Humor in Uniform – My Hilarious Encounters with “Fauji” Doctors – Part 4 – THE “SIQ” LADY DOCTOR

HUMOR IN UNIFORM

My Hilarious Encounters with “Fauji” Doctors – Part 4

Continued from Part 1 – DOC DANEEKA IN UNIFORM  Part 2 – DOCTOR AT SEA and Part 3 – THE “FAUJI” DOCTOR AND HIS DOCTOR WIFE 

THE “SIQ” LADY DOCTOR
A Spoof
By
VIKRAM KARVE

Story of the “SIQ” “Fauji” Lady Doctor – A Spoof by Vikram Karve

A fellow Navy Officer once took his 3 year old daughter to the IAT Pune MI Room.

MI Room stands for Medical Inspection Room – that’s what they call a military medical healthcare clinic in the Army and Air Force. 

In the Navy – “MI Room” is called “Sick Bay”.

Those days there was a lady doctor – a Major of the AMC – posted to IAT Pune as the Medical Officer.

The officer’s small daughter had severe loose motions (diarrhoea).

The moment he entered the lady doctor’s office-cum-clinic, the army lady doctor looked up at my friend’s face and shouted at him, “Why are you coming here and disturbing me? How many days SIQ (Sick in Quarters) do you want? Just go to the office and tell the attendant whatever SIQ you want. He will fill it up and you can take the SIQ slip from there. I have already signed and kept blank SIQ slips over there.”

The stunned Naval Officer told the Lady Army Medical Officer, “Nothing is wrong with me. I am perfectly fit for duties. I don’t want SIQ.”

“Then why have you come here to the MI Room?” the “fauji” lady doctor asked him.

The Naval Officer pointed to his 3 year old daughter, and he said to the lady doctor, “My daughter has got loose motions.”

The lady army medical officer looked down from the officer’s face to his tiny daughter holding his hand and standing below him.

Suddenly, the lady medical officer got excited, and she said, “Loose motions can be very serious – especially in children. You must take her to the Military Hospital (MH) immediately. I will call the ambulance and fill up her hospital admission form. You rush and take her to the Military Hospital Khadakvasla - or better still you take her to Command Hospital Pune - there will be some child specialists over there.”

Later, at a party, the “fauji” lady doctor tried to rationalize her actions and she said to my friend: “You look so young – I am sorry I mistook you for an army course officer. You see, most of the army officers have come to IAT for a training course after a hectic field posting. They consider IAT as an R&R posting – an opportunity for Rest and Recreation. The officers want to relax over here with their families and enjoy this peace tenure. So they mostly come to the MI Room for SIQ chits so that they can relax at home and spend quality time with their families.”

We nicknamed the “Fauji” Lady Doctor in Uniform as: “SIQ” Quack or more charitably “SIQ” Medical Officer.

To be continued in Part 5...

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

1. This story is a spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.

2. All Stories in this Blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)

Extract from My Story Earlier Posted by me Vikram Karve in my Academic and Creative Writing Journal Blog on 05 February 2014.

Posted by Vikram Karve at 2/05/2014 03:37:00 PM at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/02/doc-daneeka-in-uniform-hilarious.html

Humor in Uniform – My Hilarious Encounters with “Fauji” Doctors – Part 3 – THE “FAUJI” DOCTOR AND HIS DOCTOR WIFE

HUMOR IN UNIFORM

My Hilarious Encounters with “Fauji” Doctors – Part 3

Continued from Part 1 – DOC DANEEKA IN UNIFORM  and Part 2 – DOCTOR AT SEA

THE “FAUJI” DOCTOR AND HIS DOCTOR WIFE

A Spoof

By

VIKRAM KARVE

This happened 30 years ago – in the mid 1980’s – at IAT Pune.

I had newly arrived in station – IAT was an inter-service training establishment – but it was run in typical army style.

During my evening walk – I saw a crowd of young student officers and families sitting on the lawns of the house of our unit medical officer.

“So, Doc is having a party, is it...?” I shouted to them.

“No. We are waiting to see the doctor for medical treatment,” they said.

I was impressed.

I had thought that our Medical Officer (MO) was a typical “fauji” doctor.

But I was impressed to see that he seemed to be such a good doctor that patients were coming to his house.

And he seemed so sincere that he had started an evening OPD at home for their convenience.

“That’s great. I did not know that our unit MO sees patients at home,” I said.

A student officer looked at me and said: “Sir, we have not come to see the unit MO. He is useless. We have come to see his wife. She is an excellent doctor who works in XXX hospital, the best hospital in town. In the evening, she does her private practice here at her home, and everyone comes to see her – she charges quite a lot, but then she is really good.”

Yes – she was a really good doctor.

Once a young officer got a strange cough.

During his morning run – in the expansive picturesque campus – he would suddenly get a spasm of cough – so severe – that it was almost like a convulsion.

He would sit down – terminate his run – walk home – and drink water – and take rest.

For the rest of the day – he would be okay.

These fits of cough happened only in the mornings during his runs and while jogging in the open.

The officer reported to the unit Medical Officer (MO) in the MI Room.

On hearing the symptoms – the Army MO immediately concluded that it was Asthma – and the MO referred the officer to the specialist at Military Hospital (MH).

The officer was due for his sea time immediately after the course.

His fellow officers scared the shit out of the officer by putting all sorts of fears in his mind.

They said that if he went to the specialist for Asthma – he would be subjected to all sorts of tests and examinations – and the specialists at MH would surely downgrade his medical category.

Now – if his medical category was downgraded – that would be the end of his sea time – and his career would be badly affected too.

The officer’s wife advised the officer – that before he went to the “fauji” specialist at the Military Hospital – it would be better if they took a “second opinion” from the doctor’s wife (the lady doctor who practiced at home).

In the evening – the worried asthma afflicted officer went to the doctor’s wife.

The doctor’s wife – the civilian lady doctor – she heard him out – and she said: “Don’t worry – it is not asthma – it is just a seasonal allergy due to pollen from the ‘congress grass’ which is abundant on the campus. This allergy happens to some people in spring. Just stop your morning runs for a month or two. Don’t go out in the open in the mornings. You will be okay. Once it is summer – you can start your morning outdoor exercise and running again.”

“Any medicines – any treatment?” the officer asked.

“Nothing,” the lady doctor said, “if you want just add some gavati chaha (lemon grass) to boiling water when you make tea in the morning – it will act as a placebo – there are plenty of gavati chaha bushes growing wild in the campus.”

Within days – the officer’s cough disappeared – and soon – the moment the season changed – he started his morning runs again.

Of course – the officer scrupulously avoided going to the MI Room during the remaining part of his course.

To be continued in Part 4...

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

1. This story is a spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh. 

2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

     

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.