If Navy and Air Force can work without the Sahayak System – Why not the Army...?

“SAHAYAK” 
(aka “Batman” aka “Orderly” aka “Attendant” aka “Runner”)
RELIC OF THE RAJ
A Fictional Spoof
By
VIKRAM KARVE

“SAHAYAK” (aka “Batman” aka “Orderly” aka “Attendant” aka “Runner”)

The CTC (Cost To Company) of an Army Officer is much higher than his equivalent Navy or Air Force Officer.

In addition to the pay and perks (which are roughly the same) – an Army Officer gets another “perk” called a “Sahayak” (aka “Batman” or “Orderly”).

Long back– I was posted as faculty in a tri-service training institution.

On the faculty – there were officers of the Army, Navy and Air Force – and all officers did exactly the same job.

We were all instructors – and – whether you were in the Army, Navy or Air Force – the job was identical – to teach.

But – only the Army Officers had “Sahayaks”.

The presence of “Sahayaks” was starkly evident in the evenings – when we all went for long walks.

I had a pet dog.

My neighbour was a senior Air Force Group Captain – who also had a pet dog.

We used to personally take our dogs for a walk in the evenings (and in the mornings too).

A number of Army Officers had pet dogs too.

But very few Army Officers would take their dogs for a walk. 

“Dogwalking” was the “duty” of the “Sahayak”.

Yes – walking the Sahib’s dog was the Sahayak’s job.

Maybe – it was “below the dignity” for an Army Officer to take his dog for a walk.

I noticed that the practice of Sahayaks walking Officers’ Dogs was quite a common sight in Army cantonments and tri-service institutions.

In fact – some of my Army friends used to leave their pet dogs with their Sahayaks when they went home on leave – or went outstation on courses.

One Army officer’s wife even commented that looking after their dog was the Sahayak’s job.

And – I observed that what she said was true – the “Sahayak” took full care of the dog – the dog’s food, the dog’s walks, the dog’s grooming, bath, everything...

In fact – the “Sahayak” was the de facto “Master” of the officer’s pet dog.

Every time a discussion on “sahayaks” comes up – most Army Officers are quick to defend this ancient practice saying that Sahayaks are required for Officers in the “field”.

Agreed. 

Army Officers may require Soldiers as “Sahayaks” in the “Field”.

But – how can you justify Soldiers being deputed as “Sahayaks” in peacetime Family Stations...?

Why must only Army Officers get “sahayaks” especially in inter-service establishments – where you have Navy and Air Force Officers doing exactly the same job as Army Officers...?

What rankles even more in inter-service training institutions is when some resourceful “student officers” from the Army manage to get their “Sahayaks” and flaunt them in front of senior Navy and Air Force Officers on the Staff. 

Is there any need for providing “Sahayaks” to Army Officers working in Headquarters in New Delhi – when their Navy and Air Force counterparts are able to do the same work without the assistance of “Sahayaks”. 


WHY DOES ONLY THE ARMY OFFICER NEED A SAHAYAK (BATMAN)...?

What is the genesis of this practice...? 

Why does an Army Officer need a “sahayak”...?

An old-timer Army Veteran once told me that a “sahayak” (batman) is not a private servant and he is not provided to an Army Officer to perform the duties of a domestic help.

The “sahayak” is not a domestic orderly.

The “sahayak” or batman is a combat soldier.

(The word “batman” is short form of “battle-man”)

The batman is actually a “runner” who always accompanies the officer in battle – and his primary duty in combat operations is to convey the orders of the officer to his subordinates – particularly when the wireless is not functioning.

Besides his primary task as a “runner” – the “sahayak” or batman is supposed to look after the officer’s needs, maintain his equipment and uniform, act as a bodyguard and protect the officer – and generally be his “buddy” – while the officer is engaged in combat operations.

Thus – the “batman” was the officer’s “battle-man” – his buddy in combat – and – there was no question of a batman being employed on any nature of domestic work – especially in peacetime family stations and in the homes of officers.

This is what the old-timer told me.

Unfortunately – the perception created in the minds of people is quite different.

It may not be entirely correct – but unfortunately – the general impression today is that – the “sahayak” or batman is a personal servant of the Army Officer and his Family.

Again I would like to say – this may not be a correct picture.

But then – what will be the perception created in the minds of people when they observe Army Officers using their sahayaks to take their dogs for walks – or send them to the market for shopping – and to perform various types of domestic work, menial jobs and household chores...?

This is visible to everyone in peacetime stations and cantonments – sometimes even in civilian areas where Army Officers live.

A recently Retired Army Officer’s Wife told me that the one thing she misses the most is her “sahayak”.

Long back – I heard a bizarre story which may be apocryphal.

A “resourceful” Army Officer who was posted to a non-family field area “managed” to arrange a “sahayak” for his wife who was living in separated married quarters in a peace station.

The irony was that the smart “sahayak” turned out to be even more “resourceful” and was having a rolicking affair with the officer’s wife – stealing her affections – while the officer was slogging it out in the field.

The story may be apocryphal – but – it imparts a lesson – that – it can be hazardous to let a “sahayak” get too intimate with families – especially wives and daughters.

With the advent of Women Officers in the Army – I wonder if they too are provided male sahayaks.

Or – are Lady Army Officers provided female attendants...?

Do some resourceful Senior Army Officers “manage” to get uniformed “sahayaks” even after they retire from the Army...?

I do not think it is permitted – but someone once mentioned that some resourceful senior Army Officers do “manage” to get sahayaks even after retirement.

Another argument Army Officers use to justify the institution of “sahayak” is that even other Civilian Officers (IAS, IPS, Railways, PSUs, etc) have various government employees deputed as “attendants” in their homes for similar domestic duties. 

Two wrongs don’t make a right. 

Does citing examples of Police/Civilian Officers misusing “attendants” justify to Army Officers misusing “sahayaks”...?

I wonder whether other modern Armies still provide “sahayaks” (batmen) to Officers...?

Do Civil-Service Officers, Diplomatic Officers and Police Officers of modern nations get “attendants” for their domestic work...?

Is it true that even Diplomats and IFS Officers are entitled to take “attendants” and servants on postings abroad...?

Well – it seems that we still remain a feudal society with the same old colonial culture – and – these “Relics of the Raj” are not going to go away in a hurry.

Is it possible to get rid of this colonial feudal practice of sahayaks in the Army and attendants in the Civil/Police Services...? 

Or – in the name of “jointmanship” – will this facility of “sahayaks”be extended to Navy and Air Force Officers too...?

One can argue that when almost everyone at Officer Level – all Army Officers – and most Civilian/Police Officers – all of them get “sahayaks” or “attendants” – why leave out only the Navy and Air Force Officers...?

Yes – if the “powers-that-be” want to continue providing Sahayaks/Attendants to Army/Police/Civilian Officers – then – will they consider providing “sahayaks” to Navy and Air Force Officers too...?

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:
1. This story is a fictional humorous spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.
Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)
     
© vikram karve., all rights reserved. 

This is a revised repost of my fictional spoof posted online earlier at urls: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/10/the-army-sahayak-batman-anachronism-or.html  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/07/humor-in-uniform-sahayak-aka-batman-aka.html  and  https://www.quora.com/profile/Vikram-Karve/Writing-by-VIKRAM-KARVE/WHY-DOES-ONLY-THE-ARMY-OFFICER-NEED-A-SAHAYAK-BATMAN?srid=5Hkq&share=7a93e7d8 and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/01/the-sahayak-controversy.html etc

Do Army/Police/Civilian Officers Need Sahayaks/Batmen/Orderlies/Attendants...?

My @Quora post: 

WHY DOES ONLY AN ARMY OFFICER NEED A SAHAYAK (BATMAN)...? 

Musings on Archaic System of “SAHAYAK” aka “BATMAN” aka “ORDERLY” aka “ATTENDANT” aka “Runner”…  

Click Link Below and Read Article.

Article is also posted below for your convenience...

https://www.quora.com/profile/Vikram-Karve/Writing-by-VIKRAM-KARVE/WHY-DOES-ONLY-THE-ARMY-OFFICER-NEED-A-SAHAYAK-BATMAN?srid=5Hkq&share=7a93e7d8 

“SAHAYAK” (aka “Batman” aka “Orderly” aka “Attendant” aka “Runner”) – A RELIC OF THE RAJ
A Spoof
By
VIKRAM KARVE

“SAHAYAK” (aka “Batman” aka “Orderly” aka “Attendant” aka “Runner”)

The CTC (Cost To Company) of an Army Officer is much higher than his equivalent Navy or Air Force Officer.

In addition to the pay and perks (which are roughly the same), an Army Officer gets another “perk” called a “Sahayak” (aka “Batman” or “Orderly”).

Long back, I was posted as faculty in a tri-service training institution.

On the faculty, there were officers of the Army, Navy and Air Force and all officers did exactly the same job.

We were all instructors and whether you were in the Army, Navy or Air Force, the job was identical – to teach.

But only the Army Officers had “Sahayaks”.

This was starkly evident in the evenings when we all went for long walks.

I had a pet dog.

My neighbor was a senior Air Force Group Captain who also had a dog.

We used to personally take our dogs for a walk in the evenings (and in the mornings too).

A number of Army Officers had pet dogs too.

But not a single army officer would take his dog for a walk.

“Dogwalking” was the “duty” of the “Sahayak”.

Yes, walking the Sahib’s dog was the Sahayak’s job.

Maybe it was “below the dignity” for an army officer to take his dog for a walk.

I noticed that the practice of Sahayaks walking officers’ dogs was quite a common sight in army cantonments and tri-service institutions.

In fact – some of my army friends used to leave their dogs with their sahayaks when they went home on leave or went on courses.

One army officer’s wife even commented that looking after their dog was the sahayak’s job.

And I observed that what she said was true – the “sahayak” took full care of the dog – the dog’s food, walks, grooming, bath, everything.

In fact – the “sahayak” was the de facto “Master” of the officer’s pet dog.

Every time a discussion on “sahayaks” comes up, most army officers are quick to defend this ancient practice saying that sahayaks are required for officers in the “field”.

Agreed – Army Officers require soldiers as “sahayaks” in the field.

But – how can you justify soldiers being deputed as “sahayaks” in peacetime family stations...?

Why must only Army Officers get “sahayaks” especially in inter-service establishments where you have Navy and Air Force Officers doing exactly the same job as Army Officers...?

What rankles even more in inter-service training institutions is when some resourceful “student officers” from the army manage to get their “sahayaks” and flaunt them in front of senior navy and air force officers on the staff.


WHY DOES ONLY THE ARMY OFFICER NEED A SAHAYAK (BATMAN)...?

What is the genesis of this practice – why does an army officer need a “sahayak”?

An old-timer army veteran once told me that a sahayak (batman) is not a private servant and he is not provided to an army officer to perform the duties of a domestic help.

The sahayak is not a domestic orderly.

The sahayak or batman is a combat soldier.

(The word “batman” is short form of “battle-man”)

The batman is actually a “runner” who always accompanies the officer in battle and his primary duty in combat operations is to convey the orders of the officer to his subordinates, particularly when the wireless is not functioning.

Besides his primary task as a “runner, the sahayak or batman is supposed to look after the officer’s needs, his equipment and uniform, act as a bodyguard and protect the officer and generally be his “buddy” while the officer is engaged in combat operations.

Thus the batman was the officer’s “battle-man”, his buddy in combat, and there was no question of a batman being employed on any nature of domestic work, especially in peacetime family stations and in the homes of officers.

This is what the old-timer told me.

Unfortunately the perception created in the minds of people is quite different.

It may not be entirely correct, but unfortunately, the general impression today is that the sahayak or batman is a personal servant of the army officer and his family.

Again I say that this may not be a correct picture.

But then what will be the impression created in the minds of people when they observe army officers using their sahayaks to take their dogs for walks, send them to the market for shopping, and to perform various types of domestic work, menial jobs and household chores.

This is visible to everyone in peacetime stations and cantonments, sometimes even in civilian areas where army officers live.

A recently retired army officer’s wife told me that the one thing she misses the most is her “sahayak”.

Long back I heard a bizarre story which may be apocryphal.

A “resourceful” Army Officer who was posted to a non-family field area “managed” to arrange a “sahayak” for his wife who was living in separated married quarters in a peace station.

The irony was that the smart “sahayak” turned out to be even more “resourceful” and was having a rolicking affair with the officer’s wife stealing her affections while the officer was slogging it out in the field.

Yes, it can be hazardous to let a sahayak get too intimate with families, especially wives and daughters.

With the advent of women officers in the army, I wonder if they too are provided male sahayaks.

Or are Lady Army Officers provided female attendants?

Do some Army Officers “manage” to get uniformed “sahayaks” even after they retire from the Army?

I do not think it is permitted, but someone once mentioned that some resourceful senior Army Officers do “manage” to get sahayaks even after retirement.

Another argument army officers use to justify the institution of “sahayak” is that even other Civilian Officers (IAS, IPS, Railways, PSUs, etc) have various government employees deputed as “attendants” in their homes for similar domestic duties.

I wonder whether other modern Armies still provide “sahayaks” (batmen) to officers...?

And do Civil Servants, Diplomatic Officers and Police Officers of modern nations get “attendants” for their domestic work...?

Due to the feudal culture of India – someone told me that even Diplomats and IFS Officers are entitled to take “attendants” and servants abroad.

Well – it seems that we still remain a feudal society with the same old colonial culture – and these “Relics of the Raj” are not going to go away in a hurry.

Since it will be impossible to get rid of this time honored feudal practice of sahayaks in the army – the best thing to do in the name of jointmanship would be to extend this facility of sahayaks to the navy and air force.

When almost everyone at officer level, all army and most civilian officers, get sahayaks and “attendants” – why leave out only the Navy and Air Force Officers...?

Yes – how about providing “sahayaks” to Navy and Air Force Officers...?

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:
1. This story is a humorous spoof, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.
Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)
     
© vikram karve., all rights reserved. 

This is a revised repost of my article posted online earlier at urls: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/10/the-army-sahayak-batman-anachronism-or.html  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/07/humor-in-uniform-sahayak-aka-batman-aka.html  and  https://www.quora.com/profile/Vikram-Karve/Writing-by-VIKRAM-KARVE/WHY-DOES-ONLY-THE-ARMY-OFFICER-NEED-A-SAHAYAK-BATMAN?srid=5Hkq&share=7a93e7d8 etc

The Housekeeper

Whenever I see a “homemaker” who depends excessively on her ‘maid’ for “housekeeping” – I remember this story. 

There is a saying: 

Behind Every Successful Man there is a Woman.

But now – with increasing number of women pursuing full-time careers – and with so many women breaking the ‘glass ceiling’ – this saying is outdated – and – as far as successful women are concerned – the new saying is:

Behind Every Successful Woman there is a “Kaamwali Bai”...

Of course – I fully believe in the dignity of labour – and I give equal respect to all types of jobs – and the term “Kaamwali Bai” is used in a metaphorical sense – in fact – if translated literally into English – the term “Kaamwali Bai” means “Working Woman”.

Now – the “Kaamwali Bai” behind the success of a career woman may be anyone who does the ‘housekeeping’.

The “Kaamwali Bai” (‘housekeeper’) can be a ‘maid’ – a ‘nanny’ – even a “surrogate” maid or nanny – like the mother or mother-in-law of the successful career woman. 

When I was in the Navy – I observed the dependence of some career-oriented wives on their Maids.

Here is a humorous story on the subject – have a laugh.

THE “HOUSEKEEPER”

Fiction Short Story

A Spoof

By

VIKRAM KARVE

Part 1

A RAINY NIGHT 

It was a scary night – dark – windy – thunder – lightning – and heavy torrential rain.

After the official ‘cocktail-cum-dinner’ party was over – my friend said to me: “It is raining heavily. Why don’t you stay over for the night in the mess – you can sleep in my cabin if you want.”

“No,” I said, “I will go back to my ship.”

“You have had quite a bit to drink,” my friend said, “Do you really want to drive in this heavy rain…?”

“I am okay – you don’t worry – I will reach safely…” I said.

“Be careful,” my friend said, “Drive slow…”

I put on my black oilskin raincoat over my evening ‘Red Sea Rig’ uniform.

I wore my helmet.

Then – I started my motorcycle – and I drove off in the rain.

A few minutes later – while I was driving through the married accommodation area – there was a sudden ‘cloudburst’ – a huge torrent of rain – a flood of water on the road.

I lost control – my motorcycle skidded – and I fell into a gutter – and I got totally drenched in the deluge of water.

I struggled and got up – hauled up my motorcycle – and dragged the bike into the parking lot of the multistory high-rise married accommodation building nearby.

I was totally drenched – soaked to the skin – and my oilskin raincoat was covered with muck from the gutter.

It was raining very heavily – and – in this torrential rain – it was impossible to drive my motorcycle – yes – in this terrible rain – and the flood of water on the roads – even going back to the mess was out of the question.

And – from the way it was raining – it did not look like the downpour of rain was going to subside very soon.

I stood shivering in the parking lot of the multistory high-rise building – wondering what to do.

My eyes went to the wooden board on the wall – on which the names of occupants of the high-rise building were listed.

I was delighted to spot the name of ‘course-mate’ – against Flat No. 303.

I had not met this ‘course-mate’ after leaving the academy – in fact – I did not know that he was in Mumbai – but then – that was the ‘Bombay Culture’ those days – where everyone was on his own trip.

I took off my stinking oilskin raincoat and helmet – and left them on my bike.

Then – I walked to the lift – and pressed the 3^rd floor button.

I stood outside Flat No. 303 and rang the doorbell.

After some time – a young woman opened the door.

It was obvious that this charming young woman was my course-mate’s wife.

She was dressed in her night-clothes – and it was evident that she had been sleeping.

“Sorry for disturbing you, Ma’am…” I said.

She looked at my wet uniform – but she said nothing.

So – I said to her: “I am a course-mate of “X” – he lives here – isn’t it…? I had a small accident on my motorcycle – and I thought I will spend some time here till the rain lessens a bit…”

She smiled – and she said, “He is not here – he is away on duty…”

“Oh – I am sorry – I will go…” I said.

“No…No – it is raining very heavily – please come in…” she said.

“Thanks…” I said.

I walked in – and I sat on the sofa in the drawing room.

“Shall I make you a cup of coffee…?” she asked.

“No – Ma’am – I have already troubled you so much – please go to sleep – I will relax here on the sofa – and I will quietly go away once it stops raining…” I said.

She smiled – and she went away – leaving me alone in the drawing room.

I do not know when I dozed off to sleep on the sofa.

What I know is that when I woke up – and opened my eyes – the first thing I saw was my course-mate’s wife looking at me.

She was freshly bathed – and she looked very beautiful – incredibly alluring – and I could not take my eyes off her.

She gave me a sweet smile.

I felt ashamed of having eyed her so brazenly – so I quickly moved my eyes away.

“Good Morning…” she said.

“Good Morning, Ma’am…” I said.

I looked out of the window.

It has stopped raining – in fact – there was bright sunlight.

“What time is it…?” I asked.

“7:30…” she said.

“Oh – I slept whole night – I am so sorry – I must go…” I said, filled with embarrassment.

“At least wash up – have a cup of tea…” she said.

“No – Ma’am – thanks a lot – but I have already overstayed my welcome – and I have to get back to my ship quickly…” I said.

“Okay…” she said.

“When will “X” be back…?” I asked.

“He should be back by tomorrow evening…” she said.

“Okay – then I will come over – and we will have a proper dinner…” I said.

“Yes…” she said.

“Thank you again, Ma’am…” I said – and I left.

Part 2

3 DAYS LATER

I asked around – and I found out the “X” was posted in an inconsequential appointment in the back of beyond.

No wonder I had not met him all these days.

Three days later – in the morning – I called up his office.

“Yes – “X” had reported back the previous day from outstation duty – and he would be in office by 9:30 AM…” I was told by his staff.

I reached his office at 10 AM.

“X” was happy to see me.

I shook hands with him and said: “I have come to thank you for the hospitality when I was stuck in the rain the other night – it was very sweet of your wife to let me stay…”

“Wife…?” he asked – looking confused.

“Yes – I was all drenched in the rain – I took shelter in your building – then I saw your name on the board – and I just barged into your house – and it was very kind of your wife to let me stay all night…”

“Wife…? How could she be there…?” he asked.

“Of course your wife was there…” I said.

“Impossible…” he said.

“Then who was that charming lady…?” I asked.

“That ‘charming lady’ you met was my ‘Maid’…” “X” said.

“What...?” I said, stunned.

“Yes – the woman you met at my home that evening was my ‘Maid’ – she is my “Kaamwali Bai” – she is certainly not my wife…” he said.

“What…? She was your ‘Maid’ – she was not your wife…?” I blurted out – totally bewildered.

“Yes – the woman who you met is my ‘Maid’ – she told me that some ‘course-mate’ of mine had got stuck in the rain and slept on the sofa – she didn’t remember your name – so now I know that it was you…?” he said.

“Oh – I am very sorry. But – your ‘Maid’ is so smart – that I mistook her for your wife – yes – I really thought that she was your wife…” I said.

“Ha Ha – I must tell my wife this…” he said, laughing.

“No – please don’t tell her – it will be very embarrassing…” I said.

Tea arrived – and we sipped our tea.

I noticed that “X” wasn’t telling me anything about his wife – so I asked him: “By the way – your wife – is she out of station…?”

“She is an ‘air-hostess’ in an international airline – so she is out on duty for around 15 days in a month…” he said.

“Oh – that’s great – we must meet sometime in the club – I owe you a dinner…” I said.

“Sure – my wife should be back by weekend…” he said.

“One more thing – please don’t tell anyone about my faux pas – it was a stupid blunder on my part in thinking that your ‘Maid’ was your wife…” I said.

“X” laughed – and said, “okay…”

But – alas – “X” told everyone about my stupid goof-up – and I became a laughing stock.

This angered me – and I did not visit “X” again.

Part 3

3 YEARS LATER

I was flying abroad for some work.

An ‘air-hostess’ came to me – and she asked me my name.

I told her my name.

Then – she said, “Come – we’ll upgrade you to ‘business class’...”

When I was comfortable in my new luxurious seat – the ‘air-hostess’ came over to me and she said to me: “You didn’t recognize me...?”

“I am sorry...” I started to say.

But she interrupted me – and she said: “Of course – we have never met – I saw your name on the passenger manifest – and I guessed it must be you – well – I am your ‘course-mate’ X’s wife – remember – you and the ‘Maid’ episode – you thought that my “Kaamwali Bai” was me…”

“Oh – yes – how can I forget – your husband “X” told everyone about it – and I became a laughing stock…” I said.

“In fact – my husband told our ‘Maid’ too – that you thought that she was his wife…” she said.

“What…? Did your husband “X” tell your ‘Maid’ that I thought that she was you…?” I asked.

“Well – my ‘Maid’ did have some inkling – she told us that you kept addressing her as ‘Ma’am’ again and again…” X’s wife said with a mischievous smile.

“I wanted to come over to your place – but I was so embarrassed to face your ‘Maid’ again – after my terrible faux pas…” I said.

“Well – you can meet her when you are in Delhi – the same ‘Maid’ is still with us…” she said.

“You’ve got the same ‘Maid’ even now…?” I asked her.

“Yes – we took our ‘Maid’ along with us when we were posted to Delhi – she is a big boon – it is because of her that I am able to do this ‘air-hostess’ job which requires me to be out for so many days…” she said.

“Yes – I saw that your ‘Maid’ was very good…” I said.

“She looks after everything at home – in fact – I have handed over all ‘homemaker’ duties to her – she manages each and every thing – she even looks after my husband so well – and she is so good – that I just don’t have to bother about anything…” she said. 

I looked at X’s wife – the smart air-hostess – a successful career-woman – and – I said jokingly: “You know – there is saying – ‘Behind Every Successful Woman is a “Kaamwali Bai”...’ – Ha Ha...” 

“Ha Ha – it seems true in my case...” she said laughing.

Suddenly – there was a call for her – so X’s wife smiled a ‘good-bye’ – and she left to attend to her cabin-crew duties.

Part 4

10 YEARS LATER

Ten years later – one morning – while driving down from Mumbai to Pune by the Expressway – I stopped at the ‘Food Court’ for a cup of tea.

A car entered the ‘food court’ parking lot.

I could not believe my eyes.

My course-mate “X” was in the Driver’s Seat – and sitting next to him was his ‘Maid’.

Both of them got out of the car – they walked to a vacant table and sat down.

Obviously – “X” had not seen me – or if he had seen me – then “X” probably did not want to meet me.

But – I was curious to meet “X” – and yes – I was quite intrigued by his rather intimate demeanor towards his ‘Maid’.

I wondered why “X” had seated his ‘Maid’ beside him on the front seat of the car – and even now – they seemed to be talking in a rather friendly manner.

I picked up my cup of tea – and I walked towards their table.

“Hello…” I said to my course-mate “X”.

“Oh – Hi…” my course-mate “X” said with a smile.

“May I join you…?” I asked.

“Of course…” he said.

“I’ll just freshen up and come…” the ‘Maid’ said – and she left for the washroom.

“So – I heard that you suddenly quit the Navy…” I said.

“Yes – I quit 5 years ago – I am in the Merchant Navy now…” he said.

“That’s great…” I said.

“Yes – the Merchant Navy is much better – especially moneywise…” he said.

“So – are you going to Pune…?” I asked “X”.

“No – I am driving down to Mahabaleshwar…” he said.

“What is wrong with you...? You are driving with your “Kaamwali Bai” sitting next to you on the front seat...? You are going to Mahabaleshwar – with your ‘Maid’…?” I asked – totally aghast and shocked.

“She is no longer my ‘Maid’…” my friend “X” said.

“What…? She is no longer your ‘Maid’…? Don’t tell me that you have married her…?” I said – totally baffled.

“Not yet…” he said – nonchalantly.

“...‘Not Yet’…! What do you mean by ‘Not Yet’...? Are you saying that you intend marrying your ‘Maid’…? You are going to marry your “Kaamwali Bai”...? So that means that you two are living together…?” I blurted out excitedly – since I was baffled out of my wits.

“X” did not say anything – he just looked down at the table.

His silence spoke volumes.

For me – the whole thing was unbelievable – most bizarre.

Then – after I recovered my wits – I looked at “X” – and I said to him: “Have you gone crazy…? Have you have dumped your ‘air-hostess’ wife for your ‘maid’...? Are you really thinking of marrying your ‘Maid’…?”

“X” did not answer – he just looked away.

I followed his gaze – and I saw the ‘Maid’ come out of the washroom and walk towards us.

I got up from my seat.

“Okay – Bye – it is time for me to move on…” I said to “X”.

Meanwhile – the ‘Maid’ had reached our table – and she was smiling at me.

So – I looked at the ‘Maid’ – and I said to her: “All the Best, Ma’am…”

Yes – I addressed her as “Ma’am”.

Last time – calling her “Ma’am” was a faux pas on my part – because then – she was my friend’s ‘Maid’.

But now – she was no longer my friend’s “Kaamwali Bai”.

Now – the ‘Maid’ had become my friend’s ‘Consort’ – and – she had earned the right to be called “Ma’am”.

The ‘Maid’ gave me a cute smile.

I smiled back at her.

Then – I turned – and I walked towards my car.

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
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Disclaimer:

1. This story is a spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.

2. This story is a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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This is a revised version of my story titled THE MAID posted online earlier by me Vikram Karve on this blog on July 13, 2015 at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/07/the-maid-love-story.html  AND  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/08/faux-pas-with-beautiful-woman-on-rainy.html  AND http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/10/romance-maid.html  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/01/my-friends-maid-passionate-love-story.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/03/the-air-hostess-and-her-kaamwali-bai.html