HUMOR IN UNIFORM
THE ACR DINNER
THE ACR DINNER
A Pongo Style Naval Yarn
Short Fiction Story
By
VIKRAM KARVE
ACR – acronym for ANNUAL CONFIDENTIAL REPORT
Disclaimer: Please read this only if you have a sense of humour. This is a spoof. So first convince yourself that you have a sense of humour and only then read the yarn and have a laugh.
This happened sometime in the 1980s.
I happened to walk into the office of one of my Pongo colleagues for some work.
I saw a total of six Pongos, including my colleague, sitting around the table engaged in an animated discussion, so I excused myself and told my colleague that I would come later.
“No, No, please come in,” my friend said, “in fact you can help us solve our problem.”
“Problem?” I asked.
“Yes, its about the ACR dinner,” he said.
“ACR Dinner?” I asked perplexed.
“You don’t have this in the Navy?” they all asked.
“Well, at least I have not heard of it,” I said.
“Our ACRs are due to be written in a month,” my colleague said, “and all of us are expected to invite our boss and his wife for dinner – and of course all the other officers and lady wives are invited.”
“Are you telling me that your performance appraisal will be done based on a dinner?” I asked, genuinely baffled.
“Well, I really don’t know, but then these are the hazards of peacetime soldiering,” commented my friend, who was a battle-hardened soldier, looking at me wistfully.
“Anyway, what do you want me to do?” I asked.
“Pick lots,” they all said.
“Pick lots?” I asked, totally at a loss.
“Yes,” my friend explained, “we have to decide the sequence of the ACR dinners. You know about the halo effect, don’t you? There is a big advantage in giving the dinner last, just before the ACR date.”
“Sometimes it is good to host the first dinner too – the first dinner sets the standard, and is also remembered,” said another Pongo sitting in the room.
So I did the honours and picked the chits and the ACR dinner dates were decided.
Of course, my wife and I, were invited to all the ACR dinners.
VIKRAM KARVE
VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 2012
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
Did you like this blog post?
I am sure you will like the stories in my recently published book COCKTAIL comprising twenty seven short stories about relationships. To order the book please click the links below:
http://www.flipkart.com/cocktail-vikram-karve-short-stories-book-81910
http://www.indiaplaza.in/cocktail-vikram-karve/books/9788191091847.htm
http://www.apkpublishers.com/books/short-stories/cocktail-by-vikram-ka
COCKTAIL ebook
If you prefer reading ebooks on Kindle or your ebook reader, please order Cocktail E-book by clicking the link below:
AMAZON
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925
About Vikram Karve
A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer. Educated at IIT Delhi, ITBHU Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and he is currently working on his novel. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories and creative non-fiction articles in magazines and journals for many years before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing. Vikram lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.
I am sure you will like the stories in my recently published book COCKTAIL comprising twenty seven short stories about relationships. To order the book please click the links below:
http://www.flipkart.com/cocktail-vikram-karve-short-stories-book-81910
http://www.indiaplaza.in/cocktail-vikram-karve/books/9788191091847.htm
http://www.apkpublishers.com/books/short-stories/cocktail-by-vikram-ka
COCKTAIL ebook
If you prefer reading ebooks on Kindle or your ebook reader, please order Cocktail E-book by clicking the link below:
AMAZON
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925
About Vikram Karve
A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer. Educated at IIT Delhi, ITBHU Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and he is currently working on his novel. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories and creative non-fiction articles in magazines and journals for many years before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing. Vikram lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.
Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
Ha! Ha!
ReplyDeleteNo ACR dinners in the Navy? Well, how about ACR walks, jogs, best pair of epaulettes etc?