It Takes Two to Tango – Stealing Affection – An “Affair of the Heart”

Things that are considered trivial in the civilian world become headline news in the military world. 

Is a consensual love affair between two ordinary civilians considered newsworthy...? 

However – a consensual love affair between two military officers is hyped and sensationalized by the media into a news report with a scandalous headline:  “Alleged affair between two Army Majors lands them in trouble” 

In the news item above – there is a rather curious quote:

“There is enough persuasive evidence against the Major (male officer) and the Major (female officer) and both are blameworthy of having entered into relationship against the norms and ethos of the Indian Army...”

Reading this reminded me of a blog post I had written many years ago... 

Stealing Affections – It Takes Two to Tango

Sometime ago – I came across a rather curious news-report about a “stealing affections” case. 

One does not know the truth about the allegations/case – and – the truth will be found out by the inquiry. 

In most “stealing affections” cases – men are accused of “stealing affections” 

But – in this case – an allegation of “stealing affections” has been made against a woman. 

After reading this news-report – I remembered a Story that I had posted on my blog around 4 years ago in July 2014. 

I had written this story after reading a newspaper report on a “stealing affections” case.

Here is the story once more for you to mull over.

From My “Humor in Uniform” Archives 

NB: This Post Was Originally Written on July 19, 2014 and revised later. Link to my original post in my blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/07/humor-in-uniform-stealing-affections-it.html

Stealing Affections – It Takes Two to Tango

A Fictional Spoof

By

VIKRAM KARVE 

NB: This Story Was Written on July 19, 2014

There was a recent news-report in the newspapers about a Navy Commodore being sacked as he was found guilty of “stealing the affections of a brother officer's wife”. 

The term “stealing affection” is the military euphemism for “adultery”.

Stealing the affection of a brother officer’s wife is deemed to be conduct unbecoming of an officer and conduct prejudicial to good order and discipline and is considered to be an offence.

Don’t you feel that the expression “stealing affection” is a misnomer...?

The word “steal” implies that you take something belonging to someone else without her knowledge or consent.

Can you “steal” someone’s “affections” without the other person knowing it...?

Is it a case of one-way love...?

Or – is the lady (brother officer’s wife) willingly giving her affections to the officer (her husband’s colleague)...?

If the lady is willingly giving her affections – can the officer be accused of “stealing” affections...?

And – if the officer had forced his affections on the lady – she could have complained of rape or molestation – or outraging the modesty of a woman – for which the punishment is much more severe than mere dismissal.

There is a difference between “sexual harassment” and a “love affair” between two consenting adults.

An officer can “steal” the affections of a brother officer's wife – only because the brother officer’s wife is “willing” to have her affections “stolen” by him.

In a love affair – the relationship and the sex – both are consensual.

So – isn’t the woman equally responsible for the adulterous love affair...? 

IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO

It takes two to tango.

Yes – it takes two willing people to commit infidelity – not just one.

Both the man and the woman are equally guilty of indulging in the immoral act of adultery.

But – in most cases – the man is punished severely – even sacked from his job – whereas the equally guilty woman goes scot-free. 

Is this fair...?

From an ethical point of view – is it ethical to blame only the man for the adulterous love affair in which the woman has willingly participated...?

Is it not a case of “reverse gender bias”...?

“Extra-Marital Affairs” and “Stealing Affections” are not new to the Navy.

Surely – you have heard of the famous Commander Nanavati Case – which – some say – was instrumental in abolishing the jury trial system in India.

As far as the Navy “Social Mores” are concerned – it seems okay for officers to “sow their wild oats” outside the service environment. 

Even in cases of “stealing the affection of a brother officer’s wife” – as long as the love affair is kept discreet – everyone looks the other way.

The Navy cracks the whip only when one of the aggrieved spouses complains – and the complainant is mostly the “cuckolded husband” – the officer whose wife’s affections are being “stolen” by another officer.

The saddest part is that – the wife of the “straying” unfaithful husband – she is hit by a “double whammy”.

First – she has to bear the social humiliation associated with her husband being accused of committing adultery with another woman – and being punished for “conduct unbecoming of an officer”.

Second – she has to suffer financial consequences of her husband losing his job – and maybe – his pension benefits – if he is dismissed with disgrace.

The financial jolt due to loss of job and income of the breadwinner can be particularly severe if the wife is a homemaker financially dependent on her husband.

The children suffer unimaginable agony too.

Earlier there were no Lady Officers in the Armed Forces.

So – the only sexual “offence” involved male officers “stealing the affection of a brother officer's wife”.

With the entry of Women Officers in the Defence Services in the 1990’s – new possibilities have emerged.

Whereas for male officers – stealing the affection of a brother officer’s wife is deemed to be conduct unbecoming of an officer and conduct prejudicial to good order and discipline and is considered an offence – in the case of female officers – will the same apply to “stealing the affection of a sister officer’s husband” or “stealing the affections of a married officer”...?

By the way – for a lady officer – stealing the affection of an unmarried “brother officer” is considered okay.

Conversely – stealing the affections of an unmarried “sister officer” seems okay for unmarried male officers. 

In fact – “brother officers” are permitted to marry “sister officers”. 

Yes – male officers are allowed to marry female officers – and there are many “military couples in uniform” in the Armed Forces. 

(Love Affairs between “brother officers” and “sister officers” are considered okay – provided both are unmarried. 

Of course – in the military – extramarital affairs are not considered okay – even though they may be consensual in nature).

It is all very confusing – so all I will say is that – “stealing affection” is an “affair of the heart” – in which – “It Takes Two to Tango...”

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.

2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved) 

Revised Repost of my article “Stealing Affections – It Takes Two to Tango” posted online around 4 years ago on 19 July 2014 at url:

 http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/07/humor-in-uniform-stealing-affections-it.html  and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/08/stealing-affections-it-takes-two-to.html  and https://karve.wordpress.com/2016/08/04/it-takes-two-to-tango-so-why-blame-the-man-alone-for-stealing-the-affection-of-a-brother-officers-wife/  and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/07/it-takes-two-to-tango.html etc

A “Humor in Uniform” Story on the occasion of Holi

Today – Dear Friends – is the festival of Holi.

Holi is associated with Humor. 

Here is a “Memoir” from my Navy Days – apt for the ocassion...

WHY DID YOU JOIN THE NAVY…?

A Fictional Spoof

By

VIKRAM KARVE 

WHY DID YOU JOIN THE NAVY…? 

The moment we reported to the Naval Academy (NAVAC) at Cochin (Kochi) – we were asked the quintessential question: 

“Why did you join the Navy…?”

Most of us gave unimaginative stereotyped answers which everyone had heard before.

Acting Sub Lieutenant “M” was different.

Sub Lieutenant “M” said: 

“I joined the Navy to drink good Booze...”

(Those days – the Junior-most Officer Rank in the Army/Navy/Air Force was Second Lieutenant (2^nd/Lt), Acting Sub Lieutenant (Ag Sub Lt) and Pilot Officer (P/O) respectively. 

In the year 2004 – thanks to the AVS Cadre Review Bonanza – this junior-most officer rank was abolished – and Defence Officers were commissioned directly as Lieutenants/Sub Lieutenants/Flying Officers in the Army/Navy/Air Force respectively – which were the ranks above the erstwhile “2^nd Lt”/“Ag Sub Lt”/“Pilot Officer” – the lowest officer ranks earlier) 

Dear Reader: After this digression – let me start telling you the story again: 

The moment we reported to Naval Academy (NAVAC) Cochin (Kochi) – we were asked the quintessential question: 

“Why did you join the Navy…?”

Most of us gave unimaginative stereotyped answers which everyone had heard before.

Acting Sub Lieutenant “M” was different.

Acting Sub Lieutenant “M” said: 

“I joined the Navy to drink good Booze...”

“What did you say...?” the Officer-in-charge bellowed at Acting Sub Lieutenant “M”

Acting Sub Lieutenant “M” nonchalantly said: 

“Sir – I said that I joined the Navy to drink good booze...” 

The Officer-in-charge and Staff Officers of NAVAC thought that Acting Sub Lieutenant “M” was joking. 

But – Acting Sub Lieutenant “M” was dead serious. 

He had indeed joined the Navy to drink good booze.

We were “University Entry Officers”.

We were selected via the “University Entry Scheme” (UES) – an “Earn while you Learn” Recruitment Scheme – which was highly successful in attracting the best Engineering Talent.

Under the UES – Navy Selection Teams visited premier Engineering Colleges/IITs/RECs (NITs) at the beginning of our pre-final year – and they interviewed and shortlisted suitable candidates – who had to appear before a Services Selection Board (SSB) at Allahabad, Bhopal or Bangalore.

Those selected by the SSB – and found medically fit – were offered a commission as an Officer in the Navy from the beginning of their final year of Engineering.

So – we were Naval Officers drawing handsome pay during our final year of Engineering – owing to which we enjoyed great prestige and relative affluence as compared to our fellow student classmates.

On completion of our B. Tech. / BE courses – we joined the Naval Academy – for Basic and Divisional (B&D) Training.

We had heard that – during his final year in Engineering College – “M” had taken his appointment letter (as an officer in the Indian Navy) to a Military Unit near his college – and he had managed to get a Liquor Card from the Unit CSD Canteen which enabled him to enjoy his full “Booze Quota” of “Military Rum” during his final year of Engineering.

Coming back to the Naval Academy – on our very first “liberty” a month after joining training – while we headed for Movie Halls and Restaurants in Ernakulam Town – Acting Sub Lieutenant “M” rushed to nearest Bar to get gloriously drunk.

In fact – “M” enjoyed himself so much – downing peg after peg of Rum – to “cure” his “thirst” – that he passed out “dead drunk” in the Bar.

Luckily for “M” – a “Good Samaritan” saw his Navy ID Card.

The “Good Samaritan” carried the blissfully “comatose” Acting Sub Lieutenant “M” into his car – then he drove down to the Naval Base – and deposited “M” outside the OOD’s Office.

This episode resulted in some heavy “punishments” and “restrictions” for “M” – including cancellation of his “liberty” (“shore leave” in Navy Jargon) till the end of the term.

The “powers-that-be” realized that Acting Sub Lieutenant “M” meant business – as far as his reason for joining the Navy was concerned.

However – “M” was not to be deterred from his aim. 

And – within a few days – he used his initiative to get access to booze.

As I told you – we were already Officers when we joined the Naval Academy (NAVAC) – and we were drawing full pay and allowances.

So – we dined in the Officers’ Wardroom – the Southern Naval Area (SNA) Wardroom Officers’ Mess.

[Yes – those days it was a Naval Area – not a Command. 

A few years later – SNA was upgraded to SNC (Southern Naval Command)...]

Of course – since we were not allowed to wear stripes during training – we dined in a separate “Gun Room” – but – we were full-fledged members of the Wardroom Officers Mess.

There were no “free” authorized rations those days – so – as officers – we paid for our food – unlike cadets – who dined in cadet dining halls in the Academy and got free food.

During Basic Training – we were not officially allowed to drink liquor – but we were permitted to smoke – and we bought our cigarettes at the Wardroom Bar by signing chits – since we were full-fledged members of the Wardroom Mess.

On working day evenings – we dined in “Red Sea Rig” uniform.

On Weekends/Sundays/Holidays – we were permitted to wear “civvies”.

One Sunday evening – while we were buying cigarettes at the Bar – “M” asked the steward for a Large Peg of Rum – and – with confident flourish – “M” signed a chit for the Rum.

The steward served “M” a Large Peg of Rum.

It was as simple as that.

From then on – every evening – “M” would sneak out from his cabin during the pre-dinner “Study Hour” – and head for the Wardroom Bar for his daily quota of Rum – and then – after quickly downing a few pegs of Rum “down-the-hatch” – “M” would  join us for dinner in the “Gun Room”.

Once our Basic Training was over – and we passed out of the Naval Academy – we could officially drink all the liquor we wanted to – especially top class premium “duty free” foreign liquor on ships.

For Acting Sub Lieutenant “M” – the choicest “duty free” foreign liquor was a bonanza – the very raison d’être – for which he had joined the Navy. 

“M” had a great time in the Navy – especially on board ships – drinking all the booze he wanted to his heart’s content – fully realising his cardinal aim of joining the Navy (“I joined the Navy to drink good Booze...”)

EPILOGUE

“M” enjoyed his bachelor days “soaked in alcohol” – imbibing all the booze he could lay his hands on.

For “M” – it was the happiest time of his life – and the Navy was the best thing that had happened to him.

Sadly – one day – “M” got married.

And – even worse – “M” got a “tough cookie” wife – who cracked down heavily on his drinking.

In fact – his redoubtable wife banned alcohol in the house – and she kept an “eagle eye” on her husband at parties.

So – “M” would surreptitiously gulp a few quick “down-the-hatch” pegs of Rum whenever he got an opportunity – followed by some cardamom (Elaichi) to mask the smell of alcohol.

A few years later – “M” landed up as a “student” for an advanced specialization course at IAT Girinagar Pune – where I was his instructor.

Every evening – “M” would tell his wife that he wanted to “clear some doubts” about the subject I was teaching him – and he would land up in my house.

Of course – there were no academic “doubts” he wanted cleared.

“M” would have three quick pegs of Rum at my place.

And then – “M” would head home feeling “high” and “happy”.

When his wife questioned him on his “happy” state – “M” would plead that I was his instructor – and I had offered him a drink. 

“M” told his wife I would get annoyed if he refused my generous offer of a drink – and this may affect his grades in the course.

M’s wife blamed me for “spoiling” her husband.

One day – M’s wife had her revenge on me.

On Holi evening – when I was taking a long evening walk to sober up from the boisterous morning celebrations – M’s wife waved out to me and she called me to her lawn.

“M” was probably sleeping inside. 

While celebrating Holi with full gusto – “M” had “passed out” in the morning after surreptitiously downing huge amounts of a deadly cocktail of  “Rum and Beer” 

(“M” had taken advantage of the fact that his “beloved” wife had magnanimously permitted “M” to have one bottle of Beer – as a special case for the occasion of HOLI 

So – “M” had heavily “fortified” his Beer with plenty of Rum – he had poured almost half a bottle of Rum into his bottle of Beer. 

After imbibing this huge amount of booze in a short time – “M” got totally drunk – and soon – “M” collapsed unconscious into drunken stupor – and he had to be carried home) 

Coming back to our story...

On HOLI evening – when I was taking a long evening walk to sober up from the boisterous morning celebrations – M’s wife waved out to me and she called me to her lawn. 

“M” was probably sleeping inside – still in drunken stupor – after his “glorious” Holi “celebration” in the morning. 

I walked across the lawn to the M’s wife.

M’s wife looked charmingly at me.

“You drank too much in the morning. I will give you something really good to cure your hangover...” M’s wife said with a tender smile.

I accepted her kind invitation.

M’s wife asked me to sit on a chair in the verandah – and then – she went inside.

After some time – M’s wife emerged from kitchen – and – with an innocent smile – she served me a glass of Khus “Sherbet”.

What I did not know was that M’s wife had laced the cool green Khus “Sherbet” with a heavy dose of “Bhang”.

Yes – she had spiked the cool drink with deadly intoxicating Bhang (cannabis)

M’s wife had slipped me a potent “Mickey Finn”.

And – I naively drank the “Bhang” spiked cool drink. 

I unsuspectingly drank the intoxicating “Bhang” spiked “Sherbet”. 

I wondered why M’s wife was giving me such a “sweet” smile…?

What happened thereafter…?

Well – that’s another story…

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

1. This is a fictional spoof, satire, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.

2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Updated, Abridged and Revised Version of My Story WHY DID YOU JOIN THE NAVY posted online by me on November 16, 2015 in my Academic and Creative Writing Journal Blog at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/11/why-did-you-join-navy-humor-in-uniform.html  and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/01/humor-in-uniform-why-acting-sub.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/06/humor-in-uniform-why-did-you-join-navy.html  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/03/humor-in-uniform-my-coursemate-m.html etc