HOW TO CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS and PARTNERS
TRUST and RELATIONSHIPS
Musings
By
VIKRAM KARVE
I trust people.
Depending on the way you
look at it, one of my chief virtues (or shortcomings) is that I trust people.
That is why it is easy for anyone to take me for a ride, and make an “April
Fool” of me, as so many have done, and I will tell you about some hilarious
episodes right here in my blog later.
Yes, I have a trusting
nature.
That’s why I did not try
my hand at business or take up a profession where one has to put on a mask of
pretence, hide things, indulge in mendacity and be Machiavellian to succeed.
In the navy of yesteryear,
we trusted each other – yes, officers of the “old mould” valued trust and, in
fact, mutual trust was the main
factor on which the system worked.
It has been my experience
that trust is the key ingredient in any relationship, personal or professional, and it is always best to associate
with trustworthy individuals and, even more important, it is especially
important to have trustworthy friends and partners.
How do you find out whether a person is
trustworthy?
Earlier you had to find
this out the hard way, by experimenting with a relationship and undergoing some
real-life experiences, trials and tribulations.
Nowadays, there is an easy
way to find out, prima facie, whether an individual is trustworthy or not.
In today’s information
technology age, everyone has a cyber identity.
So all you have to do is
to see the person’s profile on Facebook or any other social networking
site like LinkedIn, Google, Blogger, Gravatar, Twitter, Yahoo etc and you can find
out the extent of genuineness in the
individual’s cyber identity.
Is the person using her actual name or is she hiding behind a pseudonym or anonymous
“handle” or fake identity?
Has the person uploaded her actual photographs or is she hiding behind confusing “avatars”?
How much information about
herself has the person revealed in her profile?
Has the person
unhesitatingly given her complete details – her contact details, her education
and work experience, details of her family, friends, timeline of her life – a truly trustworthy person has nothing to
hide.
Yes, a truly trustworthy person will be totally honest
and transparent whereas an untrustworthy
person will try to hide behind a
mask of anonymity or, worse still, masquerade behind fake identities.
Yes, you have to take just one look at a profile and you can get an idea about
how trustworthy a person is.
After that, it is for you
to decide whether to have a relationship with that person or not, whether to
befriend that person in the real world and in cyber space as well.
Yes, in today’s world you
have to careful about virtual friendships in cyberspace, for many of these social network friendships have the
likelihood of culminating into real
world relationships.
Remember, it is trust that makes a relationship fulfilling and rewarding.
On the other hand, trust
deficit can cause fissures in a
relationship, which have a snowballing
effect and lead to mistrust which
ultimately destroys the relationship.
Before I end, I will give
you one task as “homework”.
Have a look at your own Facebook Profile and tell
us how “trustworthy” you are.
I eagerly await your
answer and look forward to your comments and feedback.
Have a happy
Friday and a great weekend ahead.
VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 2012
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
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About Vikram Karve
A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer. Educated at IIT Delhi, ITBHU Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories, creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional research papers in journals and edited in-house journals for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing. Vikram lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.
Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramkarve@sify.com
AMAZON
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925
Foodie Book: Appetite for a Stroll
If your are a Foodie you will like my book of Food Adventures APPETITE FOR A STROLL. Do order a copy from FLIPKART:
http://www.flipkart.com/appetite-stroll-vikram-karve/8190690094-gw23f9
About Vikram Karve
A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer. Educated at IIT Delhi, ITBHU Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories, creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional research papers in journals and edited in-house journals for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing. Vikram lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.
Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramkarve@sify.com
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
Liked the article and a bit amazed at the alikeness of thoughts too. Liked the directness mentioning "I trust people" at the beginning itself. I too, believe in people easily and consider it both my biggest virtue and my major shortcoming. Both professionally and personally, I feel I need to be more careful while trusting people and everytime end up giving them the benefit of doubt. More so professionally considering I am in Human Resource field. Pursued it thinking I have strong People's management skills and two years into the field I think I am not really gelling well with the mendacity and pretence around. (Dont worry. Won't bore you down with the details. Two options - work on it / check alternatives).
ReplyDeleteAlso agree with the thought that a truly trustworthy person would be totally honest and transparent. and I think straight forward / Direct too. I am not too sure about the 'hidden' content in social networking sites though. Fake identities ofcourse dont work but hidden content could just be so because the other person is just trying to be careful regarding whom it is shared with.
Why is it that everywhere you have used a she / her while explaining with examples? (curious)
Homework - My facebook profile tells me I am trustworthy. Could not measure the 'HOW' part though.
Thanks for the time. Hope you have a nice weekend ahead.
Regards
Keerti
Hi Keerti,
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot for your detailed comment. It was nice of you to have expressed your views so candidly, which indicates your trustworthiness.
About using "she" - I tend to always use "he" and "him" and as per modern usage this is deemed to be "gender bias" and using "they" and plural sounds a bit clumsy, hence the "she". Thanks for your feedback - I will stick to "he" in future.
It is good you are in HR, since the two attributes of HR are transparency and fairness, which only a trustworthy person can deliver.
Keerti, just be your trustworthy self and do not try to go against your nature. Remember, a clear conscience is the softest pillow.
Also, please read my blog post (posted after this one) on Personality Development and Image Management. I will appreciate your comments, views and feedback.
Have a great weekend.
All the Best
Regards
Vikram