How to Organise Cocktail Party – Most Important Tip

COCKTAIL PARTY SUCCESS MANTRA

HOW I ORGANIZED SUCCESSFUL PARTIES

Memoirs of my “extra-curricular” Navy Life

A Spoof

By

VIKRAM KARVE

A Naval Officer is supposed to be a “Jack of all Trades but Master on One”

So – in addition to your professional “tradecraft” (your primary duty in which you are supposed to be a “Master”) – in the Navy – you are given a lot of “Bum Jobs” (euphemistically called “secondary duties”) – which you are supposed to perform to the best of your ability.

One of the “Bum Jobs” I enjoyed was organizing parties.

I was asked to this quite often – even when I was not the Mess Secretary. 

This indicated that I was good at organizing parties.

There are many “tips” for organizing good parties – food, drinks, snacks, décor, games, music, dancing, prizes, gifts, various arrangements for service etc – and I am sure you know most of them.

But – I will give you just one “tip” – the most important “tip” – which you probably don’t know.

Well – I used this “technique” with great success in official cocktail parties – but I am sure you can use it in various types of cocktail parties as well.

COCKTAIL PARTY SUCCESS MANTRA

This “mantra” is breathtaking in its simplicity:

LET ALCOHOL FLOW FREELY but KEEP WATER SCARCE 

I will repeat the “mantra” once more: 

Let Booze Flow Freely but Restrict Water/Soda 

I used to instruct the stewards to pour generous “Patiala Pegs” (three fingers of Whisky or Rum – which filled almost half the Whisky Tumbler).

All glasses were to be topped up with water or soda (a 50/50 Whisky-Soda or Rum-Water Combination)

Whisky and Soda were served separately only to the “VIP” – but even he was given a stiff “three finger peg” – and – the moment he picked up his glass – the Soda was quickly taken out of sight.

The stewards were given strict instructions to make alcohol easily available in plenty – but to keep water and soda scarce.

Now – like it happens in all “Fauji” Military Parties – all officers would crowd around the “VIP” or senior officers – vying for their attention.

The moment an officer sipped his drink – he would find it quite stiff – a bit too strong for his palate.

I made sure that water or soda was not available – the stewards would keep circulating with stiff “three finger peg” filled glasses of Whisky/Rum – but they were under strict instructions not to serve water/soda.

Now the officers had to choose from one of the two options:

1. Either they could leave the coveted “inner circle” by excusing themselves from the “VIP” – and they would walk all the way to the bar to get soda or water 

(Most “careerist” officers would hesitate to do this – since they would imagine that “excusing” themselves from the “VIP” may not be appreciated by the Senior Officer)

2. Or – they could continue to be in close company with the “VIP” – and keep sipping their drink 

After some time – their palate and tongue would get used to the strong drink. 

(Most officers would fall in this category)

Even for the “VIP” – he would be “encouraged” to sip his stiff drink – rather than making soda available easily.

The primary aim of a military cocktail party is to get the “VIP” quite drunk – or at least “high” – since – having the “VIP” in high spirits augurs well for the ship or unit. 

The pinnacle of success of a military cocktail party is achieved – if the “VIP” gets so drunk that he can hardly stand – and he has to helped out at the end the party.

Alcohol would flow freely – but – Water would be scarce.

Snacks and “small eats” would be kept out of sight – till everyone had imbibed enough alcohol and was in “high spirits”.

Within an hour – “spirits” would be high – and the party would be “swinging”.

Within two hours – most officers would have imbibed enough alcohol to achieve an abundant state of inebriation.

At the end of the party – three hours later – there would be atmosphere of drunken revelry and bonhomie.

Next morning – nursing their hangovers – everyone would “remember” what an enjoyable party it was – and I would be flooded with appreciation. 

“Memorable” parties are those in which you get so drunk – that you don’t remember anything next morning. 

Also – with everyone drunk – there would always be some hilarious antics by someone in his inebriated drunken state – which would be the talking point for the next few days. 

I remember a party where an officer got so drunk and emotional that he prostrated himself before the “VIP” at the end of the party 

(The “VIP” was also in “high spirits” – swaying from side to side – as he staggered towards his staff car) 

Next morning – everyone said that it was a most memorable cocktail party.

NB: 

Those days – in the Navy – officers drank as per the “colour of the sky” – so at evening cocktail parties – Whisky and Rum was served – and “pansy cocktails” and “ladies drinks” were kept out of these all-male “hard drinking” affairs.

It has been my experience that this “mantra” – Let alcohol flow freely but keep water scarce – works well for all cocktail parties. 

Pour “Three Finger Patiala Pegs” of Rum/Whisky and top them up with water/soda – and then – disappear the water/soda and let Rum/Whisky flow freely. 

Once the first stiff peg is down – your guests will get used to strong pegs – and start downing them fast – their “spirits” will be “high” pretty soon – and the party will be a grand success with everyone “enjoying” themselves in alcoholic trance. 

Also – with everyone in “happy” states of drunkenness – you don’t have to bother too much about the food – since – at the end of the hard drinking bout – with their “gustatory” abilities dulled with alcohol – your guests won’t discern the taste of food very much. 

The “proof of the pudding” of the success of the party is – if your guests get so drunk – that they don’t remember anything next morning – what they ate – how the party ended – how they got home – they should remember nothing – and they should wake up with a heavy hangover. 

Such guys will always say that the party was a “success”. 

So – “Let the Booze Flow Freely but keep the water scarce...”

Dear Reader: 

Next time you host a cocktail party – try it – and let us know if it worked for you. 

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
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© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.

2. All Stories in this Blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

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Updated Re-Post of my Story COCKTAIL PARTY SUCCESS MANTRA posted earlier in this blog at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/10/cocktail-party-success-mantra.html

BAILOUT

BAILOUT – A PARADOX

WHY SHOULD THE POOR BAILOUT THE RICH?

Musings

By

VIKRAM KARVE

I still vividly remember an incident which happened in the 1960s when I was a small boy and lived in Pune.

My mother believed in and practiced the concepts of thrift and frugality. She believed in building up savings rather than borrowing money.

We were taught to live within our means. We never took loans. In case we wanted to buy something expensive, we saved money till we had enough funds to buy what wanted.

After I got my job I opened a recurring deposit, saved money every month, and purchased my first scooter after nearly 3 years. I still remember that I bought my first car after working for more than 15 years. I bought it from my savings and did not take a loan for buying a car. If we could not afford something we had no hesitation in saying so and curtailed our desires instead of having false pretences. We had not fallen victim to the disease of instant gratification. We believed in “cutting our coat according to our cloth”.

We never lived beyond our means and that’s why we were financially sound and our savings gave us a sense of security.

We did not believe in “keeping up with the Joneses” and that is why we never felt any sense of inferiority or envy if our neighbour was better off than us or if he had something which we did not.

I have digressed. Let me take you back to the incident which happened more than 40 years ago. As I have already told you, since my mother believed in thrift and frugality, she always travelled around by public transport Pune Municipal Transport (PMT) Bus. Commuting by auto-rickshaw was considered a luxury and was resorted to only when absolutely necessary like when we had luggage and had to go to the railway station to catch a train or when there was some elderly or ailing person who could not travel by bus.

One day an aunt came to meet my mother. She was much younger and fitter than my mother. She had come to borrow money from my mother. At first my mother was quite reluctant to lend her money. I too seemed quite surprised that my aunt wanted to borrow money from us since she was quite well-off as compared to us.

Seeing my mother’s unwillingness to lend her money, my aunt pleaded desperately to the point of emotional blackmail (I could overhear something about cheques bouncing etc). Finally my mother succumbed and gave my aunt the money. Then she asked me to see my aunt off to the bus stop.

As we were walking towards the bus stop my aunt asked me to hail an auto-rickshaw.

“You want to go by auto-rickshaw?” I asked surprised, “Why don’t you go by PMT bus – it goes right near your house?”

“I am not used to travelling by bus,” she said with disdain, “these PMT buses are so dirty, crowded and uncomfortable – I just can’t travel in these terrible buses. Just call me a auto-rickshaw.”

And off she went travelling in the luxury of an auto-rickshaw.

Of course, my snooty aunt would pay the “exorbitant” auto-rickshaw fare out the money borrowed from us while we would travel by bus – that’s what hurt me the most.

How can someone who borrows money have a higher standard of living than the person who lends them the money?

In fact, why should someone who is well-to-do and has a higher standard of living borrow money from someone who is less well-off?   

Isn’t it logical that the standard of living of the lender should be much higher than that of the borrower?

My mother travelled by cheap public transport bus. My aunt travelled by expensive auto-rickshaw.

We lived in a modest home in a middle-class neighbourhood whereas my aunt lived in a stylish house in a posh locality.

Yet, my aunt would always borrow money from my mother when logically it should have been the other way round.

My spendthrift “pound-foolish” aunt kept on exploiting my thrifty “penny-wise” mother.

I did not understand the paradox.

How can the rich borrow from the poor?

Does it make any sense?

And, why should the rich borrow from poor?

But now I see this happening all around when I hear that familiar term “BAILOUT”.

Rich organisations like banks and airlines (who have the most highly paid employees) are being “bailed out” by the comparatively poorer tax payer. Yes, the poor tax payer is being penalised for the extravagance of these lavish spendthrift organisations who have landed themselves in dire straits because of their own incompetence and profligacy.

Why should a person who earns much less than the highly paid employees working in these organisations be expected to bail them out?

Is it fair to ask the middle class to bail out someone who is much more well-to-do?

Why must the economically prudent subsidize the financially reckless?

It seems the same thing is happening with nations too. Developed nations like Greece and Spain are seeking bailouts. If you have a look at the luxurious lifestyle and plush high standard of living of these European Nations as compared to underdeveloped or developing nations you really wonder why these developed and modern nations should be “bailed out”.

It is inexplicable – how can someone with a lower standard of living “bail out” someone with a higher standard of living?

It would be much better if these cash-strapped nations and bankrupt organisations be asked to cut costs, reduce salaries, prune expenditure, implement austerity measures and practice thrift and frugality rather than giving them bailout after bailout despite the fact that they continue with their spendthrift lifestyle. And if they refuse to mend their profligate ways then it is better to let them go bust.  

The poor subsidize the rich.

The “pound-foolish” keep on exploiting the “penny-wise”.

Strange but true – an inexplicable paradox – believe it or not.

VIKRAM KARVE 

Copyright © Vikram Karve 2012
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Did you like this article?
I am sure you will like the 27 fiction short stories from my recently published anthology of Short Fiction COCKTAIL 
To order your COCKTAIL please click any of the links below:
http://www.flipkart.com/cocktail-vikram-karve-short-stories-book-8191091844?affid=nme
http://www.indiaplaza.in/cocktail-vikram-karve/books/9788191091847.htm
http://www.apkpublishers.com/books/short-stories/cocktail-by-vikram-karve.html

COCKTAIL ebook
If you prefer reading ebooks on Kindle or your ebook reader, please order Cocktail E-book by clicking the links below:
AMAZON
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925

Foodie Book:  Appetite for a Stroll
If your are a Foodie you will like my book of Food Adventures APPETITE FOR A STROLL. Do order a copy from FLIPKART by clicking the link below:  

http://www.flipkart.com/appetite-stroll-8190690094/p/itmdyv7tdkhzn9vm?pid=9788190690096 

About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer. Educated at IIT Delhi, ITBHU Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories, creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional research papers in journals and edited in-house journals for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for almost 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing. Vikram lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramkarve@sify.com

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

   

A STORY YOU MUST TELL YOUR WEALTH MANAGER FINANCIAL ADVISOR and BANK RELATIONSHIP MANAGER

A STORY YOU MUST TELL YOUR WEALTH MANAGER and FINANCIAL ADVISOR
A Mulla Nasrudin Story
By 
VIKRAM KARVE

Whenever any Financial “Expert” wearing any garb (like Wealth Manager, Investment Adviser, Financial Adviser, Financial Planner, Bank Customer Relationship Manager or Insurance Agent) approaches you and tries to “advice” you regarding your investments, it may be good idea to first tell him or her this Mulla Nasrudin Story called FASHION SHOW: 

FASHION SHOW - A Mulla Nasrudin Story

One day Nasrudin went to a fashion show and his friends asked him how he liked it.

“They cheat you,” Nasrudin complained, “They show you the women – and then they try to sell you the clothes.”




That's what some financial experts, wealth managers, investment advisors and similar marketing guys do, isn't it? 
Especially when they try to sell you financial products. 


Have a Happy Monday

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 2012
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Did you like this blog post?
I am sure you will like the stories in my recently published book COCKTAIL comprising twenty seven short stories about relationships. To order the book please click the links below:
http://www.flipkart.com/cocktail-vikram-karve-short-stories-book-8191091844?affid=nme
http://www.indiaplaza.in/cocktail-vikram-karve/books/9788191091847.htm
http://www.apkpublishers.com/books/short-stories/cocktail-by-vikram-karve.html

COCKTAIL ebook
If you prefer reading ebooks on Kindle or your ebook reader, please order Cocktail E-book by clicking the link below:
AMAZON
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925

Foodie Adventures Book APPETITE FOR A STROLL

http://www.flipkart.com/appetite-stroll-8190690094/p/itmdyv7tdkhzn9vm?pid=9788190690096 

About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer. Educated at IIT Delhi, ITBHU Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and he is currently working on his novel. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories and creative non-fiction articles in magazines and journals for many years before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for almost 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing. Vikram lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts. 

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramkarve@sify.com        

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

    

FIXED DEPOSIT

FIXED DEPOSIT

a Mulla Nasrudin Story

By

VIKRAM KARVE

Every time I relocate I am amazed at the things we have accumulated.

We try to get rid of everything, except books. I don't know why but I love to hoard books. 

Look around you – don’t you see people accumulating and hoarding things they never use, maybe anything, like money, possessions, paintings, books, clothes, shoes, artefacts, stamps, coins, just about anything, and they take delight in looking at their “museums” once in a while and then putting them away once again. 

Well, I cannot resist telling them, and you, and me, this Mulla Nasrudin Story.

 

Mulla Nasrudin relocated to a new town.

In this town there was a tradition.

People saved their money and then with the money they had saved they purchased gold coins.

When they had enough gold coins to fill up an earthenware pot, they bought an earthenware pot, filled it with gold coins, sealed it and then they buried the pot full of gold in their gardens in a secret spot.

Once a year, they dug up the vessels from their secret hidden spots, opened the seals, checked their gold coins, resealed the pots and then buried them again at another secret spot in their gardens.

When the Nasrudin learned about this practice, he found an earthenware pot, and in full public view, he filled the pot with stones, dug a hole in the centre of the road and started burying his pot full of stones.

“Nasrudin, that is not the proper way,” said the townsfolk, “You are supposed to fill the pot with gold, not stones.”

“Dear friends,” Nasrudin laughed, “as long as you are not going to spend it, what difference does it make whether it is gold or stones...?”

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 2012

Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work. 

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Did you like this story?

I am sure you will like the 27 short stories from my recently published anthology of Short Fiction COCKTAIL
To order your COCKTAIL please click any of the links below:
http://www.flipkart.com/cocktail-vikram-karve-short-stories-book-8191091844?affid=nme
http://www.indiaplaza.in/cocktail-vikram-karve/books/9788191091847.htm
http://www.apkpublishers.com/books/short-stories/cocktail-by-vikram-karve.html

http://dialabook.in/prod_detail.php?prod=MTA0NzA=

COCKTAIL ebook
If you prefer reading ebooks on Kindle or your ebook reader, please order Cocktail E-book by clicking the links below:
AMAZON
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925

Foodie Book:  Appetite for a Stroll
If your are a Foodie you will like my book of Food Adventures APPETITE FOR A STROLL. Do order a copy from FLIPKART:
http://www.flipkart.com/appetite-stroll-vikram-karve/8190690094-gw23f9mr2o

About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer. Educated at IIT Delhi, ITBHU Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories, creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional research papers in journals and edited in-house journals for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for almost 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing. Vikram lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramkarve@sify.com      
vikramkarve@gmail.com

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.