Are You Letting Others Plan Your Life...?

For Teenage Children (and their Parents)

HOW TO PLAN YOUR LIFE 

Musings

By

VIKRAM KARVE 

ARE YOU LETTING OTHERS PLAN YOUR LIFE...?

If you travel on a road which others have built – then you will reach the destination where the road goes.

Yes – if you travel on a road that someone else has built – you will reach that destination which those who built the road want you to reach.

You will not reach the destination that you want to reach.

It is true – isn’t it...?

Since others have built the road on which you travel – you will reach the destination which the road-builders want you to reach.

In a metaphorical sense – it is the same with the “journey of life” too.

If you let others plan your life – then you will reach the “destination” which they want you to reach.

That is why – you must plan your own life according to the “destination” or goal that you want to reach.

Unfortunately – it is easier said than done.

How do you land up travelling on the wrong road on the Journey of Life...?

It all starts when you are small – at that age you are too young to understand things – and you are too immature to formulate your “Life Goal” 

The moment you enter school – your parents decide what they want you to achieve 

You parents decide the “destination” they want you to reach – and – your ambitious parents start planning your life accordingly.

Your teachers play a role in planning your life too.

And – you are quite clueless to understand anything – since you are too young to understand what is going on.

It happened with me too.

In Class 9 – I was put in the “Science” Stream.

No one asked me my choice – whether I wanted to study in the “Science” Stream or the “Arts” Stream – because probably – I was considered too young to make a choice.

In our school – there was a simple rule – only those students who were “weak” in Mathematics – were sent to the “Arts” Stream.

Unfortunately – I was good at Mathematics.

Sometimes – it is a great misfortune to be good at something you don’t like.

Later – my parents, teachers and “well-wishers” decided that I must appear for the IIT JEE (IIT Joint Entrance Examination).

I cleared the JEE – studied Engineering for 5 years – I got a B. Tech. degree – and – I reached the “destination” that they wanted me to reach.  

“They” wanted me to be an Engineer – and – I had reached the “Destination” (Engineer) – that – “They” had wanted me to reach. 

I did not want to be an Engineer. 

In hindsight – had I been enlightened enough – given a choice – in school – I would have chosen the “Arts” Stream – and later – in college and university – maybe – I would have studied Liberal Arts – especially Literature. 

However – I was never given a free choice – and – in acccordance to the plans made by “others” – I dutifully studied Science – then Engineering – and – I landed up becoming an Engineer – which I did not want to be. 

Sadly – no one ever asked me what I wanted to be – and since – I was never given a choice – nor was I given an opportunity for “aptitude testing” or “guidance counselling” – so – I too was was not fully aware of my true métier. 

So – I blindly followed the plans that “others” made for me – and – I reached the “destination” that “they” wanted me to reach.

The same thing happened during most of my working life too.

It was “others” who did my career planning.

After I joined the Navy – the HR Bosses in the Navy decided everything for me. 

The “Powers-That-Be” in the Navy decided which Training Courses I should attend – they decided in which areas of expertise I should specialize – they decided on which ships I should be posted – they decided my shore appointments – “they” decided everything. 

“Others” planned my career path – and I had no choice but to follow that path towards the “destinations” that “they” wanted me to reach.

And – I kept “travelling” on the “path” they planned for me – and – I duly reached the “destinations” they wanted to me to reach.

First – my Parents and Teachers planned my life.

Then – the Navy planned my life.

It was only after my retirement – that I had the luxury of planning my own life according to the “goals” that I wanted to reach.

No longer do I have to “travel” on roads that others have built for me.

No longer am I reaching “destinations” that others want me to reach.

Now – I am my own “Master”.

I decide my goals – I plan my life – and I “build” my own road towards the “destination” that I want to reach.

But – I can do this only now – after my retirement.

Just imagine what could have happened – if I had been given an opportunity to plan my own life in school – and travel towards the “destination” that I want to reach – rather than forcing me to travel towards the “destination” that “others” wanted me to reach.

WHO IS PLANNING YOUR LIFE...? 

What I told you – it happened 50 years ago – in the 1960’s.

I trust things have changed now – and young children are being given greater independence to decide their own destiny.

I really don’t know – so you tell me.

Are young children being given the freedom to plan their own lives...?

Or – are parents still planning the lives of their children...? 

Are parents making their children “travel” on roads towards “destinations” that the parents want their children to reach...?

And worse – are some parents trying to achieve their own unrealized goals vicariously through their children...?

If you are a young student – remember that you have to plan your own life according to the goal you want to reach.

If you let others plan your life – then you will reach the “destination” they want you to reach.

And once you have travelled too far down the wrong road – it becomes difficult to turn back – and you are left with no choice but to continue travelling – till you reach the wrong “destination”.

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)

This is a revised repost of my self-help article posted online many times earlier including at urls http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/08/who-is-planning-your-life.html  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/04/life-planning-self-help-tips.html  and  https://www.quora.com/profile/Vikram-Karve/Writing-by-VIKRAM-KARVE/Life-Planning-If-you-let-others-plan-your-life-%E2%80%93-then-you-will-reach-the-%E2%80%9Cdestination%E2%80%9D-they-want-you-to-reach and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/11/how-to-plan-your-life.html etc

Best Training Method – “On The Job” Training (OJT) – A Story

“ON THE JOB” TRAINING (OJT)

An Illustrative Example

By

VIKRAM KARVE

There are many types and styles of Training but nothing beats ON THE JOB TRAINING (OJT)

Here is a famous teaching story that illustrates the efficacy of OJT:

TEACHING AND LEARNING “ON THE JOB” TRAINING (OJT)

Noticing that his father was growing old – the son of a burglar asked his father to teach him the tradecraft of robbery and burglary – so that he could carry on the family business after his father had retired.

The father agreed.

That night – the father took the son along for a burglary – and they broke into a house together. 

Opening a large cupboard – the father told his son to go inside the cupboard and pick out the clothing and jewellery.

As soon as the boy was inside the cupboard – the father locked the cupboard.

After locking his son in the cupboard – the old burglar made a lot of noise – so that the whole house was aroused.

Then – the old burglar quietly and stealthily slipped away into the darkness.

Locked inside the cupboard – the boy was angry – and he was terrified and puzzled as to how he was going to get out and escape.

Then – an idea flashed in his brain – and the boy started making a noise like a cat: “Meow…Meow…Meow…!”

On hearing the “Meow…Meow…Meow…!” meowing noise of a cat – the family told a maid to take a candle and examine the cupboard.

When the door was unlocked and opened – the boy jumped out.

He blew the candle and pushed his way past the astonished maid.

Then – he jumped out of the window – and he ran out of the house.

The people ran after him – and they chased him in the street.

Noticing a deep well full of water by the side of the road – the boy threw in a large stone into the well  – and then he quickly hid in the darkness.

The pursuers gathered around the well trying to locate the burglar in the water. 

After some time they thought that the boy had drowned – and so – they dispersed – and went away.

When the boy got home he was livid and infuriated at his father.

The angry boy started to tell his father the story of how he had managed to escape.

But – but the father cut him short.

Instead of listening to his boy’s story – the father abruptly said to the boy: “Don’t bother to tell me the details. You have escaped and come back here – that is proof enough of your capability and bears testimony to the fact that you have learned the art and craft of burglary – and now – you are ready for the job…”

 

So – Dear Reader – sometimes it may be prudent to avoid a formal training programme and resort to “On the Job” Training Technique which is breathtaking in its simplicity:

“Entrust a man with responsibility – and then tell him to get on with the job!” 

In many situations – “On the Job Training” – OJT – works beautifully.

You can take my word for it…! 

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

     

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

 

Blog Fiction Story No. 16 - MONKEY TRAP

BLOG FICTION Story No. 16

MONKEY TRAP

Fiction Short Story

By

VIKRAM KARVE

From my Creative Writing Archives:  

Here is a story I wrote around 18 years ago - in the year 1995 

I think it is even more relevant today ...

MONKEY TRAP

“And what are we doing tomorrow?” I asked my uncle.

“Let’s catch some monkeys,” he said.

“Monkeys?” I asked excitedly.

“Yes,” my uncle said and smiled,” And if you catch one you can take him home as a pet.”

“A monkey! As a pet?” I asked in astonishment.

“Why not?” my uncle said.

“But monkeys? Aren’t they dangerous?” I asked.

“The monkeys here are quite small and very cute. And once you train them, they become very friendly and obedient – ideal pets.”

And so, next morning, at the crack of dawn we sailed off from Haddo Wharf in Port Blair in a large motorboat. Soon we were crossing the Duncan Passage, moving due south; the densely forested Little Andaman Island to our right, the sea calm like a mirror.

I began to feel seasick, so I stood on the foc’sle deck, right at the front end sea-sick, enjoying the refreshing sea-spray, occasionally tasting my salty lips.

I looked in admiration, almost in awe, at uncle who stood rock-steady on the bridge, truly a majestic figure. He signaled to me and I rushed up to the bridge.

“Vijay, it’s time to prepare the Monkey Traps,” he said.

“Monkey-Traps?” I asked confused.

“Tito will show you,” he said. “You must learn to make them yourself.”

Tito, my uncle’s odd-job-man, was sitting on the deck, seaman’s knife in hand, amidst a heap of green coconuts. He punctured a coconut, put it to his lips, drank the coconut water, and then began scooping out a small hollow. I took out my seaman’s knife and joined in enthusiastically with the other coconuts. The coconut water tasted sweet.

“Keep the hole small,” my uncle shouted over my shoulder, “and hollow the coconut well.”

“But how will we catch monkeys with this?” I asked.

“You will see in the evening,” he said. “Now get on with the job.”

We reached a densely forested island at five in the evening. 

It was almost dark. The sun sets early in these eastern longitudes.

And soon we set up our monkey-traps.

Each hollowed-out coconut was filled with a mixture of boiled rice and jaggery (gur) through the small hole. Then the coconut was chained to a stake, which was driven firmly into the ground.

And then we hid in the bushes in pin-drop silence.

Suddenly there was rattling sound. My uncle switched on his torch. 

A monkey was struggling, one hand trapped inside the coconut. In an instant, Tito threw a gunny-bag over the monkey and within minutes we had the monkey nicely secured inside.

By the time we lit the campfire on the cool soft sands of the beach, we had captured three monkeys.

My uncle put his arm around my shoulder and, “Vijay, you know why the monkey gets trapped? The monkey gets trapped because of its greed.”

He picked up a hollowed-out coconut and said, “Look at this hole. It is just big enough so that the monkey’s hand can go in, but too small for full fist filled with rice to come out. Because his greed won’t allow him to let go of the rice and take out his hand, the monkey remains trapped, a victim of his own greed, until he is captured; forever a captive of his greed.”

“The monkey cannot see that freedom without rice is more valuable that capture with it!” he said.

My uncle looked at Tito and commanded: “Free the monkeys.”

And, one by one, the monkeys jumped out of their gunny bags and started running, with one hand still stuck in a coconut. It was a really funny sight.

“There is a lesson for us to learn from this,” my uncle said. “That’s why I brought you here to show you all this.”

I looked at my uncle. His name was Ranjit Singh. And true to his name he was indeed a magnificent man! Over six feet tall, well-built, redoubtable; a truly striking personality! He stood erect in his khaki uniform, stroking his handsome beard with his left hand, his right hand gripping a swagger stick, which he gently tapped on his thigh.

As he surveyed the scenic surroundings - the moonlight sea, the swaying Causarina trees, the silver sands of the beach in between - he looked majestic, like a king cherishing his domain. Indeed he was like a king here – after all he was the Chief Forest Officer, in-charge of the entire islands – and this was his domain.

Uncle Ranjit was an exception in our family—the odd-man out. My father always said that he was the most intelligent of all brothers. But whereas all of them were busy achieving success and earning money in Mumbai and Delhi, uncle Ranjit had chosen to be different.

To the surprise of everybody else, uncle Ranjit had joined the Forest Service when he could have easily become an engineer, doctor or even a business executive, for he had always topped all examinations – first class first in merit, whether it be the school or the university.

“So, Vijay, you like it here?” he asked.

“It’s lovely, uncle,” I answered. “And thank you so much for the lovely holiday, spending so much time with me. In Mumbai no one has any time for me. I feel so lonely.”

“Why?” he asked, with curiosity.

“Mummy and Daddy both come late from office. Then there are parties, business dinners, and tours. And on Sundays they sleep, exhausted, unless there is a business-meeting in the club or golf with the boss.”

Uncle Ranjit laughed, “Ha. Ha. The Monkey Trap. They are all caught in monkey traps of their own making. Slaves of their greed! Trapped by their desires,caught in the rat race, wallowing in their golden cages, rattling their jewellery, their golden chains – monkey-trapped, all of them, isn’t it?”

As I thought over Ranjit uncle’s words I realized how right he was. Most of the people I knew in Mumbai were just like that – trapped by their greed, chasing rainbows, in search of an ever elusive happiness.

“Happiness is to like what you do as well as to do what you like,” uncle Ranjit said, as if he were reading my thoughts. “Happiness is not a station which never arrives, but the manner you travel in life.” 

 

He paused, and asked me, “Tell me Vijay, tell me, what do you want to do in life?”

“I don’t know.”

“Come on, Vijay. You are fifteen now. By next year you have to decide, tell me what your plans are.”

“It depends on my percentage,” I said truthfully.

“I am sure you will get around ninety percent marks in your board exams,” he said. “Assume you top the exams. Secure a place in the merit list. Then what will you do?”

“I’ll go in for Engineering. Computers, Software, IT,” I said.

“Computers? Software? IT? Why? Why not something more interesting – like Arts, Literature, Philosophy, History, Humanities?” he asked.

“Job prospects,” I answered.

“Oh!”  He exclaimed. “And then?”

“Management...an MBA... Or I may even go abroad for higher studies.”

“Why?”

“Qualifications.”

“And why do you want so many qualifications?”

“To get the best job,” I answered.

“And earn a lot of money?” uncle Ranjit prompted.

“Of course,” I said. “I want to earn plenty of money so that I can enjoy life.”

Uncle Ranjit laughed, “My dear Vijay. Aren’t you enjoying life right now, at this very moment? What about me? Am I am not enjoying life? Remember - if you do not find happiness as you are, where you are, you will never find it.”

He smiled and asked me,” Vijay, you know what Maxim Gorky once said...?

“What?”

“When work is a pleasure, life is a joy. When work is a duty, life is slavery" 

“Slavery!” I exclaimed, understanding the message he was trying to give me. 

 

“Slavery to one’s elusive material desires, one’s greed, slavery to the rat race, chasing rainbows. And then live a life perpetually trapped in a Monkey Trap of your own making.”

“The Monkey Trap!” we both said in unison, in chorus.

It was the defining moment in my life – my Minerva Moment...!

And so, I decided that I will choose a career I loved, do something I liked, and experience an inner freedom.

And guess what I am today?

 

Well, I am a teacher. I teach philosophy.

And let me tell you I enjoy every moment of it. It’s a life of sheer joy and delight – being with my students, their respect and adulation, my innate quest for knowledge and a sense of achievement that I am contributing my bit to society.

I shall never forget uncle Ranjit and that crucial visit to the forests of the Andamans, the turning point, or indeed the defining moment, of my life.

Well, I avoided the monkey trap. What about you?

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 2013

Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work. 

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Did you like this story?

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About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer and blogger. Educated at IIT Delhi, IIT (BHU) Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and an anthology of short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories and creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional  and academic research papers in journals and edited in-house journals and magazines for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing and blogging. Vikram Karve lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramwamankarve@gmail.com

      

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.