Saturday, December 31, 2011

Say Bye Bye to 2011 with a Smile in Your Heart and a Laugh on your Lips


Here is my last post of 2011 to say Bye Bye to this lovely year gone by - a story which will bring a Smile in Your Heart and a Laugh on your Lips

A man got terribly drunk at the New Year's Eve Party. 

Then, after ushering in the New Year, after the stroke of midnight, the drunkard was lurching, his body swaying and staggering, as he walked unsteadily on a deserted road when a vicious looking dog started barking menacingly at him. 

The drunkard bent down to pick up a stone fixed as a road divider to throw at the ferocious dog. 

He could not lift it as the road divider stone was firmly cemented to the earth.

“What a strange place this is,” the drunkard cried in bewilderment, “They tie up the stones and let the dogs go free.”

CHEERS...!!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR
VIKRAM KARVE

HOW TO SELECT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE RIGHT JOB


A friend of mine sent me this by email. Let me share it with you.

HOW TO SELECT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE RIGHT JOB 

Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open window.  

Then send 3 candidates in the room and close the door.  Let them be undisturbed in the room for about 3 hours and then go back into the room and analyze the situation. 


If they are counting the Bricks, put them in the Accounts Department.

If they are recounting them, put them in Auditing.

If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks, put them in Engineering. 

If they are arranging the Bricks in some strange order, put them in Planning.

If they are throwing the Bricks at each other, put them in Operations.

If they are sleeping, put them in Security.

If they have broken the bricks into pieces, put them in MIS / Information Technology.

If they are sitting idle, put them in HR.

If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has been moved, put them in Sales. 

If they have already left for the day, put them in Marketing.

If they are staring out of the open window, put them in Strategic Planning.

If they have thrown all the bricks out the window, put them in Business Process Re-engineering.

And then last but not least, if they are gossiping with each other and not a single brick has been moved, congratulate them and put them in Top Management.

Have a laugh and a Happy New Year

HAPPINESS MANTRA FOR THE HAPPY NEW YEAR 2012


Everyone wishes you a HAPPY New Year. But do they tell you how to be Happy in the New Year?

So let me tell you How to be Happy in the New Year and wish you all, Dear Readers, a very Happy New Year. 

Read on - My Happiness Mantra for the New Year 2012 - and tell me if it works.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2012 HAPPINESS MANTRA
By
VIKRAM KARVE

I have a pet dog. Her name is Sherry. She is always very lively, agile and sprightly – always full of beans – and she is always cheerful, jolly and happy. 

Sherry is my true friend, philosopher and guide – she has taught me the art of living one’s life to the fullest. 

As I said, Sherry is always happy. I think she has mastered the art of happiness. 
 
This is what I have learnt from Sherry on how to be happy.  
 
Here is her Happiness Mantra.
 
If you want to be happy do these four things: 
 
1. Try to be in the company of people who make you happy
 
2. Be in places which make you happy
 
3. Do things that make you happy
 
4. Live your life in such a way that your happiness in dependent on things within your own control to the maximum extent possible. 
 
Long back, sometime in the 1960’s, when I was a small boy, my father took me to visit Belur Math, and there I acquired a tiny pocket book called “Thus Spake Vivekananda”.

Whenever the chips were down, or I felt dejected, I referred to the inspiring gems of wisdom, distilled from the complete works of Swami Vivekanada, for instant motivation and strength.

Here’s one of those gems of wisdom, a phrase from the sayings of Swami Vivekananda -
 
Anything that makes you weak physically, intellectually, and spiritually, reject as poison
 
I feel that the word “weak” is all encompassing and embraces anything that creates in you a stressful situation like all negative emotions and feelings like anger, irritation, infuriation, frustration, despondency, depression, demoralization, unhappiness – anything that disturbs your inner tranquility and equanimity, drains you emotionally and intellectually, besides literal physical weakness.

Oh yes, unhappiness is weakness, unhappiness is Poison 
 
Now sit down in a quiet tranquil place, close your eyes, introspect, and try to think of all the things that make you feel negative – all your unhappiness-creators and unhappy situations.

These unhappiness creators can be anything, for example:

Toxic and incompatible persons, who irritate, annoy and hassle you, 
Foods and beverages (like Alcohol) which don’t suit you and are physically detrimental to your health and well-being, 
Activities, social and personal, which may appear pleasurable, but which actually drain you out, 
Technology and Gadgets, like your cell-phone, which disturb your peace of mind, and 
Strained Relationships, which are a source of unhappiness and cause stress in you,
Things that cause a guilty conscience in you,
Anything stressful and things which are a stimulus for negative emotions like anger, worry, fear, etc

Close your eyes, introspect and think...about all the persons and things that generate negative vibes, stress and unhappiness in you or make you feel “weak”. Then, follow Swami Vivekananda's advice: Anything that makes you weak physically, intellectually, and spiritually, reject as poison. 

Yes, do it in actual life...

Make an exhaustive list of all the things that make you “weak” and try to reject them as “poison”.  
 
At first you may be a bit sceptical about this approach, but when you start implementing, you’ll be surprised how much it is in your own control to prevent unhappiness.

While you reject the things that make you "weak" and unhappy, you must also reinforce the things that make you feel "strong" and happy.  

Yes, if unhappiness is "weakness", happiness is "strength".
 
So simultaneously, reflect and contemplate, and make a list of things which give you strength and joy, make you happy and productive – all the things and people that create positive feelings in you – and try to devote as much time and energy to doing these positive things that give you strength and make you feel good and happy.  
 
In a nutshell, try your best to generate happiness vibes by doing things which make you happy and try to reduce or even eliminate negative unhappiness vibes by "rejecting" things which you know will make you "weak" and unhappy. It is very easy - do try it.

This unhappiness prevention technique (Happiness Mantra) works for me, and I am sure it will work for you too. It is very effective, probably because it is so breathtaking in its simplicity. Do tell us how it worked for you.

Dear Reader: Make this your New Year Resolution - to have a really Happy New Year. May this Happiness Mantra give you all the Happiness in the New Year 2012. 

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 2011
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.


Did you like this story?
I am sure you will like the stories in my recently published book COCKTAIL comprising twenty seven short stories about relationships. To order the book please click the links below:
http://www.flipkart.com/cocktail-vikram-karve-short-stories-book-8191091844?affid=nme
http://www.indiaplaza.in/cocktail-vikram-karve/books/9788191091847.htm
http://www.apkpublishers.com/books/short-stories/cocktail-by-vikram-karve.html

COCKTAIL ebook
If you prefer reading ebooks on Kindle or your ebook reader, please order Cocktail E-book by clicking the link below:
AMAZON
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925

About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer. Educated at IIT Delhi, ITBHU Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and he is currently working on his novel. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories and creative non-fiction articles in magazines and journals for many years before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for almost 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing. Vikram lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts. 


Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramkarve@sify.com        

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
  



Friday, December 30, 2011

WORRY - My Favourite Short Stories Part 81


My Favourite Short Stories Part 81
WORRY
By
VIKRAM KARVE


“I am worried,” she said.

“Worried…? About what…?” I asked.

“Marriage…”

“Marriage…? What marriage…? Whose marriage…?”

“My marriage, you stupid...” she admonished me.

“Your marriage…? But you are not getting married…!”

“That’s what I am worried about – why am I not getting married – I may never get married…”

“Of course you will get married…”

“Really…you think so…”

“Of course I think so…you are the most eligible girl…so beautiful…so talented…so educated…the best boys will queue up for your hand…”

She did get married.

Yes, she got married at the right time, to the best boy…but not before a few she subjected me to a few onslaughts of her terrible spells of worry.

Like just before her engagement ceremony she took me aside and said, “I am worried…”

“Not now…!” I admonished.

“Don’t talk to me like that…you are the only one…”

“Okay, okay, tell me…”

“Do you really think we are compatible…?”

“Of course you are compatible…in fact you two are made for each other and your marriage will be a big success…” I assured her.

“Will he let me work after marriage…?”

“Of course, he will let you work…didn’t you both discuss it the other day…”

“Yes, but I am worried that in the heart of his heart he doesn’t want me to work. ”

“I spoke to your fiancé. I asked him very clearly. He wants you to work and have a successful career…” I lied.

“Really…?”

“Yes...”

She had a flourishing marriage and a highly successful career but that did not stop her from bombarding me with her salvoes, fits and spells of worry whenever we met from time to time.

“I am worried. Will I have children?”

She had two – a boy and a girl.

“I am worried about my kids. What will they do in life? It is so difficult, there is so much competition.”

Both her children did very well. Her son got into IIT, then IIM, and got a very good job in an MNC. Her daughter got into AIIMS, became a doctor, specialized in Gynaecology, and was working in a leading hospital, but her blitzkrieg of worries continued unabated.

“I am worried.”

“Now what?”

“My children’s marriage, you fool. Will my son get a good girl, will she get along with me? My daughter….?”

Both her son and daughter got the best of spouses who got along very well with their in-laws. In fact, her daughter-in-law doted on her and they stayed together as a happy joint family and her daughter who had married a colleague doctor lived nearby and visited her almost every day.

“I am worried.”

“Now what?”

“My daughter – her pregnancy – will her delivery be okay?”

“Come on, both she and her husband are the best gynaecologists in town. Surely there is no reason to worry.”

Her daughter had a very smooth pregnancy and delivered a bonny boy. So did her daughter-in-law.”

It seemed to be the end of her worries. She and her husband were well off, had a beautiful house in the posh area of the city, enjoyed the best of health and were looking forward to a satisfying retired life. They were blessed with grandchildren and gave the impression of one happy family. I envied her, she had everything in the world, she was really lucky. Now, there was absolutely no reason for her to worry.

Worry Amma, as I called her, came into my life when I was a small boy studying in the third standard. She was our newly arrived neighbour’s daughter, my new classmate, and I was supposed to “guide” her and “look after her” especially as we travelled to school and back in the public bus (there were no school buses those days). But most of the time it was she who was looking after me and making my life miserable with her constant worrying.

She was always worried – will the bus come on time, will she be late for assembly, will she do well in her exams, her homework, later, how she looked, her crushes, everything. I was her sounding board who she bombarded with her worries. That’s why I secretly called her “Worry Amma.”

She did very well at studies, and so did I, and I thought she, like other girls would study arts, but to my horror she too joined the same IIT as I did and made my life miserable with her worries for the next five years. And then, try as I did, I could not escape her salvoes of worry whenever we met. In fact I seemed to have got so used to her that I missed her whenever we did not meet for some time, like now, I had not met her for over a month as she had gone on a holiday abroad with her husband and entire family.

“Hi, all alone?” Worry Amma accosted me as I was enjoying my SPDP at Vaishali. She did not ask if she could join me – she just pulled a chair and sat opposite me.

“I am worried,” she said.

“Now what? Are you worried that you have nothing to be worried about?” I joked.

“I am worried about you.”

“Me?” I gasped, choking on the food in my mouth.

“Yes. You. I am really worried about you. Look at you. Living all alone. Eating all this junk food. Nobody to look after you. I am really worried about you. But don’t worry, I will find you a nice wife.”

Now, I am worried.


VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 2011
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.


Did you like this story?
I am sure you will like the stories in my recently published book COCKTAIL comprising twenty seven short stories about relationships. To order the book please click the links below:
http://www.flipkart.com/cocktail-vikram-karve-short-stories-book-8191091844?affid=nme
http://www.indiaplaza.in/cocktail-vikram-karve/books/9788191091847.htm
http://www.apkpublishers.com/books/short-stories/cocktail-by-vikram-karve.html

COCKTAIL ebook
If you prefer reading ebooks on Kindle or your ebook reader, please order Cocktail E-book by clicking the link below:
AMAZON
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925

About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer. Educated at IIT Delhi, ITBHU Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and he is currently working on his novel. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories and creative non-fiction articles in magazines and journals for many years before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for almost 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing. Vikram lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts. 


Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramkarve@sify.com        

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
  

DOOMSDAY - THE END OF THE WORLD


THE END OF THE WORLD
A Mulla Nasrudin Story for those who worry too much about the future
By 
VIKRAM KARVE

Do you worry too much about the future…?

Do you plan every aspect of your life in meticulous detail…?

Then, maybe it is apt for you to read this famous Mulla Nasrudin story which exemplifies a simple philosophical approach to life: 


An eminent group of academicians and scientists of all specialisations who were passing by Mulla Nasrudin’s town had heard about his fame as the “wise philosopher” so they decided to meet him. 

They sought an appointment with the great Mulla Nasrudin and he asked them to meet him at midnight, so at the stroke of the midnight hour  they all  came to Mulla Nasrudin and said: “We have been travelling all over the world interacting with experts, researching, calculating and even contemplating for years trying to determine when the world will come to an end. Yet we still have not found out the answer. Tell us, Mulla Nasrudin, do you know when the end of the world will be…?”

Nasrudin coolly answered: “Of course I know… in fact I have known that information for a long time….”

“What…? You know the answer…?” the dumbfounded scientists, academicians and specialists exclaimed and asked Nasrudin, “Are you sure…? Have you have really calculated when it will be the end of the world…?”

 “Of course, Nasrudin said nonchalantly, “I know the precise moment when the world will come to an end.”

“Really…?” the astounded group of experts said incredulously, and then they all pleaded with Nasrudin, “Please tell us when the world will come to an end… please tell us… please share your knowledge with us…”

“Okay…I will tell you… the end of the world will be exactly when I die… yes, the moment I die, at that precise moment will be the end of the world,” Mulla Nasrudin said confidently.

“When you die…? The end of the world will be the exact moment when you die…? Are you sure…? Are you certain that will be the end of the world…?” the bewildered scientists, academicians and specialists asked Mulla Nasrudin.

“Yes… The end of the world will be the moment I die – certainly for me it will be the end of the world…” Nasrudin said with finality, and briskly walked away.


Moral of the Story: It is best to live one day at a time (in day-tight compartments).

So, Dear Reader: Whenever you start worrying about the distant future and are tempted to make long term plans just remember this Mulla Nasrudin story.

By the way, I recently told this story to a person who was trying to sell me a Life Insurance Policy. 

Wish You a Happy New Year.

VIKRAM KARVE 
Copyright © Vikram Karve 2011
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Did you like this article?
I am sure you will like the 27 fiction short stories from my recently published anthology of Short Fiction COCKTAIL 

To order your COCKTAIL please click any of the links below:
http://www.flipkart.com/cocktail-vikram-karve-short-stories-book-8191091844?affid=nme
http://www.indiaplaza.in/cocktail-vikram-karve/books/9788191091847.htm
http://www.apkpublishers.com/books/short-stories/cocktail-by-vikram-karve.html


COCKTAIL ebook
If you prefer reading ebooks on Kindle or your ebook reader, please order Cocktail E-book by clicking the links below:
AMAZON
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925

Foodie Book:  Appetite for a Stroll
If your are a Foodie you will like my book of Food Adventures APPETITE FOR A STROLL. Do order a copy from FLIPKART:
http://www.flipkart.com/appetite-stroll-vikram-karve/8190690094-gw23f9mr2o

About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer. Educated at IIT Delhi, ITBHU Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories, creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional research papers in journals and edited in-house journals for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for almost 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing. Vikram lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramkarve@sify.com
vikramkarve@gmail.com

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.