An APPETIZING KISS with a SEXY DISH

Let me dig deep into my creative writing archives and pull out this delicious article I wrote long long back – maybe 15 years ago – a story I fondly narrated to my students and colleagues for many years – followed by a mouthwatering recipe ...

This article features in my Foodie Book APPETITE FOR A STROLL too ...

Enjoy the Appetizing Kiss with a Sexy Dish ...

An APPETIZING KISS with a SEXY DISH

A Story and A Recipe

By

VIKRAM KARVE

 

There is a thing called PERCEPTION. 

Do you know what the word “perception” means? 

It is all in the mind.

First I will tell you a story. 

And then I will feed you a delicious snack.

First, Food for the Mind, and then, Food for the Body

So, Dear Reader, read on – the story and the recipe.

APPETIZING KISS

Eggs, Vodka and a Kiss (story)

I have heard this interesting story, surely apocryphal, about eggs, vodka and a kiss.

 

Taimurlane's wife started to build a magnificent palace for him as a surprise, while he was away at the wars, but when she got word of his imminent return, one arch, the victory arch, the “Arc de Triomphe” still remained unfinished.

She went directly to the architect and begged him to hurry but the architect told her he would complete the work in time only if she gave him a kiss.

“One kiss, one single kiss, just one kiss, that’s all, and I will build the most magnificent triumphal arch in the world,” the architect said to her.

 

Taimurlane's wife was not only very beautiful and very virtuous, but also very clever.

She went to the market, bought a basket of eggs, boiled them hard, and stained them a dozen different colours.

She called the architect to the palace, showed him the basket and told him to choose any egg he liked and eat it.

 

He took a red egg and ate it.

 

“What does it taste like?” she asked.

 

“Like an egg. It tastes like an egg,” he said.

 

“Eat another,” she said.

 

He took a green egg.

 

“What does that taste like?” she asked.

 

“It tastes like an egg, just like the red egg,” he answered.

 

“Try another,” she said.

 

He ate a purple egg.

 

“How does it taste?” she asked.

 

“Like an egg. One egg tastes just the same as any other egg,” he said intrigued by all this.

 

“There you are!” she said, “Each of these eggs looks different but they all taste the same. It's the same with a kiss. So you may kiss any one of my serving women that you like but you must leave me alone.”

 

“Very well,” said the architect. But soon he came back to her and this time he was carrying a tray with two bowls on it, and you would have thought the bowls were all full of water.

 

“Drink from each of these bowls,” he said.

 

She took a drink from the first bowl, then from the second; but how she coughed and spluttered when she took a mouthful from the third bowl, because it contained, not water, but vodka.

 

“See,” he said, “This vodka and that water both look alike but each tastes quite different, isn’t it? It is the same with love - all love may look the same but each love is different!”

 

Primed by the Vodka in her veins, Taimurlane's wife kissed the architect on the mouth.

The moment the kiss was over, the architect rushed back to the palace and finished the triumphal arch the same day that victorious Taimurlane rode back with his army and banners and his cages full of captive kings.

Taimurlane was impressed with the magnificent palace and the grand victory arch and rewarded the architect.

But when Taimurlane went to congratulate his wife, she turned away from him because no woman returns to the harem after she has tasted vodka.

And what happened to her and the architect – well that’s another story...! 

 

SEXY DISH

Sexy Eggs (recipe)

 

Now, Dear Reader, here is the scrumptious mouth-watering Recipe which embodies the essence of the story:

 

The recipe for SEXY EGGS 

Now let’s talk of eggs.

In the story we had boiled eggs which looked different but tasted the same.

Now I am going to tell you how to make boiled eggs that look the same but taste different (just like the water and the vodka in the story).

 

And talking of vodka and eggs, apart from vodka, this snack goes very well with rum-pani, whiskey-soda, chilled beer. 

You can take my word for it for in the good old days when I did have a drink once in a while, [I’m a teetotaller now], this was my favourite cocktail snack which I prepared when I called people over and was appreciated.

 

Hard-boil as many eggs as you want [at least two per person], plunge into cold running water to cool rapidly, and shell smoothly. 

Carefully and very delicately cut each egg lengthwise into two halves. 

Remove the yolks carefully.

Mash the yolks into a paste.

Season with a pinch of salt, pepper and red chilly powder, and keep aside.

 

Now, comes the interesting part.

Take some kheema [mince meat] and boil it in water along with finely chopped onions, a piece of dalchini [cinnamon], tejpatta [Bay Leaves], a few lavangs [cloves] and peppercorns [kali mirch dana], badi and choti Elaichi [cardamom], a few cloves of garlic, strips of ginger, one or two fresh green chillies and a bit of salt.

Cook on slow fire [to facilitate absorbing of the flavour and aroma of the spices] till the meat is well-cooked, tender and dry.

Now, divide the cooked mixture into two.

In half the kheema, blend in a bit of mashed yolk paste and as per your taste add salt, garam masala, coriander powder, cumin powder, tandoori masala, red chilly powder [depending on how spicy you like it] and grind in a mixer into a smooth paste. 

In a flat bottom pan, heat oil, fry fine onion strips till transluscent, add finely chopped tomato, then the spicy kheema paste and deep fry till it turns nice and brown and the oil begins to separate.

Take the other half of the kheema and fry it the same way with everything else, but without adding the mashed egg yolks. Put in all the ingredients mentioned above except the mashed egg yolks.

 

You now have two non-vegetarian fillings ready.

 

Now use your imagination and prepare a few more non-vegetarian and vegetarian fillings both with and without the mashed egg yolk paste.

 

Here are some ideas:

 

Mayonnaise, cooked chopped fish, salt and pepper. 

Mayonnaise, chopped peanuts, salt, chilly powder or mustard paste.
 

Soft Butter, Cheese, Chilly, Pepper and Salt or so many combinations of spiced up cheese with finely chopped green chillies and tomatoes, mustard paste, and all the sauces you want to blend in.

Let your culinary imagination run wild.

 

Now carefully stuff in these delicious fillings into the cavities of the eggs in place of the removed yolks and delicately rejoin and press together the two halves so that it looks like a boiled egg.

 

Now you can either:

(a) dip these eggs in seasoned besan paste and deep fry into crisp pakoras and enjoy the appetizing snack nice and hot along with your drink

or

(b) just chill the stuffed eggs in your fridge and relish them with tomato sauce or green chutney or maybe with a yummy lip smacking dip like a tomato dip or a cheese chilly dip or a green dip which I will tell you about later.

PERCEPTION IS LIKE SEX – IT IS ALL IN THE MIND

Now pull out your Rum Paani, Whisky Soda, Chilled Beer, or just some good old Neat Vodka on the Rocks. 

Say cheers, and bash on regardless...!

 

All the eggs look the same but taste different, don’t they...? 

 

Well, Dear Reader, that, in a nutshell, is PERCEPTION :

 

Some things look the same but taste different

and

Some things look different but taste the same

 

Perception is like Sex – it is all in the mind – isn’t it?

Cheers !!!

I hope you enjoyed the Appetizing Kiss with the Sexy Dish.

VIKRAM KARVE

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Disclaimer:

All Stories in this Blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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Revised Version of My Article Written by Me Vikram Karve in the year 2000 and earlier posted online my creative writing blog by me Vikram Karve at url: http://creative.sulekha.com/a-story-and-a-recipe-eggs-vodka-and-a-kiss_344028_blog