Friday, December 2, 2016

Gamophobia (Fear of Marriage)

GAMOPHOBIA
(Fear of Marriage)
Short Fiction Story
By
VIKRAM KARVE

“Why can’t people understand that I do not want to get married…” she said.

“What happened…?” I asked her.

“It’s my mother again – now – she has found a “Boy” for me over here…”

“Here…? In New Zealand…?”

“Yes – last year – when I was on vacation in India – I escaped seeing “Boys” saying that I had decided to settle down permanently in New Zealand – and – I was unwilling to relocate from Auckland – so now – they have found a “Boy” for me out here…”

“Oh…”

“I just don’t understand why my parents are so desperate to get me married…”

“You are 30 now – you are already past what is considered “marriageable age” in India…”

“But – I don’t want to get married – so – how does it matter – whether I am past “marriageable age” or not…?”

“Well – in India – parents feel it is their duty to get their daughters married…”

“That was okay in the past – when girls were not financially independent – but today – things are different – in fact – I am sure I earn much more than most “Boys” of my age…”

“Maybe – your parents feel that now that you are 30 – you should “settle down” in life…”

“But – I have already settled down in life – haven’t I…? I have a good job with excellent career prospects – I have my own house in the best inner city suburb of Auckland – I have my own car – I have everything I need…”

“That may be so – but – probably – your parents feel that you need a husband – and – getting married will complete your life…” 

“Well – I feel “complete” already – so – there is no place for anyone else in my life – I don’t need anyone – I have got everything…”

“What about…?”

“Please – let’s not discuss that – but – let me tell you that I can easily get enough of it to satisfy my needs – whenever I want…”

“I meant companionship…”

“I get plenty of “companionship” at work – in fact – a bit too much – you know the job I do – I have to spend the whole day interacting by people – colleagues, customers, clients – I get so fed up that I just want to be alone at home to enjoy my “self-time”…”

“I meant friendship – friends…”

“Friends…? You are there – aren’t you…? Whenever I want – to relax over a drink – or – go on a drive – or I want to get something off my chest – I call you – and you come – like you have come now…”

“Yes – I am always there for you – but – don’t you want to have more friends...?”

“Actually – out here – one doesn’t need many friends – I like the social culture out here – where they respect your privacy…”

“You never had any friends out here…? Even when you were studying at the University…?”

“Of course I did. But – those days were different – now – I like my solitude…”

“Yes…”

“In fact – now – you are my only friend. I like you because you are the only one who doesn’t indulge in “matchmaking” and try to get me married – like most Indian “Expats” out here try to do – they keep hounding me to get married – searching for suitable “matches” – finding all sorts of “Boys” for me…”

“Well – you can’t blame them – can you…? They may have travelled a long distance from India and migrated and settled down over here – but – their mindset hasn’t changed – though they are physically in a modern country – culturally – in their minds – they still carry old-fashioned Indian values – that’s why they feel that it is odd for a girl to remain unmarried once she crosses 30…”

“Well – I am happy and single – I am living my life to the fullest – on my own terms – and I don’t want anyone worrying about my marriage – not even my parents – and certainly not these Indian “expats” out here…”

“Don’t pay much attention to them – but – remember – that – like your parents – their intentions are good…”

“Well – I don’t care about their intentions – but – they hassle me with all their “matrimonial talk” and comments about my living a single life – that’s why I have dumped everyone – except you – because you are the only one who accepts me as I am. Yes – you are the only one that I consider as my friend – because you don’t have any “good intentions” to end my “spinstership” and get me married…” 

“Hey – your glass is empty – should I get you some more beer…?”

“No – I’ll go home now…”

“Why so early…? It’s Friday night – and only 7 o’clock…”

“I have to go. But – you wait here…”

“Me…? Wait here…?”

“Yes. I want you to speak to the “Boy” – and – you will tell him that I don’t want to get married…”

“What…?”

“Don’t you remember what I told you…? My parents have found a “Boy” for me over here…”

“Is he coming here to meet you...?”

“Yes – I called him here at 8 – for dinner. But now – he can have the “dinner date” with you instead of me…”

“Who is the guy…? Does he live here in Auckland…? Maybe I know him…”

“No. He was working in Christchurch. He took up a job in Auckland only last week. I don’t know what my parents told his parents – and what hopes they raised in him – because – from the way he talked to me on phone – it seems he is taking things for granted. I only hope he hasn’t relocated to Auckland in anticipation of getting married to me – because – if he has fancy ideas – he is going to get the shock of his life when you tell him that I am not interested in marriage …”

“Oh. So – you want me to do your dirty work…”

“Yes. That’s what good friends are for – aren’t they…?”

“But I don’t even know him…”

“Here – I am sending you his picture and name on your mobile phone. Okay – I’ll go now – you enjoy your “dinner-date” with the “Boy” – and – you please call me up in the morning and tell me what happened…”

“Okay. Bye. Take Care…” I said to her.

“Bye…” she said – and she walked towards door of the pub.


EPILOGUE

Next morning – I called her up to tell her that the “mission” had been accomplished.

Then – I called up my mother in India – and I said to my mother: “Ma – you can start looking for a suitable bride for me…”

“Bride…? You want me to search for a bride for you…? What happened to that girl over there in Auckland…? Weren’t you supposed to meet her last evening…?”

“Yes. I met her…”

“What happened…? Did you talk about marriage…? Did you propose to her…?”

“We talked about marriage – but – I didn’t propose to her…”

“Why…? What happened…? Did you have a fight…? Is there some problem with her…? You broke up with her…?”

“No – No – Ma – nothing like that at all – we are still good friends – but – she doesn’t want to get married – that’s all…”

“She doesn’t want to get married to you…? Why…? Why doesn’t she want to get married to you…?”

“It’s not me. She doesn’t want to get married to anyone – she prefers to remain single – that’s all…”

“She wants to remain unmarried…? Strange girl…”

“Ma – you forget about her. I am coming to India for a month during my Christmas Vacations. Please have some good girls lined up for me to see…” I said to my mother.

“Don’t worry – you’ll get the best of girls to select from…” my mother said, “You are a “prime catch” in the marriage market – you are a most eligible bachelor – and that too you are well settled in New Zealand – there will be so many good girls dying for the opportunity to go abroad and settle down in that lovely place…”


AFTERWORD

Well – my “girlfriend” who wanted to remain “happily single” – maybe she had “Gamophobia” (Fear of Marriage).

But – as far as I was concerned – I surely had “Anuptaphobia” (fear of staying single) – yes – I certainly did not want to remain a “chronic bachelor” for all my life. 

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:
1. This blog post is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
2. All Stories in this Blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)
 
Post a Comment