“Macho Man”

“MACHO MAN”

Story

By

VIKRAM KARVE

PART 1 – THE “CLIENT”

“I want to divorce my wife…” he said.

“Why…?” I asked him.

“Adultery…” he said.

“Oh. Your wife has committed adultery. Is she having an extra-marital affair…?” I asked him.

“No…” he said, “I have committed adultery. I am having extra-marital affairs…”

“Oh…” I said, “So your wife found out about your infidelity – and now – she is asking for divorce on grounds of adultery…”

“No…” he said, “My wife knows nothing about my affairs….”

“Then what is the problem…? You can continue having a “good time”. Why do you want a divorce…? Do you want to marry someone with whom you are having an affair..?” I asked him.

“Please. Don’t ask me too many questions. You are the best divorce lawyer in town. Just get me a quick divorce…” he said.

“Okay. I’ll need some details – about you – your wife – and some other information. I have to go to court now – so – please sit with my assistant and give her whatever details she asks for…” I said to him, “We will study your case and call you for your next appointment…”

“Okay…” he said.

I called my assistant – I briefed her – and – I left my office to go to court for an important divorce case.

PART 2 – “MACHO MAN”

On the way to court – I thought about my latest “client”.

He was my classmate in college.

He was the “prima donna” of our course – handsome, smart and debonair.

His nickname was “Macho Man” – because of his superb physique.

I was not surprised that he was having extra-marital affairs.

A tall, strapping, flamboyant man endowed with an excellent physique – he had been a “Casanova” even when we were in college – 20 years ago.

Girls seemed to be attracted to him – and – he had a way with girls and he knew how to seduce them.

While most of us were shy “virgins” – he seemed to be having a “good time”.

We always listened with awe – as he regaled us with intimate accounts of his passionate lovemaking – and – the exhilarating carnal delights he had experienced.

We felt fascinated when he described the vivid details of his spicy erotic conquests and lascivious sexual exploits in a language that would make a sailor blush.

Yes – “Macho Man” seemed to be a true “Casanova” – a “Don Juan” – a “Romeo” par excellence – and – we all looked up to him with a sense of awe and envious admiration.

After completing our Bachelor’s Degree in Science (B.Sc.) – I studied Law (LL.B.) – and “Macho Man” joined the Navy.

We had not met since college – but now – he had located me via the college alumni network – and – he had landed up in my office – asking me to take up his divorce case.

PART 3 – DIVORCE

One week later – “Macho Man” sat in front of me in my office.

I looked at “Macho Man”.

Then – I said to him: “We did a discreet background check. And – our private investigation revealed some startling information…”

“Startling Information…?” he asked me.

“Your wife is having an extra-marital affair – not you…” I said.

“How did you find out…?” he asked, looking surprised.

“Never mind how we found out. You just tell me if it is true…” I said.

“Yes…” he said, “My wife is having an affair…”

“And you…” I asked him.

“No. I am not having an affair…” he said.

“Then why did you lie to me that you were having an affair…? You told me that you had committed adultery – whereas – it is your wife who is committing adultery…” I said to him.

“Macho Man” looked at me and said: “For a man in my position – it is better to be seen as a “Casanova” than a “Cuckold”…”

“What do you mean…?” I asked him.

“I am a senior officer in command of so many men. I have created a tough “image” due to my formidable appearance and commanding personality. I have a strong reputation that I am a redoubtable officer who can take charge of anything and anyone. Just imagine what will happen if everyone finds out that I am a weak cuckold who is unable to take charge of his own wife…?” he said, “I will lose the respect of my men – and my fellow officers – they would all scoff at me and make fun of me…”

“So – you are “faking” adultery – just for the sake of your image…?” I asked him.

“Yes…” he said, “Isn’t it true that a “Casanova” who has extra-marital sexual conquests is admired and envied by other men. On the other hand – a “Cuckold” whose wife is committing adultery and having extra-marital affairs – he becomes a “laughing stock” and is mocked at with derision. In my position – I would rather be a source of envy than an object of ridicule…”

He had a point.

If a husband has an affair – the deceived wife receives sympathy.

But – if a wife has an extra-marital affair – the cuckolded husband is ridiculed and mocked at – and he becomes a “laughing stock” in society – especially among his fellow men.

“Macho Man” wanted to enjoy the “glory” of being a virile “Stud Bull” rather than suffer the “stigma” of being an impotent “cuckold”.

That’s why he was “boasting” that he was having extra-marital affairs – when he knew that it was his wife who was committing adultery.  

EPILOGUE

I had handled many divorce cases involving adultery.

But in all cases – the clients had accused their partners of committing adultery.

This was the first time that a client wanted divorce on “self-confessed adultery”.

It was easy.

I spoke to Macho Man’s wife and told her everything.

“Let him feel happy…” she said – and she agreed to an amicable divorce.

Meanwhile – as “Macho Man” had desired – rumor was spread that his wife had divorced him because of his sexual conquests – which enhanced his “image” as a “Casanova”.

His wife quietly moved in with her lover – and – they lived happily ever after.

All’s well that ends well. 

VIKRAM KARVE

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Disclaimer:

1. This is a fictional spoof, satire, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.

2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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