EYEBROWS : Part 3
Story by VIKRAM KARVE
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Continued from EYEBROWS PART 2
http://karvediat.blogspot.com/2021/07/eyebrows-part-2.html
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PART 3
Eyebrow Watching
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EYEBROW WATCHING
To be honest – before this encounter
with my Boss’s Wife – I had never noticed eyebrows.
Earlier – whenever I saw a beautiful
woman – I would admire her face, her eyes, her nose, her lips, her cheeks, her
complexion, her neck, her hair, her legs, her cleavage, her derriere, her … – well – I will leave the rest to your
imagination.
Let me just say that
I would admire a woman’s entire body – but – I don’t recall admiring eyebrows.
Now – after the
tête-à-tête with my Boss’s Wife – whenever I saw a beautiful woman – I would
first look at her eyebrows.
You must have heard of
Birdwatching as a hobby.
In Birdwatching – you observe
actual birds in their natural surroundings.
You may have also indulged in “Birdwatching”
– in your younger days.
In “Birdwatching”
– you “watch” two-legged “birds” on streets, in workplaces etc. in urban
surroundings.
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Apropos the second type of
“Birdwatching” – there are three styles of “Birdwatching”:
1. You “watch” the entire “Bird”
(like a GP or Physician looks after your entire body)
2. You can become a “Specialist” –
and like “Specialists” do – you can “specialize” in “watching” a certain part
of the “Bird” – like face reading, navel gazing, leg admiring etc. etc. etc. – for
example.
3. You can become a “Super-Specialist”
– and narrow down your focus.
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“Eyebrow Watching” is a
“super-specialization” of “birdwatching” – instead of “watching” the entire
“bird” – or observing the entire face – you focus your attention on “eyebrows”
only.
I have derived great pleasure in
this hobby of “eyebrow watching” – and – I will always be grateful to my Boss’s
Wife who first drew my attention to the beauty and significance of eyebrows.
Now – to come back to the story –
I developed a deep curious interest in eyebrows.
So – whenever I met people – I started
observing their eyebrows.
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As I started observing various
types of human “eyebrows” – I was fascinated by this rather “insignificant”
part of human “anatomy”.
Dear Reader – this story happened
45 years ago in the 1970’s – when internet and search engines like Google did
not exist – and – the only source of information was books.
So – one evening – I walked down
from my ship to my favourite bookstore in Fort, Mumbai – and – I asked the
owner of the book shop:
“Have you got a book on eyebrows…?”
The bookshop owner gave me a
curious look and said:
“Eyebrows…? We may not have a book
on “eyebrows” – but – we do have a good book on “Face Reading” – it may have a
section of “Eyebrows” – let me see…”
He searched the shelves and
pulled out a book on FACE READING.
I eagerly opened the book – yes –
it had a few pages on “eyebrows” – with sketches too.
I bought the book and rushed back
to my ship – eager to read it.
The first thing I learnt was that
the art of face reading was called physiognomy – but – at that moment – I wasn’t
quite interested in the rest of the face – so – I immediately went to the pages
on “eyebrows”.
I started using my newfound
knowledge immediately – and – I started observing “eyebrows”.
“Why are you looking so deep into
my eyes…? Are you trying to seduce me…?” a woman said to me.
“I am not looking at your eyes –
I am looking at your eyebrows…” I said to her.
“What…? Are you a weirdo or
something…? Staring at eyebrows…!!!” she said with disgust – and – she angrily
walked away.
What an irony – when I was
looking deep into the eyes of my Boss’s Wife – she thought I was looking at her
eyebrows – and now – this woman – I was looking at her eyebrows – and she
thought I was looking deep into her eyes – trying to seduce her.
At a party – I observed “Doc”
talking to a woman for a long time – and – I said to him:
“You are on the right track –
bash on regardless…”
“Doc” looked at me – confused –
and he said to me:
“What do you mean…?”
“The woman you were talking to –
did you notice her lush “eyebrows” – how “bushy” her eyebrows were…?” I said to
“Doc”.
“What are you trying to say…?” he
said, looking curious.
“Weren’t you trying to seduce her…?
You are spot on – I think you will be successful in seducing her…” I said to
him.
“Seduce her…? She is a colleague –
and what the hell have her eyebrows got to do with it…?” he said.
“The theory says that if you want
to seduce a woman – try with a woman who has thick and bushy eyebrows…” I said
to “Doc”.
“And where did you read this
bloody theory…?” he said, suspiciously.
“I have got a book on face
reading – physiognomy – in your medical lingo – and – it is written there that
bushy eyebrows show a high sex drive – so – if you want to seduce a woman – try
with a woman who has thick and bushy eyebrows…” I said to “Doc”.
“Don’t bullshit…” “Doc” said, “a
woman can thicken her eyebrows with make-up – or even cosmetic surgery – an
eyebrow transplant…”
“I was talking about natural
eyebrows – maybe some women thicken their eyebrows artificially because they
want to attract men – it is a well-known fact that women with thicker eyebrows
look more attractive to me…”
“Well – I didn’t know that…!!!”
“Doc” said, “where have you suddenly acquired all this “eyebrow knowledge”…?”
“I told you that I bought a book
on “face reading”…” I said, “there is a full section on “eyebrows”…”
“Your Boss’s Wife has driven you
crazy – both of you are obsessed with eyebrows – she has “eyebrow
dysmorphophobia” – and you have developed a bloody “fetish” for eyebrows…”
“Doc” said to me.
When he mentioned my Boss’s Wife –
I suddenly remembered that “Doc” had promised to give her details of a cosmetic
surgeon to “correct” her eyebrows – so – I asked him:
“Hey – did you give my Boss’s
Wife the contact details of your Cosmetic Surgeon friend…?”
“Yes – I gave her his phone
number at the beginning of the party…” he said.
Indeed – “Doc” had given my Boss’s
Wife the Cosmetic Surgeon’s phone number – because – a few days later – my Boss
asked me to call the “Doc” to his cabin – and – he started shouting at “Doc”:
“Why the hell did you give my
wife that Cosmetic Surgeon’s phone number…? Do you know how much it is going to
cost me…?”
“Sir – she asked if I knew any
good Cosmetic Surgeon…” “Doc” said, sheepishly.
“And you…!” my Boss looked at me
and said, “what the hell did you tell my wife…?”
“Sir – I was looking at her – but
she thought I was looking at her eyebrows…” I said, feeling awkward.
“I don’t know why – but ever
since we got married – she keeps thinking that something is wrong with her
eyebrows…” my Boss said.
“Sir – actually – your wife has
got perfect eyebrows – “eyebrows on fleek” as they are called - absolutely flawless…”
I said to my Boss, “there is nothing wrong with her eyebrows – she has got BDD –
Body Dysmorphic Disorder – I think she needs to consult a psychiatrist…”
“You bloody idiots…” my Boss
shouted, “first – you want to send my wife to a cosmetic surgeon – and now – are
you telling me that my wife is a mental case…? You two just get out of my sight
– and keep away from my wife…”
“Doc” and I – we both beat a
hasty retreat.
Well – Dear Reader- my Boss’s
Wife indeed had BDD – or specifically “Eyebrow BDD” – because – even after a
series of treatments – an eyebrow transplant – eyebrow lift – etc. etc. etc. – her
obsession with her eyebrows continued.
I don’t know whether my Boss took
her for psychiatric treatment or not – because soon – I was transferred from this
ship to another ship.
But before I conclude this part
of the story – let me tell you what happened at my farewell party on this ship.
As a courtesy – my Captain’s wife
came to talk to me – and – during the conversation – I lavishly praised her
eyebrows:
“Ma’am – you have lovely eyebrows
– soft rounded eyebrows – perfect for your heart shaped face – and the shape of
your beautiful eyebrows indicate that you are a very kind and compassionate person
and you always care for other people’s needs…”
“Really…? You are so nice…” she
said to me with an affectionate look – and – she actually started blushing – just
imagine – she was probably more than double my age.
Next morning – I reported to the
Captain before leaving the ship.
“Sir – there is one thing I always
wanted to tell you…” I said to him.
“Shoot…” he said, in his
characteristic style.
“Sir – your eyebrows – you have
got a unibrow – a monobrow – it is a sign of good luck and signifies virility
and fertility…” I said to him.
I thought he would be happy on
hearing this – but – he seemed to be angry.
“You get out of here before I
declare you a bloody “psycho”…” the Captain shouted at me, “last night – my wife
said that you told her some mumbo jumbo about eyebrows – and now – you are trying
to bullshit me…!!!”
I saluted him and beat a hasty
retreat.
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EPILOGUE
Since those days – I have derived
great pleasure in this hobby of “eyebrow watching” – and – I will always be
grateful to my Boss’s Wife who first drew my attention to the beauty and
significance of eyebrows.
As far as Dysmorphophobia aka Body
Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) is concerned – I feel that Social Media may
proliferate BDD – and – body dysmorphic tendencies may rise – as many young
people may become preoccupied with looking good in the photos they upload –
especially “selfies” – and now – in these COVID times – with masks covering the
nose and lips – good eyebrows may attain prominence.
During the long COVID Lockdown – with beauty
parlours closed – eyebrows started attaining their natural shape – and you
could make out who really had good eyebrows.
“Eyebrow Watching” has certainly
become interesting nowadays – with “mask up” protocol highlighting the prominence
of eyes and eyebrows and reducing the importance of nose and lips – there has
been a paradigm shift in the definition of beauty – especially facial beauty.
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MORAL OF THE STORY
If – after reading this story –
you start observing eyebrows – offline and online – I will feel that my story
has succeeded.
Offline – in real life – look at
people – masks cover lips and nose – not eyebrows.
Online – on the Social Media –
look at Profile Pictures and Selfies – observed eyebrows.
When you look into the mirror – observe
your own eyebrows.
And then – if you get hooked to “Eyebrow
Watching” – you can always “Google” – and learn all you want to know about “Eyebrows”.
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Dear Reader – Happy “Eyebrow Watching”
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