Friday, April 28, 2017

How to Spoil your Children – Teenage Parenting

How to Spoil Your Children by Laissez-Faire Parenting Style
The 
Time Inclination Money Opportunity
 Paradigm
A Spoof on Teenage Parenting 
By 
VIKRAM KARVE

At the outset  here is a quote from Norman F Dixon (emphasis mine and slightly paraphrased). 

Please read each line carefully.

The values – indicated by status-insecure parents – are such – that their children learn to put personal success and the acquisition of power – above all else

Children are taught to judge people for their usefulness – rather than their likeableness

Their friends – and even future marriage partners  are selected and used – in the service of personal advancement

Love and affection take second place – and knowing the right people” is top priority

Children are taught to eschew weakness and passivity  to respect authority  and to despise those who have not made the socio-economic grade

Success is equated with social esteem and material advantage  rather than with more spiritual values.

~ Norman F. Dixon 


How to Spoil your Children – A Spoof by Vikram Karve

Nowadays – it seems to be fashionable – to have snobbish supercilious spoilt children.

I was a strict old-fashioned father 
 but looking around  I have realized that in today’s world  where materialistic desires and ostentation overshadow traditional values  my ascetic style of parenting is hopelessly outmoded and distinctly passé

My antiquated old-fashioned parenting style made me quite an unpopular parent as compared to my more liberal counterparts – and my children do not “like me even today.

And – whether my orthodox parenting style had a desirable effect on my children  well it there for all to see  as my children are grown up responsible adults now. 

It is too late for me to change now 
 so let me pontificate a bit on the subject of Teenage Parenting.
 
In addition to the conventional vices like drinking, smoking, drugs, gambling etc  all types of new and novel temptations and addictions like Internet, Gaming, TV, sex, compulsive spending/shopping, indulging in wild reckless behaviour, breaking the law for criminal thrills are on the rise – and indeed becoming status symbols in some sections of society. 

Nowadays – there is plenty of choice available for teenagers who want to “live it up”.

For children in today’s consumerist society 
– there is no place for old-fashioned concepts like thrift and frugality 

The dictum: be happy where you are – and – be content with what you have seems irrelevant today  and nowadays  instant gratification seems to be the new mantra.

Conspicuous consumption, ostentation, flamboyance and expensive lifestyles are more important. 

Pamper your children  pander to all their whims and fancies – and they will love you. 

Of course  in the long run  they will ruin their own lives and cause you distress. 
 
If you want to spoil your children – remember – there are four cardinal factors or resources that help develop and nurture bad habits, addictions and anti-social behaviour: 

1. TIME 
2. INCLINATION 
3. OPPORTUNITY 
4. MONEY 

Let us discuss these 4 factors one by one.
 

TIME

One must have time to indulge in whatever one’s pursuits  good or bad. 

So  if you want to spoil your children  don’t burden them with too many “mundane” things like studies, sports, hobbies etc. 

Ensure that they have plenty of leisure time to live it up  develop new vices – and pursue their temptations to their heart’s content. 
 

INCLINATION

This depends on your sense of values – which are formed by various factors – your home/family atmosphere, social environment, religious and cultural taboos, peer pressure, influence of school and friends etc 

Are you inculcating the right values in your kids by your own actions...?
 
I will give you a real life example – which happened many years ago.

My friend’s son  age 15 – he lost his expensive mobile cell-phone – by forgetting it in a taxi – due to his own carelessness and negligence. 

Instead of admonishing him – my friend bought him a brand new mobile phone – the latest, even more expensive and fancy cell-phone than the one he had lost.

Obviously – the boy had no remorse, guilt or regret for losing the expensive gadget – and instead of feeling contrite and responsible  the teenager displayed a “couldn’t care” attitude. 

Certainly  this teenager will never appreciate the value of money.

Can one expect such profligate actions of parents to inculcate the 
“correct” values of thrift, frugality and responsibility in their children...?

If you drink, smoke, and party in front of your children 
 won’t they be inclined to do the same...? 

Can you lecture your son not to smoke while holding a cigarette between your lips...? 

Can you tell for children not to drink alcohol while holding a glass of whisky in your hands...? 

Can you tell your children to speak the truth or be honest  while you speak lies and indulge in corrupt practices...?

How about your friends, your children’s friends, their behaviour, and the general atmosphere and culture in the environment around your children...? 

Peer Pressure too plays an important role in developing a teenagers inclination

What are your own values...? 

If you are going to “live it up”, flaunt your lifestyle, and be corrupt and dishonest  your kids will be inclined to do so too.  

OPPORTUNITY
You have the Time – you have the Inclination  but do you have the Opportunity to do what you want to do...?
Suppose you want to drink alcohol  but there is liquor-ban (prohibition) in force...? 
Or – there exist some religious, social, cultural taboos which do not give you the opportunity to drink alcohol. 
These restraining forces will inhibit you from drinking alcohol.

Opportunity to indulge in an activity is governed by external circumstances 
 and rules and regulations – which either inhibit you  or make it conducive for you  to do what you want to do.
Enforcement of Restrictions like No-Smoking Zones, Liquor Ban and Prohibition, No Entry into Bars and Pubs for Kids – all these steps inhibit opportunity for children to start drinking at an early age. 
Parental Control is an important factor in restricting opportunity for children to indulge in undesirable activities or develop unwanted habits.

Do you want exercise parental control on your teenage children...? 
Or – do you want to give your kids a laissez faire opportunity to do what they want…? 
Suit yourself  but dont blame your children later.

MONEY 

If you want to spoil your children  make sure you give them plenty of Money to splurge on whatever they want to. 

Ask no questions – and let them spend as they please without any accountability.

“Vices” and profligate lifestyles are expensive

Give your children the latest gadgets and gizmos – expensive cars and fancy bikes  pander to all their whims and fancies  and never ask them to account for their extravagant spending. 

Your children will “love” you for all this. 

Go ahead and make your children “happy” and irresponsible. 

You have open-mindedly given your children the time, the inclination, and the opportunity 
– but finally it is the money that matters. 

Yes  it is money that helps your children sustain their Vices and Profligate Habits


TIME INCLINATION MONEY OPPORTUNITY
 PARENTING PARADIGM
 

Now – you know the 
Time Inclination Money Opportunity
 Parenting Paradigm

Go ahead – give it a try  spoil your brats  and tell me if it works.

But 
– if you don’t want to spoil your teenager kids  you can use the same 
Time Inclination Money Opportunity
 Parenting Paradigm in the reverse manner. 

You know what to do  don’t you...? 

Just remember the four key factors when bringing up your teenage children:

1. Monitor their TIME 

2. Give them the proper INCLINATION in life 

3. Restrict their OPPORTUNITY for undesirable activities 

4. Keep a tight leash on their MONEY

Dear Reader: 

Does this teenager parenting paradigm work for you…? 

Do comment and tell us your views. 

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve
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Disclaimer:
1. This article is a spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
2. All Stories in this Blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.
Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)


Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)
 

This is an revised, updated and abridged version of my article on parenting written 10 years ago in 2007 and posted online earlier a number of times in my various blogs including at urls: https://karvediat.blogspot.in/2011/12/do-you-want-to-spoil-your-children.html  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/06/parenting-bringing-up-teenagers.html  and  https://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/03/bringing-up-children-part-2-time.html etc 
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