At night, when Sushila came to work, we saw tears in her eyes.

She said that her husband and her sons were drunk after drinking all the free liquor distributed on election day.

Sushila’s husband had thrashed her, as he always did when he was drunk.

And one of her drunk sons had beaten up his young wife too.

“See what you did?” my wife said to Sushila, “you voted for the person who gave liquor to your husband and sons – in fact, most of you women must have voted for those who are causing you more harm than good.”

What an irony!

Why did Sushila vote for someone who caused her more harm than good?

Yes, why do people vote for someone who causes them more harm than good?

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:
All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.
Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)
     
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
 

WOMEN’S VOTEBANK – A Distant Dream?  first