The Ladies’ Oracle – A Book for My “Girlfriends”

Bibliotherapy – The Ladies’ Oracle – Guide on Matters of Love and Life

THE LADIES ORACLE

A Fascinating Book 

By  

VIKRAM KARVE

BIBLIOTHERAPY

Reading can be fun. 

Reading can also be therapeutic. 

Bibliotherapy may be defined as the use of books to help people solve problems.

Yes – you can benefit from bibliotherapy – use books to solve issues that you may be facing at a particular time  

Many of us use bibliotherapy without realizing it. 

Reading is ameliorative in nature – and – an enjoyable read always cheers you up – and puts you in a good mood.

Whenever I am in a blue mood – I browse through my bookshelves and pick up a good book.  

For me – reading is the greatest of all joys.

The moment I start reading a book – I enter a different world – and this change of environment has a positive effect on my mood and emotion – and lo and behold – my spirits are uplifted. 

Those who do not have the habit of reading remain imprisoned in their moods and immediate surroundings.

I have just picked up a delightful little book called  “The Ladies Oracle”  by Cornelius Agrippa from my bookcase.

Here is a picture of the title page of my copy the book: 

THE LADIES’ ORACLE By Cornelius Agrippa

THE LADIES’ ORACLE By Cornelius Agrippa  

Let me tell you about this intriguing book The Ladies’ Oracle and you will see how this book can cheer you up and lifts your spirits too – an ideal book for BIBLIOTHERAPY .

Whenever I buy a book – I write down the date and place of purchase on its first page. 

I have duly recorded that I bought The Ladies Oracle on 14 February 1989 – on Valentine’s Day – more than 28 years ago – on the pavement bookstalls opposite the Central Telegraph Office (CTO) near Hutatma Chowk (Flora Fountain) at Fort in Mumbai (then called Bombay).

I don’t remember what prompted me to buy The Ladies Oracle. 

Maybe – I wanted to present the book to my darling wife 

Or maybe – because there was no such book as “The Gentleman’s Oracle” – at the pavement bookstall.

But that is not important now.

So – let’s talk more about this amusing little book.

HOW TO USE THE LADIES ORACLE FOR BIBLIOTHERAPY

Let’s get down to using this delightful oracle.

First choose a question from the ninety five listed in the book from pages (v) to (viii) numbered 5 to 100

(I wonder where the first five questions are?)

I select question number 35: 

Shall I always enjoy good health...?

Now as per the the instructions – I turn to page (i) – I close my eyes – and I put my finger on the “Table of Signs”

I open my eyes and I see that – I have placed my finger on the “sign” representing a single square.

Now – I consult the table starting from page 10 – I follow the line marked by the number of the question (35^th  line) – till I arrive at the column which has the chosen “sign” over it – and this figure gives me the number of the page (74) on which the answer is written.

I open page 74 – and I look the “sign” traced by my finger (a single square) – and alongside the “sign” I find my answer: 

You will always have joy, health and prosperity...!!!

Fantastic...!!! 

I am feeling good already. 

Bibliotherapy seems to be working.

Now the next question, number 15: 

How many lovers shall I have...? 

I follow the same earlier procedure as stipulated in the instructions – and – the Oracle gives me the answer: 

You will have a great many lovers – but those that have so many lovers – they generally choose the worst...!!!

Hey – I have to be careful in love…!!!

The next question, number 91: 

What opinion has the world of me...?

The Oracle answers: 

You are thought to have had more than one adventure...!!!

Wow...! 

Have I really sown my wild oats that much...?

I ask the oracle: 

Shall I be happy in love...? 

And the oracle says: 

You will find more pain than pleasure...!

Oh, Dear…!!!

I better steer clear of falling in love...!!!

So I ask the oracle: 

Will my reputation be always good...?

The oracle answers: 

It will always be as you make it...!!!

  

I must take care to build up a good reputation!

I ask the oracle: 

Shall I go many long voyages...?

The oracle answers:

You will do well not to voyage farther than round your own room...!!!

Great...!!!

That puts an end to all my travel plans...!!!

All I am going to do my entire life is go round and round in my room...!!!

What a gloomy answer...!!!

And I thought browsing books was supposed to lift my spirits...!!!

Okay – just one last question – and the answer better be something good to cheer me up – or else no more ‘bibliotherapy’ for me...!!!

I select question number 74: 

What is the person that I am thinking about doing at this moment...? 

and the Oracle answers: 

She regrets not being with you...!!!

Really…? 

My, My...!!!

It seems to good to be true…!!!

So I call her up (the “girlfriend I am thinking about at that moment)

She says in her sweet loving voice:

“What a coincidence. I was just thinking of you and the good times we had together – I wish you were here with me…”

Wow…!!! 

Bibliotherapy really works.

I feel thrilled, jubilant, ecstatic, on cloud nine, in seventh heaven – and right on top of the world – as I rush off to surprise my beloved sweetheart.

And just imagine – I thought that she never even thought about me...!!!

It looks like it is the end of what I thought was my one way unrequited love – and the beginning of a new exciting romantic relationship with her. 

Yes – things are looking up…!!!

Long live The Ladies Oracle

Oh, Yes – The Ladies Oracle is a delightful little book you can consult from time to time on matters of love and life.

Believe me – you will enjoy reading and using this marvellous book.

It may be called The “Ladies” Oracle – but I feel that even men can consult it with satisfying results. 

Dear Reader – why don’t you try it out…?

I am sure you can easily get a copy of THE LADIES ORACLE online or at your bookstore.

It is delightfully entertaining reading – guaranteed to lift your spirits. 

I always carry this oracle in my pocket to enliven my moments of waiting – waiting at airports, railway stations, while travelling. 

Take it with you everywhere and you will never be bored. 

It is a small book – pocket-size – easy to carry everywhere.

Get a copy of this interesting book – The Ladies Oracle 

By the way – while surfing the net – I discovered that The Ladies Oracle is available as a free download for your smartphone at the link -> http://the-ladies-oracle.soft112.com/ 

There is also THE LADIES ORACLE Google Play App for your Android Smartphone at the link -> https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.ideafarms.android.ladiesoracle&hl=en

(Please do due diligence before you download – and – download and use the oracle at your own risk – and – just for fun)

Then just ask the questions you always wanted to ask – and enjoy the answers…!!!

Do tell us whether you found the oracle useful in matters of love and life.

Long live Bibliotherapy 

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

     

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

 

This Article was Written By Me more than 25 years ago in the early 1990s and first posted on my creative writing blog in the year 2004 at url: http://creative.sulekha.com/bibliotherapy_173419_blog and reposted a number pf times in my blogs including at urls: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/11/bibliotherapy-aka-book-therapy.html  and  http://creative.sulekha.com/bibliotherapy_173419_blog  and  http://creative.sulekha.com/the-ladies-oracle_290719_blog  andhttp://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/02/oracle-for-valentines-day.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2010/04/bibliotherapy-ladies-oracle-by.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/05/bibliotherapy-made-simple.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/08/bibliotherapy-ladies-oracle-guide-on.html  and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/08/a-book-for-my-girlfriends-ladies-oracle.html  etc

Philosophy of Life Made Simple – In Two Songs

I first saw the film HUM DONO in the early 1960s.

At that time I was a small boy and I liked the war scenes.

Later, when I was in college, I saw HUM DONO again.

HUM DONO is one of my favourite movies.

What I love most about HUM DONO are two songs which encapsulate the Philosophy of Life in lyrics which are breathtaking in their simplicity yet so meaningful – Profound Philosophy on the Art of Living in Simple Words. 

The first is an inspiring song – the second is a deeply meaningful song.

Here are the two Songs:

1. Main Zindagi Ka Saath Nibhata Chala Gaya

2. Kabhi Khud Pe Kabhi Halaat Pe Rona Aaya

Main Zindagi Ka Saath Nibhata Chala Gaya

MAIN ZINDAGI KA SAATH NIBHATA CHALA GAYA 

Lyrics with English Translation (Courtesy - Internet)

Main Zindagi Ka Saath Nibhata Chala Gaya

Har Fikar Ko Dhuen Mein Udata Chala Gaya

I moved on keeping abreast with life

Every problem I blew away with rings of smoke

Barbadiyon Ka Shok Manana Fizul Tha

Barbadiyon Ka Jashan Manata Chala Gaya

Har Fikar Ko Dhuen Mein Udaata Chala Gaya

Mourning the failures was a waste of time

So I moved on, celebrating my failures

Every problem I blew away with rings of smoke

Jo Mil Gaya Usi Ko Muqaddar Samajh Liya

Jo Kho Gaya Main Usko Bhulata Chala Gaya

Har Fikar Ko Dhuen Mein Udaata Chala Gaya

What I received I believed it was my destiny

What I lost, I kept trying to forget it

Every problem I blew away with rings of smoke

Gham Aur Khushi Mein Farq Na Mehsoos Ho Jahan

Maein Dil Ko Us Muqaam Pe Laata Chala Gaya

Har Fikar Ko Dhuen Mein Udaata Chala Gaya

Where there is no difference between Happiness and Sorrow

I moved on, trying to bring my heart into that state

Every problem I blew away with rings of smoke

Kabhi Khud Pe Kabhi Halaat Pe Rona Aaya

KABHI KHUD PE KABHI HALAT PE RONA AAYA

Lyrics with English translation (Courtesy - Internet)

Kabhi Khud Pe Khabi Halat Pe Rona Aaya
Baat Nikli To Har Ik Baat Pe Rona Aaya
Sometimes at myself, and sometimes at the circumstances, I cry.
Once the topic comes up, at every topic I cry

Hum To Samjhe The Ke Hum Bhool Gaye Hain Un Ko
Kya Hua Aaj Ye Kis Baat Pe Rona Aaya
I thought I had forgotten her.
But what happened today, that I started crying?

Kis Liye Jeete Hai Hum Kis K Liye Marte Hai
Baar Baar Aise Sawalaat Pe Rona Aaya
Why do I live? For whom do I live?
Asking these questions, I cried.

Kaun Rota Hai Kisi Aur Ki Khatir Ay Dost
Sab Ko Apni Hi Kisi Baat Pe Rona Aaya
Who cries for another in this world, O' friend?
Everyone is so busy crying about their own problems.

Kabhi Khud Pe Khabi Halat Pe Rona Aaya
Baat Nikli To Har Ik Baat Pe Rona Aaya
Sometimes at myself, and sometimes at the circumstances, I cry.
Once the topic comes up, at every topic I cry.

The most profound couplet in this song is: 

कौन रोता है किसी और की खातिर ऐ दोस्त सबको अपनी ही किसी बात पे रोना आया

Kaun Rota Hai Kisi Aur Ki Khatir Ay Dost
Sab Ko Apni Hi Kisi Baat Pe Rona Aaya

(Do you ever cry for someone else...? It is for your own problems that you cry for...)

Slice of Life - A CREAKING GATE HANGS LONG

A CREAKING GATE HANGS LONG 

Short Fiction – a Slice of Life Story 

By

VIKRAM KARVE

On this warm Saturday Morning – let me delve deep into my Creative Writing Archives and pull out this amusing story A CREAKING GATE HANGS LONG

I wrote this story more than 2 years ago – in the year 2013.

This is a story of tragic humor which exemplifies the dictum: “A Creaking Gate Hangs Long”

A CREAKING GATE HANGS LONG - a story by Vikram Karve

“I am fed up with my father-in-law,” Meera says to me.

“Come on, Meera. It is not the poor old man’s fault that he had a heart attack,” I say.

“It’s not that.”

“Then what is it?”

“This is his third heart attack.”

“Oh. That’s why you are worried for him.

“I am not worried for him. I am worried about us.”

“What … ?”

Suddenly Meera’s mobile phone rings.

She looks at the display of her cell phone.

Meera excuses herself and walks out of the office to take the call.

Ten minutes later Meera returns to office.

She looks very tense.

So I ask her, “I hope your father-in-law is okay?”

“The doctors say he will survive. He is still in the ICU – but he is getting better. He is breathing properly – and he has even started talking now. My husband is in the hospital with him.”

“That’s good. From the look on your face I thought there was some bad news.”

“There is very bad news.”

“Bad news? What?”

“My husband said that my father-in-law is hesitating to sign the will.”

“Will?”

“My father-in-law has not made a will bequeathing his property.”

“He hasn’t made his will?”

“Yes. My father-in-law has not made a will. Just imagine what will happen if he dies. We will lose everything.”

“You will lose everything? How?”

“My father-in-law is a self-made man. All his property is self-earned. The huge bungalow on Prabhat Road where we live is built by him. Everyone has their eyes on our bungalow.”

“Yes. It is prime property. It must be worth a few crores.”

“Just imagine. We – my husband and I – we sacrificed everything. My husband and I stayed back in India so that we could look after him. We could have also gone to America like his other children. When the old man is alive – they don’t bother about him – and we have to do everything for him. But the moment he dies – they will be all here to claim their pound of flesh – like vultures.”

“Really?”

“Of course. The last time my husband’s sister was here – I came to know that she was in discrete talks with a builder for redeveloping the bungalow in exchange for a flat – I hate greedy NRIs like her – they ditch the country, they abandon their parents, and go abroad to have a good life, but they still want to have a flat in Pune.”

“That’s really unfair. If you have looked after the old man all your life – then you must get the bungalow. Why don’t you talk to your father-in-law?”

“We have. Every time we ask him – he says he is going to give his bungalow and all his property to us. He says that he has told everyone about this. But he refuses to put it in writing, in black and white.”

“Really?”

“Yes. We have asked him so many times to make a will – but he refuses every time.”

“Why?”

“He is superstitious.”

“Superstitious?”

“Yes. He says that he has a gut-feeling that the moment he makes a will – he may die.”

“How silly?”

“And he has had three heart attacks till now. This time it was really bad. They say that a creaking gate hangs long – but the way his health is failing – I don’t think it is going to be very long before he dies.”

“Yes. This time you must convince him to write his will when he comes home from hospital.”

“Why wait till he comes back from hospital? What is the guarantee that he will come back? I am not going to wait that long. I am going to get the will signed by him right now. ”

“Right now? What do you mean?”

“I told you – didn’t I...? My husband has taken the papers to hospital.”

“The hospital?”

“Yes. I have got a proper will drafted by a lawyer. I have sent the will with my husband to the hospital. I have given an ultimatum to my husband to make sure my father-in-law signs the will today. I have even asked the lawyer to go there as a witness. The moment my father signs the will – the lawyer will get signatures of witnesses – and he will go and get the will registered. I have warned my husband that he should come home only after all this is done. I told him I will not allow him to enter unless he shows me the signed will.”

“Oh!”

“Now all my husband has to do is get the old man’s signature. I have warned my husband that there will be hell to pay if he fails to get his father’s signature on the will. This time I am serious. I have told my husband that if my father-in-law refuses to sign the will – we are going to walk out of his house – and go to live elsewhere. Let the old man’s other children come here and look after him – they all want a share in his property, isn’t it – then let them come here and share some responsibility of looking after him as well … ”

Suddenly I see the head of our boss popping into our office.

Our boss looks at Meera and gives Meera a polite smile.

Then our boss looks at me and says, “Smita, can you please come out for a moment?”

I follow my boss into the lobby. 

When we are alone, the boss says to me, “There is some bad news for Meera.”

“Her father-in-law? He died?”

“No. Her husband. Meera’s husband had a massive heart attack and he died on the spot.”

What a tragedy of fate.

Meera’s old father-in-law came home hale and hearty.

Meera’s young husband died in the hospital.

And do you know what was the tragic irony?

For many years – Meera had been nagging her father-in-law to make a will.

But Meera’s own husband had not made a will.

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

This story is a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

     

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

 

This Story Written by me in April 2013 and Earlier Posted Online by me Vikram Karve at 4/15/2013 12:42:00 PM on this Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve blog at urls: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/04/will-and-wish-blog-fiction-story-no-25.html  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/12/a-creaking-gate-hangs-long.html