Friday, November 21, 2014


Spoof on Military Matrimony

Sometime ago I heard that a girl had turned down a marriage proposal from an Army Officer.

Everyone said that the boy was good.

“Yes, the boy is good – I like him – but I don’t want to marry and army officer and get stuck throughout my life roaming around all over in small cantonments. I want to pursue my career in IT – in fact, I am thinking of going abroad to the US and settling down there – all this will not be possible if I marry an army officer,” she said.

A few days back I heard that the girl had done exactly what she had wanted – she got married to a NRI boy from the states and she too has migrated and joined him there in America where both are pursuing their careers in IT.

This would not have been possible had she married a “fauji”.

This episode reminded me of a story (a playlet) I had written last year, in June 2013, on a modern military marriage titled THE NEW AGE FAUJI COUPLE.

I am posting this story, once more, for you read and mull over, especially if you are an military wife or are thinking of marrying a military officer: 

THE NEW AGE “FAUJI” COUPLE  a playlet by Vikram Karve

Cast of Characters

H –  Husband  [An Army Officer – a Major (33)]

W – Wife  (The Army Officer’s “Fauji” Wife (30) – an MBA from a leading B-School, she is a career woman working for a top FMCG MNC)

[Scene: The Major H and his wife W are sitting at the dining table, having dinner]

H: How was the day?

W: Hectic. Very Hectic. We’re running against the clock preparing for this sudden top level meeting. And how about you? How was your day?

H: Terrible. Just wasting time preparing for the Raising Day celebrations. The Old Man is all hyper – he is sweating for his ACR and is driving us crazy with his micromanagement. He wants Officers to do the job of NCOs. Today he made me stand all day to supervise the placing of flower pots in the officers’ mess garden – and he personally came there ten times to shout at me. It’s bloody humiliating. This peacetime soldiering gets on my nerves – it’s much better to be fighting in the field.

W: Anyway, keep your Saturday evening free.

H: Saturday evening?

W: Yes. We are having a big office party at the Taj. The head honcho and all the big shots are coming over from abroad. My boss has told me to bring you along – the head honcho wants to meet all the spouses. So get your best suit ready.

H: Are you crazy?

W: Why? What happened?

H: Our Raising Day Party is on Saturday evening. It’s the main function of the raising day celebrations and all the top brass is coming. I told you that long back, didn’t I?

W: Yes, you did tell me. But now this has suddenly come up. As far as I am concerned this office party at the Taj is an official function – you can say it is a working dinner, an essential part of my work – and I have to attend. And you better come too.

H: How can I come? I have to be present at the Raising Day party. Attendance is compulsory for all officers – it’s like being on duty. And remember, as an army wife, you are expected to accompany me to unit functions and social occasions. The CO has ordered that all wives are to be present for the Raising Day function. As it is, his wife is bickering at your absence from the rehearsals.

W: The CO has ordered? The bloody cheek! Who the hell is your CO to order me around? You are in the army. Not me. Do you understand? I am not in the army. I am free to do as I please. You just tell your CO that. And as far as rehearsals are concerned, please make it clear to his wife, that so-called “First Lady” of yours, that I have better things to do than parading myself on the stage displaying my physical assets and nor am I interested in prancing around in front of everyone lip-syncing those vulgar Bollywood numbers.

H: Okay. Okay. Don’t take part in the entertainment show. But you have to be there as a hostess.

W: Hostess?

H: Well, all lady wives are required to stand at the entrance to welcome the guests. And then you have to usher and look after the senior ladies. I think you have been especially allocated to look after the wife of the GOC. The 2 I/C said that you were the most polished and smart lady wife in the unit.

W: Hey, I think you are missing the point. I am not coming for your party. You are coming for my party.

H: No. You will have to come. It is your duty as an army wife.

W: Well, when I married you I made it clear that my career was important to me. Maybe other army wives like being “eye candy” appendages of their husbands but I do not intend playing “second fiddle” to you.

H: Please understand. The CO will spoil my ACR if you don’t come. He specifically told me that you are to be present for the Raising Day function. As it is he is angry that you don’t take part in AWWA and Ladies Club activities.

W: So how does it matter if he spoils your ACR. In any case, your promotions are by time scale and seniority – you just have to pass time and wait patiently for your turn and when your time comes you will be promoted in due course. For me, I have to slog hard against cutthroat competition and deliver results to earn every promotion. That’s why I am a senior manager today at such a young age, because of sheer performance and merit. And that is the reason why I earn more than double of what you get in the army. And I have much better career prospects than yours. My boss says that they consider me a high-flyer.

H: I know all that. There is no need to boast. If you don’t want to come, don’t come. I will make up some excuse and say that you are not well or something.

W: Tell me one more thing – suppose you don’t attend your raising day party – what will happen?

H: Are you crazy? They will take action against me. They are sure to give me an adverse ACR.

W: But they can’t throw you out of the army, can they? Can they throw you out, just for not attending a party?

H: No. I don’t think they can.

W: In my case they can – my boss will fire me if I am missing when the head honcho wants to meet me. And if I make a good impression, the sky is the limit. There is a position open in Singapore and I have been short-listed. There are three others but I stand a good chance. That’s why my boss wants you to come – so the head honcho can size you up.

H: Size me up?  

W: I told my boss about you – that you were an engineer, an M. Tech. from an IIT and you were frustrated in the army doing mundane jobs.

H: Frustrated? Who told you that I was frustrated?

W: Didn’t you tell me how humiliated you felt when you were told to stand all day and supervise the placing of flower pots in the officers’ mess garden? And don’t they make you run the canteen? And make you do all sorts of odd jobs in the mess? Are these run-of-the-mill jobs worthy of an M. Tech. from an IIT? A brilliant guy like you is just wasting his time and withering away his life, and your talent is unappreciated and unrewarded.

H: But what can I do?

W: You come with me for my party on Saturday and meet the head honcho. Maybe he has something in mind for you – they may even make you an offer.



Let me give you 3 apocryphal endings to this story.


W like a dutiful “fauji wife” skipped her office party and accompanied her army husband H to the raising day party.

Her gesture was much appreciated by her husband H

With her poise and polish succeeded in impressing the top brass and their wives and the CO was delighted with H.

In Woffice, her boss was furious with W for being absent from the important event.

The head honcho expressed his disappointment at not meeting W.

Though the boss did not fire her, W was sidelined for the lucrative and coveted Singapore assignment and W was passed over for promotion.

Frustrated at being marginalized, quit her job and took up a new one, but now as far as her career was concerned, she decided to play second-fiddle to her husband’s career and put in all her efforts as a typical ambitious “fauji wife” to boost her husband’s career.

When her husband H was posted out to a new station, W quit her job, and gave up her career to become a full-time homemaker.

now accompanies her husband wherever he is posted.

As an ideal “fauji wife” is playing a great role in bolstering and promoting her husband’s army career by her stellar participation in AWWA, Ladies Clubs and other social activities.

H and W live happily ever after.


did not attend the Raising Day Party.

H accompanied his wife W to her office event at the Taj.

Hs CO was livid at H for his unofficerlike conduct of being wilfully absent from the Raising Day Party (an official social function).

H was admonished by his CO who vowed to finish him off and ruin his career.

At the office party, W introduced her husband to the head honcho.

Everyone was impressed by H.

There was a sudden announcement – W was promoted and given the coveted Singapore assignment.

And then, there was even more surprise – the head honcho offered a very lucrative position, also in Singapore, so that they could live together.

W would be head of marketing and H would be head of technology.

H quit the army (helped by the adverse ACR his CO had given him).

H took up the job offer and joined W in Singapore.

W and H live happily ever after.

ENDING 3 (Suggested by a reader - a fellow “fauji” officer)

W goes for her office party and H goes for his raising day party. 

Wcivilian boss understands the circumstances in which Whusband H could not attend the crucial office party. 

But, Hs CO gets furious because Hwife W did not attend the units raising day party

Hs CO duly spoils Hs ACR (Annual Confidential Report) and transfers him out to an insignificant appointment in a hardship non-family station in the field to teach him a lesson.

W moves to a house in a civilian area in the city, and with her husband H away, she struggles all alone to manage her home, the kids' schools and her career in the office.

After some time H gets frustrated at having to live all alone.

H also knows that his career prospects in the army are now quite bleak due to the spoilt ACR.

So H wants to leave the army, but his request is turned down, and he is told to wait for a few years till he is finally superseded for promotion.

So both H and W live miserably ever after.

Dear Reader: Tell us – What do you think happened?

Ending 1 or Ending 2 or Ending 3 – which one do you think is more likely?

Most of my “fauji” friends think that Ending 3 is most likely.

Which ending do you think is most likely?


Should a career woman marry an army officer?

There is a saying earlier that if a girl marries a military officer she has only two choices  Homemaker or Teacher.

Yes, a “fauji” wife can either be a Homemaker or a Teacher.

“fauji” wife carries the identity of husband and her status depends on his rank.

A modern working woman pursues her own career, she has her own distinct identity and is no longer content to be her husband’s arm-candy – just like the girl I mentioned right at the beginning – the girl who turned down the marriage proposal from the army officer because she wanted to pursue her own career ambitions abroad which would not have been possible had she become a “fauji” wife.

So, we all now know the answer to the moot question:

Should a career woman marry an army officer?

In my opinion, the answer is a resounding NO

Do you agree?

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
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© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

1. This playlet is a spoof, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh. 
2.  This story is a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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