Twitter Warriors

Dear Reader:

Suppose a stranger says to you:

“My wife loves you…”

What will you do…?

Well – I don’t know what I will do – since no one has said that to me – as yet.

Now – Dear Reader – tell me:

What will you do – if a stranger says to you:

“My wife hates you….”

It happened to me a few days ago.

Let me tell you about it.

TWITTER WARRIORS

Fiction Short Story

By

VIKRAM KARVE

PART 1

I was sitting in happy solitude on a comfortable sofa in a cosy corner of the spacious bar of my elite club enjoying a whisky-soda and tweeting on my smartphone.

It was 7 PM – the bar had just opened – and I was the only person in the bar (besides the barman).

A young gentleman walked in.

He ordered a drink at the bar.

While his drink was being prepared – he looked in my direction.

He seemed to be looking at me intently – as if he knew me.

But – I did not recognise him.

The gentleman picked up his drink – and he walked towards me.

The young gentleman said to me: “Good Evening, Sir…”

“Good Evening…” I said, “please sit down…”

The young gentleman said “Thank You, Sir” – and he sat down opposite me.

Then – he looked at me and said: “Sir – by any chance – are you…?” (He mentioned my name)

“Yes…” I said, “that is my name…”

The young gentleman introduced himself.

I didn’t recall ever meeting him.

In fact – I had never heard of him before.

So – I said to him: “I am sorry – but – I really don’t recognise you. Have we met before…?”

“No, Sir – we haven’t met before – but – my wife knows you…” he said.

“Your wife knows me…?” I said, curious.

“Yes, Sir. In fact – my wife hates you….” the young man said.

I was taken aback.

I recovered from the surprise and I said to the man: “Your wife “hates” me…? How can you say that…? I don’t think I know your wife – or you…”

“Of course, you know my wife…” the man said, “her twitter handle is @XXX…”

I recognised the twitter handle he mentioned at once – @XXX – it was that nasty “anonymous” troll who made rude, provocative and acrimonious comments on my tweets.

From the tone of the tweets – I had guessed that @XXX was probably an obnoxious woman – but then – it could have been a depraved man hiding behind that anonymous handle @XXX – which seemed “gender neutral” – in fact – it was a rather inanimate sounding handle.

(Dear Reader: For obvious reasons – I don’t want to reveal her actual Twitter Handle – so – I am calling the Twitter handle @XXX…)

I looked at the man – and I said to him: “Oh…! So – @XXX is your wife…! I thought @XXX is a fake handle who is trolling me…”

“Trolling…?”

“Yes – this @XXX – who you say is your wife – I am having a “Twitter Battle” with her right now – she made some nasty comments on my tweet – so – I was rebutting…” I said.

“Sir – her twitter “handle” may be “anonymous” – a pseudonym – but she is very much real…” he said.

“Yes – you told me – @XXX is your wife…” I said.

“Sir – I recognised you at once – from your photo on your Twitter Profile. You reveal everything on your profile – your picture – your bio – everything is genuine – but – she has an anonymous profile – a misleading bio…” he said.

“Oh, Yes. And – for her Display Picture (DP) – she had a picture of a crab – then changed it to a scorpion – and now – it is a deadly snake – a menacing cobra with its hood open – she likes to have very vicious and aggressive DPs indeed…” I said.

I heard the sound of a Twitter notification.

I picked my smartphone and looked at the screen.

It was a tweet from @XXX.

As usual – the tweet from @XXX was a spiteful tweet - accusing me of “running away from the “battle” like a coward…”

I looked at the man and I said to him: “I was talking to you – so – I didn’t tweet for a while – and – your wife - @XXX – she has made a rather disparaging tweet against me…”

“Yes, Sir – I see it here…” the man said looking at his smartphone.

“You see her tweet…?” I said, surprised.

“Sir – I follow both of you on Twitter…” he said.

“Oh – so you are on Twitter too…!” I said.

“Yes, Sir – I am on Twitter – but I am mostly “passive” – I just read tweets. And Sir – please don’t ask me my “Twitter Handle” – I want to remain totally anonymous – for obvious reasons…” he said.

“Oh, Yes. In your case – I can understand. But your wife – there are no restrictions on her – so – why does she want to remain anonymous on Twitter – what is she afraid of…?” I said.

Suddenly – a thought came to my mind – so – I said to the man: “Don’t tell me that she is also an officer in the…”

“No, No, Sir…” the man said, “she is a civilian. She works here – in Mumbai – and I get posted all over the place – we have a long-distance marriage…”

“Oh – No Wonder – I remember I had posted a story about a “Long Distance Marriage” – and she - @XXX – your wife – she went “rabid” – tweeting such nasty comments…” I said.

“I know, Sir – I read your story – and her tweets too – she has very strong views on this subject – Yes, Sir – she is quite opinionated…” he said.

“Opinionated…? That’s an understatement. I think she is extremely rigid, prejudiced and dogmatic on some issues – almost fanatical. And – very hot-headed too…” I said.

“Yes, Sir…” he smiled, “hot-headed and obstinate. Who knows that better than me…!”

“I have one problem with her. Disagreeing with my views is fine – but – there is no need to get personal. Sometimes – she insults me very badly – she calls me all sorts of things – “bigoted” – “chauvinist” – “hypocrite” – all sorts of terrible slurs…!” I said.

“I know, Sir…” he said, “I have seen those “hateful” tweets. I have advised her – but she won’t listen…”

“If she “hates” me so much – why doesn’t she block me…?” I said.

“Why don’t you ask her…?” he said.

“Is she here…?” I asked, surprised.

“Yes, Sir – she is sitting by the seaside – tweeting away. She just had a “Twitter Battle” with you. Now – it must be with someone else. She “fights” multiple Twitter Battles…”

“Like a multi-front war…?”

“Yes…” he said, “but I think she “enjoys” the “Twitter Battles” with you the most – she gets totally “hyper” when she interacts with you…”

“Really…?”

“Yes, Sir. For her – on Twitter – you are “Enemy No. 1” – and you are probably the only one who engages her 24/7…”

“Yes. I am on Twitter all my waking hours…” I said.

“The worst is at night…” he said.

“At night…?”

“Yes, Sir – late at night – when we are in bed – instead of making love to me – she is engaged in “Twitter Battles” with you…”

“Oh…” I said.

“Sir – our married life is ruined because of your “Twitter Battles” – especially the “bouts” which extend late into the night…” he said.

“Oh – I really didn’t imagine…” I said, feeling contrite.

“Sir, just last night – when we were in bed – and I was in a “romantic” mood – she suddenly saw your tweet saying that military wives should be either homemakers or teachers – and she went “bonkers” – berserk with anger…” he said.

“I know – it was quite an acrimonious exchange of tweets…” I said.

“Sir, it lasted all night – your “twitter battle” was still going on when I woke up at 2 AM for a glass of water…” he said.

“I know…” I said, “I got quite carried away “battling” it out with her. She lost the argument – so – as usual she started making personal comments on me – “You are the biggest hypocrite I have seen – a man of double standards…” – “You try to show that you are a feminist. But actually – you are a misogynist…” – and – when I tried to make amends – she accused me of “talking down” to her in a condescending manner…”

“I know, Sir…” he said, “I saw the exchange of tweets in the morning…”

I finished the remains of my drink.

I saw that his glass was empty too.

“Let’s have a refill…” I said to him, “What’s your drink…? Whisky-Soda…?”

“No. No. Sir – let’s go out – my wife must be wondering why I am taking so long…” he said, “I’ll order drinks for all of us and tell the barman to send them to the seaside…”

“To be frank – I’d rather not meet your wife…” I said.

“Come on, Sir – don’t you want to meet your “Tweetheart” …?” he said, with a mischievous smile.

“Tweetheart…!!!” I said, “are you crazy…?”

“Sir – I am curious to see what happens when you two come face to face for the first time…” he said.

“You want to see me getting beaten up…?” I said, “seeing how violently she hates me – I am sure she will ferociously attack me the moment she sees me. Remember – she knows how I look – I have my latest Photo as my Display Picture on my Twitter Profile…”

“Don’t worry, Sir – I am there with you. Please come, Sir – I want the two of you to meet and talk – for my sake…” he insisted, “I want a “truce” between you two…”

“Truce…? You mean a “Twitter Truce” – do you…?

“Yes, Sir…”

“It’s easy…” I said, “I told you before. You just tell her to “block” me – or – at least – she can “unfollow” me…”

“That’s not possible, Sir. She is “addicted” to you…” he said.

“Addicted…?”

“Yes, Sir. And – I am sure you are “addicted” to her too – because you too haven’t unfollowed or blocked her despite all those insulting tweets she has tweeted against you…” he said, “Sir – people are addicted to “love” – you two are addicted to “hate” – a “violent” relationship – where people enjoy being nasty to each other. You are addicted to hating each other – you enjoy hurting each other – it’s like an online version of BDSM…”

“What…? “Online BDSM”…? Are you crazy…?”

“Sorry, Sir – I just wanted to say that you hate each other so much…”

“Well – I don’t hate her – it is she who spews venom at me…” I said, “at least till now – she is doing it offline on Twitter. But – if she sees me in person – she may even “bite” me viciously with all her “venom” – remember – her latest DP is a poisonous cobra snake…!”

“Sir – please come and meet her – I assure you that you will be absolutely safe…” he said.

“Okay…” I said, “since you are guaranteeing my safety – let’s go and meet your wife…”

And so – I walked along with the young gentleman – towards the seaside promenade – and I steeled myself for the encounter with my Twitter “nemesis” – @XXX – my “Tweetheart” (as her husband had jokingly called her).

Story to be continued in Twitter Warriors Part 2...

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
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Disclaimer:

1. This article is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.

2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

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© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

 

Tall Poppy Syndrome

The “TALL POPPY SYNDROME”

Ramblings of a Retired Mind

By

VIKRAM KARVE

In the inimitable war novel Catch-22 – there is a character called “Major Major Major Major”

(For brevity – let’s call him “Major Major”)

“Major Major” is a simple unassuming amiable officer who is liked by everyone – officers and enlisted men.  

One day – the Squadron Commander Major Duluth is killed in action – and – “Major Major” is appointed the Squadron Commander.

Suddenly – everything changes for “Major Major”.

The very same people who earlier loved “Major Major” – now – their attitude towards “Major Major” changes – and – everyone starts resenting his success

Many of his fellow officers have feelings of envy and animosity towards “Major Major” once he is promoted to Squadron Commander.

The most acrimonious and spiteful of them is Captain Black who believes that he himself was the logical choice to replace Major Duluth as Squadron Commander – and – grave injustice has been done by appointing “Major Major” as Squadron Commander.

Captain Black makes every effort to discredit and disparage “Major Major”

Captain Black uses various stratagems to sabotage and humiliate “Major Major” – and – cut him down to size.

This is an example of the “Tall Poppy Syndrome”.

Thanks to his “success” – “Major Major” is a victim of the “Tall Poppy Syndrome” – which results in hostility towards successful people.  

The “Tall Poppy Syndrome” is a culture where “successful” people are resented, attacked, cut down or criticized because of their success.

(Successful People are called “Tall Poppies” – and – cutting them down to size is called “Tall Poppying”…)

In an organization – the “Tall Poppy Syndrome” can cause in destructive feelings in work-colleagues of the successful person – which can lead to resentment, hostility and “envy attacks” on the “successful” person.

The “Tall Poppy Syndrome” is visible in personal relationships too – in families, friend-circles and in society – where we often see a tendency to resent and disparage successful people due to envy.

In a nutshell – the “Tall Poppy Syndrome” is hostility towards successful people and manifestations of that resentment.

There are many mythical stories about the origins of the term “Tall Poppy Syndrome”.

In one such apocryphal story – a young son of a King conquers a new land.

The young son asks the King for advice on how to deal with the newly conquered kingdom.

The King – who is strolling in the garden in a grove of poppies – draws his sword – and – with his sword – the King strikes off the heads of the tallest poppies in the grove.

The King’s son gets the message – and he methodically proceeds to kill all the prominent men (the “tallest poppies”) in the newly conquered land.

Once the influential men are eliminated – the son is able to easily govern the conquered land.

The term “Tall Poppy Syndrome” may have been probably derived from this apocryphal story.

Another fable hints that the underlying premise of the “Tall Poppy Syndrome” is that the tallest plants be cut down to the same size of all the others (cutting down to size)

So – in today’s world – “Tall Poppying” successful persons – probably means – trying to “cut them down to size”.

Don’t we see examples of the “Tall Poppy Syndrome” all around us…?

I saw plenty of instances of the “Tall Poppy Syndrome” in the Defence Services – where career prospects are limited due to the pyramidal hierarchy structure – and – it is very difficult to get promoted to high rank – which results in a large number of deserving officers getting “superseded” or “passed over” for promotion.

Many “superseded” officers feel a sense of resentment and envy towards their successful course-mates and try to “Tall Poppy” them.

You will see plenty of examples of the “Tall Poppy Syndrome” everywhere – in politics, in the corporate sector, in society, in families and personal life too.

The “Tall Poppy Syndrome” manifests at the societal level too.

One example is the cultural resentment against “migrants” who are more “successful” than the original inhabitants of a country.

Information Technology has been a catalyst in proliferation of the “Tall Poppy Syndrome”.

Nowadays – the Social Media has become a ubiquitous medium for “Tall Poppying”

People can easily express their resentment against “successful” persons on the Social Media – and such online “Tall Poppying” of an individual on the Social Media can go “viral” very fast and have a devastating effect on the victim.

What is the root cause of the “Tall Poppy Syndrome” …?

Is the “Tall Poppy Syndrome” a manifestation of “Crab Mentality” …?

(If I can’t have it – neither can you)

Or – is it an offshoot of “The Dog in the Manger” Syndrome …?

(People frequently begrudge something to others that they themselves cannot enjoy. Even if it does them no good – they won’t let others have it – like the mythical dog in fable – the dog in the manger who did not eat grain – but who nevertheless prevented the horse from eating the grain either)

Or – is it just basic human nature…?

Well – I really don’t know – but – I have been on both sides of the fence as far as the “Tall Poppy Syndrome” syndrome is concerned.

Dear Reader:

Have you experienced the “Tall Poppy Syndrome” – as a “victim” – or – as a “perpetrator”…?

Do tell us about it. 

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
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No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

Do You Carry “Stones” in Your Heart...?

DO YOU CARRY “STONES” IN YOUR HEART...?

A Teaching Story

By

VIKRAM KARVE

Once upon a time – there was a docile man – who used to work in an office.

He was a very meek and obsequious person

The docile man’s boss was a tyrant and a terrible sadist.

The tyrant boss used to scold, bully and harass the servile and docile man.

The tyrant sadistic boss had made the docile man’s life miserable.

One day – the boss suddenly died of a heart attack.

Just before his funeral – all members of his staff went to pay their last respects to the departed soul.

Suddenly – the docile man picked up a big stone – and – he threw the stone at the dead body of his boss.

Everyone was shocked and surprised at docile man’s strange behaviour. 

They asked the docile man why he had behaved in such a despicable and unbecoming manner.

Everyone asked him the reason why he had thrown the stone at the dead body of the boss.

The docile man calmly explained:

“All these days – I was carrying a stone in my heart. 

Today – I have thrown the stone out...”

MORAL OF THE STORY 

Do you carry such “stones” in your heart...? 

Is your heart filled with“stones” of bitterness – “stones” of regret – “stones” of ill-will – “stones” of rancor, resentments, acrimony – and – “stones” of vengeance.

Remember – you are bearing the burden of all these “stones” that you carry within you – and – this burden – due to the weight of all the “stones” you carry in your heart – it causes you pain. 

So – there is no point carrying “stones” in your heart – which cause you pain.

Whatever is causing you bitterness inside – get it off your chest – right now – once and for all.  

Just throw out all these “stones” right now – forget about them.

And – move on in life with a clean slate. 

Once you have thrown out all the “stones” from your heart – once your heart is clean – just experience how light and joyful you feel. 

It is true.

The Less “baggage” you carry inside you – the better your journey of life will be in the “outside” world.

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
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Abridged Version of My Blog Post posted online earlier at urls: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2011/03/do-you-keep-stone-in-your-heart.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/03/dont-carry-stones-in-your-heart-recipe.html  and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/07/vengeance-is-mine-how-to-take-revenge.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/03/how-to-take-revenge.html  etc