How to Complain

Musings of a Navy Veteran on Grievance Management in Professional and Personal Life (Workplace/Marriage/Familial Relationships)

HOW TO COMPLAIN

Musings

By

VIKRAM KARVE

If you have a grievance – you must try to resolve that grievance.

And – in order to resolve your grievance – as a first step to mitigation of your grievance – you must make a complaint – so that the concerned persons are aware of your grievance.

This applies in both workplace relationships and personal relationships – especially marriage.

So – if you have a grievance – you must complain.

In many cases the person causing you the grievance may not be aware that his actions are causing you agony.

Your complaint may make him realize his mistake and he may take corrective action.

Complaining is a part of constructive communication in a relationship.

What is the best way to complain…?

Here is the “Art of Complaining” in a nutshell:

1. Complain to the person who you think is harming you – not to anyone else.

2. Make your complaint immediately – or as soon as possible – when you are alone with the person. Use temperate and courteous language while making the complaint.

3. Keep the complaint private – not public. Avoid complaining in front of others. 

4. Object only to actions – do not make personal attacks. State the specific facts of your grievance.

5. Make only one complaint at a time.

6. Clearly tell the person what you want them to do in order to resolve your grievance.  

7. Most importantly – make the complaint in good faith. Avoid threats, comparisons and extraneous/inappropriate/sarcastic comments.

This prompt “one to one” method of complaining is much better than “gossiping” or “gunnysacking”.  

For example – if a wife has a grievance against her husband – she should directly complain to her husband – instead of talking to her mother, sister, friends, relatives, in-laws etc.

The same applies in workplace relationships as well.

Never “bottle up” your grievances inside you.

The habit of “bottling up” grievances may result in “gunnysacking”.  

(Gunnysacking is a metaphor to describe the act of “storing up” grievances acquired in the course of a relationship rather than resolve them when they first occurred)

Bottling-Up of grievances (Gunnysacking) will cause resentment to build up inside you – and – it will slowly make you bitter and vindictive in nature.

One day – the “gunnysack” may “burst” – and all your bottled resentment may “explode” out – resulting in a major conflict – and – your relationship may be damaged beyond repair.

In order to end this unpleasant topic on a pleasant note – let me tell you a story which metaphorically encapsulates the essence of “gunnysacking”. 

“GUNNYSACKING”

Once upon a time – there was a docile man – who used to work in an office.

He was a very meek and obsequious person

The docile man’s boss was a tyrant and a terrible sadist.

The tyrant boss used to scold, bully and harass the servile and docile man.

The tyrant sadistic boss had made the docile man’s life miserable.

One day – the boss suddenly died of a heart attack.

Just before his funeral – all members of his staff went to pay their last respects to the departed soul.

Suddenly – the docile man picked up a big stone – and – he threw the stone at the dead body of his boss.

Everyone was shocked and surprised at docile man’s strange behaviour. 

They asked the docile man why he had behaved in such a despicable and unbecoming manner.

Everyone asked him the reason why he had thrown the stone at the dead body of the boss.

The docile man calmly explained:

“All these days – I was carrying a stone in my heart. 

Today – I have thrown the stone out...”

MORAL OF THE STORY 

Do you carry such “stones” in your heart...? 

Is your heart filled with“stones” of bitterness – “stones” of regret – “stones” of ill-will – “stones” of rancor, resentments, acrimony – and – “stones” of vengeance.

Remember – you are bearing the burden of all these “stones” that you carry within you – and – this burden – due to the weight of all the “stones” you carry in your heart –it causes you pain. 

So – there is no point carrying “stones” in your heart – which cause you pain.

Whatever is causing you bitterness inside – get it off your chest – right now – once and for all.  

Just throw out all these “stones” right now – forget about them.

And – move on in life with a clean slate. 

Once you have thrown out all the “stones” from your heart – once your heart is clean – just experience how light and joyful you feel. 

It is true.

The Less “baggage” you carry inside you – the better your journey of life will be in the “outside” world. 

CONCLUSION 

IS “GUNNYSACKING” GOOD FOR RELATIONSHIPS…?

“Gunnysacking” is like carrying stones in your heart. 

In the story above – the docile man threw out the “stone” from his heart after his boss had died. 

But – just imagine what will happen if your “Gunnysack” of “stones” bursts when the person against whom you bear these resentments is alive – and you “throw” the entire lot of “stones” at your boss or spouse in one go...? 

Won’t the relationship be damaged beyond repair...? 

Why not try to resolve a grievance immediately by articulating the issue when it occurs – or at the first possible instance – as explained above in the tips on “How to Complain”...?  

Isn’t timely complaining better than “gunnysacking”...? 

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh. 

2. All Stories in this Blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)

This is an Abridged Version of My Blog Post posted online earlier at urls: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2011/03/do-you-keep-stone-in-your-heart.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/03/dont-carry-stones-in-your-heart-recipe.html  and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/07/vengeance-is-mine-how-to-take-revenge.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/03/how-to-take-revenge.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.com/2016/09/do-you-carry-stones-in-your-heart.html  etc

Mitigation Prevents Litigation – Musings on Military Grievance Management System

MITIGATION PREVENTS LITIGATION 

IS THE PRESENT MILITARY GRIEVANCE REDRESSAL SYSTEM EFFECTIVE...?
Musings of a Veteran
By
VIKRAM KARVE

Over the last few years – from time to time – there have been numerous media reports about military servicemen and ex-servicemen going to tribunals and courts to seek justice. 

Recently – I was shocked to see a news item with a headline: 

OVER 100 ARMY OFFICERS MOVE SUPRMEME COURT CLAIMING ‘DISCRIMINATION’ IN PROMOTION 

A few months ago – I was appalled to read a news item about the Navy: 

TRIBUNAL SLAMS NEPOTISM IN NAVY, IMPOSES Rs 5 LAKH AS FINE ON VICE-ADMIRAL 

What is happening in the Armed Forces...? 

Uniformed Military Servicemen (“Faujis”) are simple individuals and are not litigious by nature.

A Military Serviceman goes to court to seek justice only as a last resort after having tried and exhausted all means to get redressal within the service. 

If the internal grievance redressal system of the defence services is effective – most problems can be resolved “in-house” – and there is no need for servicemen to go to external agencies like bureaucracy, tribunals and courts to seek justice for redressal of their grievances.

Why are there frequent media reports of increasing numbers of aggrieved Defence Personnel, serving and retired, of the Army Navy and Air Force, going to courts to seek redressal of their grievances...?

The increasing tendency to litigation indicates that all is not well with the Internal Grievance Redressal Mechanism of the Armed Forces.

It appears that there are too many grievances in the army navy and air force and the services are probably not able to satisfactorily resolve many of these grievances by their internal mechanism.

The failure of the internal military grievance redressal system is an ominous sign.

The negative publicity in the media about increasing number of court cases by servicemen and ex-servicemen bring ignominy to the Defence Services and tarnish their good reputation.

Also – a large amount of resources, material and emotional, individual and organisational, tangible and intangible – all types of resources are expended in litigation.

I do not know about the other Defence Services – but during my early days in the Navy – the Naval Grievance Redressal System was very prompt and effective. 

It seems that over the years – the system has been allowed to become lax and lethargic.

In the past – grievance redressal system stood the test of time.

What has happened over the years – that today – the military grievance redressal system seems to have become ineffective – resulting in increasing litigation in Tribunals and Courts...? 

This reminded me of an article I had written many years ago on the “Seven Important Attributes of a Good Grievance Management System” 

SEVEN IMPORTANT ATTRIBUTES OF A GOOD GRIEVANCE MANAGEMENT SYSTEM 

A good grievance redressal mechanism is a sine qua non of a well-designed and functional Human Resource (HR) Management System.

In order to be successful – a grievance redressal system must possess seven attributes:

SEVEN ATTRIBUTES OF AN EFFECTIVE GRIEVANCE REDRESSAL SYSTEM

1. SIMPLICITY

It must be a procedurally simple mechanism which is easy to use by every employee across the board.

It is best to have a simple form or an online drop down menu where an employee can effortlessly submit a grievance or complaint as he wishes to offline or online or even by SMS callback.

As one of my bosses used to say about grievance management:

“Don’t ask people to pour their hearts out and write long-winded sob-stories and essays – just give them a simple form to fill.”

Yes, a well-designed form can encapsulate the problem more objectively and avoid communications mismatches.

2. ACCESSIBILITY

All employees must have easy access to the grievance redressal mechanism – and – it should be quick and simple procedure to lodge a grievance.

In earlier days – before the IT Boom and prior to the advent of Internet – there used to be cards or forms which could be filled up and put in easily accessible drop boxes which were located all over the workplace, canteens and shop-floors.

Nowadays – in the digital age – it can be an online system which must be easily accessible 24/7 to all employees from their workplace and their homes as well. 

If employees have a grievance – they must know where and how to submit it – and the procedure must be fast and easy. 

With the increasing proliferation of the Social Media – it may be a good idea to make effective use of Social Media in Grievance Management.

3. EFFECTIVENESS

The grievance redressal mechanism must be effective.

The system must work (and it must be seen to work).

There must be proper monitoring, follow-up and feedback to the employees and all concerned about the status and processing of the complaint.

The grievance redressal procedure must ensure that it is made unambiguously and clearly evident to all employees that there is an honest and transparent effort to resolve all grievances in a fair and just manner.

4. EFFICIENCY and PROMPTNESS

The redressal of grievances and resolution of complaints must be done promptly and speedily in an efficient manner within stipulated time frames – so that employees develop faith in the system.

Remember – justice delayed is justice denied.

5. RESPONSIVENESS

The grievance redressal mechanism must be user-friendly and sensitive to the special needs of the employees.

It must be gender sensitized, culturally consonant and in harmony with the prevailing environment.

Most importantly – it must be modern and technologically savvy – and in sync with contemporary times.

Whatever the nature of the grievance or complaint – it must not be trivialized.

Grievances must be treated with utmost empathy and this fact must be evident to all the employees.

There must constant two-way communication between the senior management and the complainant. 

Sometimes a proactive approach is highly appreciated by employees as it nips grievances in the bud.

An impression must be made on employees that all grievances are taken seriously, treated sympathetically and handled with genuine earnestness with the objective of resolving them amicably, speedily and to the entire satisfaction of all concerned.

6. NON-VINDICTIVE

An employee must be able to submit a complaint or grievance for redressal without fear of retribution from higher management.

The employee must have no fear of reprisal from those who he is complaining against even if they are his seniors.

Checks and balances must be put in place in order to ensure that there is absolutely no victimization or harassment of the employee who is submitting a grievance or making a complaint and whistle-blowers must be protected.

The system must be absolutely non-punitive and there must not be the slightest perception or even a shred of doubt in the mind of the employees that they will be “punished” for making a complaint.

7. FAIR JUST and TRANSPARENT SYSTEM

The grievance redressal mechanism must function without fear or favour.

There must be total transparency in the procedure and justice must be done and justice must also seen to be done in a free and fair manner. 

A good Human Resource Management System is Just Fair and Transparent. 

SUMMARY 

To sum up – the 7 Key Attributes of a Good Grievance Management System are:

1. SIMPLICITY 

2. ACCESSIBILITY 

3. EFFECTIVENESS 

4. EFFICIENCY and PROMPTNESS 

5. RESPONSIVENESS

6. NON-VINDICTIVE 

7. FAIR JUST and TRANSPARENT SYSTEM  

Does the present Military Grievance Management System have these seven attributes...?

On paper – and in theory – the grievance redressal mechanisms may satisfy many of these attributes.

The problem may lie in actual implementation on the ground.

It may be worthwhile to see how many of these attributes the military grievance management system satisfies in actual practice.

With the advent and proliferation of Information Technology – the grievance redressal system can certainly be made more prompt by using modern electronic communication means to reduce the time limits for dealing with complaints. 

This will enable speedy online processing of complaints and early communication of decisions to the aggrieved individuals.

It is important to ensure timely redressal of grievances and one must remember the dictum – justice delayed is justice denied

By online grievance processing – the present time periods of many months can be reduced to a few days.

If redressal of grievances and resolution of complaints is done promptly and speedily in an efficient, fair and transparent manner – officers and soldiers/sailors/airmen will develop faith in the grievance redressal system.

In a regimented organisation like the military – it is very important for the grievance redressal system to be non-vindictive.

An officer or soldier must be able to submit a complaint without fear of retribution from senior officers.

He must have no fear of reprisal from those who he is complaining against even if they are his seniors.

Checks and balances must be put in place in order to ensure that there is absolutely no victimization or harassment of the individual who is submitting a grievance or making a complaint and whistle-blowers must be protected.

In theory and on paper – these exist – but they must be ensured in practice too.

The system must be absolutely non-punitive – and there must not be the slightest perception or even a shred of doubt in the mind of the persons submitting a grievance for redressal – that they will be “punished” for making a complaint.

The grievance redressal mechanism must function without fear or favour.

There must be total transparency in the procedure – and justice must be done – and – more importantly – justice must be seen to be done – in a free and fair manner. 

The hallmark of a good grievance redressal system is that it is absolutely Fair, Just and Transparent 

It is essential that the Grievance Management System is seen by all stakeholders to be absolutely Fair, Just and Transparent.

It is always best way to prevent grievances as far as possible by good HR Management Practices.

Let us now delve and analyse: 

In which areas do Defence Personnel have maximum grievances...?

If one goes by media reports – it seems that the maximum number of grievances pertain to promotion (for serving personnel) – and pay/pension (OROP/Disability Pension etc) for retired military veterans.

If the promotion system is made fair, just and transparent – most of these grievances will disappear.

Is there any need to have so much intrigue and secrecy by making performance appraisal so opaque and selection process so nebulous.

Of course – there may be a need for confidentiality of performance appraisal reports (Annual Confidential Reports aka ACRs) – till the selection board meets.

But once the selection is over – will it not be better to have total transparency – and declare the entire promotion board result publicly – by giving all ACR points, cut-offs etc of the entire batch.

This transparent approach will not only demonstrate fairness and instill confidence in the promotion system – but it will also make it difficult to indulge in favoritism.

Another area where there are grievances, especially among ex-servicemen, pertain to service conditions, pay and pension.

Many of these issues can be mitigated in-house too in order to reduce avoidable litigation. 

Yes – mitigation within the service can resolve many issues and reduce litigation in tribunals and courts.

CONCLUSION

The “powers-that-be need” to introspect whether the present system meets seven attributes of a good grievance management system listed below and whether there is any scope for improvement.

Is there a need to amend the antiquated Army Act (1950), Navy Act (1957) and Air Force Act (1950) to incorporate new grievance redressal mechanisms...?

If the internal grievance redressal management system is effective – most problems will be resolved in-house – and there will be no need for officers and soldiers/sailors/airmen to go to external agencies like bureaucracy, tribunals and courts to seek justice for redressal of their grievances.

The objective of the Defence Services must be to have “grievance-free” Army, Navy, Air Force and Military Veterans.

This will ensure happy servicemen and ex-servicemen with high morale.

Defence Services must follow the Grievance Redressal Motto:
“MITIGATION” PREVENTS “LITIGATION”

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved. 

Disclaimer:

All Stories in this Blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)

This is a revised repost of my article on Grievance Redressal System posted online earlier at urls: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/09/grievance-redressal-mechanism-7.html  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/07/effective-grievance-redressal-for-good.html  and  https://www.quora.com/profile/Vikram-Karve/Writing-by-VIKRAM-KARVE/Grievance-Redressal and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/07/grievance-redressal-in-army-navy-air.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/07/effective-grievance-redressal-for-good.html  and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/01/attributes-of-good-grievance-management.html etc