HUMOUR IN UNIFORM
Unforgettable Characters I Met in the Navy
THE CRAZY COMMODORE – Part 2
INITIATION
An Apocryphal Story
By
VIKRAM KARVE
Disclaimer:
This story is a work of fiction. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
NB
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.
Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)
Continued from THE CRAZY COMMODORE Part 1:
I am sure you have read the story of THE CRAZY COMMODORE WITH A PHOBIA FOR “MANAGEMENT THOUGHTS” (Part 1 of this series)
(If you haven’t read it, please click the url link above and
read the story in new window – but remember to come back here and read this
story – or better still why don’t you read this story first and then read the
other one later).
INITIATION - an apocryphal story by Vikram Karve
As I told you earlier in Part 1, after
slogging for 5 years in the Navy, afloat and ashore, I was “selected” to
undergo the 2 year M. Tech. course at IIT Delhi. On completion of my post
graduation (M.Tech) I was posted to the military “babudom” in Delhi – what we
in the Navy jokingly referred to as the landlocked “Northern Naval Command”. Though
ostensibly it was an R&D billet (in consonance with my recently acquired
M.Tech. qualification), in actual fact I was a pen-pusher, a “Babu in Uniform”.
I clearly remember the first day I reported
to my new job after completing my M. Tech. at IIT Delhi.
The officer who I was relieving was delighted
that I had reported – he was a few years senior to me and was looking forward
to proceeding for his sea time.
He explained the duties of the position to
me.
Then he took me to the Commodore (the very
same Crazy Commodore with a Phobia for “Management Thoughts” I have described
in the earlier story in Part 1)
“Has he been initiated? Has he successfully
completed his initiation?” the Commodore asked him.
“No, Sir,” my predecessor said.
“Then why have you brought him to me? See
that he is properly initiated first and then bring him to me – you will be
relieved of your duties only after that,” the Commodore said to my predecessor.
I was totally bamboozled and I wondered what
this “initiation” was all about.
I felt confused – was this office in the navy
or had I landed in some occult outfit?
To be frank, the sinister way in which the
Commodore had said “has he been initiated” sent shivers down my spine.
The whole thing sounded macabre, something paranormal.
Yes, I was truly petrified at hearing the Commodore’s
words: “Has he been initiated? Has he successfully completed his initiation?” and
all sorts of scary thoughts filled my mind.
My imagination ran wild and I trembled with
trepidation as I wondered what the “rituals of initiation” would be like.
Would there be skulls, black magic, weird dances,
eerie agonizing initiation rites, or something more macabre, or worse still,
something perverted, abnormal or unnatural...?
“Don’t worry – it is not what you are
thinking,” my predecessor said as if he was reading my thoughts, “be ready at 6:30
in the evening – I will come and pick you up from your house.”
Well, in the evening I realized that my fears
were totally unfounded.
In fact, the so-called “initiation ceremony”
turned out to be a damp squib.
I was taken to a rather salubrious, serene and
tranquil place to learn meditation.
After the first training session was over, my
predecessor said to me, “You keep coming here every morning and evening till
you learn how to meditate properly.”
“Okay, Sir,” I said.
“Please learn how to meditate quickly, so
that I can be relieved and proceed for my sea time. It is only when the Guru
rings up our boss and tells him you have learnt how to meditate can you start
coming to office and take over my duties.”
I enjoyed learning how to meditate – it was a
simple method based on breathing.
I learnt how to meditate in 3 days and the Guru
told me that I need not come to him anymore, but I must meditate twice a day at
home.
So, in fact, this so-called “initiation”
turned out to be quite good for me, after all, and I often practice meditation even
till today.
But I liked to practice meditation in my own
time – in the mornings and evenings at home – because I felt that this was my
personal affair.
However,
my boss did not think so.
He
had institutionalized the practice of meditation and everyone in the office was
meditating away to glory.
Some
were meditating individually.
Some
were meditating in groups.
And
if the boss saw you meditating then you earned brownie points.
For
example, let me tell you the story of the officer who had dozed off to sleep
after imbibing a generous amount of beer at the customary Friday afternoon Pre
Lunch Drinks (PLD) in the Navy wardroom.
Guzzling
Chilled Beer on a Hot Summer Afternoon has a salutary effect and so this
officer was in deep slumber at his desk when the Commodore peeped in with a
file in his hand.
The
officer sitting next to him, at the neighbouring desk, panicked and thought, “It
seems to be something urgent, or else the Commodore wouldn’t have come here.”
So
the officer at the neighbouring desk tried to wake up the sleeping officer.
“No,”
signalled the Commodore with his hands, and then, the Commodore said in soft
admonishment, “don’t disturb him. Can’t you see that he is meditating? When he
finishes meditating, ask him to come to my office.”
We
were encouraged to meditate singly, we were encouraged to meditate in groups,
especially at lunchtime, and, once a week, there would be combined group
meditation at lunchtime which was compulsory for everyone – yes, each and everyone
had to attend – from the Commodore right down to the peon.
The
Commodore explained to us that whereas individual mediation would benefit us
individually, group mediation would release positive vibes in the entire office
and this would improve interpersonal relationships and indeed uplift the
performance of the entire office.
This
combined group meditation was lead by the Commodore in the main office hall.
It
was during one such combined group meditation session that the Admiral urgently
wanted to see the Commodore.
“Sir,
no one is picking up the phone in the Commodore’s office,” the Admiral’s Staff
Officer said.
“Then
you personally go there and call him,” the Admiral shouted.
The
Staff Officer returned empty handed and said, “Sir, the Commodore is not in his
office. Even his PA is not there so we don’t know if he has gone somewhere.”
“Then
get some other officer,” the Admiral said.
“Sir,
there is no officer on his seat,” the Staff Officer mumbled.
“What
nonsense!” the Admiral roared as he walked out of his office and he started striding
down the corridor, pushing open doors of offices, surprised to find them empty,
till he reached the main office hall at the end of the corridor.
The
Admiral pushed open the door of the main hall.
For
a moment, he was stunned by what he saw.
Everyone,
officers and staff, men and women, were sitting as if in a trance – eyes closed
and in deep meditation.
“Stop
this nonsense!” the Admiral roared, and broke our blissful trancelike spell of
meditation.
“And
you,” the Admiral said to the Commodore, “come to my office immediately.”
That
was the end of institutionalized group meditation, though the Commodore continued
to exhort us to meditate surreptitiously in the office whenever we wanted to.
The
Commodore did not give up – he kept on trying to convince the Admiral to get “initiated”.
But
then the Admiral was an elbow-bending down-the-hatch spirit imbibing officer of
the “old mould” who believed that downing spirits was a better way to achieve
enlightenment than drowning yourself in spirituality.
To
be continued in Part 3 ...
VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
Disclaimer:
All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
NB
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.
Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
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About Vikram Karve
A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer and blogger. Educated at IIT Delhi, IIT (BHU) Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and an anthology of short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories and creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional and academic research papers in journals and edited in-house journals and magazines for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing and blogging. Vikram Karve lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.
Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramkarve@hotmail.com
AMAZON
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925
Foodie Book: Appetite for a Stroll
If your are a Foodie I am sure that you will like my book of Food Adventures APPETITE FOR A STROLL. Do order a copy from FLIPKART:
http://www.flipkart.com/appetite-stroll-vikram-karve/8190690094-gw23f9
About Vikram Karve
A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer and blogger. Educated at IIT Delhi, IIT (BHU) Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and an anthology of short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories and creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional and academic research papers in journals and edited in-house journals and magazines for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing and blogging. Vikram Karve lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.
Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramkarve@hotmail.com
Twitter: @vikramkarve
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
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