Romance in Uniform – Sweetie

SWEETIE

A “Sweet” Memory from my Wonderful Navy Days

A Spoof

By

VIKRAM KARVE

“Have you seen Sweetie...?” Colonel “P” asked me.

“No, Sir,” I said.

“I don’t know where she has gone. The Dean wants to meet her and I just can’t find her anywhere,” the Colonel said.

“Don’t worry, Sir – I’ll find her and bring her to you,” I said.

The Colonel returned to the senior officers’ group.

I started walking down to the boat jetty.

This happened 30 years ago, in the mid 1980’s, in a lovely place called IAT nestled in the hills of Girinagar near the city of Pune.

It was one of those Sunday morning get-togethers for officers and families at the Naval Bay on the banks of Khadakwasla lake.

It was a verdant and picturesque place, with shady trees, lush green lawns and abundance of flora alongside the cool blue waters of the lake – an ideal setting for a picnic on a bright winter morning.

“Hey, you guys, have you seen the Colonel’s daughter?” I asked some student officers who were walking up from the boat jetty.

“The Colonel’s daughter? Sir, I thought the D of S (Army) had two sons,” one of them said.

“No. No. Not the outgoing Colonel. I am talking of the newly arrived Colonel – Colonel “P”. He has a small daughter – she must be around 3 years old – her name is Sweetie – I had seen her playing on the lawns up there – and now she is not there – and the Colonel is worried,” I said.

“Is she a 3 year old girl, Sir? I think she has gone for a boat ride. I saw Sub Lieutenant “X” getting into the boat with a small girl in his arms,” one of the officers said.

“Are you sure?” I asked.

“Yes, Sir – I am quite sure,” he said.

Then, another officer said, “Sir – I will get the binoculars from the boat shed – then we can see clearly.”

I looked through the binoculars.

The boat was moving slowly across the Khadakwasla lake.

I could clearly see Sweetie – she was sitting on the Sub Lieutenant’s lap – and he was holding her tight.

I walked up to the lawns and I reported to the Colonel, “Don’t worry, Sir – Sweetie is safe and sound.”

“But where is she?” he asked, looking anxious.

“She is enjoying a boat ride,” I said.

“Sweetie has gone for a boat ride? How is that possible? Sweetie does not know how to swim. And she is so scared of water. I wonder how she got into the boat?” the Colonel asked.

“Sir, Sub Lieutenant “X” picked her up in her arms…”

“What? A Sub Lieutenant took Sweetie in his arms?” the Colonel said, looking worried.

“Don’t worry, Sir – I myself checked up through the binoculars – Sweetie is sitting on the Sub Lieutenant’s lap – and he is holding onto her tightly,” I said.

“What? Sweetie is sitting on a Sub Lieutenant’s lap?” the Colonel exclaimed, looking flabbergasted.

Then – as if in a daze – the Colonel broke off from the gathering – and we saw him running down towards the boat jetty.

“What’s wrong with the Colonel? Why is he so hyper?” someone asked.

“Maybe it is because he’s just got one daughter – Sweetie is his only child. And that too so late in life – he’s got a kid after the age of 40 – maybe that’s why he is so possessive and over protective,” I reasoned.

We sipped our beer.

A few moments later, we saw Commander “M” emerge from the woods with a ravishing beauty.

I just could not take my eyes off the gorgeous lady.

“Hello, Navy Boys – you have got a lovely place here – your Commander just took me for an exciting trek on the banks of the lake,” the beautiful lady said, looking quite flushed.

“Good morning, Ma’am,” we said.

“Oh – I forgot to introduce myself – or rather – your Commander forgot to introduce me,” she said.

The Commander looked embarrassed and started to speak.

But before he could say anything – the beautiful woman looked at me – proffered her hand and she said, “My name is Sweetie.”

“Sweetie?” I exclaimed, looking shocked and dumbfounded.

“Why? You don’t like my name? Can’t my name be Sweetie? Am I not sweet?” she joked, smiling flirtatiously.

“No, Ma’am. Yes, Ma’am…” I fumbled in embarrassment.

“Hey, please don’t call me Ma’am...” she said.

“Okay, Mrs “P”...” I said.

“Mrs “P”...? That’s even worse – I don’t like  “Mrs “P” either – and for heaven’s sake, please don’t call me “Mrs Colonel” like someone once did,” she laughed vivaciously.

Then Sweetie looked into my eyes and she said to me, “you are my age – so just call me Sweetie.”

“Okay – Sweetie...” I said, trying to recover my wits.

“Hey – what happened – why are you looking so lost?” Sweetie asked me.

“I thought ‘Sweetie’ was your daughter’s name...” I mumbled.

“What...? Forget all that – I’m feeling thirsty – I’m dying for a drink,” she said.

I got her a drink. 

We talked. 

We sipped our drinks. 

Sweetie was really sweet and I enjoyed her company.

Suddenly, Sweetie looked beyond my shoulder – and then she said: “Ah – there comes my boring husband. He seems to be looking quite grumpy.”

I turned around and I followed her gaze.

Colonel “P” was trudging up the slopes – holding his 3 year old daughter in his arms.

As he approached – I could see that the Colonel was giving me quite a ferocious look.

So – I quickly excused myself from Sweetie – and I left the scene before the arrival of her husband – the furious Colonel “P”.

EPILOGUE

I looked at Colonel “P” and his wife Sweetie.

What a contrasting couple – a grumpy old husband and a bubbly youthful wife.

During my long Navy career – I met many such couples – and I always wondered:

“How come the grouchy ‘old fogeys’ always got the most vivacious youthful wives?”

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

1. This story is a spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.

2. All Stories in this Blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)

This Story was First Posted by me Vikram Karve at 2/04/2014 01:17:00 PM in my Academic and Creative Writing Journal blog at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/02/sweetie.html  and later re-posted a number of times including at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/02/sweetie-sweet-memoir.html  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/11/humor-in-uniform-sweet-memoir.html 

“WORK” – “OBLIGATION” = “FUN”

“WORK” Minus “OBLIGATION” Equals “FUN” 

“WORK” – “OBLIGATION” = “FUN” 

Ramblings of a Retired Mind

By

VIKRAM KARVE

WORK AND OBLIGATION 

When someone offers you money to do a job – they pay you for two things:

1. Of course – you are paid for your EXPERTISE

2. But – more importantly – you are paid for your TIME

When you are paid money to do something – you work under obligation.

When you work under obligation – people have expectations from you – and you have to meet deadlines and deliver results.

Let me give you an example.

Towards the end of my “work-life” – I taught at a University.

Since I was paid a salary – I was “obliged” to take lectures – and conduct various types of training courses.

I could not “pick and choose” – and – though I enjoyed training more than teaching – I had to do both.

Of course – you were given choice of subject to the extent feasible – but sometimes – I had to teach subjects I did not like to students who were more interested in grades than learning – though I preferred training young inductees who were keen and enthusiastic to learn.

Now – I have retired.

Many institutions/organizations do call me as a “guest lecturer” for teaching/training.

But now – I am free to pick and choose – yes – as long as I don’t take money – I am under no obligation.

So – I go and take lectures at places where I enjoy myself – and – I decline where I do not want to go.

During my long career in the Navy too – I was quite lucky – as most of the time I enjoyed autonomy to work in my style.

Most of my bosses gave me a free hand.

And – my “abrasive personality” helped – in the case of some “nosey-parker” bosses – who tried to “micromanage” me – and – thanks to my brusque style – after a few “encounters” with me – they stopped interfering and kept a safe distance.

In the Navy there is a dictum:

When you are given a task – You “Like” it or you “Lump” it

I tried to make sure – that in most of my jobs – I “Liked” it – and my bosses “Lumped” it

However – since I was paid a salary – I was “obliged” to meet deadlines and deliver results – which I did – and – sometimes – I did have to do jobs that I did not enjoy doing.

Yes – if you are paid money – then you are under obligation to “sell” your expertise and your time to your employer/client who has “bought” your expertise and time.

While your “expertise” is important – your “time” is more important.

In order to realize your full potential – you must have the “autonomy” to optimally utilize your expertise.

And – if you want to enjoy autonomy – you must have total control on your time.

Not being under obligation gives you full freedom on how to use your time to realize your full potential while enjoying the work you want to do without being under pressure to deliver.

Unless you are a “Maharaja” – or a “Nawab” – or a “Freeloader” – you may have to “work” to earn a living.

However – you can certainly try to strike a balance between “salary” and “obligation” while choosing your job.

NON-MONETARY OBLIGATION

Obligation can be non-monetary too.

You may “promise” to do something – you give a “commitment” to someone – and you come under “moral obligation” to do the task you have promised/committed to do.

In your relationships – you can come under “emotional obligation” to do something for your loved ones, friends, colleagues and others.

So – you must be careful before you make “promises” and “commitments” – especially those you think will be difficult or laborious to keep.

“WORKING” WITHOUT OBLIGATION

Obligation is akin to “extrinsic motivation”.

“Working” without obligation emanates from “intrinsic motivation” – when you do something of your “free will” because you enjoy doing it.

Working under obligation can be stressful (because of the “obligation” to meet deadlines and deliver results).

Working without obligation is sheer enjoyment – in fact – “work without obligation” becomes “play”.

Let me give you an example.

From my early days in the Navy – because I have an academic bent of mind and have penchant for reading and writing – I was involved in various “intellectual” and “literary” activities – writing articles/research papers, editing in-house magazines/reports/special news supplements, compiling/collating reference documentation, organizing conferences/seminars, conducting training etc.

Then – I could not do as I pleased – I had to work within the framework under constraints and deadlines – because I was “obliged” to do so.

Now – after retirement – I enjoy my creative writing as I please – I am free to write what I want to, when I want to, where I want to – no deadlines – no constraints – no pressure to deliver.

Working without obligation is fun.

THE “TOM SAWYER TRAP”

You must be careful not to be “tricked” into obligation by bosses who will try to make drudgery appear enjoyable – and fool you by making “work” appear as “play”.

Daniel H. Pink, in his insightful book, “Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us,” describes the “Sawyer Effect”.

Pink defines the Sawyer Effect as “practices that can either turn play into work or turn work into play” – derived from an episode from Mark Twain’s book “The Adventures of Tom Sawyer” in which Tom Sawyer tricks his friends into painting a fence for him by convincing them painting a fence was a fun activity.

Many smart bosses use this “Sawyer Effect” to trick their subordinates by “convincing” them a laborious task is indeed fun.

The Military makes use of this “Tom Sawyer Trap” concept very effectively.

By using “pep talks” and jingoistic terms like “ josh ” – Military Training Academies use the “Sawyer Effect” to “motivate” Cadets into believing that tough physical tasks like combat training, parade drill, boxing and cross-country running are actually “fun”.

Various jingoistic motivating stratagems like “Regimental Spirit”, “Esprit De Corps” etc are used to whip up intrinsic motivation and morale.

Of course – this is fully justified in wartime when it is required to raise soldiers’ fervour to a fighting pitch.

Business and Corporate Organizations also justify the use of “Sawyer Effect” in order to extract “value for money” from their high-salaried employees.

But – as far as you are concerned – you must be careful that someone does not trap you into obligation by cleverly using the “Tom Sawyer Trap” against you – especially by playing with your emotions.

You can be trapped into obligation due to your financial, moral and emotional vulnerabilities.

I have seen many persons get trapped into social obligations since they allowed their emotional vulnerability to be exploited by the “Tom Sawyer Effect”.

I was trapped many times into taking up writing, teaching and training assignments which appeared to be “enjoyable” but turned out to be quite painful.

That is why I have stopped committing to doing “guest blogging”, editing, reviews etc – and I avoid teaching and training assignments which create a sense of obligation.

I like to keep busy – so I never sit idle – and I am always “working”.

But – I try my best to avoid any “work” where there is a sense of obligation.

Now – I want to “work” without obligation.

As I head towards the autumn of my life – my most precious commodity is “Time” – and – I do not wish to trade my time for anything else.

I want to be free to use my time as I want to – without any obligations.

“Work” without obligation is “Fun”

Yes – for me – “Work” is “Fun”

And – I want to have Fun.

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

1. This article is a spoof, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.

2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

     

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

 

This article was written by me one year ago in June 2015 and posted online by me in my Academic and Creative Writing Journal Blog at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/06/work-is-fun.html

Humor in Uniform – Books “in lieu of” Booze

Humor in Uniform 

“ IN LIEU OF ”

If you have served in the Defence Services – I am sure you have heard of the term “ in lieu of ” – which means “in place of” or “instead of”...

In the Navy we have – Money “in lieu of” Ration (MLR) – Compensation “in lieu of” Quarters (CILQ) – Travel Allowance “in lieu of” Transport (TA) etc

But – have you heard of Books “in lieu of” Booze...? 

Or – to put it in better language – Books “in lieu of” Liquor (Acronym: BILL)

Read on...

BOOKS “IN LIEU OF” BOOZE

Unforgettable Memories of my Navy Days

A Spoof

By

VIKRAM KARVE

This story happened long ago – 38 years ago – an unforgettable “memoir” from the best days of my life – my delightful Navy days – in the 1970’s.

We – a shipmate and me – were loafing around on a Sunday morning – browsing books at the pavement bookstalls around the Central Telegraph Office (CTO) near Hutatma Chowk (Flora Fountain) in Mumbai (Bombay).

I noticed my friend engrossed in a large size book – a regal looking tome – which looked like an encyclopedia.

“Look at this fabulous book,” my friend said, all excited, “it is an encyclopedia of ‘numismatics’ – it is fantastic – everything is here – the complete history of coins and currency – and details and pictures of rare coins…”

“Yes,” I said, “it seems to be a rare book.”

“I have been interested in ‘numismatics’ since my schooldays,” he said, “but I have never seen a book on numismatics like this one. There is a wealth of information in this encyclopedia.”

Now – as you must have guessed – my friend’s passionate hobby was ‘numismatics’ (the study of coins and medals) – he was an avid collector of rare coins and had an impressive collection.

Yes – those days – most naval officers had diverse hobbies – all sorts of activities ranging from outdoor pursuits like hiking, trekking, bird-watching, star-gazing, fishing etc – to the more prosaic indoor hobbies like philately and numismatics.

I saw how much my friend had liked the book – so I said to him: “Why don’t you buy the book...?”

“Yes,” he said, “I must buy this book.”

We asked the bookseller the price of the book.

The bookseller quoted an astronomical figure.

“Are you crazy?” I said to the bookseller, “yours is a pavement bookstall – and this is an old secondhand book – and you are quoting such a high price – which is even more than if this were a brand new book in a reputed bookstore...”

“Sir – this is a very rare book – a limited exclusive edition – see the prestigious foreign publisher – look at the date of publication – Sir – this book is long ‘out of print’ – you will not get this book anywhere...” the bookseller said.

“But the price is too high – you can surely give us some discount...” my friend said.

“Sorry, Sir – I cannot give you a discount on this book. Sir – you take it or leave it – but let me tell you – if you come tomorrow – you may not find this book here. An old gentleman showed interest in this book yesterday – he did not have the money – so he said that he may come today…” the bookseller said, driving a hard bargain.

We bargained and haggled – but the bookseller would not budge – he refused to reduce the price of the book.

Finally – I said to my friend, “If you have liked this book so much – why don’t you buy it...?”

“Look at the price of the book – it is almost half our monthly pay...” my friend said.

“Which whisky do you drink...?” I asked my shipmate.

“Whisky...? Have you gone crazy...?” my friend asked, taken aback, “What the hell has whisky got to do with this book on ‘numismatics’...?”

“Just tell me...” I said.

He told me his favourite brand of whisky.

“Now – you tell me – how many pegs of whisky do you drink every day...?” I asked him.

“3 – 4 – sometimes 5 large pegs…” he said.

“Okay – if you average it out – it works out to approximately 2 bottles of whisky a week…”

“Maybe...”

So let’s say you drink 2 bottles of whisky a week – that’s around 8 bottles a month…” I said.

“Not 8 – maybe 6 or 7 – I don’t drink every day,” he said.

“Okay – let’s say you drink 6 bottles of whisky a month – now you listen to me –don’t drink for 2 months and you will cover the cost of this book…” I said.

“What are you saying...?” he asked, looking confused.

“The price of this book is the same as around 10 bottles of whisky. You drink a minimum of 6 bottles of whisky a month – so that makes it 12 bottles every two months – and you can easily cover the cost of this book. So – you don’t drink for 2 months – or – if you cannot totally stop drinking – then drink one peg less every day till it adds up to 10 bottles – and you will cover the cost of this book…” I said.

“Are you off your rocker...? You are a really crazy guy – comparing booze and books…” my shipmate said.

“You smoke – don’t you? Tell me – which brand of cigarettes….?” I asked him.

“Enough…!!!” my shipmate interrupted me, looking exasperated.

But – he seemed to have been convinced by my logic.

He pulled out his wallet – and he bought the book.

NB:-

In case you are one of those “number crunching” types – here are some “facts and figures”:

1. Those days – in the 1970’s – the basic pay of a Navy Lieutenant (Army Captain/Air Force Flight Lieutenant) was Rs. 1100 per month.

2. In the Navy – a “peg” means a large peg (a “double”).

3. When this story happened – we were serving on board a ship – so I am talking of Duty Free Scotch Whisky. 

Today – if you are a civilian book lover – you can buy many good books in the cost of a bottle of Premium Scotch Whisky.

BOOKS “IN LIEU OF” LIQUOR  (“BILL”)

I spent my entire “working life” in the Navy – and – since I was an honest officer – I do not have much money – nor – do I have many assets.

The only “wealth” I have are my books – which I have collected since my college days – and later – I bought plenty of books when I was in the Navy.

Whenever I wanted to buy a book – I always calculated its cost in terms bottles of booze – and – in most cases – I bought the book.

Yes – when faced with a “Books versus Booze” dilemma – I always bought Books in lieu of Liquor.

I drank a lot – and – I read a lot.

All the booze I drank vanished from my system by the very next day.

But – I still have all the Books I bought “ in lieu of ” the Booze that I did not drink.

Today – in my home – I have plenty of books adorning my bookshelves – but you will not find even a single bottle of booze.

As I look at my collection of books – I think of all the bottles of whisky that I did not drink.

It’s true – isn’t it...?

You spend freely on momentary pleasures like food, drink, cigarettes, movies, holidays etc.

You splurge your money on transitory extravagant events like marriages, ceremonies, parties and such fleeting occasions.

You indulge “conspicuous consumption”.

But – you get stingy and tightfisted – when it comes to acquiring things of lasting value like books.

Cheers – Dear Reader !!!

The next time you see a good book – remember this story – and:

Skip the Booze – Buy the Book 

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

1. This story is a spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.

2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)

This is an updated, abridged and revised version of my blog post BOOZE AND BOOKS written by me Vikram Karve on 13 Feb 2015 and posted online earlier in my blog at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/02/booze-and-books.html  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/09/humor-in-uniform-skip-booze-buy-book.html