NEW YEAR
RESOLUTION 2014
NURTURE YOUR
STRENGTHS and IGNORE YOUR WEAKNESSES
Self
Help Musings
By
VIKRAM KARVE
I have made my New Year Resolution for the year
2014:
“I will
spend time doing things I like to do and try my best to avoid doing things I
don’t like to do.
I will focus
my efforts, time and resources on things I am good at, things I enjoy doing,
rather than fritter away my energy, efforts, time and resources on doing things
I am not good at doing and things that I hate doing.”
In fact, I will try and spend so much time doing what I like to do that I
will have no time left to do what I don’t like to do
DO WHAT DO
YOU ENJOY DOING and AVOID DOING WHAT DO YOU HATE DOING
If you have a natural talent for doing something, most likely, you will
enjoy doing it.
My wife is good at parenting. She loves children. She enjoys parenting
and playing with children and teaching them.
If you don’t have a natural aptitude for doing something, you will hate
doing it.
My wife is bad at cooking. She hates cooking food.
When we were newly married, my wife had zero knowledge about cooking – I had
to teach her even how to make tea.
However, I noticed that my wife was good with children (though we did not
have any children at the time of our marriage).
Whereas even cooking the simplest dish would cause her great stress, she
could be very patient with even the most ill-behaved children and she was good
at (and enjoyed) handling children.
We got a dog – a cute little 2 month old Lhasa Apso Puppy – as a wedding
gift.
Seeing the way she brought up the dog, I knew that my loved parenting and
would be good at bringing up children.
Soon we had children of our own.
Though I did not spell it out in so many words, I tacitly encouraged my
wife to focus on parenting and forget about improving her culinary skills.
Even whatever little efforts she made towards improving her cooking was
for the sake of our children – parenting was always her top priority and our
children will agree with me when I say that my wife has certainly proved to be
a very good parent. She is a better mother than a wife.
The moral of this story is that you should give priority doing things
that you like to do and avoid doing things that you don’t like to do.
You must focus your efforts at things that you are good at doing and
forget about things that you are not good at doing.
Do not waste your time trying to improve yourself at things for which you
have no aptitude, because the results will not be commensurate with your
efforts.
Instead, if you spend the same amount of effort at things for which you
have the aptitude, you will get rich dividends.
My wife followed this principle.
Instead of wasting her time trying to learn how to cook, she nurtured her
natural talent with children and has proved to be a excellent parent and
accomplished teacher.
Even if she had put in ten times the effort in trying to learn cooking, I
doubt whether she would have become a top-notch chef, simply because she hates
cooking.
We avoided calling over people for dinner because my wife would start
getting nightmares about cooking days before the event (even if rarely we did
call someone, we tried to get food from outside, or I cooked the main dish and
she managed the simple dishes).
In contrast, her efforts at parenting, caring for and teaching small children
yielded rich dividends.
WHAT ARE YOUR
STRENGTHS AND YOUR WEAKNESSES ?
Every
individual has some plus points or positive attributes.
Also, every
individual has some negative attributes as well.
Yes, we all
have some virtues and good qualities and we all have our faults and frailties
We all
possess some strengths and some weaknesses.
You are good
at some things and you are not so good at some things.
You have
your virtues (good qualities) and your faults (bad qualities).
Close your
eyes, introspect, and reflect on your strengths and weaknesses.
CONVENTIONAL
“SELF IMPROVEMENT” WISDOM – TRY TO IMPROVE ON YOUR WEAK POINTS
Most of us
are excessively self-conscious about our weaknesses and we spend too much
energy and resources in the process of trying to correct our imperfections.
You tend to
take for granted your good qualities, our plus points
and positive features, our skills and talents, our forte and strong
points.
Hence we
tend to neglect nurturing and building up our strengths.
In our
constant endeavour to overcome our weaknesses and correct our
imperfections, we ignore working on our good points.
We do not
spend enough effort in nurturing our strengths since
most our our time and effort is spent on trying to remedy our
so-called faults, frailties, imperfections and weaknesses
This is
because we keep thinking of our faults and weak points all the time and we take
our plus-points for granted.
Sometimes,
we become so obsessed with mitigating our weaknesses and shortcomings that we
devote so much of our time, efforts and resources in trying to remedy
our imperfections and we do not have any time, energy or inclination for
improving upon our natural talents and strong points.
You also see
that your parents, your teachers, your elders, your near and dear ones.
Most of the
time these well-meaning people tend to point out your shortcomings rather than
appreciate your plus-points.
Everyone
keeps giving you never-ending advise on how to overcome your weaknesses.
This applies
to parenting too.
Let us take
an example.
Suppose your
son is good in humanities but poor in mathematics.
What would
you do?
Most likely,
you would make him undergo tuitions in mathematics, make him put in maximum
efforts in mathematics, and since time and effort are finite, it is obvious
that he would not be able to put in maximum efforts in humanities since he is
concentrating on mathematics.
The end
result:
1. It is
unlikely that he would get top-notch marks in mathematics (since he does not
have a basic aptitude for mathematics).
2. He will
not be able to achieve his full potential in humanities too.
Just imagine
the result if you had allowed him to concentrate all his time and efforts on
humanities, which he is good at and enjoys doing.
NEW AGE
WISDOM – FOCUS ON YOUR FORTE
Why not
forget about our weaknesses, our imperfections, and focus all our efforts and
resources on improving our strong points?
If you study
the biographies of great persons you will realize that this has been their
leitmotif.
Yes, these people became great because they focused on
their one main strength and forgot about everything else.
They devoted all their energies to nurturing their forte, their
strongest point.
Great
Achievers just ignore their frailties and concentrate all their efforts on
enhancing and bettering their strong points, boosting their forte,
and this is the secret of how they achieve great heights.
They do not fritter away all their energies on trying to rectify their weaknesses.
They do not fritter away all their energies on trying to rectify their weaknesses.
They apply these
energies in improving their strengths to
even higher levels.
So that’s
the way to excellence:
nourish
your strengths and ignore your weaknesses
It works
- you can take my word for it.
NURTURE YOUR STRENGTHS and IGNORE YOUR
WEAKNESSES
Constantly
worrying about your faults and weaknesses and expending your internal resources
and focusing your entire effort trying to rectify your shortcomings
will physically sap you, drain your emotional energy and demoralize you since
you will never be able to achieve the desired results.
If you apply the same effort to improving your strengths the results will be much more encouraging and fruitful.
If you apply the same effort to improving your strengths the results will be much more encouraging and fruitful.
This is
because working on improving your strengths and positive points will fill you
with zest and enthusiasm since you will always enjoy working on something you
are good at and doing something you like.
So even the
results are sure to be encouraging and this will further raise your morale and
fill you with cheer.
One always
enjoys doing what one is good at and the results will be commensurate
too.
On the
contrary you are likely to become fatigued and disheartened doing something you
are not good at doing or something you do not like to do.
Hence, in
such cases, the results will not be commensurate with the time and efforts you
put in and resources you expend.
So why waste
your valuable time, effort and resources in doing things which you are not good
at doing and you do not like doing and which are not your true metier?
SELF
IMPROVEMENT MANTRA
You must do
two things:
1. Introspect and identify your
strengths and weaknesses.
2. Accept
your weaknesses as they are and forget about them.
Once you
have forgotten about your faults, frailties, imperfections and weaknesses, just
ignore them.
That is the
key – you must accept your weaknesses as they are and forget about them.
Do not waste
your efforts, your resources and your energy on trying to overcome your
shortcomings.
Now,
concentrate all your efforts on reinforcing, enhancing and boosting
your strengths.
It is just
not worth it to waste your energies and deplete your resources trying in vain
to correct your shortcomings.
Instead, it would be much better to direct all your efforts and apply your resources on further enhancing and improving your plus-points.
Instead, it would be much better to direct all your efforts and apply your resources on further enhancing and improving your plus-points.
As far as
your so-called weaknesses and shortcomings are concerned, it is best to accept
yourself as you are.
Keep thinking about your plus-points and do not waste your time thinking about your so-called flaws, blemishes and minus-points.
Just forget about your weaknesses and get them out of your mind.
Keep thinking about your plus-points and do not waste your time thinking about your so-called flaws, blemishes and minus-points.
Just forget about your weaknesses and get them out of your mind.
Thinking
good thoughts about your plus-points and positive attributes will make you feel
good and confident.
Then,
just focus all your efforts on improving your strengths and
see yourself rise from strength to strength.
Make a New Year Resolution like I did, and promise yourself:
“You will spend time doing things you like to do and try your best to avoid
doing things you don’t like to do.
You will focus your efforts, time and resources on things you are good at
doing, things you enjoy doing, rather than fritter away your energies, efforts,
time and resources on doing things you are not good at doing and things that you
hate doing.”
Like I said, you must try and spend so much time doing what you like to
do that you will have no time left to do what you don’t like to do!
It works - you can take my word for it.
Try
this self improvement mantra and see the results for yourself.
And do
comment and tell us your experience and let us know whether this self
improvement mantra worked for you.
Wish You a
Happy New Year.
VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
NB:
All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.
Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
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About Vikram Karve
A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer and blogger. Educated at IIT Delhi, IIT (BHU) Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and an anthology of short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories and creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional and academic research papers in journals and edited in-house journals and magazines for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing and blogging. Vikram Karve lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.
Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
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Email: vikramkarve@hotmail.com
AMAZON
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925
Foodie Book: Appetite for a Stroll
If your are a Foodie I am sure that you will like my book of Food Adventures APPETITE FOR A STROLL. Do order a copy from FLIPKART:
http://www.flipkart.com/appetite-stroll-vikram-karve/8190690094-gw23f9
About Vikram Karve
A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer and blogger. Educated at IIT Delhi, IIT (BHU) Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and an anthology of short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories and creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional and academic research papers in journals and edited in-house journals and magazines for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing and blogging. Vikram Karve lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.
Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramkarve@hotmail.com
Twitter: @vikramkarve
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
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