How to Build Self Confidence – 7 Tests

ARE YOU A CONFIDENT PERSON

Check Out Your Confidence Level

By

VIKRAM KARVE

 

Do you feel confident...?

 

Does your self confidence depend on your mood...? 

Does it fluctuate from time to time depending on the situation or is it steadfast, unwavering and persistent...?

 

Is your confidence level the same in all aspects of your life...? 

Do you feel confident with all people – or does your confidence level depend on personal circumstances and who you are interacting with...?

 

Does a crisis situation or adversity shake your confidence...?

 

How do your perceive your own confidence level...?

 

How do others perceive you – do they feel you are overconfident or underconfident...?

 

Are you genuinely confident from inside – or do you put an act – a fake mask of buoyancy – and make a pretence of outward confidence...?

 

True confidence gives you a wonderful feeling of self-assurance, aplomb and dignity – and this is evident and can be seen in your poise and deportment. 

 

The hallmarks of a genuinely confident person can be encapsulated in seven distinctive traits. 

A truly confident person will possess a high degree of each of the seven attributes of confidence – so ask yourself these 7 questions and check out for yourself how confident you really are.

 

THE SEVEN ASPECTS OF SELF CONFIDENCE

 

1. DO YOU LOVE YOURSELF...?

 

You cannot be a confident person unless you love yourself.

Self-Love is the foundation of Self-Esteem which is a crucial sine qua non of confidence. 

How can you be confident if you are not happy with yourself, your very own body and your unique personality? 

Indeed the first step towards self confidence is that you must first love all aspects of your own self.

 

2. DO YOU BELIEVE IN YOURSELF...?

 

Confidence begins from within and when we love ourselves and do not seek the approval of others, we start believing in ourselves.

Self-Belief makes your fearless and enables you to cope with crises – because confident persons believe they have the power to handle their own lives – whereas unconfident persons who do not believe in themselves always look for support and assurance from outside – and they try to seek help from others to deal with challenges in their own lives.

 

3. ARE YOU COMFORTABLE WITH YOURSELF...?

 

To be truly confident – you must love yourself – you must believe in yourself – and – most importantly – you must be comfortable with yourself. 

Yes – genuinely confident people are happy in their own skin and comfortable with themselves, as they are. 

You must love who you are – you must not wish to be anyone else – and you must not seek anyone else’s approval about whom you wish to be. 

Truly Confident persons are immune from the DISEASE TO PLEASE – and do not succumb to the log kya kahenge syndrome.

Confident persons are natural leaders with a strong sense of personal belonging who feel secure with themselves and who don’t blindly follow others or conform for the sake of conformance, but who chart their own course and inspire others to follow them.

 

4. ARE YOU AWARE OF YOURSELF...?

 

Self-Awareness is a key aspect of confident persons as knowing your values, your strengths and limitations helps you in developing your personality, giving a direction to your life, enhancing your achievements and accomplishments and boosting your confidence.

 

5. ARE YOU FEARLESS...?

 

Confident persons are not paralysed by fear – they rather act first and be afraid later. 

A fearless approach to life – willingness to take risks – to try out new things, innovate and experiment – and a pioneering attitude are hallmarks of a confident person.

 

6. DO YOU HAVE A THIRST FOR LEARNING...?

 

Truly confident people love to learn. 

They strive for continual improvement – and have a thirst for knowledge in order to achieve continual growth. 

They are innovative, creative – and try to make the most of their talents in order to realize their maximum potential – because they believe in themselves which gives them the determination, tenacity and sense of purpose to keep going even when others have given up.

 

7. ARE YOU HAPPY WITH YOUR LIFE...?

 

Confident persons are happy, here and now – as they are – with all aspects of their life in its entirety. 

They are content with whatever they have. 

Unhappiness and discontentment erode self-esteem and destroy your confidence. 

Happiness and contentment are a must for genuine confidence – and that is why confident persons always exhibit cheerfulness and optimism and generate positive vibes.

 

Many individuals are not very confident inside – and they lack genuine self confidence – but – they try to “fake it” – and they present an external picture of confidence by clever “image management”. 

But – trying to “fake” self-confidence – this causes immense stress due to the “fear of being found out” 

And – sooner or later – such charlatans are exposed – or they suffer nervous breakdowns.

That is why you must strive to be genuinely self confident.

So introspect and check out for yourself – how many of these seven confidence attributes do you have...?  

Introspect on these 7 tests of Self-Confidence

Discover your strengths, find out how confident you really are and in which of these seven aspects do you need to improve. 

Dear Reader: 

I Wish You Tons and Tons of Confidence

And once you have achieved the desire confidence level, you can be your own hero and this will enable you to attain high SELF ESTEEM

I am writing about HOW TO BUILD SELF-ESTEEM in my next Blog Post... 

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

1. This article is based on my personal experience. It may or may not work for you. Please do your own due diligence.

2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)

 

This is a consolidated revised and abridged repost of my self-help articles including the following posted online by me earlier at urls: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/03/self-confidence.html  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/03/self-confidence.html  etc  

DO YOU KNOW YOUR SELF-WORTH ?

SELF WORTH
What is Your Self-Worth?Musings

By

VIKRAM KARVE

DONKEY FOR SALE – A Mulla Nasrudin Teaching Story 

Mulla Nasrudin had a good-for-nothing useless donkey. 

The donkey was wild, unruly, lazy, and obstinate and would not obey Mulla Nasrudin.

All efforts to teach and train the donkey failed.

Soon the donkey became such a nuisance that Nasrudin and his wife were fed up of the donkey and wanted to get rid of it.

So they decided to sell off their useless donkey and purchase a good new donkey.

One day Mulla Nasrudin took his good-for-nothing useless donkey to the weekly fair where animals were bought and sold by auction.

“I want to sell this good-for-nothing, lazy, useless, disobedient donkey,” Mulla Nasrudin shouted.

A man offered five hundred rupees.

Mulla Nasrudin was delighted to get this unexpected high price for his useless donkey.

Then, a happy Mulla Nasrudin roamed around the fair searching for a good donkey which he could purchase.

Suddenly he saw a huge crowd around an auctioneer.

The auctioneer was auctioning a handsomely decked-up donkey wearing a crown.

The auctioneer boasted about the bedecked donkey and he praised the donkey’s strong muscles: “Look how strong and supple this donkey is – it is so hardy that it can work tirelessly for hours carrying heavy loads. An excellent beast of burden.”

Someone bid one thousand rupees.

“What? Only a thousand rupees for such a magnificent and intelligent donkey? You can train him to anything you want and he will learn in a minute. This is a most gentle donkey. Just look at his eyes. You know he is a wonderful donkey. You can let him carry your children home with full knowledge of the fact that this kind animal will protect them from any harm. For he is a strong loyal friend…” the auctioneer said.

Someone bid three thousand rupees.

The auctioneer continued talking about the donkey’s value – telling everyone how excellent this donkey was.

And as he laid it thick and praised the donkey’s superlative qualities, the bids started going higher and higher.

The auctioneer went on and on extolling the donkey’s virtues – “This is truly a Champion Donkey .

Mulla Nasrudin was so impressed by the donkey’s high worth that he suddenly bid Ten Thousand Rupees.

Nasrudin won the auction bid – he paid Rs. 10,000 and bought the donkey.

He triumphantly led his prize donkey home.

He told his wife that he had sold off their good-for-nothing useless donkey for Rs. 500 and bought this wonderful new donkey for Rs. 10,000.

Nasrudin’s wife had a close look at the newly purchased champion donkey.

The donkey looked familiar.

She realized that the decked-up donkey Nasrudin had bought at the fair was their own lazy good-for-nothing useless donkey.

She was furious with Mulla Nasrudin, and she shouted at him, “Are you crazy Nasrudin? This is our own useless donkey – you sold it for Rs. 500 and bought it back for Rs. 10,000.”

A stunned, bewildered and baffled Mulla Nasrudin looked closely at the donkey for some time.

Then, Nasrudin recovered his wits, and he said, “Maybe I did not appreciate the true worth of my donkey until the auctioneer explained how worthy this donkey was and told us about the donkey’s magnificent qualities…” 

MORAL OF THE STORY

It is true, isn’t it?

Sometimes we don’t realize the value of what we have or understand our own worth, till someone else appreciates it. 

In fact, sometimes we do not even value our own qualities and talents.

There is a saying in Hindi: “Ghar Ki Murgi Dal Barabar…”

It is high time to introspect and realize our own worth (and the worth of our near and dear loved ones and friends) and value the things that we already possess. 

The metaphor of the Donkey may refer to your own internal self worth and your own qualities which you tend to depreciate. 

So it is high time you realized the true worth of the  “donkeys” hiding inside within you, whose real worth you have not appreciated till today.

That is why I feel that the true moral of the story is that whereas we mostly realize the worth of everyone else and external things, most importantly, we must realize our own Self-Worth.

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)

First Posted by me Vikram Karve at 12/08/2012 09:50:00 PM at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/12/self-worth-is-like-donkey-for-sale.html

KUCH TOH LOG KAHENGE LOGO KA KAAM HAI KEHNA

KUCH TOH LOG KAHENGE LOGO KA KAAM HAI KEHNA

Do you want to be happy?

If your answer is YES then get rid of the Log Kya Kahenge Syndrome.

Your happiness will be in your control and not dependent on the approval of others.

कुछ तो लोग कहेंगे , लोगों का काम है कहना 

Kuch to log kahenge, logon ka kam hai kehna

लोग क्या कहेंगे 

THE LOG KYA KAHENGE SYNDROME 

By

VIKRAM KARVE

If you want to be happy, you must always try and ensure that you live your life in such a way that your happiness is dependent upon things in your control. 

If you live in such a way that your happiness is dependent upon things beyond your control, you will be a puppet in the hands of other people, a slave to external circumstances and you will have to dance to the tune of outside entities.

Similarly, if you are obsessed with seeking approval of others, and are always worried about pleasing others, if you succumb to peer pressure, then your actions will be guided by what other people would think or say, and you will fall victim to the LOG KYA KAHENGE syndrome. 

Close your eyes for a moment, introspect, and ask yourself whether you are suffering from The Disease to Please

If your answer is YES, then it is high time you read this Mulla Nasrudin Story.

MULLA NASRUDIN HIS SON AND HIS DONKEY - A Teaching Story

Mulla Nasrudin and his son were travelling with their donkey.

Nasrudin preferred to walk while his son sat on the donkey.

Soon they passed a group of bystanders, and one of them scoffed, “Look at that selfish boy. The hale-and–hearty young son is riding on the donkey while his poor old father is forced to walk alongside. What disgraceful behaviour? And it is so disrespectful. What a horrible and spoiled child!”

Mulla Nasrudin and his son felt so embarrassed by these comments that they quickly switched places.

Now Mulla Nasrudin rode on the donkey while his son walked alongside.

Soon they passed another group of people. 

“Oh, just look at that, what detestable behaviour!” one of them exclaimed pointing to Mulla Nasrudin, “That poor young boy has to walk while his shameless father rides the donkey. That horrible man should be ashamed of himself for the way he is treating his son. What a heartless father! It is appalling!”

Nasrudin was extremely upset to hear this. He wanted to avoid anybody else’s scorn, so he decided that both he and his son would ride the donkey at the same time and asked his son to sit along with him on the donkey.

As they both rode on the donkey, they passed another group of people. 

“That man and his son are so cruel,” one bystander said. “Just look at how they are forcing that poor donkey to bear the weight of two people. They have no consideration for the hapless mute animal. Cruel merciless scoundrels, that’s what they are!”

Nasrudin heard this and told his son, “I guess the only way we can avoid the criticism of others is for both of us to get down and walk.”

“I suppose you are right,” the son replied.

So they got off the donkey and both of them, father and son, started walking on foot.

But as they passed another group of people, they heard them laughing. “Ha, ha, ha,” the group jeered. “Look at those two fools. They are so stupid that both of them are walking under this scorching hot sun and neither of them is riding the donkey…!Have you ever seen such stupid idiots…? What morons…!”

Whatever Mulla Nasrudin and his son did someone or the other found fault and made fun of them and the criticism and comments of people continued forever, iterating and reiterating, and in the end the exasperated Mulla Nasrudin and his son were finally seen carrying the donkey on their own heads.

And everyone was laughing at Mulla Nasrudin and his Son as they watched the father-son duo carry the donkey on their head…!

So, Dear Reader, the next time you are overcome by the disease to please and feel governed by a desire to seek approval of others for something you want to do and if you feel like pleasing others to the detriment of your own needs, just remember this Mulla Nasrudin story.

Whenever you do something there will be three types of reactions:

1. Some people will praise your actions
2. Some people will criticize your actions
3. Some people will ignore your actions

While it is good to take feedback, you must not be swayed by the opinions of other people because a time may come when your actions will be governed by what other people think and you will fall victim to the disease to please.

Therefore, rather than get swayed by what other people say, it is best to act accordance with your own conscience and do what you feel is best.

Listen to your inner voice, seek your own approval and act in accordance with your own conscience. 

Close your eyes, reflect, and think of instances when you were overcome by the Disease to Please or Peer Pressure or the need to conform. 

When you do something, do you always worry about  “Log Kya Kahenge ... लोग क्या कहेंगे ?”

Why do you succumb to peer pressure? 

Why do you try to conform? 

Why do you crave for the approval of others?

Remember the lyrics of that meaningful song from the movie Amar Prem:

कुछ तो लोग कहेंगे , लोगों का काम है कहना 

Kuch to log kahenge, logon ka kam hai kehna

Moral of the Story:

Never worry about what others will think or say. 

Do not succumb to Peer Pressure. 

Do not fall victim to the Disease to Please. 

Do not try to conform or seek the approval of anyone and everyone.

Seek your own approval - that is the approval that matters most. 

Do what you think is right and you will be happy.

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 2013
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work. 
© vikram karve., all rights reserved. 

NB:

All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve 2013. All Rights Reserved

Did you like reading this story?
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About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer and blogger. Educated at IIT Delhi, IIT (BHU) Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and an anthology of short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories and creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional  and academic research papers in journals and edited in-house journals and magazines for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing and blogging. Vikram Karve lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
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Email: vikramwamankarve@gmail.com

Twitter: @vikramkarve

      

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