A LESSON I LEARNT FROM A “DOCKYARD
MATEY”
Story from My Navy
Days
Short Fiction
By
VIKRAM KARVE
This Story happened around 45 years ago in the mid 1970’s
“You bloody
“Dope-Entry” Technical Officers are “good for nothing”. I will show you how to
take charge of those lazy Dockyard buggers…” our Captain bellowed at my Boss.
(By the epithet “Dope-Entry” – the Captain was
referring to the fact that my boss was a “Direct Entry” Officer – actually he
was a “University Entry” Graduate Engineer Officer – but colloquially – both
entries were derisively called “Dope Entry” by the “Cadet Entry” Officers who
considered themselves “cat’s whiskers” prima donnas…)
“Let’s go the dockyard
workshop…” the Captain said to my boss, “I will personally “sort out” those lazy
shirkers and get them moving by giving them a “kick on their backsides”….”
The Captain put on
his peaked cap and marched out of his cabin.
My boss said: “Sir –
I will get my cap…” – and he went towards his cabin.
I tried to slink away
and disappear.
Suddenly – the
Captain looked at me – and – he shouted at me:
“You too – come with
me – you will learn and thing or two of how to “Take Charge” – “Executive
Style”…”
(The Captain was implying that “Taking Charge”
was the hallmark of the “Executive” Branch…)
Soon – we were
marching in the hot summer sun towards the “Test Centre” which was around half
a kilometer away – my Boss marching in step with the Captain – and “yours
truly” – me – following meekly like “Mary’s Little Lamb”.
(Those days – Captains of Ships did not get
staff cars. The only Captains who enjoyed this privilege were Captains of the Aircraft
Carrier and Hydrographic Survey Ships who lowered their ship’s jeep on the
jetty for their use ashore…)
Dear Reader – while
we walk towards our destination – let me tell you a bit of the background to
this story.
Our ship – a
front-line warship of the fleet – a Frigate – was in “refit” ever since the
Captain had taken over command a few months ago.
So – the ship had not
sailed even a single day under his command.
This meant that – as
far as his ACR was concerned – all these days – with the ship in the docks – or
– tied up alongside on the jetty ashore – all these days were a waste of time –
since – for a Captain in command of a ship – it was his performance at Sea
which was critical for his ACR.
(The acronym ACR stands for Annual Confidential
Report – the Performance Appraisal Report – the “be-all and end-all” criterion
for promotion in the Navy/Military – and – for a Captain – an outstanding Sea
Command ACR was most critical for promotion to Flag Rank)
Our Captain’s
“rivals” for promotion – the Captains of other ships in the fleet – they were
sailing extensively and “earning” their Sea Command ACRs – with their ships
participating in exercises and evolutions.
Yes – while his
“rival” Captains were demonstrating their seamanship, professional and command skills
to the Fleet Commander – and clocking points on their ACRs – our Captain was
falling far behind and losing out in the “ACR Race”.
And so – our Captain
was desperate to catch up fast with his “rivals”.
He could do this only
when the ship’s refit was complete – since – only after the refit was complete
would our ship be able to join the fleet at sea.
Hence – our Captain
was anxious that the ship’s refit be completed at the earliest – at least on
schedule – but it seemed that the refit completion was being delayed because of
a “Genset” (Generator aka Alternator) – which had still
not been fitted on board ship after overhaul.
“Don’t worry, Sir –
the “Genset” will be fitted on time – all trials will be done – and we will be
ready to sail next week for the exercise…” my boss assured the Captain.
But – the Captain shouted
at our boss:
“You keep saying the
same thing again and again – but nothing is happening on ground. There is just
one week left for the big exercise – and – I have to sail – otherwise – I will
be “written off” – do you understand…? I can’t become an Admiral if my ship is
tied up alongside on the jetty. I have assured the Fleet Commander that I will
sail and take part in the exercise. In fact – I have requested him to sail on
board our ship – as the Flag Ship…”
“Sir – don’t worry –
the dockyard will get the ship ready on time…” my boss said.
“I don’t think so –
the way they are working – they seem to be in no hurry at all…” the Captain
said.
“Sir – I will speak
to the concerned dockyard officers…” my boss said.
“What…? “Speak”…? You
are going to “speak” to them…? They need a “kick on their bloody backsides” to
get them moving – and – I am going to show you how it is done…” the Captain
bellowed at my boss, ““You bloody “Dope-Entry” Technical Officers are “good for
nothing”. I will show you how to take charge of those lazy Dockyards buggers…”
And so – we were
marching in the hot summer sun towards the “Test Centre” – which was around
half a kilometer away – my Boss marching in step with the Captain – and “yours
truly” – me – following meekly like “Mary’s Little Lamb”.
We reached the “Test
Centre” at 10 AM.
It was hot inside the
“Test Centre” – and – after a long walk in the blazing sun – we were sweating
profusely.
My Boss pointed
towards the “Genset” on the “Test Bed” and said to the Captain: “Sir – that is
our ship’s “Genset”…”
“I can see that…” the
Captain said, “but where is everyone…?”
“Sir – they must have
gone for their “Tea Break”…” my boss said.
“What nonsense…!!!
Now – it is “Tea Break” – soon it will be “Lunch Break” – then – they will
“secure” – when the hell do these dockyard sluggards do some useful work…? the
Captain remarked derisively.
After a few minutes –
a “Dockyard Matey” sauntered in – he walked towards the “Test Bed” in a most
casual and leisurely manner – and he stood next to the “Genset”.
(Dear Reader –
Let me explain the Naval Term “Dockyard
Matey” – a term of endearment.
In the Navy –
Dockyard Workmen are affectionately called “Dockyard Mateys”.
“Dockyard
Matey” is the traditional nickname for Non-Navy Civilian Personnel working in a
Naval Dockyard.
You will be
surprised to know that the Navy probably has more civilian personnel than men
in uniform.
Yes – there are
a large number of “Naval Civilians” in dockyards, depots, repair yards, shore
establishments etc.
In fact – most
of the maintenance and logistics units of the Navy have a significant
proportion of civilian personnel.
A large
majority of the Naval Civilian Personnel work in the two premier Naval
Dockyards which play the vital role in keeping warships and submarines in good
repair – seaworthy and fighting fit.
“Dockyard
Mateys” are tradesmen – ranging from highly skilled/experienced technical
experts right down to semi-skilled/unskilled workers
(the
designation “unskilled” is a misnomer because even the USLs (Unskilled Labour)
are highly proficient workmen).
Except for a
handful of Navy Sailors in a few departments – Naval Dockyards are staffed
entirely by Civilian Personnel.
But – Naval
Dockyards are entirely “commanded” and managed by Uniformed Naval Officers.
Yes – the
Admiral Superintendent, General Managers, Managers, Deputy Managers and
Assistant Managers are Technical Officers of the Navy.
For a Naval
Officer of the Technical Branches – a Dockyard Appointment is considered a
Prestigious “Criteria” Appointment.
(I have served
a total of 10 years of my long Navy career in both the premier Naval Dockyards
in Mumbai and Vizag)
Whereas the
Naval Fleets/Flotillas are the frontline afloat component of the Navy – the
Naval Dockyards (which keep the Warships/Submarines in good repair and fighting
fit) can be considered as the “frontline” shore-based component of the Navy.
So – Uniformed
Navy Sailors on board Seagoing Naval Warships afloat – and Civilian Navy “Dockyard
Mateys” in Naval Dockyards ashore – both play a significant role in keeping the
Navy fighting fit…)
After this digression – let’s
continue with our story…
“Hey, you – “is this “Genset” ready…?” the Captain shouted at the “Dockyard
Matey”.
“I don’t know – ask the supervisor …” the “Dockyard
Matey” said nonchalantly.
“Where is the supervisor…” the Captain asked the
“Dockyard Matey”.
“He will come…” the “Dockyard Matey” said.
“Go get me a glass of water…” the Captain said to the
“Dockyard Matey”.
“It is not my job to get water…” the “Dockyard Matey” said rudely to the Captain – looking him in the
eye.
We were appalled on hearing the Dockyard Matey’s words.
There was stunned silence – a grotesque silence.
No one knew what to say – especially the Captain – who
was looking dumbfounded by the Dockyard Matey’s curt refusal to comply with his
“order”.
The Captain’s simple order to get a glass of water to
drink – had elicited a terse reply from the Dockyard Matey: “It
is not my job to get water…”
This had never happened to the Captain before – no one had ever directly disobeyed his order and answered him back in an insolent manner.
That is why he was struck dumb – not knowing what to say.
Luckily – the Supervisor arrived.
The Supervisor was a Senior Foreman.
He looked at us – and he must have observed us
sweating in the heat.
The Senior Foreman looked at the “Dockyard Matey” and
told him: “Go and get some cold water for all the Officers…”
The “Dockyard Matey” walked away – and soon – he
returned with a tray carrying 3 glasses of cold water – for us to drink.
This incident taught me a lesson I never forgot:
“Never give orders to men who are not under your direct command”.
I followed this principle scrupulously in my Naval
Career – on Ships – in Dockyards – and especially in Inter-Service Institutions
like IAT Pune – where I served later.
Yes – this principle was especially applicable in
places where you had people from various organisations serving together – each
with its different unique culture.
The incident I described above in the Naval Dockyard happened in the
mid-1970s.
A similar incident happened in IAT Pune around 10
years later in the mid-1980s – when I was posted on the faculty of the Naval
Wing at IAT.
IAT Pune was a true inter-service institution.
We had Officers from the Army, Navy and Air Force –
both on the Faculty (Staff) – and a large number of “Student” Officers
undergoing various Advanced/Post-Graduate Courses in state-of-the-art Military
Technologies.
We had Civilian Scientists – mostly on the Teaching
Staff.
We had a large Civilian Administrative Staff.
And – we had a few Soldiers, Sailors and Airmen – in
the 3 Service Wings.
The Head of the Organisation – Director and Dean –
colloquially called “The Dean” – was an Officer of the rank of
Major-General/Rear-Admiral/Air-Vice-Marshal/Scientist by rotation.
The newly arrived Dean (a Major General) was not happy
with the upkeep of the large verdant campus – so – he pulled up and admonished the
OC Adm (Officer-in-Charge Administration).
The “OC Adm” was a Colonel – a “hot shot” go-getter
officer – handpicked by the Dean.
In fact – the Dean had brought him along from his previous
organization.
The “OC Adm” called the “Estate Officer” (a Major) –
and – the “OC Adm” asked him about the shabby state of the campus.
“Sir – the Civilian Gardeners are very lazy – they
don’t work properly…” the Estate Officer said.
There were quite a large number of civilian gardeners
in IAT.
The good gardeners were deployed to maintain the
gardens in the bungalows of senior officers – and prestigious places – like the
officers’ mess lawns/garden – and – the lawns/ garden in front of the main
building.
The remaining “demotivated” gardeners were deployed to
maintain the huge verdant campus – which involved cutting grass and trimming
bushes which were growing wild all over.
They seemed to be “malingering” and shirking their
duties – and this had resulted in the unkempt appearance all over.
The “go-getter” high-flier “OC Adm” tried his best to
“motivate” these lazy indifferent gardeners – but his efforts failed.
These indolent slothful gardeners just would not
deliver the results the “OC Adm” wanted – and – the “OC Adm” was “pulled up” and
admonished for the second time by the Dean.
The “OC Adm” sat in his office and thought about.
It was impossible to make these civilian gardeners
work.
So – why not ask Soldiers to do the job…?
(A
“Standard Solution” we see used everywhere – if Civilians don’t do their job –
call in the Army to do their job)
And – since IAT was an inter-service institution – why
not rope in Sailors and Airmen too to join the Soldiers – and – order them to get
the campus cleaned up…?
He decided to order a “Shramdan”.
If you have served in the Military – you would be
familiar with the term “Shramdan”.
Literally speaking – “Shramdan” means “donation of labour” – and by its very nature – a “donation”
is always voluntary – so – ipso facto – “Shramdan”
is also voluntary.
But – in the Military – you are “ordered” to “volunteer”
– so – Soldiers, Sailors and Airmen were “ordered” to “volunteer” for “Shramdan” and clean up the campus.
(Of course – “OC Adm” didn’t have the guts to call the civilian staff to
participate in the “Shramdan”.
He had failed to make civilian gardeners do the job for which they were
paid their salary – so – he was apprehensive about asking civilian scientists
and administrative staff to do “Shramdan”.
So – only the Military Personnel – Soldier, Sailors and Airmen – were “ordered”
by the “OC Adm” to do “Shramdan” and clean up the campus.)
The response of the 3 Service Wings to the “Shramdam” order of the “OC Adm” was as
follows:
The Air Force Boss said:
“I am not going to order my
Airmen to cut grass. It is not their job.”
The Navy Boss said:
“Well – as far as the Navy is
concerned – “Shramdan” is purely voluntary. If some Sailors want to voluntarily
go and do “cleanship” – they are welcome to do so.”
The Army Boss told his Officers:
“I want 100%
attendance of all Soldiers in this “Shramdan”. In fact – I want all Officers to
participate as well. I will be there personally to supervise.”
So – in the end – it was the Soldiers who did the job
meant for civilian gardeners – cutting grass, trimming bushes and clearing wild
growth – and they painstakingly and laboriously cleaned up the campus – while everyone else watched from the
sidelines.
And – I am sure that the “OC
Adm” learnt the same lesson that I had learnt from the “Dockyard Matey”
incident – because – later – he was always seen consulting his Navy, Air Force
and Scientist Colleagues before passing any instructions/orders.
VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve
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Disclaimer:
1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
2. All Stories in this Blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
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Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)
Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)
