WHY MARRIAGES FAIL
Story
By
VIKRAM KARVE
______
Mumbai (then known
as Bombay) – circa 1978
______
Part 1
LOVE MARRIAGE
_____
When my course-mate
Ashok got divorced within one year of his marriage – instead of sympathizing with
him – I chastised him.
“I told you not to get
married to that “fleet auxiliary” – but you wouldn’t listen to me…” I said to Ashok.
“I know – I should
have listened to you…” Ashok said, contrite.
“You come from such
a conservative background – I told you that your parents would never accept her…”
I said to him.
“You were right –
my parents did not approve of her at all…” he said.
“Despite your
parent’s disapproval – you defied your parents – and you got married to her…” I
scolded him.
“I was in love with
her…” he said.
“Love…? If you were
in love with her – why did you divorce her…?” I asked him.
“We were just not
compatible…” he said.
“Compatible…!!! How
could you be “compatible” with her…? Outwardly – you may act “modern” – but in
your mind – you are still a “small town boy” – I told you all this – but you
just wouldn’t listen to me…” I said to him.
“I wish I had
listened to you…” he said.
“There is a difference
between a “girlfriend” and a “wife” – especially if the girlfriend is a “fleet auxiliary”
– no one marries a “fleet auxiliary” – you have a “good time” with them – and then
– you get married to the “back home type” girl that your parents have chosen
for you…” I said to him.
“I was so much in
love with her – that I even went against my parents – and I didn’t even listen to
your advice…” he said, full of remorse.
“Yes – love made
you “blind” – and – she exploited you – she is a bloody shameless “nympho” – after
having a “good time” with others – she trapped you into marriage…” I said to him.
“You are right…” he
said, “she “knew” so many people – shipmates, course-mates – even seniors…”
“She was 5 years
older to you – past her prime – and you fell for her…” I said, “she really made
a fool of you…”
“Yes – I married in
haste – and now – I am repenting at leisure…” he said, “next time – I am going
to be careful…”
“Yes…” I said, “marriage
is serious business…”
“You are right…” he
said, “I took it very lightly – and I paid a heavy price…”
“What are your
plans now…? I heard that you have asked for a compassionate grounds transfer…?”
I asked him.
“Yes – I want to
get away from this place – and – I want to move on in life…” he said, “I have
asked for Vizag – it will be closer to my hometown as well…”
“All the best…” I
said to Ashok, “and in case you are thinking of getting married – go in for an
arranged marriage this time – and choose carefully…”
“Yes…” Ashok said –
he gulped down the remains of his drink – he smiled a goodbye to me – and he left
the wardroom.
______
10 Years Later
Kochi (Cochin) –
circa 1988
______
Part 2
ARRANGED MARRIAGE
______
10 years later – my
ship visited Kochi (then known as Cochin)
In the evening – I
walked down to the Navy Club – and – I saw Ashok sitting on the lawn – all by
himself.
“You must have
heard that I got divorced again…?” he said to me.
“Yes…” I said, “what
happened…?”
“I don’t know…” he
said, “this time I was careful – I saw so many girls that my parents had lined
up for me – and then – after shortlisting the girls I had liked – I selected
the girl who was an ideal wife for me – she had all the qualities that I wanted
in my wife – I thought we had a happy marriage – but – one day – she suddenly
just walked out…”
“That’s sad…” I
said, commiserating with him.
“Yes…” Ashok said, “she
was the ideal wife for me…”
“She was an ideal
wife for you – but – were you an “ideal” husband for her…?” I asked him.
“What do you mean…?”
Ashok said.
“You checked out
the girl’s qualities – but – did you check out your own qualities…?” I said to
him.
“What are you
trying to say…?” he asked me.
“You were a
mismatch in your love marriage – and – you were a mismatch in your arranged
marriage too. You need to introspect – why do your marriages fail…?” I said to
Ashok.
“You are right…”
Ashok said, “I must check my own compatibility too – I will surely do that –
next time…”
“Next time…?” I
said, surprised.
He sure had
perseverance.
There is a saying: “Third
Time Lucky”.
I hoped he would be
lucky the 3rd time – and – his next marriage would be a success.
_______
20 Years Later
Pune – circa 2008
_______
Part 3
THIRD TIME LUCKY…?
_______
I was happily
surprised to see my course-mate Ashok at a Navy Veterans Get-Together in Pune.
“It’s been a long time…”
I said to Ashok, “you totally went “off the radar” – I lost all track of you…”
“I quit the Navy a
few days after we met last time…” Ashok said.
“Yes – that’s what
I heard – that – you had suddenly resigned…” I said, “what happened…?”
“I got a good job
offer in the gulf – so – I decided to go over there – and since then – I have
been globetrotting…” he said.
“That’s great…” I
said, “but what are you doing in Pune…?” I asked him.
“Like you – I too
have finally “retired” – and I have decided to settle down in Pune – I just
came one month ago from the US…” he said.
“Where do you live
in Pune…?” I asked him.
“At present I am
living in a serviced apartment – but I have just bought a house – and I will be
moving in there soon…” he said.
He told me the name
of the township where he had bought a house – it was an exclusive cosmopolitan township
– most posh and elite. To be able to afford a house in that classy “highfalutin”
township – Ashok must have done well for himself after leaving the Navy.
Ashok looked at me
and said, tongue-in-cheek:
“You didn’t ask me
if I was married…?”
“Are you…?” I said
to him, “Or – did you get married and divorced again…?”
“No. No…” he
laughed, “I took your advice seriously. I introspected – and I realized that I
wasn’t “marriage material” – so – I didn’t get married again…”
Someone called out
his name – so – Ashok excused himself and he went to meet the person.
The moment Ashok
had gone away – my wife suddenly appeared out of nowhere.
“Why were you
talking to that disgusting man…?” she said, angrily.
“Disgusting man…? He
is my course-mate Ashok. He left the Navy long ago. I will introduce you to him…”
I said to my wife.
“I don’t want to be
introduced to him…” my wife said, “and you better keep away from him…”
“What happened…?” I
asked my wife.
“The ladies were
talking about him. He is an immoral man…” she said.
“Immoral…?” I said,
surprised.
“Don’t you know…?” my
wife asked me.
“What…?” I said,
curious.
“He is “living in
sin” with a woman…” my wife said.
“Are you sure…? He
told me that he was unmarried…” I said to her.
“That’s what I am
telling you…” my wife said to me, “he is unmarried – but he is “shacked up”
with a woman half his age – lecherous fellow – you better keep away from him…”
_________
VIKRAM KARVE
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