Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: memsahib

Showing posts with label memsahib. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

HUMOR IN UNIFORM - JOIN THE ARMY AND FIND A HUSBAND

HUMOUR IN UNIFORM

Military Matrimony – HOW TO FIND A HUSBAND

DO YOU WANT TO BE A “FAUJI MEMSAHIB”
A Spoof - Short Fiction Story - THE SMART YOUNG LADY ARMY OFFICER

VIKRAM KARVE

I written a story posted on my blog on 08 July 2013 titled LOOKING FOR A HUSBAND Musings on Career Women and Marriage Prospects which featured Two Stories - THE SMART YOUNG WOMAN and THE LADY ARMY OFFICER (url link: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/07/looking-for-husband-career-women-and.html )

On request of a reader, I am re-posting the second story THE LADY ARMY OFFICER below for you to read.

There may be many reasons why women join the army (navy and air force too).

This story highlights one reason - yes, one reason - but maybe it is the main reason why women join the army ...

So, Dear Reader, read on, have a laugh and think about it...

Disclaimer:

1. Please read this apocryphal story only if you have a sense of humor. This yarn is a spoof, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.

2. This story is for mature adults only, so if you are a kid, or an overly gender sensitive type, please skip this post.

3. This story is a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

JOIN THE ARMY AND FIND A HUSBAND – A Spoof by Vikram Karve

A few months ago I was invited to deliver a lecture at my erstwhile institution.

In the audience, comprising officers of the army, navy and air force, I noticed a familiar face.

She was wearing army uniform.

She was the only lady officer in the lecture hall.

“Hello,” I said to her, during the tea break, when she came to greet me, “what a pleasant surprise to see you in uniform. I did not know you had joined the army.”

“Yes Sir,” she said.

“Tell me, the last time we met, you were doing your computer engineering, weren’t you?”

“Yes Sir,” she said.

“I thought you would join some Software Firm, work in the IT Sector – or maybe go abroad for further studies. So I am really surprised. What are you doing here in the army?”

“I am looking for a husband, Sir,” she said.

I almost choked, and the teacup nearly fell out of my hands.

Seeing the expression on my face, she said, “Sir, I will be frank with you. I have no illusions about how I look. There is too much competition in the Software Sector. In an IT firm, where there are so many attractive “Techie” girls, do you think that any decent boy will give me a second look?”

“Don’t say that. You look pretty and you are a smart young woman.”

“Beauty is all relative, isn’t it? Out there in the IT Sector, almost 50% are girls, so many beauties – there is just too much competition. Here, in an army unit, I am the only girl. Sir, just look there – see the way all those male officers are eyeing me?”

I looked.

She was right.

She was indeed the centre of attraction.

Most of the male officers were looking at her with undisguised affection. Some drooled in anticipation.

I looked at her, smiled and said, “You have a point.”

“You see – here, in the army, I have no competition, and I can pick and choose,” she said impishly.

“So you joined the army for better marriage prospects?” I asked.

“Yes, Sir – that is exactly why I joined the army – to find a good husband. You are quite surprised, aren’t you?” she said.

“Yes, at first I was surprised. But now I can understand. Your logic seems perfectly rational to me,” I said.

For some time we sipped tea.

“So have you found anyone?” I asked, breaking the silence.

“Yes Sir – quite a few prospective grooms. Now I am shortlisting the candidates,” she said with a naughty smile on her face.

“It’s a good career move too – both husband and wife in the army,” I said.

“Sir, to be frank, I am not a career type of girl. In fact, I want to get married, have children and settle down to a life of cozy domesticity.”

“What?” I asked, surprised.

“Yes, Sir. Once I get married, I will quit the army the moment my tenure is over,” she said.

“You want to quit the army once you find a husband? So you joined the army just to find a husband?” I asked in amazement.

“Tell me sir, what can be better than being the wife of an army officer?”

“You do have a point there. Being an army officer may be tough. But an army memsahib really enjoys a good life,” I said.

“I always dreamt of being a fauji memsahib and living a good life – I love the ambience of the cool tranquil cantonments, the clubs, the parties, the social life, so many perks, and, most importantly, the batmen and sahayaks to do all your work,” she said matter-of-factly.

“Ah – batmen and sahayaks – so that’s why you did not join the navy.”

“Maybe,” she said tongue-in-cheek, “but there is one more reason.”

“What?”

“The competition is much tougher in the navy – there are so many women officers are in one place – and besides, you have to compete with the chic and savvy beauties in Mumbai – well, male naval officers have so much to choose from, and, frankly, I knew that with my looks, I just won’t stand a chance,” she said candidly.

Then she looked mischievously at me, gestured with her eyes at all the young male army officers ogling hungrily at her, and she said, “Sir, look at all those desperate fauji officers. Almost every guy is looking at me, waiting for me to give them the slightest cue. Here, in the army, it is me who can pick and choose, isn’t it? As they say, I can have the pick of the litter!”

I laughed.

She laughed.

We laughed together.

Everyone was looking at us.

It was quite embarrassing.

Mercifully, the tea break was over, and we all went in for the remaining part of my lecture.

DO YOU WANT TO BE A “FAUJI MEMSAHIB” ?

Later, while driving home, I thought about it.

There was a ring of truth in what the smart young lady army officer had said.

Most women army officers seem inclined to marry their male colleagues (so-called “brother officers” in service parlance).

There are so many “in-service” marriages – it happens in the army, and I have seen such “incestuous” relationships between “brother officers” and “sister officers” happening in the navy and air force too, where erstwhile “sister officers” metamorphose into memsahibs.

Yes, in the army, today’s “sister officers” stand a good chance of becoming tomorrow’s memsahibs.

Maybe the army can coin new recruitment slogans for attracting young women into the army like:

“ Join the Army for Better Marriage Prospects ”

“ Join the Army and Find a Husband ”

or maybe an even better slogan

“ THE EASIEST WAY TO BECOME AN ARMY MEMSAHIB - JOIN THE ARMY ”

VIKRAM KARVE

Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.

Disclaimer:

All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Did you like this story?

I am sure you will like the 27 short stories from my recently published anthology of Short Fiction COCKTAIL
To order your COCKTAIL please click any of the links below:
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http://www.apkpublishers.com/books/short-stories/cocktail-by-vikram-karve.html

COCKTAIL ebook

If you prefer reading ebooks on Kindle or your ebook reader, please order Cocktail E-book by clicking the links below:
AMAZON
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925

Foodie Book: Appetite for a Stroll
If your are a Foodie you will like my book of Food Adventures APPETITE FOR A STROLL. Do order a copy from FLIPKART:
http://www.flipkart.com/appetite-stroll-vikram-karve/8190690094-gw23f9mr2o

About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer and blogger. Educated at IIT Delhi, IIT (BHU) Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and an anthology of short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories and creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional and academic research papers in journals and edited in-house journals and magazines for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing and blogging. Vikram Karve lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramkarve@hotmail.com

Twitter: @vikramwkarve

First posted on my blog on 08 July 2013 titled LOOKING FOR A HUSBAND Musings on Career Women and Marriage Prospects which featured Two Stories - THE SMART YOUNG WOMAN and THE LADY ARMY OFFICER (url link: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/07/looking-for-husband-career-women-and.html )

Thursday, November 28, 2013

FAUJI MEMSAHIBS - THE CHANGING FACE OF THE MILITARY WIFE

HUMOR IN UNIFORM

FAUJI MEMSAHIBS

THE CHANGING FACE OF THE MILITARY WIFE (Then and Now)

Do Wives Still Matter in the Army, the Navy and Air Force?

Incoherent Ramblings of a Retired Mind

VIKRAM KARVE

Disclaimer:

1. Please read this story only if you have a sense of humour. This is a spoof, a yarn, just for a laugh, no offence meant to anyone, so please take it with a pinch of salt.

2. This story is a work of fiction. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

IS A MILITARY WIFE AN “ASSET” TO HER HUSBAND’S CAREER PROSPECTS?

We were all sitting in the wardroom discussing the recently arrived flag rank promotion signal.

It was a big surprise.

There was a Captain who we all admired.

He was a true Sea Dog who was universally acknowledged as an outstanding professional.

We were shocked to hear that this highly respected officer had been passed over for promotion to Rear Admiral.

And what was worse – a non-descript “armchair sailor” who had spent most of his time pushing files ashore had been promoted.

The quirk of fate was being hotly debated with emotions being fuelled by the intake of generous amounts of whisky.

“Never go to sea if you want to get promoted,” an officer said.

“What bloody injustice! They ignore a smart deserving officer and promote that stupid clueless dolt. Have you seen him?” another angry officer said loudly in disgust.

“Have you seen his wife?” a voice was heard, from a dark corner of the wardroom.

I know what you are thinking.

You are probably imagining that she was a promiscuous sex bomb sleeping around and distributing sexual favours to get her husband promoted.

We thought the same thing too.

But a few days later, when we met the lady, we were in for a big surprise.

She was a most elegant, genteel, gracious and charming lady – an epitome of grace and poise.

She treated us with utmost courtesy and we were enchanted by her refinement, her polished manner and her dignified personality.

She was an embodiment of an ideal naval wife.

We normally say in naval jargon – ‘this sailor is an “asset” to the ship’.

In a similar way, this wife was an “asset” to her husband’s career prospects.

She embodied the saying: “Behind every successful man is a woman”.

We realized that, sometimes, wives do matter.

Of course, someone told me that wives matter more in the Army than in the Navy.

That a lifelong confirmed bachelor could become a Navy Chief (and many single officers rose to high naval rank) bears testimony to the fact that, at least in the navy, wives did not matter that much as far as an officer’s career prospects were concerned.

But my late father-in-law who was an army officer from the prestigious first course of the National Defence Academy (NDA) (or 1^st JSW – as he liked to call it) once told me that one of his most distinguished coursemates, who was a true professional army officer, and who had won medals for valour in war, could not make it to the top, probably because he was a bachelor.

It appears that, in earlier days, as far as wives were concerned, there was a big difference between the navy and the army.

I really do not know whether things have changed now.

DO WIVES STILL MATTER IN THE MILITARY (ARMY NAVY AIR FORCE)?

When you join the navy as a carefree bachelor, you don’t care, or you don’t even know, about these intricacies.

At least, in the 1970’s, when we were young officers on board ships, wives did not matter much.

Those days most of us were bachelors, and we were so busy sailing, that we hardly knew the wives of married officers.

Yes, if you were on board a ship, wives did not matter – what mattered most is how well you did your job.

I am sure it is the same in field jobs in the army and flying duties in the air force.

Wives start gaining importance in “peacetime soldiering” where professionalism takes a back seat and other aspects start predominating.

As we grew senior we gradually realised that wives did matter, especially in shore appointments and tri-service establishments, where there was more social interaction.

Please don’t misunderstand me.

I am not saying that your career prospects depended upon your wife’s attributes.

Far from it.

You had to be good in your job and deliver the goods.

Let me put it this way.

Other things being equal, the officer with a “better” wife did stand a better chance of getting a good ACR.

Like beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, the term “better” was highly subjective too and depended on how you (and your wife) were perceived by your boss (and the “first lady”).

I think things must have changed now.

Nowadays, most navy wives pursue their own careers (it must be the same with most military wives too).

These modern career women, the “new age” military wives, have an identity of their own, distinct from their husband’s identity.

They do not require the crutches of their husband’s rank for giving them status.

In fact, many military wives earn more money than their fauji husbands and many wives have better career prospects too.

Long back, for the traditional homemaker military wife, her husband’s career was the “be all and end all” of her life and all her efforts were towards boosting her husband’s career prospects.

Now, for a career woman married to a military officer, it may no longer be so, as the wife has her own career ambitions.

Traditional equations have changed, and these modern career women may not be willing to kowtow before the so-called “senior ladies”.

An old sea dog once said: “There is nothing like “senior lady” in the navy. Yes, there are ladies who are wives of senior officers and that’s it!”

As far the world of military wives is concerned, another interesting thing has happened.

In the 1990’s the defence forces opened their doors to women.

The advent of women into the hitherto aggressively male world of the military has changed things drastically.

The opportunity for workplace intimacy within the cocooned military environment made it easy for male and female officers to fall in love with each other and have intimate relationships.

The result of these “office romances” was that many men and women officers get married to each other.

Now, we have a new kind of “fauji” wife – the “uniformed memsahib”.

THE CHANGING FACE OF THE MILITARY WIFE

Look how things have changed.

1. First, we had the “full time” military wife whose only identity was her husband’s rank.

2. Then, we had the working “career woman” military wife who had her own separate identity which had nothing to do with her husband’s military rank.

3. And now we have the “uniformed memsahib” who has a military rank of her own (and if she prefers, she can flaunt her husband’s rank too).

ROLE AMBIGUITY OF THE UNIFORMED MEMSAHIB

As far as the “uniformed memsahib” is concerned, is there a confusing role ambiguity?

What is her relationship with the so-called “senior ladies”?

If you go by actual facts, the official status of a woman officer is higher than that of a “senior lady” whose only claim to fame is her husband’s military rank.

Does the “uniformed memsahib” attend AWWA and NWWA meets?

You may not believe this, but these wives welfare organisations, AWWA, NWWA and AFWWA, have a rather “feudal” hierarchy where a wife’s “appointment” depends on husband’s rank.

What happens when a young lady army officer (say, a Captain) gets married to her boss, a Lieutenant Colonel, who is commanding the unit?

Does she become the “first lady” or does remain an ordinary officer serving in that unit?

Like I said, is there a confusing role ambiguity when a female officer gets married to a male officer and becomes a “uniformed memsahib”?

I do not think it is true, but someone once told me long back that he had heard that a lady officer was appointed as an “ADC” to a Senior Officer’s Wife in her capacity as President of the Wives Welfare Association.

I do not believe this, but if such things are happening, it is indeed shocking, and in such cases the women officers have themselves to blame for not maintaining the dignity of their rank.

The moot question remains:

In the “new age” military (army navy air force) – do wives still matter ?

VIKRAM KARVE

Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.

Disclaimer:

All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Did you like this story?

COCKTAIL ebook

If you prefer reading ebooks on Kindle or your ebook reader, please order Cocktail E-book by clicking the links below:
AMAZON
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925

Foodie Book: Appetite for a Stroll
If your are a Foodie I am sure that you will like my book of Food Adventures APPETITE FOR A STROLL. Do order a copy from FLIPKART:
http://www.flipkart.com/appetite-stroll-vikram-karve/8190690094-gw23f9mr2o

About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer and blogger. Educated at IIT Delhi, IIT (BHU) Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and an anthology of short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories and creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional and academic research papers in journals and edited in-house journals and magazines for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing and blogging. Vikram Karve lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramkarve@hotmail.com

Twitter: @vikramkarve

Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

HUMOR IN UNIFORM - JOIN THE ARMY AND FIND A HUSBAND

Thursday, November 28, 2013

FAUJI MEMSAHIBS - THE CHANGING FACE OF THE MILITARY WIFE

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