Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: The Queer Couple

This story happened around 37 years ago – in the early 1980’s…

THE QUEER COUPLE

Fiction Short Story

VIKRAM KARVE

PART 1

The Kalka Mail arrived at Old Delhi Railway Station at 8:30 PM.

I hired an autorickshaw – and by the time I reached Curzon Road Apartments – it was almost 9:30 PM.

I ordered Butter Chicken and Naan from Banjara Restaurant (to be delivered home) – and then – I went up to my tiny one room flat on the 7^th Floor.

(Yes – it was a small one room flat – a kitchenette at the entrance – just one all-in-one room with a rather smallish double-bed – a small balcony – and a bathroom)

I opened my flat – went inside – switched on the geyser – and changed into my lungi.

I switched on the TV – poured a drink of Rum-Pani (Rum and Water) – and I waited for my food to arrive.

The doorbell rang.

My food had arrived.

The Butter Chicken was piping hot and the Naan were soft and fresh.

I dunked a piece of Naan in the Butter Chicken Gravy – put it on my tongue – and closed my eyes.

It was delicious.

I was savouring the lovely taste of the spicy Butter Chicken with the soft Naan – when suddenly – the doorbell rang – breaking my delicious trance.

I wondered who it was – it was almost 10 o’clock at night.

I got up – I walked to the door – and – I looked through the keyhole.

It was a man – a stranger.

“Who is this…?” I asked, in a loud voice.

“Your new neighbour…” the voice on the other side of the door said.

I opened the door.

It was a young man – fair and handsome.

“Yes…?” I said to him.

“I am your new neighbour…” he said – and he told me his name.

I introduced myself – and I said to him: “I have just come back from Calcutta…”

(Those days – in the early 1980’s – Kolkata was called Calcutta)

“I know…” he said, “you are in the Navy. You had gone to drop your wife for her delivery…”

“Yes…” I said, “but how do you know all this…?”

“We found out from the other neighbours…” he said, “we just moved in last week – we – my wife and I – we are newly married…”

“Oh. That’s good…” I said – wondering why he was visiting me so late at night.

“I want to ask you a small favour…” he said.

“Favour…?” I said, curious.

“Can I sleep with you tonight…?” he asked.

“What…?” I said – taken aback.

“I mean – your wife is not here – you are all alone…” he said.

I was scandalized when I heard his words.

Was he propositioning me…?

Just imagine – it was appalling – this disgusting pussy boy – ringing a stranger’s doorbell – and making indecent proposals.

And – he was newly married…!!!

It was unbelievable.

He was meeting me for the first time – he knew that there was just one smallish double-bed in these flats – and – he was making this brazen overture: “Your wife is not here – you are all alone – can I sleep with you tonight…?”

Bloody Nonsense...!!!

It was outrageous.

Who the hell did he think I was…? A Bloody “Queer...?”

I decided to make it clear to him than and there.

“Now you listen to me…” I said to him in a firm voice, “it seems you have got the wrong impression. I may be in the Navy – but I am not a bloody bum-bandit – and nor am I a frigging peg-boy – do you understand…? Now – you just get out of here…”

“Please…” he pleaded, “it is cold outside…”

“So – you go and sleep with your wife…” I said.

“She is sleeping with Sweetie…” he said.

“What…?” I said – confused.

“Sweetie is in bed with my wife…” he said.

It was a bizarre situation.

They were newly married.

Wife was in bed with Sweetie – pussy bumping – in flagrante delicto.

And – husband was trying to get into bed with me.

Astounding depravity – as “queer” as it can get.

Well – Dear Reader – I am a simple straightforward married man – a “puritan” in thoughts and deeds.

There was no question of getting entangled with such perverted degenerates.

It could be dangerous – very dangerous – and most immoral.

I looked sternly at the “fair and handsome” man in front of me.

“Please…” he pleaded with me, in a beseeching voice, “you are all alone…”

“You bloody filthy faggot – you want me to sleep with you in lieu of my wife…?” I shouted at him, “You just get out of here – and don’t ring my bell again…”

And – I angrily slammed the door in his face.

Later – as I lay in bed – my imagination ran wild – as – in my mind’s eye – I fantasized – trying to “visualise” erotic scenes of passionate sapphic lovemaking – being performed on the other side of the wall – in the neighbouring flat.

And so – I drifted into a pleasurable sleep.

PART 2

Next morning – I woke up at 6 AM.

I got ready for my morning jog.

I opened the door slowly.

I was dreading to see my pansy neighbour sitting outside.

But – he wasn’t there – and – I didn’t see him in the corridor either.

He must have gone into his own house at night – to join Sweetie and his wife.

Maybe – they were enjoying a “threesome” inside – AC/DC – a “ménage à trois”.

Soon – I was jogging on India Gate Lawns.

After my jog – I stopped at my favourite place – to do some exercises.

I heard a feminine voice call out my name.

I turned in the direction of the voice.

As she walked towards me – first – I admired her lovely figure – and then – when she came close and stood in front of me – I focussed on her face.

She was an exquisite beauty – nubile – fair complexion – her sharp features accentuated by the rays of the morning sun – her nose slightly turned up, so slender and translucent, as though accustomed to smelling nothing but perfumes.

I looked at her – mesmerized – I had never seen a woman who was so beautiful, so virginal, so alluring.

“Good Morning…” she said, shaking me out of my trance.

“Good Morning…” I said.

“I am your new neighbour…” she said.

“Oh…” I said.

“You haven’t recognised me – but – I have seen you swimming in the club…” she said.

“Yes – I was a regular swimmer – before I got married…” I said.

“We all admired your butterfly stroke…” she said, “in fact – we had a crush on you – so we found out everything about you…”.

“Oh – really…? I said.

“Yes – I was in college then – I got married just last month…” she said.

“Oh…” I said, “I am sorry about your husband. I spoke quite rudely to him – and I didn’t let him inside. He must have been shivering outside in the cold all night…”

“It’s okay…” she said, “he is inside now – in a warm bed…”

As her words sunk in – my imagination was aroused.

So now – he was in bed with Sweetie….!!!

At night – she and Sweetie…!!!

And now – he and Sweetie…!!!

It was astounding – this was truly a “broadminded” swinging couple…!!!

“So – your husband is in bed with Sweetie…?” I asked her.

“No. No. My husband is very scared of Sweetie…” she said, “so I brought Sweetie along with me…”

“Oh…” I said – and looked around – trying to locate Sweetie – curious how she looked.

“She must be playing behind the bushes…” my lovely neighbour said.

Sweetie – “playing” behind the bushes – “ménage à moi”…?

My train of thoughts was going berserk again.

Suddenly – my beautiful neighbour called out: “Sweetie – come…”

And – a black Doberman dog came running out of the bushes towards my lovely neighbour.

I do not have words to express the emotion I felt – surprise – shock – disappointment – or – laughing inside at myself…!!!

“So – Sweetie is a Dog…?” I asked my gorgeous neighbour.

“Yes. What did you think…?” she asked – with a hint of curiosity in her eyes.

“Nothing. Nothing…” I said.

“We’ve had Sweetie for many years – she is our pet dog. Now – after I got married a few days ago – Sweetie lives with my parents. My parents had to rush abroad to the US last evening since my uncle had a sudden heart attack and died. So – they left Sweetie with me. And – my husband is terrified of dogs…” she said.

“She looks quite ferocious…” I said – looking at Sweetie – the Doberman dog.

“Once she gets to know you – she is very friendly and affectionate…” my lovely neighbour said.

“Then – why is your husband so scared of her…?” I asked.

“He told me that he was attacked and severely bitten by a dog when he was a young boy – and so – after that traumatic incident – he is terrified of dogs…” she said.

“Oh…” I said, “anyway – till your parents come back – your husband can stay in my flat it he wants…”

“Thank you…” she said – giving me a sweet smile.

But that didn’t happen.

Surprisingly – the doberman Sweetie took a liking to me – and – I started liking her too.

So – Sweetie would spend the nights with me in my flat – while my newly married neighbours enjoyed their richly deserved conjugal delights in their “matrimonial” bed.

And – in the mornings – Me – Sweetie the doberman dog – and the lovely lady (my beautiful neighbour) – the three of us – we would all go jogging on India Gate Lawns – and sometimes – in the evenings too – to jog, exercise and play.

One morning – as I was sitting in my office – my father-in-law called from Calcutta – a “Trunk Call”.

All was well – the delivery date was approaching – my wife wanted to speak to me – that’s all.

(Remember – Dear Reader – in the early 1980’s – there were no mobile phones – no internet – no emails – only landline telephones – and – junior officers like me did not get residential phones – so – we had to speak on the office phone – and – since a “trunk call” was quite expensive – we wrote letters to each other)

“What’s happening…?” my wife asked me over the phone.

“All is well…” I said.

“Yes. I heard so…” my wife said, “you have been seen frolicking around India Gate Lawns…”

“How did you come to know…? Who told you…? Is it that bitchy friend of yours who lives on the 6^th floor…?” I asked.

“Is it true or not…? Just tell me that…” my wife said.

“It’s a dog – our new neighbour’s dog – Sweetie…” I said.

“I am not talking about the dog – I am talking about the lovely “owner” of the dog – the lady with the dog. You be careful. I will be “watching” from here…” my wife said menacingly – and she put down the phone.

VIKRAM KARVE

Disclaimer:

1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.

2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Unfinished Version of this Story posted in my blogs earlier at urls: https://karvediat.blogspot.com/2019/12/unfinished-story-queer-couple.html and https://karve.wordpress.com/2019/12/14/unfinished-story-2/