LEARNING FROM
MISTAKES
LESSONS LEARNT
FROM LIFE
Part 1
THE ART OF REPRIMAND
By
VIKRAM KARVE
This happened
more than 20 years ago when we lived in the beautiful verdant campus of the
erstwhile IAT (now called DIAT Deemed University) in the hills of Girinagar
overlooking the serene cool blue waters of Khadakwasla Lake near Pune, with the
mighty Sinhagad Fort towering above as a sentinel .
We lived in a
typical MES accommodation – ground plus one storey with garages in between,
four houses in a block.
Each house had
a separate overhead water tank on top of the building and separate servant
quarters behind the block .
We lived on
the ground floor, and our neighbours who lived on the top floor above us were a
young couple with a small kid.
Once there was
along weekend – four days off – two days Diwali holidays followed by Saturday
and Sunday.
Our
neighbours, who lived above us, decided to spend the long weekend in Mumbai
with their relatives.
In contrast, a
sizeable number of relatives had decided to visit us to celebrate Diwali and
spend the weekend in the picturesque surroundings on Girinagar and do some
sightseeing and trekking, climb up the Sinhagad Fort and picnic at the Panshet
and Varasgaon Dams and stroll on the “beach” on the Khadakvasla lakeside.
The whole gang
of relatives arrived early in the morning on the first day of Diwali.
We were
enjoying ourselves, the children bursting crackers, and my wife got down to
making preparations for a festival feast for all of us and we were looking
forward to a delicious sumptuous lunch.
Suddenly, my
wife came out and told me that the taps had run dry and she said that water was
not coming anywhere in the house.
This was
surprising, since there was an abundance of water in Girinagar and we had never
faced any water problem.
I rang up the
pump house who confirmed that they had duly pumped water for three hours in the
morning as per schedule and there was no reason for a water shortage. They
suggested that I have a look at my water tank on the roof and if there was any plumbing
or piping problem they would send someone to rectify the fault.
I climbed up
on the roof and was aghast to see that my water tank was bone dry. The lid had
been taken off and the walls of the water tank had been freshly painted.
My neighbour’s
water tank was full of water.
I came down
and started enquiring when my servant told me that she had seen our neighbour’s
servant on the roof early in the morning.
I called the
neighbour’s servant.
He said that
before leaving for Mumbai, my neighbour had given him instructions to shut the inlet
valve, drain the water tank, clean it up, dry it, and then apply a coat of
paint, let it dry for two days, and then open the valve so that the water tank
would be full by the time they came back.
He was
contrite and admitted that, by mistake, he had emptied and painted my water
tank instead of my neighbour’s water tank.
He had
mistakenly assumed that my water tank was my neighbour’s water tank. That is
why he had drained out all the water, closed the inlet valve, dried the water
tank, and then cleaned and painted it.
My neighbour’s
servant profusely apologised and said he was sorry, but I was furious – because
of this man’s stupidity we were going to have a water problem when there were
so many guests in the house.
I lost my
temper and started shouting angrily at the man, giving him a severe
tongue-lashing as the man shivered in fright, when I suddenly noticed his small
son watching the proceedings.
The young boy trembled
with fear and he had an expression of dread written all over his innocent face as
he watched his father being publicly scolded and humiliated.
I could not
bear to see this heart-rending expression on the young boy’s face so I stopped
my invective tirade, told the man to go away, and went into my room to cool
off.
That day I
made a decision.
I resolved
that I would never admonish anyone in front of their children or family.
Parents are
heroes to their children and the worst thing you can do is to humiliate parents
(father or mother) in front of their children.
Similarly, it
can be very demoralizing for a manager, or any employee, to be reprimanded by
the boss in front of his juniors and subordinates.
I was in a
profession where being “goody-goody” and “soft spoken” did not work in all
cases and occasionally you had to shout at people and reprimand them in order
to get the desired results, but I ensured that whenever I gave a tongue-lashing
to someone, I did so in private, by calling him aside separately to give him a
dressing down.
Also, I tried
my best to criticize the action and to ensure that I did not insult the person
by making derogatory personal remarks about him.
I scrupulously
tried my best to follow the dictum: “Praise
in Public but Admonish in Private”.
I did lose my
temper and yell at people in public sometimes, but I immediately made amends by
apologising on the spot or at the earliest opportunity.
We all make
mistakes.
But the trick
lies in realizing your mistake when you commit one, learn from your mistake,
take corrective action and make sure you do not repeat the same mistake again.
Experience
enables you to recognize a mistake.
As Cicero said: Any man can make a mistake, but only a fool
will continue in repeating it.
Mistakes are
your best teachers.
Mistakes are
lessons of wisdom.
And as James
Joyce said: Mistakes are the portals of
discovery.
I have made a
lot of mistakes in my life.
I have tried
my best to learn from my mistakes and endeavoured to ensure that I do not
repeat them.
In some cases
I have succeeded, in some it is still an ongoing process.
As Tryon
Edwards put it: Some of best lessons we
ever learn, we learn from our mistakes and failures. The error of the past is
the wisdom and success of the future.
I will
end with a quote by Wang Yang-Ming:
The sages do not consider that
making no mistake is a blessing. They believe rather that the great virtue of man
lies in his ability to correct his mistakes and to continually make a new man
of himself …
VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 2012
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
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SMASHWORDS
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About Vikram Karve
A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer. Educated at IIT Delhi, ITBHU Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories, creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional research papers in journals and edited in-house journals for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing. Vikram Karve lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.
Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramkarve@sify.com
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
Did you like this article?
I am sure you will like the 27 fiction short stories from my recently published anthology of Short Fiction COCKTAIL
To order your COCKTAIL please click any of the links below:
http://www.flipkart.com/cocktail-vikram-karve-short-stories-book-81910
http://www.indiaplaza.in/cocktail-vikram-karve/books/9788191091847.htm
http://www.apkpublishers.com/books/short-stories/cocktail-by-vikram-ka
COCKTAIL ebook
If you prefer reading ebooks on Kindle or your ebook reader, please order Cocktail E-book by clicking the links below:
AMAZON
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925
Foodie Book: Appetite for a Stroll
If your are a Foodie you will like my book of Food Adventures APPETITE FOR A STROLL. Do order a copy from FLIPKART:
http://www.flipkart.com/appetite-stroll-vikram-karve/8190690094-gw23f9
About Vikram Karve
A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer. Educated at IIT Delhi, ITBHU Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories, creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional research papers in journals and edited in-house journals for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing. Vikram Karve lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.
Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramkarve@sify.com
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
I do agree with thought of mistakes being the best teachers. It is not only necessary to make mistakes but also remember them and prevent them in the future. Admonishing in private only enforces the actual lesson which the mistake intends to teach.
ReplyDeleteVery good and informative post :)
Jay
http://road-to-sanitarium.blogspot.in/
Hi Jay Singh,
ReplyDeleteYour blog is real good - thanks for the link.
We all make mistakes, it is only how you learn from them us what matters.
Regards
Vikram