How to be Happy – The Happiness Equation

HOW TO BE HAPPY

THE HAPPINESS EQUATION

Self Help Musings

By

VIKRAM KARVE

Happiness may be expressed as degree to which you can fulfill your desires.

In a nutshell:

Happiness is the ratio of Desires Fulfilled/Total Number of Desires

Have a look at the “Happiness Equation” below: 

                            Number of Desires Fulfilled

Happiness  =   --------------------------------------

                             Total Number of Desires

We can increase our happiness by either:

1. Increasing the Numerator (Fulfilling Your Existing Desires)

Or

2. Decreasing the Denominator (Decreasing the Desires in Your Mind)

The second option is easier.

How do you achieve this...? 

How do you decrease your desires...?

It is simple.

Here is a “self help” article I wrote a few years ago on “Desire Management”

HOW TO MANAGE YOUR DESIRES
Philosophical Musings 
By
VIKRAM KARVE

DESIRES and HAPPINESS

Over the years I have realized that the Two Main Reasons for Unhappiness are:

1. Dissatisfaction caused by unfulfilled desires

and

2. Anxiety that you will not be able to fulfill your desires in the future


There is a close connection between happiness and desire-satisfaction. 

When you get what you want you feel happy and when you do not get what you want you feel unhappy.

Happiness results from getting what you want  (desire-satisfaction)

and 

Unhappiness results from not getting what you want  (desire-frustration)

Therefore, there are two strategies you can pursue with respect to any given desire:

1. You can either strive to fulfill the desire

or

2. You can try to eliminate the desire

No philosopher has better explored this than Epicurus, a Greek Philosopher of the Third Century BC. 

Epicurus (341-270 BC) espoused a strategy for achieving genuine human happiness by:

Emphasizing on the delights of the mind (over which you have control)

and

De-emphasizing the delights derived from material things (which are beyond your personal control).

This desire management strategy will help you scale down your desires to the basic minimum which can easily be satisfied. 

Yes, you follow this this two phase desire management strategy:

1. Firstly, you scale down your desires to those desires which are feasible for you to fulfill

after doing that:

2. You satisfy those desires. 

This will make you happy since fulfilling a desire creates happiness.

TYPES OF DESIRES

Epicurus distinguishes between 3 types of desires:

1.      Natural and Necessary Desires

2.      Unnatural and Unnecessary (or Vain and Empty) Desires

3.      Natural but Non-necessary Desires

HOW TO DEAL WITH THE THREE TYPES OF DESIRES

Our tendency to happiness (or unhappiness) depends on how we tackle each of these three types of desires.

1. NATURAL and NECESSARY DESIRES

Examples of natural and necessary desires include the desires for food, shelter, health, sense of security and basic physical needs, cravings which will necessarily lead to greater pain if they are not fulfilled.

These basic desires are easy to satisfy yet difficult to eliminate since they are “hard-wired” into human beings naturally and create a sense of well-being when satisfied (eg. “Happiness begins at the stomach” ) 

Furthermore, natural and necessary desires are necessary for life, and these desires are naturally limited: that is, if one is hungry, it only takes a limited amount of food to fill the stomach, after which the desire is satisfied.

Epicurus says that you should try to satisfy natural and necessary desires.

2. VAIN and EMPTY DESIRES – UNNATURAL and UNNECESSARY DESIRES

Vain, unnatural and unnecessary desires include desires for excessive power, wealth, fame, and other egoistic ambitions which have all the trappings of status and prestige.

Vain desires are difficult to satisfy, in part because they have no natural limit. 

If one desires wealth or power, no matter how much one gets, it is always possible to get more, and the more one gets, the more one wants.

These desires are not natural to human beings, but inculcated by society and by false beliefs about what we need.

For example, we falsely believe that being very powerful or wealthy or famous will guarantee us happiness. 

In actual fact, Opulence may attract thieves and other dangers, and Power and Fame may attract sycophants. 

Yes, such vain desires, which are unnatural and unnecessary, are sure to put you into the spiral of unhappiness.

Epicurus says that such vain and empty desires should be eliminated.

3. NATURAL but NON-NECESSARY DESIRES

An example of a natural but non-necessary desire is the desire for luxury food. 

Although food is needed for survival, one does not need rich expensive gourmet food to survive. 

Thus, despite his hedonism, Epicurus advocates a surprisingly ascetic way of life. 

Although you should not spurn extravagant foods if they happen to be available, becoming dependent on such luxury food (and other luxuries) ultimately leads to unhappiness.

These natural but non-necessary desires are those cravings that are not necessary for life, but give you great happiness. 

However, should you become dependent on them, such desires can lead to great unhappiness if they are not fulfilled. 

Natural but non-necessary desires are typically recreational in nature and examples of such desires include Sexual Gratification, Friendship, Aesthetic Desires, Entertainment, Social Intercourse, Creative Expression and Intellectual Stimulation, Liberal Arts, Reading, Social Networking, Sports, Travel etc

In the case of natural but non-necessary desires you must approach life like a banquet. 

Think of your life as if it were a banquet where you would behave graciously.

When a dish is passed to you, extend your hand and help yourself to a moderate portion.

If a dish should pass you by then enjoy what is already on your plate.

 

And if a dish has not been passed to you yet you must patiently wait for your turn.

In the same way as described above, you must treat your desires in the same way as you deal with food in a sit down dinner banquet.

CONCLUSION

To paraphrase Epicurus:

If you wish to make a man truly Happy

DO NOT GIVE HIM MORE MONEY

rather

If you really want to make a man Happy

TRY TO TEACH HIM HOW TO REDUCE HIS DESIRES

The Epicurean Philosophy of Life recommends that you must strive to do two things:

1. Eliminate the unhappiness caused by unfulfilled desires

and 

2. Reduce the anxiety that occurs because of the fear that your desires will not be fulfilled in the future

Adopting this wise Epicurean philosophy of life will enable you to attain tranquility and enjoy everlasting happiness.

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

     

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Do Your Needs Influence Your Behaviour...?

Self-Help and Self-Management

UNDERSTANDING YOUR OWN BEHAVIOUR

HOW YOUR NEEDS INFLUENCE YOUR BEHAVIOUR

Musings of a Veteran

By

VIKRAM KARVE

NEEDS DRIVE YOUR BEHAVIOUR

You see a man driving his car very fast – quite recklessly and dangerously.

You wonder why he is doing so – why is he behaving in this reckless way...?

Well – there can be many reasons for his behaviour.

1. Maybe – He is driving fast to experience a sense of thrill 

(to satisfy his need for excitement).

2. Or – He may be driving fast to save time 

(to satisfy his need for urgency)

3. Or maybe – he is driving fast to reach his destination on time 

(to satisfy his need for punctuality)

Thus – the same behaviour or action may have different motives – depending on the need you want to satisfy – at that point of time.

This is one simple example – but all your behaviour is governed by your intrinsic motivation to satisfy your needs.

Motivation is a psychological drive that arouses you to act in a certain way – to achieve your desired goal – which is – the satisfaction of your needs.

Thus – motivation is the psychological driving force that stimulates goal directed behaviour towards your desired goal.

Remember: 

Your desired goal is the “satisfaction of your need” 

For example – hunger is a motivation that elicits a desire to eat and satisfies your need for food – or – at a very basic level – your need for survival.

SIXTEEN (16) BASIC NEEDS THAT INFLUENCE HUMAN BEHAVIOUR

According to Professor Steven Reiss – there are 16 basic desires (16 psychological needs) that guide nearly all human behaviour.

Here is the list of 16 basic needs that influence your behaviour (in alphabetical order):

1. Acceptance – the need for approval

2. Curiosity – the need to learn

3. Eating – the need for food

4. Family – the need to raise children

5. Honour – the need to be loyal – to the traditional values of your country/clan/religion/ethnic group/profession/society

6. Idealism – the need for social justice

7. Independence – the need for individuality

8. Order – the need for organization – for organized, stable, predictable environments

9. Physical Activity – the need for exercise

10. Power – the need for influence of will

11. Romance – the need for sex – and for beauty

12. Saving – the need to collect

13. Social Contact – the need friends (peer relationships)

14. Social Status – the need for social significance (importance in society or at the workplace)

15. Tranquility – the need to be safe, secure and protected

16. Vengeance – the need to strike back – to retaliate – to take revenge – for perceived injustice – against persons/organisations who you feel have caused harm to you. 

PROCESS OF MOTIVATED BEHAVIOUR

Of course – as you will realise – this list is not all encompassing – and there are so many other needs that influence your behaviour.

Some of these “needs” are tangible – and some “needs” are intangible.

Why do you behave in the way you do...?

You behave in a certain way to satisfy your needs.

FOUR STEP BEHAVIOUR PATTERN

The process of human behaviour can be summarized in four steps:

1. A need is aroused within you

2. You behave in a way to satisfy the need

3. The need is satisfied

4. You relax 

SIMPLE EXAMPLE OF NEED MOTIVATED BEHAVIOUR

Let me give you a very simple example. 

1. You feel Hungry (the need to Eat is aroused in you) 

2. You Eat Food (this may entail related behaviour like cooking/ordering/going to restaurant etc)

3. Your Hunger is Satiated (need is satisfied) 

4. You Relax

Well – this is a very simplistic example – but – you have a choice of responses to satisfy your hunger – you can choose either to cook, order or eat out – and you can also choose the type of food to eat. 

You may behave in different ways depending on the situation – and – of course – different people will behave in different ways to satisfy their hunger ( someone may even steal food).  

For other more intricate needs – the behaviour may be more complex too. 

HUMAN BEHAVIOUR IS “NEED MOTIVATED”, “VALUE DRIVEN” and “SITUATION SPECIFIC”

You have seen how it is your needs – that influence your behaviour. 

The way in which you behave to satisfy your needs – it depends on your values, attitude and mindset – at that point of time in your life.

Yes – it is your values and mindset which will influence you to behave in a “certain way” to satisfy your needs in a given situation.

Your behaviour is value-driven and situation-specific.

For example – the “need for romance” will be satisfied by different persons each in their own unique way – depending on their values and the situation.

Some may satisfy their need for romance by indulging in platonic love – whereas others may resort to physical sex. 

Nowadays – some lonely people find it easy to satisfy their “need for romance” via online relationships.

It is best to try and satisfy your needs to the extent feasible – because – from the moment a need is aroused – till it is satisfied – you will be in a state of tension – which will “motivate” your behaviour.

Yes – during the period between “need arousal” and “need satisfaction” you will experience a sense of tension – a condition of unrest or uneasiness – which will propel you to behave in a certain way.

Once the need is satisfied – you will relax.

Needs can be immediate, short term or long term.

When you cannot satisfy a “need” – you will experience feelings of “frustration”.

HOW FRUSTRATION AFFECTS YOUR BEHAVIOUR

(ADAPTIVE and MALADAPTIVE RESPONSES)

The degree of your frustration will be related to the magnitude of the unsatisfied need.

Your frustration will affect your behaviour and may cause you to behave in different ways.

You may find a new and acceptable way of reducing or substituting the (unsatisfied) need – in order to make it attainable (adaptive response)

Or – you may continue futile efforts to achieve the unattainable need (maladaptive response)

One of the typical maladaptive responses to “frustration” is “aggression”. 

Another maladaptive response is to go into “depression” or indulge in negative activities like “alcohol/drug abuse”.

I have seen many individuals turn to alcohol when their need for success was frustrated.

CONCLUSION

Dear Reader: 

Reflect on your own behaviour in the past few days (or recall some of your own memorable behavioural disasters/fiascos or some curious behaviour you may have witnessed).

Explore the dynamics between your needs and your behaviour.

Is there a connection between your values and mindset – and way you behaved in certain situations...?

Your “needs” influence your behaviour 

Do you agree...?

Please comment and let us know.

Whenever you behave in a certain way – introspect and analyse: 

Which was the “need” that drove you to behave in that particular way...?

Do you want to change your behaviour...? 

Remember – the key to changing your behaviour is to work on changing your needs.

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

1. These are my personal views. Please use your own due diligence because they may or may not work for you. 

2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. All examples and tips are illustrative in nature. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

     

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

 

This a revised and updated version of my article first posted on Wednesday, August 21, 2013 by me, Vikram Karve, in my blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve (Posted by Vikram Karve at 8/21/2013 12:45:00 PM) at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/08/why-you-behave-as-you-do-musings-on.html  and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/09/how-to-manage-yourself-understanding.html