HOW TO MANAGE YOUR DESIRES

HOW TO MANAGE YOUR DESIRES
Musings on The Art of LivingBy
VIKRAM KARVE


DESIRES and HAPPINESS

Over the years I have realized that two main reasons for unhappiness are:

1. Dissatisfaction caused by unfulfilled desires


and


2. Anxiety that you will not be able to fulfill your desires in the future

There is a close connection between happiness and desire-satisfaction. 

When you get what you want you feel happy and when you do not get what you want you feel unhappy.

Happiness results from getting what you want (desire-satisfaction)

and 

Unhappiness results from not getting what you want (desire-frustration)

Therefore, there are two strategies you can pursue with respect to any given desire:

1. You can either strive to fulfill the desire

or

2. You can try to eliminate the desire

No philosopher has better explored this than Epicurus, a Greek Philosopher of the Third Century BC. 

Epicurus (341-270 BC) espoused a strategy for achieving genuine human happiness by:

Emphasizing on the delights of the mind (over which you have control)

and

De-emphasizing the delights derived from material things (which are so often beyond your personal control).

This desire management strategy will help you scale down your desires to the basic minimum which can easily be satisfied. 

Yes, you follow this this two phase desire management strategy:

1. Firstly, you scale down your desires to those desires which it is feasible for you to fulfill

then

2. You satisfy those desires. 

This will make you happy since fulfilling a desire creates happiness.

TYPES OF DESIRES

Epicurus distinguishes between three types of desires:

1.      Natural and Necessary Desires

2.      Unnatural and Unnecessary (or Vain and Empty) Desires

3.      Natural but Non-necessary Desires

Our tendency to happiness (or unhappiness) depends on how we tackle each of these three types of desires.

Natural and Necessary Desires

Examples of natural and necessary desires include the desires for food, shelter, health, sense of security and basic physical needs, cravings which will necessarily lead to greater pain if they are not fulfilled.

These basic desires are easy to satisfy yet difficult to eliminate since they are “hard-wired” into human beings naturally and create a sense of well-being when satisfied (“Happiness begins at the stomach”) 

Furthermore, natural and necessary desires are necessary for life, and these desires are naturally limited: that is, if one is hungry, it only takes a limited amount of food to fill the stomach, after which the desire is satisfied.

Epicurus says that you should try to satisfy natural and necessary desires.

Vain and Empty or Unnatural and Unnecessary Desires

Vain, unnatural and unnecessary desires include desires for excessive power, wealth, fame, and other egoistic ambitions which have all the trappings of status and prestige.

Vain desires are difficult to satisfy, in part because they have no natural limit. 

If one desires wealth or power, no matter how much one gets, it is always possible to get more, and the more one gets, the more one wants.

These desires are not natural to human beings, but inculcated by society and by false beliefs about what we need.

For example, we falsely believe that being very powerful or wealthy or famous will guarantee us happiness. 

In actual fact, Opulence may attract thieves and other dangers, and Power and Fame may attract sycophants. 

Yes, such vain desires, which are unnatural and unnecessary, are sure to put you into the spiral of unhappiness.

Epicurus says that such vain and empty desires should be eliminated.

Natural but Non-Necessary Desires

An example of a natural but non-necessary desire is the desire for luxury food. 

Although food is needed for survival, one does not need rich expensive gourmet food to survive. 

Thus, despite his hedonism, Epicurus advocates a surprisingly ascetic way of life. 

Although you should not spurn extravagant foods if they happen to be available, becoming dependent on such luxury food (and other luxuries) ultimately leads to unhappiness.

These natural but non-necessary desires are those cravings that are not necessary for life, but give you great happiness. 

However, should you become dependent on them, such desires can lead to great unhappiness if they are not fulfilled. 

These desires are typically recreational in nature and examples of such desires include Sexual Gratification, Friendship, Aesthetic Desires, Entertainment, Social Intercourse, Creative Expression and Intellectual Stimulation, Liberal Arts, Reading, Social Networking, Sports, Travel etc

In the case of natural but non-necessary desires you must approach life like a banquet. 

Think of your life as if it were a banquet where you would behave graciously.

When a dish is passed to you, extend your hand and help yourself to a moderate portion. 

If a dish should pass you by, enjoy what is already on your plate. 

And if a dish has not been passed to you yet, patiently wait for your turn.

Conclusion

To paraphrase Epicurus:

If you wish to make a man truly happy, do not give him more money

rather

Just try to reduce his desires

The Epicurean Philosophy of Life recommends that you must strive to do two things:

1. Eliminate the unhappiness caused by unfulfilled desires

and 

2. Reduce the anxiety that occurs because of the fear that your desires will not be fulfilled in the future.

Adopting this wise Epicurean philosophy of life will enable you to attain tranquility and enjoy everlasting happiness.

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work. 
© vikram karve., all rights reserved. 

Did you like reading this blog post?
I am sure you will like all the 27 stories in my book  COCKTAIL an anthology of Short Fiction.
To order your COCKTAIL please click any of the links below:
http://www.flipkart.com/cocktail-vikram-karve-short-stories-book-8191091844?affid=nme
http://www.indiaplaza.in/cocktail-vikram-karve/books/9788191091847.htm
http://www.apkpublishers.com/books/short-stories/cocktail-by-vikram-karve.html
COCKTAIL ebook
If you prefer reading ebooks on Kindle or your ebook reader, please order Cocktail E-book by clicking the links below:
AMAZON
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925

Foodie Book:  Appetite for a Stroll
If your are a Foodie you will like my book of Food Adventures APPETITE FOR A STROLL. Do order a copy from FLIPKART:
http://www.flipkart.com/appetite-stroll-vikram-karve/8190690094-gw23f9mr2o

About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer and blogger. Educated at IIT Delhi, IIT (BHU) Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and an anthology of short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories and creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional  and academic research papers in journals and edited in-house journals and magazines for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing and blogging. Vikram Karve lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramwamankarve@gmail.com

      

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

 

HOW TO BECOME POWERFUL

HOW TO BECOME POWERFUL 

An Apocryphal Story of  EMPEROR ALEXANDER and  PHILOSOPHER DIOGENES

By 

VIKRAM KARVE

Here is an apocryphal story I had read long back about Alexander the Great and his encounter with the Greek philosopher Diogenes.

Alexander the Great, the Emperor of the World, who had conquered all lands and seas and considered himself the “son of a God” and before whom all knelt in veneration and reverence, one day early in the morning, was riding with his army through Greece. 

Suddenly he saw a man lying naked in the sand by the side of a river basking in the early morning sunlight. 

Curious, Alexander rode towards the naked man and sat imposingly astride his horse towering over the emaciated prostrate man.

The Emperor Alexander was shocked to observe that the naked man seemed to be totally indifferent to the distinguished visitor and appeared nonchalantly oblivious of the bountiful entourage and captivating presence and charisma of the great Emperor. 

The stranger remained prostrate and made no attempt to get up and pay obeisance to the Emperor.

In fact the prostrate naked man continued lying down and totally ignored Alexander the Great sitting majestically on his horse. 

An angry soldier shouted at the naked man, “You there – do you know in whose presence you are…?” 

“Who is he…?” the prostrate man answered lazily, without the stir, making no move to get up. 

The astonished soldier proclaimed, “Wretched man, you are in the presence of His Exalted Highness Alexander the Great – Emperor of the World.”

“Oh,” the naked sunbather said impassively, continuing to lie down. He casually looked up at Alexander the Great mounted imposingly on his horse and said, “I am Diogenes.”  

“Ah, so you are the eccentric philosopher Diogenes…!” Alexander exclaimed, “I have always wanted to meet you – I have heard so many stories about you. Diogenes, I am impressed. I will grant you anything you wish. What do you desire…? Tell me Diogenes, what do you want, ask for anything in the world and it will be yours…” 

Still lying prostrate on the sand, Diogenes looked Emperor Alexander in the eye and said to him, “Please could you move a little to the side and get out of the sunlight, because you are blocking the sun and spoiling my sunbath. That is all I want from you…” 

MORAL OF THE STORY

This story illustrates that POWER is inversely proportional to DESIRE

You cannot have power over someone who desires nothing from you. 

Till such time you desire something from a person, that person has power over you.

TYPES OF DESIRES 

1. Your Desires can be tangible (like money, food, sex and other material things)

or 

2. your Desires can be intangible (like love, security, recognition, respect, ego massage etc).

If you desire nothing from someone, he has no power of you. 

Conversely if you want to have power over someone you must be in a position to satisfy his desires. 

But the irony may be that once you satisfy his desires permanently you may cease to have power over him. 

At work, if you want a promotion (a good appraisal report) your boss has power over you.

Once you get the promotion, he may no longer be your boss (or the person writing your appraisal report) and power equations change.

In some organizations where promotions are strictly by seniority and time-scale and there is Assured Career Progression (ACP) and appraisal reports do not exist or, even if they do exist, they do not have any significance for promotion, and the boss has no say in the career progression of his juniors, the bosses will not have much power on their subordinates.

This is true of an intangible desire like love too. 

Suppose a man is in love with a woman and wants to marry her. 

Till such time she does not reciprocate his love the woman has power over the man and can make him dance around her since his desire for her love remains unsatisfied. 

Suppose she reciprocates his love and marries him then the power equations may change since now, not only are the man's desires satisfied, but in fact the wife may start desiring things from her husband like money, security etc.  

In later life the husband may desire care from his wife so she once again has power over him. 

So the power versus desire relationship is a dynamic one.

For example, take the case of money. 

In earlier days, the husband was the breadwinner and used to provide for his family and that is why he had power over his wife and family. 

Today, when women have become financially independent. Wives can now provide for their families and do not desire money from their husbands. The power equations have therefore changed and wives are more assertive.

That is why they say that POWER IS THE RECIPROCAL OF DESIRE

The less you desire the more powerful you are.

So, if you want to become powerful, just reduce your desires.

Think about it. 

And do make it a point to observe the dynamics of desire-power equations in your workplace and personal relationships as well - it is quite an enjoyable and illuminating pastime from which you can learn a lot.

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 2012

Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work. 

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Did you like reading this article?
I am sure you will like all the 27 stories in my recently published book of short stories COCKTAIL
To order your COCKTAIL please click any of the links below:
http://www.flipkart.com/cocktail-vikram-karve-short-stories-book-8191091844?affid=nme
http://www.indiaplaza.in/cocktail-vikram-karve/books/9788191091847.htm
http://www.apkpublishers.com/books/short-stories/cocktail-by-vikram-karve.html
COCKTAIL ebook
If you prefer reading ebooks on Kindle or your ebook reader, please order Cocktail E-book by clicking the links below:
AMAZON
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925

Foodie Book:  Appetite for a Stroll
If your are a Foodie you will like my book of Food Adventures APPETITE FOR A STROLL. Do order a copy from FLIPKART:
http://www.flipkart.com/appetite-stroll-vikram-karve/8190690094-gw23f9mr2o

About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer and blogger. Educated at IIT Delhi, IIT (BHU) Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and an anthology of short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories and creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional  and academic research papers in journals and edited in-house journals and magazines for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing and blogging. Vikram Karve lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramwamankarve@gmail.com

      

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.