Self Improvement
MINDFULNESS
Meditative Musings
By
VIKRAM KARVE
_______
Dear Reader – before I “pontificate” on the rather profound subject of
“mindfulness” – let me tell you a true story that happened many years ago
during my Navy Days – during the days of Landline Telephones – and Antenna
Television (TV).
Those were the days when the only TV Channel was Doordarshan – whose TV signal
you received via an antenna mounted on your rooftop.
On Sunday afternoons – they would telecast old classic films – which I
loved to watch.
_______
One Sunday afternoon – I was watching a classic film on TV – sitting in
the drawing room (living room).
My wife and daughter were having a nap in the bedroom.
My son was studying in the study room.
The phone rang – the telephone was kept in the corridor.
My son picked up the phone (he was sitting nearest to the phone).
My boss had called – he asked for me.
My son told him that I had given instructions that I was not to be
disturbed unless absolutely urgent.
My boss asked my son: “What is your father doing…?”
My son said: “He is watching a film on TV…”
Any other boss would have got furious – but this boss knew me well – he
had been my instructor too – during the specialization course.
So – my boss said to my son: “No. It is not urgent. Please ask your
father to call me up after he finishes watching the film…”
________
At 4 PM – after the film was over – and I went into the kitchen to make
tea – my son gave me the message.
I called up my boss.
“Ah – so your “mindful” movie watching is over…?” my boss said.
“Yes. Sir…” I said.
“Which film did you watch…?” he asked.
“Brief Encounter…” I said.
“Ah – the David Lean film…?” he said.
“Yes, Sir…” I said.
“I love that movie…”my boss said, “I too must start watching these classic
films on TV…”
For some time – we spoke about classic films – then – my boss said: “I
had called to tell you that there is a review meeting on “XXX” project tomorrow
afternoon. Is the PERT chart ready…?”
(PERT is the acronym for Program Evaluation and Review Technique)
“Yes, Sir – the PERT chart is ready…” I said, “I will come to your
office first thing in the morning and give you a detailed progress report…”
“Come at 10:30 AM – “stand easy” time – so you can enjoy some samosa and
tea too…” my boss said.
(In the Navy – the term “stand easy” is used for “tea break” during
working hours)
________
Next morning – over a cup of tea – my boss and I had a discussion on
“mindfulness”.
Mindfulness is the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of
where you are and what you are doing.
In simple language: Mindfulness means doing one thing at a time.
Of course – whatever that one thing you are doing – you must do it with
full awareness.
Do one thing at a time – and – totally immerse yourself in the one thing
you are doing.
Don’t think of anything else.
Be totally immersed and engrossed in the activity you are doing.
Mindfulness means doing an activity with total awareness – and this
requires focus and span of attention.
A test of “mindfulness” is “egolessness” and “timelessness” – when you
do something “mindfully” – you experience a sense of timelessness and you don’t
have thoughts of yourself (ego).
(I used the term “egolessness” for want of a better word. What I wanted
to convey is that when you do something “mindfully” – you lose all sense of “self”
and “time” – so maybe – “selflessness” and “timelessness” may be more apt)
For obvious reasons – I do not wish to talk about my exact primary job
in the Navy – but – I can say that “total mindfulness” was very conducive for
performance of my job.
So – here is an example from my personal life.
After I retired – I started writing – while my wife used to go to work.
Sometimes – I was so engrossed in my writing that I did not realize how
time passed and would be surprised when my wife would be back from work and it
would show on my face.
She would say: “Aren’t you happy to see me back from work…?”
And I would say: “I didn’t realize it is 5 PM already – time passed so
fast…”
That was “timelessness” – and sometimes – I would lose sense of self while
writing and would forget to have lunch.
________
Dear Reader – let me give you some other examples.
I gave you the example of watching TV mindfully.
Similarly – you can listen to mindfully too – focus on the music – the
lyrics – the melody – with full awareness – and enjoy the music to the fullest.
I do this every afternoon – I lie down on my bed – close my eyes – and
listen to music – with no distractions.
Yes – distractions and multi-tasking are impediments to mindfulness.
Today – we have so many distractions – in addition to the conventional
distractions like people disturbing you – modern technology and gadgets have
created and environment of distractions that divert your focus and destroy your
span of attention.
You can’t avoid using modern gadgets – but – you can use them
“mindfully” – for one activity at a time – with full awareness.
For example - when you are interacting on the social media – you can do
so “mindfully” – and see that other notifications on the smartphone don’t
disturb you.
Instead of “multi-tasking” and trying to do multiple activities simultaneously
– you can prioritize your activities – and do them sequentially – one at a time
– with mindfulness.
With experience – you can learn to be mindful in all your activities.
Over the years – I learnt to do most of my activities mindfully – to
work mindfully – to play and exercise mindfully – to read and write mindfully –
to eat mindfully – to drink mindfully – to smoke mindfully.
Yes – I even learnt to smoke mindfully.
As a digression – here is an extract from my article on “How to Quit Smoking in 3 Easy Steps – Mindfulness + NLP(Neuro-Linguistic Programming) + Force Field Analysis”.
________
Do you want to quit smoking forever?
Then first you will have to master The Art of Smoking with mindfulness.
Yes – the first step towards quitting smoking is to learn how to enjoy
smoking.
And in order to learn how to derive supreme enjoyment from smoking one
must first learn the art of smoking mindfully.
Seems absurd – a paradox – isn’t it…?
I stopped smoking more than 18 years ago – and I know that I shall never
smoke again.
Let me tell you how I quit smoking.
If you are a smoker, maybe you can benefit from my experience, or maybe
you can pass this on to a smoker friend who wants to quit.
I got my clue from an apocryphal teaching story I read somewhere.
I reflected upon the story – carrying it my mind for a long time – until
I fathomed the story’s inner depth and meaning.
A Seeker asks the Master:
“Can I smoke while meditating…?”
The Master scolds the Seeker angrily:
“NO…!!!”
Another Seeker then asks the Master:
“Can I meditate while smoking…?”
The Master looks at the Seeker knowingly and says:
“YES…!!!”
The Master realizes that this Seeker is on the path to enlightenment.
This is the key – the first step – if you really want to stop smoking.
First – Learn to Meditate while Smoking.
Here’s how I did it.
One evening – I take one cigarette – just one – and I walk down to
Marine Drive – and sit down on the parapet – at the southern tip near Nariman
Point – in the cool sea breeze watching the sun being swallowed up by the
Arabian Sea – crimson-yellow petals being thrown high up in the distant sky
gradually devoured by the enveloping twilight.
Soon it is dark – quiet and tranquil – and I feel calm and relaxed.
I take out the cigarette from my pocket – and I hold the cigarette front
of me.
I look at the cigarette lovingly – and I close my eyes.
Yes – you must close your eyes – it accentuates your other senses – and
makes you more conscious of what’s going on inside you.
I hold the cigarette near my nose – and I breathe in the rich aroma of
the tobacco – gently moving the cigarette as I take deep breaths – savouring
the sweet fragrance of the tobacco tinged with the fresh scent of the paper and
filter – until my olfactory system is truly and fully satiated.
I then put the filter between my lips – taste it – and suck in air
deeply – through the unlighted cigarette.
It feels good.
I open my eyes.
I light up the cigarette.
Then – I close my eyes – I get ready – and I take a deep drag – focusing
on my breath as I inhale – allowing the smoke to permeate deep within me –
infusing a sensation I cannot describe – and watching carefully with my inner
eye as I exhale – slow, long and relaxing.
Is my system being energized or depleted – I do not know – but I
continue my “unhurried meditative smoking” – eyes gently closed – my inner
senses fully conscious, aware, observing attentively – till the cigarette is
over.
I open my eyes – come out of my trance – and instinctively – I gulp in a
huge amount of the fresh sea breeze and rinse my lungs and system.
As I walk back – I decide that this is how I shall smoke each and every
cigarette from now on – “meditative mindful smoking” – the only way I shall
smoke.
Most “smokers” haven’t learnt how to enjoy a smoke.
We keep puffing away every waking moment of their lives without even
noticing it.
You grab a quick smoke in a hurry – you smoke when you are bored – you
smoke while talking – you smoke while working – you smoke while doing some
activity – you indulge in smoking and multitasking.
That is the real problem – “smoking and multitasking”.
You smoke unconsciously – cigarette after cigarette – without even
realizing it.
Is it worth it…?
Why smoke if you don’t enjoy it…?
I have learnt to smoke “mindfully”
Whenever I feel like smoking – I shall stop everything – and I shall
prepare myself for a “meditative smoke”.
I will go to some quiet place where I can sit undisturbed, alone.
Yes – I must be alone when I smoke.
“Meditative Mindful Smoking” is a solitary activity.
When I smoke – I shall only smoke – no multitasking.
No more smoking with friends – or with tea or coffee.
No more smoking in the office feeling a guilty conscience that
non-smokers don’t like it.
No more smoking at home with my wife nagging me.
No more hurried puffs – no more mindless unconscious smoking – only
meditative, mindful, conscious smoking in glorious solitude, maintaining inner
calm and tranquility – and total awareness.
I follow this religiously – and soon I discover that the number of
cigarettes required to satisfy me have drastically reduced – and – after a few
days – I am smoking only one cigarette a day – every evening – on Marine Drive
– at sunset – just as I described it.
For me – smoking is a special occasion – requiring solitude and a
congenial ambience – and if I cannot create the right atmosphere – both
internally and externally – I shall not smoke.
When you have mastered something – it is time to let go – and move on.
One day – I feel I have mastered the “art of smoking”
I have derived all the enjoyment I wanted to from this activity of
smoking .
I have reached a state of contentment and satiety.
It is time to let go.
At sunset – I go to my favourite place on Marine Drive – I enjoy my
final meditative smoke with full mindfulness and awareness – and I toss the
cigarette butt into the sea.
It has been more than 18 years since that moment – and I haven’t had a
smoke since – nor have I ever felt the urge or craving to smoke a cigarette.
(Do read the entire story “How to Quit Smoking in 3 Easy Steps –
Mindfulness + NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) + Force Field Analysis” in my
blog at url: https://karve.wordpress.com/2020/09/16/de-addiction-part-1-mindfulness-nlp-force-field-analysis-how-to-quit-smoking/ )
__________
Like “mindful smoking” – I try my best to incorporate mindfulness in
drinking and eating too.
Nowadays – we have stopped eating mindfully.
We eat hurriedly – so-called “grab a bite” while multi-tasking – or – we
eat talking to people or watching TV or even while working.
Sometimes – we are not even aware of what we are eating.
After a meal – do you clearly remember all the dishes you have eaten and
their tastes…?
The worst is at cocktail parties and buffets – in the hullabaloo – you
can’t drink mindfully – you can’t eat mindfully – you can’t even talk to
someone mindfully.
Earlier – you could work with mindfulness – doing one thing at a time –
focusing on whatever you were doing with total awareness – but – in today’s
technology driven work environment – where multi-tasking is the norm – it may
be difficult for you to practice mindfulness – and you may be the “odd man out”
– and dubbed an “eccentric” – if you try and work with mindfulness.
Like everything – mindfulness has its pros and cons.
Mindfulness is meditation – so – you will get the benefits of meditation
– stress reduction, improved span of attention and enhanced quality of life.
But – there are “malefits” too.
Like meditation – mindfulness is best realized in solitude – while you
focus to achieve total awareness – and this may affect your “social skills”,
“people skills” and relationships – at work and in personal life – where you
may be perceived as a “recluse”.
For me – the benefits of mindfulness outweigh the “malefits” – but –
your situation may be different – and you have to take a call on where to
practice mindfulness – and where it is not desirable.
_______
Let me give you an example of how I practiced mindfulness at work.
Around 20 years ago I was the head of a design bureau – and the type of
work required mindfulness.
However – I noticed that there was too much “traffic” to my office
during working hours – with visitors wanting to meet me for all sorts of issues
– most of which didn’t require face-to-face interaction.
My predecessor would waste his whole working day dealing with these
interruptions – and would then sit late in the evening doing the actual work he
was supposed to do.
These long hours in the office had affected his health.
I had also observed that many people waste their time on non-core activities
and then do their actual work late in the evenings.
Well – I was not going to give up my evening exercise – my long
“mindful” walks on marine drive.
So – I had to make sure I was not disturbed by during working hours – so
that – I could work with mindfulness.
Inspired by Major Major Major Major of Catch-22 – I told my PA to switch
on the “red light” whenever I was in my office and the “green light” when I was
away from my office. This meant that visitors could see me in my office only
when I was not in my office. Catch-22 – isn’t it…?
Also – I told her “no phone calls” – except my Boss and the Big Boss –
and wife.
My Boss knew of my “mindfulness” – he had structured meetings with me
once a week – two scheduled calls in a day – and avoided disturbing me – except
in an emergency.
The Big Boss wouldn’t call me directly – unless very important and urgent.
My wife knew that I didn’t like to be disturbed in office – so she never
called unless very urgent.
Luckily – there were no mobile phones those days.
Some colleagues did complain that I had developed an “abrasive personality”
(due to my mindfulness) – but I told them they were welcome to have a “mindful”
conversation with me on Marine Drive in the evenings.
_______
Mindfulness is a form of Meditation.
But – unlike other forms of meditation which are done for a few minutes –
mindfulness can become a 24/7 meditation – once you incorporate mindfulness in
all your activities.
Whereas – the practice of mindfulness will develop in you the capability
to enjoy being with yourself in a blissful state of solitude – it may affect your
inter-personal relationships – even cause marital discord – if you start practicing
mindfulness in most of your activities.
(Of course – mindfulness will enhance your lovemaking experience – and you
will truly enjoy making love with full awareness)
_______
As usual – I have pontificated too much.
So – let me sum up the benefits of mindfulness in one sentence.
“Mindfulness will enhance the quality of your life”
______
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
No comments:
Post a Comment