Food Date

FOOD DATE

Fiction Short Story

By

VIKRAM KARVE

My mobile phone gave a notification sound.

It was a “WhatsApp” Message from my wife:

“Call when you are free...”

I called my wife immediately.

“Is your “date” over…?” my wife asked me.

“No. She has gone to the washroom…” I said.

“I saw the pictures on Facebook. She seems very beautiful…” my wife said.

“Yes. She is much more beautiful in real life than in her pictures…” I said.

“Why did you take her to that Biryani joint…?” my wife said, “you should have treated her to a lavish lunch in a 5-Star hotel…”

“She insisted on going there…” I said, “she is a Biryani lover and wanted to eat “authentic” Biryani…”

“Did she like the Biryani…?” my wife asked.

“Yes…” I said, “she loved the Biryani – and the Kebabs too…”

“That’s good…” my wife said, “what are your plans now…?”

“I’ll drop her home…” I said.

“It’s only 2 o’clock. Take her shopping to the mall, or for a movie – or – the monsoon weather is so lovely – why don’t you take her for a “romantic” drive to some picturesque place – Tamhini, Sinhagad, Lonavala – and enjoy the sunset view together. Ask her what she wants to do…” my wife said.

“Thanks…” I said to my wife, “I’ll ask her…”

“By the way – I really liked the “selfie” you took with her…” my wife said.

“You liked the “selfie” – I am so happy to hear that. I am still learning how to take good “selfies”. I had to hold her really tight and close while taking this one…” I said.

“Yes…” my wife said, “tight and close – quite an intimate “selfie”…!!!”

Suddenly – I saw that my “date” had come out of the washroom and was walking towards me.

“She is coming…” I said to my wife.

“Okay. All the Best with your “date”…” my wife said and disconnected the phone.

As my “date” came closer – I was surprised to see that she was giving me an “angry” look.

I smiled to greet her – but – she did not smile back at me.

Instead – she seemed to become even more livid.

She did not sit down – but remained standing.

So – I rose from my seat.

“Are you crazy…?” my “date” shouted at me.

“Why…? What happened…?” I said, surprised.

“Why have you uploaded our pictures all over the Social Media…?” she said angrily.

“The photos were so good…” I said.

“Oh Yes…” she interrupted, “the photos are “too good” – especially that “selfie” where you seem to be rubbing your cheeks on mine…”

“You didn’t like our “selfie”…?” I asked.

“Well – my sister-in-law has certainly “liked” it…” she said with sarcasm in her voice.

“Sister-in-Law…?” I asked.

“My husband’s sister – who hates me…” my “date” said.

“Oh…” I mumbled.

“And – by now – I am sure my bitchy sister-in-law has shared that “selfie” with everyone – all over the social media…” my “date” said, with anxiety in her voice.

“Oh – she saw it…?” I said, “But your sister-in-law is not my “friend”. How did she see the “selfie”…?”

“Because you “tagged” me – you fool. And – my sister-in-law is my “friend” on Facebook. Why the hell did you “tag” me…?” she said.

“I thought…” I mumbled.

“You should have asked my permission…” she said, angrily.

“I asked you before taking the “selfie”…” I said.

“I thought you are taking it as remembrance – for our private viewing…” she said, “I never imagined that you would publicly share our pictures with the whole world on the social media…”

“I am sorry if I have annoyed you…” I said to her, “Okay. I’ll cheer you up – let’s go on a long drive to some nice place – Tamhini, Sinhagad, Lonavala – wherever you want – and we can see sunset together…”

“Are you mad or something…? Do you think I am going to stay for even a single minute with you after what you have done…?” my “date” said angrily to me.

Suddenly – there was a notification sound on her mobile phone – so – she looked at her phone.

“Oh My God…” she said, “it’s my husband. He wants me to call him urgently.”

“But – it must be midnight over there…” I said.

“I am sure my sister-in-law has shown these pictures to my mother-in-law – especially that scandalous looking “selfie” – and my devious mother-in-law must have called up my husband immediately…” she said.

“Or maybe – he has seen the selfie” on Facebook – or Twitter – or Instagram – all my Social Media Accounts are connected – once I post a picture – it gets shared everywhere …” I said.

“You just shut up…!!! Let me figure out what I should say to my husband…” she said.

“You haven’t told your husband about this “date” with me…?” I said, curious.

“Of Course Not…!” she said, “have you told your wife…?”

“Yes. I tell my wife everything. In fact – she is the one who told me to ask you out for a “date” after seeing our Tweets, DMs and Facebook Messages to each other…” I said.

“What…? You share private messages with each other…? You people seem to be real weirdos…” she said, scornfully.

“I’ll delete the photos…” I said, contrite.

“It’s too late now – the damage is already done. But still – you please delete all those pictures – especially the “selfie”. I only hope my sister-in-law hasn’t taken a “screenshot”…!!!” she said.

“Okay. I will delete all pictures and status updates of our “date”…” I said, “But – you don’t worry – nothing will happen – if you want – I will talk to your husband – and mother-in-law…” I said.

“Please – you have done “enough” for the day. I am going now. And – I never want to see your face again – so – don’t try to contact me – online or offline. In any case – I am blocking you everywhere…” she said, angrily.

And – she walked away – out of the restaurant.

EPILOGUE

I went home – and – I told me wife everything.

“Don’t feel sad…” my wife said to me, “you have so many friends on the Social Media – we’ll find someone good for your next date…”

“It’s strange…” I said, “she hadn’t told her husband she was having a “date” with me. Aren’t husbands and wives supposed to tell each other everything…? Don’t I tell you everything…?”

“Everyone is not “You”…” my wife said – and she gave me a loving hug. 

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.

2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved) 

ALKA and ULKA – a romance

It is a lazy Sunday afternoon here in Pune.

Let me delve deep into my creative writing archives – and pull out a story that I wrote more than 13 years ago – in the year 2004 – after a trip to Hyderabad.

I hope this flirty love story will cheer you up on this hot Sunday afternoon.

Do comment and tell me if you liked this rather amateurish romance.

Have a great week ahead.

And Hey – Dear Reader – please remember that I wrote this story 13 years ago – in 2004 – when online “e-ticketing” was not prevalent and you bought air tickets from a travel agency.

ALKA and ULKA 

Short Fiction - A Flirty Romance

By

VIKRAM KARVE

“Ulka. It’s Ulka – I will spell it out for you – U – L –  K – A – that’s my name – not Alka...” screamed the furious lady.

 

“I’m sorry Ma’am. It’s just a small mistake...” the ticketing clerk, a young girl, said apologetically.

 

“Small mistake...? You spell my name wrongly – and you call it a small mistake...?” the beautiful lady fumed.

 

“I must have heard wrongly on the phone...”

 

“It’s carelessness. Anyway – you change the ticket...”

 

The ticketing clerk took the ticket from the lady.

Then – with her pen the ticketing clerk overwrote ‘U’ in place of the ‘A’ – changing Alka to Ulka.

 

“What nonsense is this...?” the lady flared up – she looked livid.

 

“How does it matter, Ma’am...? It’s just a minor change of spelling. Besides – your surname is spelt correctly.”

 

“Minor change...? You need an attitudinal change...!”

 

“Excuse me, Ma’am...!”

 

“What do you mean “excuse me”...? You just cancel this ticket and issue a new one with my correct name.”

 

“You will have to pay cancellation charges if you cancel the ticket...”

 

“Cancellation charges...? What nonsense...! Why should I pay...? It’s your mistake. You think I am a fool...?” the lady shouted – beginning to lose control of herself..

 

Till this moment – I was just watching from the sidelines.

But now – it was time for me to intervene.

 

“What’s the matter...?” I asked the ticketing girl.

 

“She is creating a big fuss over a minor issue...” the ticketing girl said to me.

 

“Big fuss...! You change my name and it’s a minor issue...? Suppose the plane crashes – what happens to the insurance...? You are incompetent. I will have you fired from your job...! Who is the top man here...?” the lady said, trembling with fury.

 

“Excuse me, Madam...” I said, “May I help you...?”

 

“I want to see the top man here...” the lady shouted – her enormous brown velvety eyes flaming – her flawlessly smooth cheeks flushed – her slender upturned nose luminous, almost translucent – her deliciously juicy lips quivering – in her anger – she looked devastatingly beautiful .

 

“I am the “top man” here...” I said to her.

Then – I turned to the ticketing clerk – and – I said firmly: 

“Issue a fresh ticket with the proper name. Don’t make any mistakes...!”

 

“But, Sir...?”

 

“Just do what I say. Do you understand...!!!” I snapped at the hapless ticketing girl.

Then – I turned to the angry lady – and I said politely to her: 

“Ma’am – please come to my cabin.”

 

After a glass of water – a freshen up – and a cup of coffee – composed and appearing a bit contrite – with the fresh ticket with her correct name on the table in front of her – the beautiful lady said to me: 

“I am sorry for creating a scene – but I get very upset when I am called Alka instead of Ulka. My name is Ulka – and – I do not like to be called Alka....”

 

“I can understand...” I said. “One’s name is important – and people do get touchy if there is a mistake. But then – Alka and Ulka – both names suit you.”

 

“What do you mean...?” she asked, confused.

 

“‘Alka’ means a girl with curly hair. Just like you...!”

 

She blushed – and she asked me: “And ‘Ulka’...? What does ‘Ulka’ mean...?”

 

“Well – ‘Ulka’ means a meteor – a star falling on the earth from the heavens, fire, a torch – or a firebrand...”

 

“Are you telling me that I am a hothead firebrand – or – do I look like a meteor...?” she smiled mischievously. 

The ice had broken. 

Her anger melted.

 

“Alka and Ulka. They sound so similar that one can easily confuse Ulka with Alka which is a more common name...” I said.

   

“I know. But – because of this ‘Alka-Ulka’ slip-up – I have paid a heavy price for it...” she said.

And then – Ulka began to tell me her story. 

I am easy to talk to – and her words came tumbling out.

 

“Around 10 years ago – when I was in my final year at college – a boy saw me in our college canteen – and he fell head over heels in love with me...” she said.

 

“Wow...!” I said.

 

“He was so desperate – that after we had left – he asked a waiter my name – and the stupid waiter made the same mistake – instead of telling the boy that my name was ‘Ulka’ – the waiter told the boy that my name was ‘Alka’...”

 

“But the boy was in your college, isn’t it...?”

 

“No. No. I never noticed him. Must be one of those rich types just hanging out in our college – to ogle at girls. He had fallen so madly in love with me – that he tried to find out my address from our college office.”

 

“Then what happened...?”

“I told you – instead to telling the boy my correct name ‘Ulka’ – the waiter told the Boy that my name was ‘Alka’...”

“Oh...!” I said, waiting for Ulka to continue her story.

 

Ulka looked at me and said: “So the Boy went to the college office and he asked for ‘Alka’ – and unfortunately there was an ‘Alka’ in my class – so they gave him Alka’s address...”

“A goof up...?”

“Now listen to this...” Ulka said, “the Boy takes the address – and then the guy goes to his parents – he gives them the address – and he tells his parents them to meet Alka’s parents and ask for her hand in marriage.”

 

“And then...?”

 

“They saw each other – the Boy and Alka. The Boy realized his goof-up – and he told Alka – he described me accurately to her – and told Alka that he had fallen for me – not her. But – Alka is smart – very smart. She wasn't going to let go of such a prize catch. I don’t know what she did. Maybe she told him there was no one like me in her college – or maybe she lied to him that I was from some other college – or some such yarn – but she must have sure worked on him with all her wily charms – and finally – they did get married. And now – Alka is having a ball of a time loaded in dough – the wife of a wealthy businessman – while I slog it out all alone like a slave – day in and day out...”

 

“You never met the boy after that...?”

 

“No. I never met him in my life. I don’t even know how he looks...”

“How is that possible...?” 

“I told you that I did not notice that the boy was looking at me in the college canteen. He was looking at me – but I did not know that he was looking at me – there was so much rush in the canteen and I was sitting with my group of girls – so I didn’t even seen the boy looking at me...”

“Oh...” 

“In fact – till yesterday – I did not even know all this story that I told you just now...” Ulka said.

 

“You did know all this till yesterday...? Then how did you come to know...?” I asked.

 

“Alka told me...” she said.

 

“Alka...? Here. In Hyderabad...?”

 

“I ran into her at Abids last evening. At the jewellery shop. I was just looking at a string of pearls. Too expensive for me. But Alka bought a lovely pearl necklace and an exquisite diamond studded watch.”

 

“A diamond studded watch...?”

 

“Yes – just imagine – I couldn’t even afford one pearl necklace – but Alka bought a pearl necklace and an expensive diamond studded men’s watch too. Alka’s husband must be rich – she must be loaded with money...”

 

“And then...?”

“I noticed that she was staring at me – so I smiled back. Then – Alka came towards me and introduced herself – “I am ‘Alka’...” – she said to me. Then – she told me that she had recognised me – and she asked me: “Your name is ‘Ulka’ – isn’t it?”...”

“Really...? She directly asked you whether you were ‘Ulka’...? And then what happened...?”

 

“Yes. Then Alka took me out to dinner in a restaurant. Do you remember that I told you that the Boy had told her everything about the name goof-up – well the Boy had accurately described me to her. Alka teased me that her husband still remembers me...”

 

“Alka didn’t invite you home...? To meet her husband...?” I asked

 

“I asked her to take me to her home. I told her that I wanted to meet her husband – the Boy who had fallen for me in our college canteen – but who I had never seen. But – she made up some excuses. Maybe – Alka is scared of letting her husband meeting me. After all – a man’s first love always has an enduring place in his heart...”

 

“That’s really sad...!” 

 

“Yes. Just one small ‘Alka-Ulka’ goof-up – and look at the consequences. She is glowing in matrimony in the lap of luxury – and me – in the abyss – all alone...”

 

“All alone...? You did not marry...?”

 

“No.”

 

“Why...?”

 

“Well – I just don’t seem to like any boy – maybe – I still haven’t got over that Boy, I guess...!” Ulka said.

I paused for a moment.

Then – I looked into Ulka’s eyes – and I said: 

“Well – let me tell you – that what you are imagining – may not be that true...”

 

“What do you mean...?” Ulka asked, looking a bit confused.

 

“Alka’s husband – the “Boy” who fell head over heels in love with you – he is not a hot-shot businessman. Alka’s husband is just the owner of a modest travel agency...” I said.

 

“You know him...?” Ulka asked me.

 

“Of course I know him. That “Boy” is me. I am Alka’s husband...” I said.

 

She froze. 

Then – she melted. 

And then – she broke into a smile. 

We – Ulka and Me – we looked wistfully into each other’s eyes in silence for a long long time.

 

After Ulka left my office – there were just two thoughts perambulating in my mind.

 

Firstly – I wondered what life would have been like if had I married Ulka.

 

Secondly – I wondered why my wife Alka was hiding things from me.

Whereas – my darling wife Alka had gleefully shown me the lovely pearl necklace the moment I reached home last night – I wondered why she had not told me about the exquisite diamond studded men’s watch she had bought along with the pearl necklace at Abids last evening...!!!

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

This story is a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

     

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

 

This Fiction Short Story was written by me Vikram Karve 13 years ago in the year 2004 and Earlier Posted Online a number of times by me Vikram Karve in my Creative Writing Blogs at various urls including: http://creative.sulekha.com/alka-and-ulka-a-short-story-by-vikram-karve_31668_blog  and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2010/11/ulka-and-alka.html  and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/02/alka-versus-ulka-flirty-romance.html  etc