Phony

Short Fiction

PHONY

Short Story

By

VIKRAM KARVE

 

____

PROLOGUE

____

Dear Reader – you must have heard the word “phony” (also spelt “phoney”)

Well – “phony” is the American Spelling whereas “phoney” is the British Spelling.

I will use the American Spelling “phony” in this story.

“Phony” means “counterfeit” or “fake” or “bogus” etc.

When used in the context of a person – he is a “phony” – it means that the person is a “charlatan” – a “fraudster” – an “impostor” – a “swindler” – a “trickster” – a “cheat” etc.

In a milder connotation – it may mean that the person is devious, duplicitous, hypocritical, dishonest, pretentious, insincere etc. – a person who is not genuine.

____

STORY

____

“He is such a “phony”…” that was the WhatsApp Message she had sent to her friend from her Smartphone.

Obviously – she was referring to me – since – I was sitting with her in the Coffee Shop for around 30 minutes – and – she had sent the message just a few seconds ago.

I was stunned on reading this.
I recovered my wits – and with my smartphone – I clicked a picture of her WhatsApp Chat with her friend – which contained her message: “He is such a phony…”

Then – I put her smartphone on the table at the same place – and – I waited for her to come back from the washroom.

____

Dear Reader – before you brand me as a “phony” for clandestinely looking at the WhatsApp chats on her smartphone – please hear me out.

This is what happened.

I was “seeing” a girl for marriage – an “arranged marriage date” – in a coffee shop.

The girl’s name was Nisha.

We talked for around half an hour.

It was a wonderful conversation.

I liked her – and – it seemed – she liked me too.

As we sat opposite each other and talked – I noticed one thing about her.

She seemed quite obsessed with her smartphone.

From time to time – she would pick up her smartphone – look at the screen – key in some text quickly – and – keep the smartphone down.

She did this deftly – without interrupting our conversation.

It seemed she was chatting on WhatsApp with someone.

The second round of coffee arrived.

Unfortunately – the waiter slipped and spilled the mug of coffee on her dress.

“Oh My God…” she said, “my dress is ruined…”

“I am very sorry…” the waiter apologized.

“It’s okay…” she said to the waiter.

Nisha looked at me and said: “I’ll quickly go to the washroom and try to wash off the coffee stains before the stains become dark…”

She went in a hurry – she left her purse on the chair – and she forgot her smartphone on the table.

I know it is most unethical to look at someone else’s smartphone – and snoop into their WhatsApp conversations – but – I was most curious to know with whom she was chatting while she was talking to me.

So – curiosity prevailed over ethics – and – I picked up Nisha’s smartphone and looked at the screen.

Her WhatsApp Chat was open.

____

(Normally – most smartphones have a default screen timeout of 30 seconds – and – the screen goes to sleep of you don’t interact with it for 30 seconds. Of course – if you keep interacting or looking at the screen – then – the screen remains on. And – 30 seconds hadn’t passed – since I had picked up her smartphone immediately after she left for the washroom)

____

I was shocked to see the chat Nisha was having with a friend called Monika.

It was clear that they were talking about me – the “Boy” she was meeting at the Coffee Shop for the “arranged marriage date”.

“How is the guy…?” Monika had asked.

“He is such a “phony”…!!!” Nisha had replied.

____

Dear Reader – words cannot describe the emotion I felt on reading this.

What had I done that this girl Nisha had concluded that I was “phony”…?

It was baffling and I felt terrible.

____

I quickly recovered my wits – and with my smartphone – I clicked a picture of Nisha’s WhatsApp Chat with her friend Monika – which contained her message: “He is such a phony…”

Then – I put her smartphone on the table at the same place – and – I waited for her to come back from the washroom.

When Nisha returned from the washroom – she seemed very upset.

“My dress is permanently ruined…” she said, “I don’t know if these coffee stains will go away…”

“They will go away…” I said, “just wash them away with some strong detergent…”

____

I thought to myself: “The coffee stains would go away quite quickly – but the “stain” she had created in my heart would take a long time to go away…”

____

I looked at Nisha – she seemed quite upset about her dress.

“Would you like to go home…?” I asked her.

“Yes, please – if you don’t mind…” she said.

“I’ll drop you…” I said to her.

“No. No. – I’ll walk down – my house is very near from here…” she said, “Thank you for the coffee…”

With these words – Nisha smiled at me and then walked towards the entrance of the coffee shop – and soon – she disappeared from sight.

____

I sat in the coffee shop for a long time – contemplating.

Why did she get the impression that I was “phony”…?

And that too – after meeting me for just 30 minutes.

I thought that I was a most genuine, sincere and upright person.

What had I said or done that she thought I was “phony”…?

_____

I thought about it – from the marriage point of view.

The girl – Nisha – my prospective wife – she thought that I was “phony”.

Whether I am “phony” or not – it doesn’t matter.

What matters is that she thinks that I am “phony”.

And – what matters even more is that I know that she thinks that I am “phony”.

_____

“Did you like the girl…?” my parents asked me when I reached home around two hours later.

“No…” I said, “I don’t want to marry this girl…”

“Why…? What’s wrong with her…? We thought she is a suitable match for you – and she is from such a good family…” they said to me.

“She is not suitable for me…” I said, “Or rather – I am not suitable for her – I think she didn’t like me…”

“That’s surprising…” my parents said, “the girl’s mother called a few minutes ago and she said that her daughter had liked you…”

“What…? The girl said that she had liked me…?” I said – surprised.

“Yes – the girl has liked you – they even wanted to fix the date for the wedding…” my parents said.

“Well – I don’t want to marry this girl…” I said to my parents, “you tell them – and – let’s close this topic – no more discussion…”
My parents seemed disappointed.

But – I had made my decision not to marry Nisha.

_____

I wondered to myself:

“If Nisha thought I was “phony” – why did she want to marry me…?”

_____

MOOT QUESTIONS

_____

Tell me Dear Reader:

1. How can I live my entire life with a woman knowing that she thinks that I am “phony”…?

2. Even worse – how can a girl marry a man who she thinks is “phony”…?

3. If we get married – won’t the marriage be “phony”…?

_____ 

VIKRAM KARVE 

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work. 
© vikram karve., all rights reserved. 

Disclaimer:

1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.

2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

3. E&OE

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Virtue and Vice

“VIRTUE” and “VICE”

Story

By

VIKRAM KARVE

_____

PART 1

_____

“Do you drink…?” she asked me.

“Yes…” I said to her.

“You will have to quit drinking if you want to marry me…” she said.

“Quit Drinking…?” I asked her, curious.

“I don’t want a husband who drinks alcohol…” she said to me, “my husband must be strict teetotaller…”

I thought about it.

I had really liked the girl – she was beautiful, well-educated, and from a good family – she was elegant, smart and graceful – I felt attracted towards her.

In fact – she was exactly the type of wife I had wanted.

I wanted to marry her.

On the other hand – I loved having a drink too.

So – I decided to see if I could convince her to soften her stance.

“Well – I am not a drunkard or alcoholic – but – I do enjoy drinking once in a while…” I said to her.

“Well – you will have to give up drinking completely…” she said.

“I feel you should be a bit flexible…” I said to her.

“No – it is non-negotiable – I don’t want a husband who has the vice of drinking…” she said – in a rather imperative tone of voice.

“Isn’t that being a bit too harsh…?” I said to her, “in today’s world – drinking can hardly be called a “vice”…!”

She looked at me and spoke.

“Drinking alcohol is a “major vice”…!!! If you want to marry me – you will have to quit drinking totally – I will not allow you to drink even a drop of alcohol…” she said to me – in a rather imperative tone of voice.

“Please…” I tried to reason with her, “you need not be so rigid…”

But – she interrupted me quite rudely.

“It is quite clear to me that drinking alcohol is more important to you than marrying me. So – in that case – I don’t think it is possible for me to marry you…” she said to me in a firm tone of finality.

And so – that was the end of the marriage proposal.

_____

Dear Reader – I forgot to tell you the name of the girl – her name was Nisha – yes – her name was “Nisha”.

 

_____

10 Years Later

_____

PART 2

_____  

I met Nisha 10 years later at a most unexpected place.

I was shocked when I saw her face.

She looked terrible – totally haggard – as if she had suffered a serious bout of illness.

All her beauty and youthful looks had gone – her face looked harrowed and fatigued – and she looked old – as if she had aged at least 20 years in the 10 years that had gone by.

I smiled at her.

She gave me a reluctant smile – her lips flaccid – her skin sagged – there were ugly bags under her eyes – and her eyes looked weary – almost lifeless.

I was mentally shaken by the metamorphosis in her appearance – she looked sickly and burned-out – a sad sight.

It was evident that Nisha didn’t want to speak to me – because she walked away – without speaking to me.

My friend came out of his clinic – and he called me inside.

He was my school classmate – and we were meeting for the first time after leaving school – around 20 years ago.

A few months ago – we had met on a flight to Mumbai from Istanbul – where I had signed off from my ship – and he was returning from a holiday in Europe.

He was a psychiatrist now – and – I promised to meet him in case I visited his town.

“That woman who came out of your clinic a few minutes ago – is her name Nisha…?” I asked him.

“Yes…” I said, “she refused to marry me because she wanted a husband who did not drink – she wanted a strict teetotaller husband who did not touch alcohol…”

“Oh…” my friend said, “poor thing – she is in bad shape…”

“Poor thing…? Bad shape…?” I said, curious.

“She was married to a wealthy businessman. Sadly - her husband had a gambling addiction…” he said.

“Gambling Addiction…?” I asked him.

“Yes – he was totally addicted to gambling – pathological gambling – it’s an impulse-control disorder…” my psychiatric friend said.

“So – what happened…?” I asked my friend.

“He was a compulsive gambler – he gambled his money on almost anything and everything – he speculated in stocks – day trading – futures and options – he used to do heavy betting – legal and illegal – from horse racing to cricket matches – all sorts of “satta bazaar” – card games – you name it – and he gambled money on it…” my friend said.

“And – his wife didn’t come to know…?” I asked.

Gambling Addiction is a “hidden illness” because there are no obvious physical signs or symptoms like in alcohol addiction…” my friend said.

“Then – what happened…?” I asked him.

“I told you – he had a gambling addiction disorder – he couldn’t control himself and he started gambling very heavily – he lost a lot of money – he took huge debts to recoup his losses by speculating in shares – but the stock market crashed – and he was totally wiped out – and – unable to pay his heavy debts – he became bankrupt – with loan sharks hounding him – his gambling addiction totally ruined his life…” my friend said.

“That’s quite a sad story…” I remarked.

“What happened after that is even sadder…” he said.

“What happened…?” I asked him, curious.

“He committed suicide…” my friend said.

“Oh My God…!!!” I said – taken aback.

“His wife – the lady you saw leaving my clinic – she had a severe nervous breakdown – it was very acute – she even started having suicidal thoughts – so – she had to be hospitalized…” he said.

“Nisha had a nervous breakdown…? Is she okay now…?” I asked him.

“Well – I am treating her – we are giving her counselling and therapy too – she is improving – hopefully she will recover…” my psychiatric friend said.

“What a sad story…” I said, “I hope she gets well soon…”

_____

EPILOGUE

_____

At night – I thought about Nisha – her sad story.

The irony was that now I was a teetotaller – I had quit drinking alcohol a few years ago.

This story highlights an important fact – the “moral of the story”:

“Visible” Vices are “safer” that “Invisible” Vices.

It is easy for people to see your “visible” addictions like smoking, drinking etc. – but – it is difficult for people to know about your “invisible” addictions like gambling.

(I wonder if there are more such “invisible” vices)

Dear Reader – there is one more “moral of the story”:

A known “Devil” is better than an unknown “Angel”.

Think about it.

_____ 

VIKRAM KARVE 

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work. 
© vikram karve., all rights reserved. 

Disclaimer:

1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.

2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

3. E&OE

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

Link to my Part 1 of this post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.com/2022/02/unfinished-story-very-short-story-part-1.html

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Unfinished Story : A Very Short Story : Part 1

A VERY SHORT STORY

By

VIKRAM KARVE

_____

PART 1

_____

“Do you drink…?” she asked me.

“Yes…” I said to her.

“You will have to quit drinking if you want to marry me…” she said.

“Quit Drinking…?” I asked her, curious.

“I don’t want a husband who drinks alcohol…” she said to me, “my husband must be strict teetotaller…”

I thought about it.

I had really liked the girl – she was beautiful, well-educated, and from a good family – she was elegant, smart and graceful – I felt attracted towards her.

In fact – she was exactly the type of wife I had wanted.

I wanted to marry her.

On the other hand – I loved having a drink too.

So – I decided to see if I could convince her to soften her stance.

“Well – I am not a drunkard or alcoholic – but – I do enjoy drinking once in a while…” I said to her.

“Well – you will have to give up drinking completely…” she said.

“I feel you should be a bit flexible…” I said to her.

“No – it is non-negotiable – I don’t want a husband who has the vice of drinking…” she said – in a rather imperative tone of voice.

“Isn’t that being a bit too harsh…?” I said to her, “in today’s world – drinking can hardly be called a “vice”…!”

She looked at me and spoke.

“Drinking alcohol is a “major vice”…!!! If you want to marry me – you will have to quit drinking totally – I will not allow you to drink even one drop of alcohol…” she said to me – in a rather imperative tone of voice.

“Please…” I tried to reason with her, “you need not be so rigid…”

But – she interrupted me quite rudely.

“It is quite clear to me that drinking alcohol is more important to you than marrying me. So – in that case – I don’t think it is possible for me to marry you…” she said to me in a firm tone of finality.

And so – that was the end of the marriage proposal.

_____

Dear Reader – I forgot to tell you the name of the girl – her name was Nisha – yes – her name was “Nisha”.

_____

Story to be continued in Part 2

_____ 

VIKRAM KARVE 

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work. 
© vikram karve., all rights reserved. 

Disclaimer:

1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.

2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

3. E&OE

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

______________