Monday, June 8, 2015

HOW TO WORRY

HOW TO WORRY
A Humorous Story
By
VIKRAM KARVE


From my Creative Writing Archives:

One of my humorous fiction stories  I wrote this story 5 years ago, in the year 2010

WORRY AMMA  a story by Vikram Karve

“I am worried,” she said.

“Worried…? About what…?” I asked.

“Marriage…” she said.

“Marriage…? What marriage…? Whose marriage…?” I asked.

“My marriage  you stupid...” she admonished me.

“Your marriage…? But you are not getting married…” I said.

“That is what I am worried about. Why am I not getting married? I am worried that I may never get married…” she said.

“Of course you will get married…” I said.

“Really – you think so…?” she asked.

“Of course I think so – you are the most eligible girl – so beautiful – so talented – so educated – the best boys will queue up and ask for your hand in marriage…” I boosted her spirits.

She did get married.

Yes  she got married at the right time  and to the best boy.

But not before she subjected me to a few onslaughts of her terrible spells of worry.

For example  just before her engagement ceremony  she took me aside  and she said, “I am worried…”

“Not now…!” I admonished.

“Don’t talk to me like that…you are the only one…” she pleaded.

“Okay, okay, tell me…” I said.

“Do you really think we are compatible…?” she asked, with a look of doubt on her face.

“Of course you are compatible – in fact  you two are made-for-each-other and your marriage will be a big success…” I assured her.

“Will he let me work after marriage…?” she asked.

“Of course, he will let you work – didn’t you both discuss it the other day…?” I said.

“Yes  but I am worried that in the heart of his heart he does not want me to work...” she said.

“I spoke to your fiancé. I asked him very clearly. He wants you to work and have a successful career…” I lied.

“Really…?”

“Yes...” I assured her.

She had a flourishing marriage and a highly successful career  but that did not stop her from bombarding me with her salvoes, fits and spells of worry whenever we met from time to time.

“I am worried. Will I have children...?” she was worried.

She had two children – a boy and a girl.

“I am worried about my kids. What will they do in life...? It is so difficult  there is so much competition...” she worried.

Both her children did very well. 

Her son got into IIT  then into IIM  and got a very good job in an MNC. 

Her daughter got into AIIMS  became a Doctor  specialized in Gynaecology  and was working in a leading hospital.

But  her blitzkrieg of worries continued unabated.

“I am worried...” she said during one of our periodic meetings.

“Now what...?” I asked, exasperated.

“My children’s marriage  you fool. I am worried about my children’s marriage – will my son get a good girl  will she get along with me...? And my daughter….?” she said.

Both her son and daughter got the best of spouses who got along very well with their in-laws. 

In fact  her daughter-in-law doted on her  and they stayed together as a happy joint family.

And her daughter who had married her doctor colleague  lived nearby  and visited her almost every day.

Still she kept worrying.

“I am worried...”

“Now what...?”

“My daughter – her pregnancy – will her delivery be okay?”

“Come on  both she and her husband are the best gynaecologists in town. Surely there is no reason to worry...” I said.

Her daughter had a very smooth pregnancy  and delivered a bonny boy. 

Soon  her daughter-in-law had a baby girl.

Now – she had two grandchildren.

It seemed to be the end of her worries. 

She and her husband were well off. 

They had a beautiful house in the posh area of the Pune.

They enjoyed the best of health  and they were looking forward to a satisfying retired life. 

They were blessed with grandchildren  and all of them together gave the impression of one happy family. 

I envied her.

She had everything in the world.

She was really lucky. 

At least now  there was absolutely no reason for her to worry.

It seemed to the end of worries – as far as “Worry Amma” was concerned.

Worry Amma  as I called her  came into my life when I was a small boy studying in the third standard. 

She was our newly arrived neighbour’s daughter  my new classmate  and I was supposed to “guide” her and “look after her”  especially as we travelled to school and back in the public bus (there were no school buses those days). 

But  instead of me looking after her – most of the time it was she who was looking after me  and making my life miserable by her constant worrying.

She was always worried:

Will the bus come on time? 

Will she be late for assembly?

Will she do well in her exams?

She worried about her homework  and later – when she grew up – she was worried about how she looked  about her her crushes – she worried about everything – yes  everything – Worry Amma worried about everything you can imagine. 

I was her sounding board – and she kept bombarding with her worries. 

That’s why I secretly called her “Worry Amma.”

She did very well at studies.

So did I.

I thought she  like other girls  would study arts  but to my horror she too joined the same IIT as I did  and she made my life miserable with her worries for the next five years. 

And then  try as I did  I could not escape her salvoes of worry whenever we met. 

In fact  I seemed to have got so used to her torrent of worries  that I missed her whenever we did not meet for some time.

Just like I was missing her now. 

I had not met Worry Amma for over a month as she had gone on a holiday abroad with her husband and entire family.

“Hi, all alone?” Worry Amma accosted me as I was enjoying my SPDP at Vaishali. 

She did not ask if she could join me – she just pulled a chair and sat opposite me.

“I am worried...” she said.

“Now what...? Are you worried that you have nothing to be worried about...?” I joked.

“I am worried about you...” she said.

“Me...? You are worried about me...?” I gasped, choking on the food in my mouth.

Worry Amma looked at me with firm determination and she said to me: “Yes  You  I am really worried about you. Look at you. Living all alone. Eating all this junk food. Nobody to look after you. I am really worried about you. But don’t you worry  I will find you a nice wife...”

Now  I am worried.

VIKRAM KARVE
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Disclaimer:
This story is a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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