Showing posts with label hinduism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hinduism. Show all posts

Monday, January 12, 2015

INSPIRATIONAL GEM OF WISDOM FROM SWAMI VIVEKANANDA - HOW TO BE HAPPY

HOW TO BE HAPPY
INSPIRATIONAL GEM OF WISDOM FROM SWAMI VIVEKANANDA
By
VIKRAM KARVE


Today, January 12, is the birth anniversary of Swami Vivekananda (12 January 1863 – 4 July 1902).

I first learnt about Swami Vivekananda, sometime in the 1960’s, when I was a small boy, and my father had taken us to visit Belur Math near Kolkata. 

At Belur Math I acquired a tiny pocket book called “Thus Spake Vivekananda”.

Whenever the chips were down, or I felt dejected, I referred to the inspiring gems of wisdom, distilled from the complete works of Swami Vivekananda, for instant motivation and strength.

On the occasion of his birth anniversary, let me tell you about my favourite saying of Swami Vivekananda which inspired me and I try to implement in my day to day living.


AN INSPIRATIONAL GEM OF WISDOM FROM SWAMI VIVEKANANDA

Here is an inspirational gem of wisdom, a phrase from the sayings of Swami Vivekananda:
 
“Anything that makes you weak physically, intellectually, and spiritually, reject as poison”
 
I feel that the word “weak” is all encompassing.

The term “weak” embraces anything that creates in you a stressful situation.

Thus “weakness” includes all negative emotions and feelings like anger, irritation, fury, worry, anxiety, frustration, despondency, depression, demoralization etc, which, in a nutshell, cause unhappiness.

These negative emotions disturb your inner tranquility and equanimity, drain you emotionally and intellectually, and make you feel “weak” just like physical weakness.


UNHAPPINESS IS WEAKNESS

Unhappiness is a negative emotion which drains you.

Hence, Unhappiness is Weakness.

Unhappiness is Poison for the soul.

Conversely, Happiness is Strength.

Happiness is Tonic for the soul.

Now, how do you “reject as poison” the “weakness” of unhappiness?

The first step is to identify your “Unhappiness Creators”.


IDENTIFY YOUR UNHAPPINESS CREATORS

Now sit down in a quiet tranquil place, close your eyes, introspect, and try to think of all the things that make you feel negative,

Reflect and introspect on all your unhappiness-creators and unhappy situations.

Now sit down in a quiet tranquil place, close your eyes, introspect, and try to think of all the things that make you feel negative,

Reflect and introspect on all your unhappiness-creators and unhappy situations.

These unhappiness creators can be anything – tangible and intangible – things, activities, persons etc.

Unhappiness Creators include:

1. Toxic individuals and incompatible persons, who irritate, annoy and hassle you
 
2. Foods and Beverages (like Alcohol) which do not suit you and are physically detrimental to your health and well-being
 
3. Activities, social and personal, which may appear pleasurable, but which actually drain you out
 
4. Technology and Gadgets, like your cell-phone, which disturb your peace of mind

5. Strained Relationships, which are a source of unhappiness and cause stress in you

6. Any activity or thing that causes a guilty conscience within you

7. Disagreeable persons and unpleasant activities which are a stimulus for negative emotions like anger, worry, fear, etc and create negative vibes within you.

Close your eyes, introspect and think about all aspects of your life – your work life, your home life, your social life.

Think about all the persons, activities and things that generate negative vibes, create stress and unhappiness in you, things that make you feel “weak”. 

Then, follow Swami Vivekananda's advice: 

Anything that makes you weak physically, intellectually, and spiritually, reject as poison 

Yes, you can do it in actual life.

Just “reject” all these “poisonous” things and people by avoiding them as far as possible.

Make an exhaustive list of all your 
“unhappiness creators” – all the things and people that make you “weak” - and try to reject them as “poison”.  
 
At first you may be a bit skeptical about this approach.

But when you start implementing, you will be surprised how much of it is in your own control to prevent unhappiness.


SAY NO TO UNHAPPINESS CREATORS and WELCOME HAPPINESS CREATORS

While, on the one hand:

1. You reject the things that make you “weak” and unhappy

simultaneously, on the other hand:

2. You must reinforce the things that make you feel “strong” and happy

Say NO to unhappiness creators

Say YES to happiness creators  

Yes, if unhappiness is “weakness” then happiness is “strength”.
 
So simultaneously, reflect and contemplate.

Make a list of things and persons that give you strength and joy and make you happy and productive.

Include all the things and people that create positive feelings in you.

Then try to devote as much time and energy to doing these positive things and interacting with these morale boosting people that give you strength and make you feel good and happy.  


MANTRA FOR HAPPINESS (and UNHAPPINESS) - IN A NUTSHELL
 
To put it in a nutshell, if you want to be happy:

1. Try your best to generate happiness vibes by doing things which make you “strong” and happy 

2. Try to reduce or even eliminate negative unhappiness vibes by “rejecting” things which make you “weak” and unhappy. 

(And if you want to be unhappy, just do the opposite – keep wallowing in negative vibes by encouraging your unhappiness creators and avoiding your happiness creators).


HOW TO CREATE HAPPINESS and HOW TO CREATE UNHAPPINESS

Whenever I feel unhappy, I realize that it is because I have allowed myself to be overwhelmed by my unhappiness creators.

And the moment I envelop myself with my happiness creators, I start feeling happy.

Remember this saying of Swami Vivekananda:

Anything that makes you “weak” physically, intellectually, and spiritually, reject as poison 

(Conversely, I say: Anything that makes you feel “strong”, imbibe as nectar)

Implementing this inspiring gem of wisdom from Swami Vivekananda is breathtaking in its simplicity. 

Try it – experiment – discover your happiness creators and unhappiness creators.

Start making your two lists and then you know what to do.

This works for me and I am sure it will work for you. 

I do feel stressed out and unhappy at times, but I know why – and I know what to do – so I try my best to make my unhappiness creators disappear and overwhelm myself with happiness creators.

Wish you a stress-free life filled with happiness.

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 
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© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:
All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.
Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Updated, Abridged and Revised version of my article written more than 20 years ago and 

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT - RETURN ON EMOTIONAL INVESTMENT (ROEI)


RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT 
RETURN ON EMOTIONAL INVESTMENT (ROEI)
By
VIKRAM KARVE

Are you a result oriented person?

Yes?

Are you obsessed with the “return” you get on your “investments”?

Now I am talking about your investment in relationships - your emotional investments, rather than your money and material investments.

Do you expect a Return on Investment (ROI)?

If your answer is yes, then why don’t you try to adopt a philosophical approach to life. 

Here is a saying from Lao-tzu from Tao Te Ching:

Fill your bowl to the brim and it will spill.
Keep sharpening your knife and it will blunt.
Chase after money and security and your heart will never unclench.
Care about other people's approval and you will be their prisoner.
Do your work, then step back.
The only path to serenity.

--Lao-tzu, Tao Te Ching, ch. 9

Yes, that is the key - Do your work, then step back.

Or better still, let Chapter 2 Verse 47 of The Bhagavad Gita be your guide:

karmany evadhikarass te maphalesu kadachana ma karma-phala-hetur bur ma te sango stv akarmani 

(Seek to perform your duty; but lay not claim to its fruits. You have a right to perform your prescribed action, but you are not entitled to the fruits of your action. Never consider yourself the cause of the results your activities, but neither should you avoid doing your duty).

So that’s the moral of the story: Always do your best without expecting results and you will be happy.

In today’s materialistic world, when you invest your money you expect a return on your investment (ROI). 

Some persons apply this ROI theory to other domains of their lives as well. 

For example, they feel that if they invest in a relationship, especially marriage, they must get returns (ROI). 

As far as any relationship is concerned, especially marriage, it is best to adopt the following philosophy: No Expectations, No Disappointments, Happy Marriage. 

Apply this philosophy in your career, work life too - Do your job to the best of your ability and then step back and forget about results, rewards etc - have no expectation, expect no “return” and you will not be disappointed.

So, Dear Reader, forget about Quid Pro Quo. 

Just do what you want to do and step back. 

Do not expect anything in return. 

Just do something for the sake of doing that something – do it because you want to do it, do it because you enjoy doing it, and forget about the results. 

Remember, if you have no expectations you will have no disappointments.

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 2013
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work. 
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

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About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer. Educated at IIT Delhi, IIT (BHU) Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories, creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional research papers in journals and edited in-house journals for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing. Vikram Karve lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
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Email: vikramkarve@sify.com
    
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