THE ART OF NON VERBAL COMMUNICATION
HOW TO COMMUNICATE IN SILENCE
By
VIKRAM KARVE
Here is one of my favourite teaching stories called Battle of Wits
If any other wandering monk wanted to stay in the temple he had to engage in a battle of wits and defeat a resident monk in debate.
If the new monk won the argument he took the place of the defeated resident monk who then had to leave the temple and move on.
If the resident monk won he continued to stay in the temple and the wandering monk had to go away.
In a temple in the northern part of Japan two brother monks were dwelling together.
The elder monk was learned and wise, but the younger monk was stupid and had just one eye.
A wandering monk came and asked for lodging, properly challenging them to a debate about spirituality.
The wise elder monk was fatigued and tired that day from too much studying so he told the younger one-eyed stupid monk to take up the challenge. “I am tired and want to sleep so you go and debate with the visitor,” the elder learned monk told the stupid one-eyed younger monk, “I don't want to hear any noise so request the dialogue in silence and have a silent debate.”
So the young monk and the stranger went to the shrine and sat down to debate in silence.
Shortly afterwards the traveller rose and went in to the elder monk, bowed his head in reverence, and said: “Your young companion is a brilliant scholar. He thoroughly defeated me.”
The wise elder monk was sure that the younger stupid one-eyed monk would be defeated in the battle of wits. So, on hearing that result of the debate was the opposite of what he had expected, the astonished elder monk asked the visitor, “Please relate the silent dialogue to me.”
“Well,” explained the traveller, “first I held up one finger, representing Buddha, the enlightened one.
With this, the traveller bowed in reverence once again and left the Zen temple.
Suddenly the stupid one-eyed younger monk came storming into the room and asked the wise elder monk, “Where is that fellow...?”
“I understand you won the debate,” the older learned monk said.
“Debate...? What debate...? There was no debate and I won nothing. I am going to beat that insolent stranger and thrash the hell out of him,” the young monk shouted in anger.
“Beat him up...? Trash him...?” the perplexed elder monk exclaimed, “you tell me what happened and relate the silent dialogue to me.”
This is how the stupid one-eyed younger brother described his version of the silent debate:
“The minute he saw me he held up one finger, insulting me by insinuating that I have only one eye.
This story exemplifies communication mismatch that can occur when you indulge in non-verbal communication (maybe in sign language) with someone who does not understand your “language” owing to cultural or cognitive reasons. This non-verbal communication mismatch can sometimes have hilarious results and occasionally may have not so hilarious consequences as well.
HOW TO COMMUNICATE IN SILENCE
By
VIKRAM KARVE
Here is one of my favourite teaching stories called Battle of Wits
Once upon a time only two monks were permitted to stay in a Zen Temple.
If any other wandering monk wanted to stay in the temple he had to engage in a battle of wits and defeat a resident monk in debate.
If the new monk won the argument he took the place of the defeated resident monk who then had to leave the temple and move on.
If the resident monk won he continued to stay in the temple and the wandering monk had to go away.
In a temple in the northern part of Japan two brother monks were dwelling together.
The elder monk was learned and wise, but the younger monk was stupid and had just one eye.
A wandering monk came and asked for lodging, properly challenging them to a debate about spirituality.
The wise elder monk was fatigued and tired that day from too much studying so he told the younger one-eyed stupid monk to take up the challenge. “I am tired and want to sleep so you go and debate with the visitor,” the elder learned monk told the stupid one-eyed younger monk, “I don't want to hear any noise so request the dialogue in silence and have a silent debate.”
So the young monk and the stranger went to the shrine and sat down to debate in silence.
Shortly afterwards the traveller rose and went in to the elder monk, bowed his head in reverence, and said: “Your young companion is a brilliant scholar. He thoroughly defeated me.”
The wise elder monk was sure that the younger stupid one-eyed monk would be defeated in the battle of wits. So, on hearing that result of the debate was the opposite of what he had expected, the astonished elder monk asked the visitor, “Please relate the silent dialogue to me.”
“Well,” explained the traveller, “first I held up one finger, representing Buddha, the enlightened one.
So he held up two fingers, signifying Buddha and his Teaching.
I held up three fingers, representing Buddha, his Teaching, and his Followers, living the harmonious life.
In reply he shook his clenched fist in my face, indicating that all three come from one realization.
Thus he won and so I have no right to remain here.”
With this, the traveller bowed in reverence once again and left the Zen temple.
Suddenly the stupid one-eyed younger monk came storming into the room and asked the wise elder monk, “Where is that fellow...?”
“I understand you won the debate,” the older learned monk said.
“Debate...? What debate...? There was no debate and I won nothing. I am going to beat that insolent stranger and thrash the hell out of him,” the young monk shouted in anger.
“Beat him up...? Trash him...?” the perplexed elder monk exclaimed, “you tell me what happened and relate the silent dialogue to me.”
This is how the stupid one-eyed younger brother described his version of the silent debate:
“The minute he saw me he held up one finger, insulting me by insinuating that I have only one eye.
Since he was a stranger I thought I would be polite to him, so I held up two fingers, congratulating him that he has two eyes.
Then the impolite scoundrel held up three fingers, suggesting that between us we only have three eyes.
So I got mad and started to punch him, but the coward ran out and that ended the debate...” This story exemplifies communication mismatch that can occur when you indulge in non-verbal communication (maybe in sign language) with someone who does not understand your “language” owing to cultural or cognitive reasons. This non-verbal communication mismatch can sometimes have hilarious results and occasionally may have not so hilarious consequences as well.
VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 2012
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
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COCKTAIL ebook
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Foodie Book: Appetite for a Stroll
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About Vikram Karve
A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer. Educated at IIT Delhi, ITBHU Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories, creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional research papers in journals and edited in-house journals for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for almost 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing. Vikram lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.
Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramkarve@sify.com
vikramkarve@gmail.com
AMAZON
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925
Foodie Book: Appetite for a Stroll
If your are a Foodie you will like my book of Food Adventures APPETITE FOR A STROLL. Do order a copy from FLIPKART:
http://www.flipkart.com/appetite-stroll-vikram-karve/8190690094-gw23f9
About Vikram Karve
A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer. Educated at IIT Delhi, ITBHU Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories, creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional research papers in journals and edited in-house journals for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for almost 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing. Vikram lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.
Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramkarve@sify.com
vikramkarve@gmail.com
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
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