COMPARISON AND COMPETITION
The Road to Unhappiness
Musings
By
VIKRAM KARVE
Are
you comfortable with yourself?
Are
you happy and content as you are – physically (your body, your looks) etc – materially
(money, possessions, career, “success”, “achievements” etc)?
Have
you stopped striving for “more” (of anything)?
Are
you living the life you always wanted to live?
If
this is so, then you do not need to read this article, because you are happy.
True
happiness lies being comfortable with yourself – in being content with what you
have and who you are.
You
have reached a blissful state where you have stopped “comparing” and “competing”.
Comparison
and Competition are two evils which are detrimental to happiness.
I have learnt that if you want to be
happy and content you must live a non-comparative and non-competitive life.
Now,
the converse is also true.
If you want to feel unhappy and
frustrated all you have to do is to live a comparative and competitive life.
It’s
that simple – you can take my word for it.
Tell
me – what is the best way to feel miserable?
“Compare”
– yes, compare yourself with someone who you feel is “better off” as compared
to you.
This
comparison will create a sense of inferiority complex in you, and, in turn, this will arouse envy which will urge you to “compete” with that person.
Comparison
leads to competition – and this spiral can go on and on endlessly – yes, “comparison”
and “competition” are inextricably intertwined.
I
don’t understand why people keep comparing with others.
Some
even compare their own children with others’ children.
When
I was in the Navy, I observed some careerist officers indulging in ruthless
competition due to this comparison virus.
Even
Navy Wives were afflicted by the comparison virus.
One navy wife was unhappy because her neighbour’s husband acquired a car (those days
most naval officers had scooters/motorcycles and could not afford to buy a car).
Another navy wife was unhappy because her friend’s husband was doing extremely well in his navy career and
was deputed abroad for a prestigious course.
Many
“laid back” officers were spurred into overweening unbridled careerism by their wives who
had become competitive and ambitious after being infected by the comparison
virus.
Comparison
can also make you try to become someone else (the person with whom you are
comparing).
You
see someone with 6 pack abs, and you want to have 6 pack abs (though you are quite
fit and healthy).
I
have seen so many persons, men and women, who get obsessed with their external
appearance due to comparison with others.
Comparison
happens at work, at home, in society, in families, in daily life among friends
and peers – people are comparing everything, animate and inanimate, their jobs,
their salaries, their spouses, their children, their homes, their cars, their
possessions, even their pets.
You
compare, and you want to be like the other person – you may even want to be in
the other person’s shoes.
You
compare, and you want something belonging to that person.
You
compare, and you stop being happy as you are.
You
compare, and you are not content with whatever you have got.
Once
you are infected by the virus of “comparison” you will not be comfortable with
yourself – you will not be happy with yourself as you are – and you will try to
be someone else.
Do
you want to be yourself?
Or
do you want to be someone else?
Here
is a fable that illustrates the dangers of trying to be someone else.
THE STORY OF THE EXOTIC GOAT
A Fable
Narrated By
VIKRAM KARVE
Once there lived a Goat – an ordinary looking goat - who lived wild and free in the mountains.
One day while grazing in the forest, the goat saw a Giraffe, and the goat said to himself:
“I wish my neck was as long as the giraffe.”
Lo and Behold!
The goat’s neck suddenly became as long as the giraffe’s.
Delighted, that he could now see far and wide, the goat saw an Eagle flying high in the sky.
“I wish I had wings like that eagle,” wished the goat.
And instantaneously, wings appeared on the goat’s body.
Thrilled, the goat flapped its newly acquired wings, when he suddenly he spotted a Tortoise.
The goat admired the beautiful hard shell of the tortoise, and said to himself:
“I wish I had a strong hard invincible body like the shell of the tortoise.”
Instantly his wish was granted – the goat’s back turned into the shell of a tortoise.
The goat felt ecstatic and impregnable, till he suddenly saw a sleek Cheetah speeding across the horizon running at high speed.
“I wish I had legs like the Cheetah,” the goat wished.
And miracle of miracles, the goat’s legs immediately became like the Cheetah.
Now the goat was truly overjoyed, on cloud nine, till he saw the enchanting sight of a beautiful Peacock with majestic feathers dancing magnificently.
“I wish I had gorgeous feathers like the peacock,” the goat wished.
And in a jiffy the goat’s wish was granted, and the goat now had dazzling copious plume of colourful feathers.
Adorned with the neck of a giraffe, the wings of an eagle, the shell of a tortoise, the legs of a Cheetah and the feathers of a peacock, the Goat felt jubilant, supreme, regal, on top of the world, and strutted around grandiosely in majestic pride.
A Hunter passing by suddenly saw this unique stunning creature.
He looked at the marvelous creature and he could not believe his eyes.
The hunter stared in fascination and gawked enthralled at the sight before him.
Was this an animal, or was this a bird, or was this a reptile?
What a fantastic creature!
The hunter was totally mesmerized at this bizarre, exotic and fascinating creature which he had never seen before.
After looking spellbound at the fantastic “Goat” for some time, the hunter recovered his wits and decided to capture this exotic priceless gem.
So the hunter cast his net, caught the exotic “Goat”.
Then he sold this amazing “never-seen-before” unique “one-of-its-kind” exclusive creature at an astronomical price to the zoo.
Large crowds gathered at the zoo, and everyone gaped in awe at this astonishingly exotic creature, fascinated by the awesome sight.
The exotic “Goat” spent the rest of his life in captivity locked up in a cage, weeping and crying.
He was filled with agony when he saw some ordinary looking goats wandering freely and eating grass outside the cage.
He looked wistfully at the ordinary goats, his erstwhile fellow brethren.
These ordinary looking goats were wandering about freely and unnoticed in the zoo gardens while the exotic beautiful goat was locked up in a cage.
The exotic goat wished he too were free to roam around like the ordinary goats.
The exotic goat wondered why the ordinary goats did not recognize him.
Depressed at having lost his freedom, the exotic goat spent the rest of his life in captivity filled with sadness and remorse.
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Be Yourself.
Be Comfortable with Yourself.
Be Happy as you are.
Do not compare with others.
Do not compete with others.
Do not try to be someone else.
VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
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© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
Disclaimer:
1. These are my personal views. Please do your own due diligence while selecting a philosophy of life.
2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.
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