STORY ON PARENTING by VIKRAM KARVE
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THE “ROLE MODEL” PARENTS
Story by Vikram Karve
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“BEST PARENTS” AWARD
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“And – the “Best Parents Award” goes to…” the School Principal was saying.
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This was the first time I was hearing of a “Best Parents” Award.
I have seen plenty of awards, trophies and prizes being given to students – but – never before had I seen a “Best Parents” Award being given to Parents.
The awards ceremony began after the grand annual day program of the school.
One by one – various awards and prizes were announced – for students of each class – and – trophies for “houses” for sports and extra-curricular activities.
And then – the Principal announced that a new award was being instituted for the first time – the “Best Parents” Award – and she explained the criteria – participation of parents in PTA meetings, as parent volunteers, helping organize and taking interest and active participation in various activities – outward bound camps, field trips, adventure activities etc.– and taking keen interest in sports, dramatic and creative activities of their son.
And then – the Principal announced the names of the parents who had won the “Best Parents” Trophy.
The couple sitting next to me leapt up from their seats with spontaneous joy – looking at the expression of awe and happiness radiating from their faces – it seemed that they didn’t have an inkling about this new “best parents” award – and winning the award was a surprise for them – a lovely surprise.
I rose from my seat and stood in the aisle – making way for the young “best parent” couple to walk to the stage to collect their trophy.
Once they were on the stage – the Principal effusively praised the parents for being so totally involved in all aspects of parenting of the son and “investing” so much towards the overall development of their child.
The Principal emphasized the fact that they were probably the only parents who were perfectly synergized together – both of them – always in harmony – collaborating so nicely with the school and teachers for all events and activities pertaining to their son – they had provided the best environment for the all-round development of their son – a superb example of “holistic” parenting which was reflected in the excellent performance of their son.
She summed up by saying that they were ideal “role model” parents – an inspiration to all parents.
The Chief Guest gave the “Best Parents” Trophy to the “Role Model” Parents along with a citation.
Then – the Principal called their son on the stage for a group photo.
Their son – a smart boy – around 12 – came on stage – he had won a few prizes – for academics – for sports – for debating – for social activities – and for being the best all-rounder in his class – truly a meritorious student.
I looked at them with admiration as the stood so resplendently on the stage – smiling for the photograph – proud parents with their brilliant child – a perfect “ideal” family – indeed a “role model” for others.
After the school annual day function was over – I walked to the lawns for tea.
“Thank you for coming…” the Principal said to me.
“How could I refuse your invitation – especially as I was in town…” I said to her.
The Lady Principal was my classmate – we had studied together in this very school more than 30 years ago.
“It was very innovative to have a “Best Parents” award…” I said to her – then – I gestured to the “Best Parents” and their son – and – I said, “look at them – an ideal family – brilliant son – perfect parents – “role models” – as you described them…”
“Yes – “perfect” – except for one thing…” she said.
“Except for one thing…?” I asked her – curious.
“The parents – they are divorced…” she said.
“What…?” I exclaimed – taken aback.
“Unbelievable – isn’t it…?” she said, “but – it is true – they are divorced – for nearly six years now…”
I looked at the “best parents” – at their brilliant son – and I said:
“The parents – husband and wife – they have divorced each other – but – they haven’t divorced their son…”
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Dear Reader:
It is true – isn’t it…?
You can divorce your spouse – but – you can never “divorce” your children.
Do you agree…?
Or – do you have a different view…?
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VIKRAM KARVE
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Divorced but co-parenting parents do tend to have good coordination - because they have divorced the unhappiness that they brought to each other. Now they are working as a team on the same outcome - the best for the child.
ReplyDeleteIs that the ideal situation? No. because there is no ideal situation. Every family structure, I have found, has its pros and cons. But if it works for that particular family, then that is it.
Agree - there is no ideal parenting style - each is unique in its own way
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