Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Stealing Affections – It Takes Two to Tango

While browsing through my “Humor in Uniform” writings I came across this Story I had posted on my blog more than 2 years a go in July 2014. 

I had written this post after reading a newspaper report on a “stealing affections” case.

Here is the story once more for you to mull over.

From My Humor in Uniform Archives (This Post Was Written on July 19, 2014)

Stealing Affections  It Takes Two to Tango
A Spoof
By
VIKRAM KARVE

There was a recent report in the newspapers about a Navy Commodore being sacked as he was found guilty of “stealing the affections of a brother officer's wife”. 

Link to TOI newsreport dated 17 July 2014 : 

(More url links to the similar news items on the “stealing affection” affair are given at the end of the post)

The term “stealing affection” is the military euphemism for “adultery”.

Stealing the affection of a brother officer’s wife is deemed to be conduct unbecoming of an officer and conduct prejudicial to good order and discipline and is considered an offence.

Don’t you feel that the expression “stealing affection” is a misnomer?

The word “steal” implies that you take something belonging to someone else without her knowledge or consent.

Can you “steal” someone’s “affections” without the other person knowing it?

Is it a case of one-way love?

Or is the lady (brother officer’s wife) willingly giving her affections to the officer (her husband’s colleague)?

If she is willingly giving her affections, can the officer be accused of “stealing” affections?

And, if the officer had forced his affections on the lady, she could have complained of rape or molestation, or outraging the modesty of a woman, for which the punishment is much more severe than mere dismissal.

There is a difference between sexual harassment and a love affair between two consenting adults.

An officer can “steal” the affections of a brother officer's wife only because the brother officer’s wife is willing to have her affections “stolen” by him.

In a love affair, the relationship and the sex, both are consensual.

So, isn’t the woman equally responsible for the adulterous love affair?

It takes two to tango.

Yes, it takes two willing people to commit infidelity, not just one.

Both the man and the woman are equally guilty of indulging in the immoral act of adultery.

But the man is punished severely, even sacked from his job, whereas the equally guilty woman goes scot-free.

Is this fair?

From an ethical point of view, is it ethical to blame only the man for the adulterous love affair in which the woman has willingly participated?

Is it not a case of reverse gender bias?

Extra Marital Affairs and “Stealing Affections” are not new to the Navy.

Surely, you have heard of the famous Commander Nanavati Case which, some say, was instrumental in abolishing the jury trial system in India.

As far as the navy mores are concerned, it seems okay for officers to sow their wild oats outside.

Even in cases of “stealing the affection of a brother officer’s wife” – as long as the affair is kept discreet, everyone looks the other way.

The Navy cracks the whip only when one of the aggrieved spouses complains, and the complainant is mostly the cuckolded husband whose wife’s affections are being “stolen” by another officer.

The saddest part is that the wife of the “straying” unfaithful husband is hit by a double whammy.

First, she has to bear the social humiliation associated with her husband accused of committing adultery with another woman and being punished for “conduct unbecoming of an officer”.

Second, she has to suffer financial consequences of her husband losing his job and, maybe, his pension benefits, if he is dismissed with disgrace.

The financial jolt due to loss of job and income of the breadwinner can be particularly severe is the wife is a homemaker financially dependent on her husband.

The children suffer unimaginable agony too.

Earlier there were no lady officers in the armed forces.

So the only sexual “offence” pertained to male officers “stealing the affection of a brother officer's wife”.

With the entry of women officers, new possibilities have emerged.

Whereas for male officers, stealing the affection of a brother officer’s wife is deemed to be conduct unbecoming of an officer and conduct prejudicial to good order and discipline and is considered an offence, in the case of female officers will the same apply to “stealing the affection of a sister officer’s husband” or “stealing the affections of a married officer”?

By the way, for a lady officer, stealing the affection of a “brother officer” is considered okay.

Conversely, stealing the affections of a “sister officer” seems okay for male officers.

In fact, “brother officers” are permitted to marry “sister officers” (yes, male officers are allowed to marry female officers) and there are many “military couples in uniform” in the armed forces.

It is all very bamboozling, so all I will say is that “stealing affection” is an affair of the heart in which “it takes two to tango”.

Links to News Reports mentioned in the post: 







A Recent Case of Stealing Affections -> 

Stealing Affections  It Takes Two to Tango

VIKRAM KARVE
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1. This story is a spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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Revised Repost of my article Stealing Affections  It Takes Two to Tango posted online more than two years ago on 19 July 2014 at url:
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