Out Pipe – Part 1 – Story from My Navy Days

NAVY CUT

Tobacco – the Navy Connection 

OUT PIPE

Story 

By

VIKRAM KARVE

NB:

1. This story happened 42 years ago in the 1970’s.

2. For the benefit of my civilian readers – certain Naval Terms have been explained in brackets/italics. Military/Naval/Veteran readers may skip these explanations.

PART 1

We sailed out after breakfast in the morning.

At around 10 AM – “Special Sea Dutymen” (SSD) had been “secured” after we left Vizag harbour.

[Special Sea Dutymen (SSD) are key sailors involved in certain important evolutions of the ship like entering/leaving harbour, anchoring, coming alongside, close-quarter manoeuvring, refuelling at sea etc. Officers and Key Senior/Junior Sailors and in each department man/operate vital posts/equipment during these evolutions].

SSD had been “closed up” before leaving harbour – and – SSD was “secured” after leaving harbour.

[“close up” means to immediately proceed to place of duty. “secure” means to stop work. After the evolution is completed – the SSD hands over duties to the “Duty Watch” and the SSD “secures”. The “Duty Watch” performs their assigned duties for the 4 hours “Watch” – at sea – the working day is divided into watches of 4 hours each – starting midnight – with two dog watches of 2 hours each in the evening – in order to escape the monotony of standing the same watch every day].

At 10:30 AM – “Stand Easy” was “piped”.

[“Pipe” (or Boatswain’s Call) is a command issued by the Quartermaster over the ship’s broadcast system – it comprises a boatswain's “call” – a methodical wailing whistle peculiar for each “command” – followed the verbal “command” spoken clearly on the ship’s broadcast system. “Stand Easy” is a short break for the crew in the day’s work routine for a cup of tea and a smoke].

“Stand Easy” had been piped – and – we were enjoying a cup of tea with snacks in the Wardroom.

Suddenly – the Ship’s Main Broadcast System (SRE) crackled to life – and we were surprised to hear a rather funny announcement:

“Cigarette Band”  ( सिगरेट बंद )

We were wondering about this crazy announcement – when we heard the next announcement:

“Executive Officer requested Bridge – Captain’s Compliments…”

This was going to be fun – it seemed that the XO was going to get a “Bottle” from the Captain.

[The term “Bottle” is Naval Slang for reprimand].

So – I went up to the ship’s bridge to see the fun.

The furious Captain was shouting at the XO.

“What the hell is happening…? What is this bloody “Cigarette Band” ( सिगरेट बंद ) nonsense…?” the Captain asked the XO.

“Sir – “Cigarette Band” ( सिगरेट बंद ) is the Hindi translation for “Out Pipe”. The Quartermaster was piping “Out Pipe” after “Stand Easy”…” the XO said.

[Normally – “Stand Easy” time is from 10:30 AM to 10:45 AM in the morning and for 10 minutes in the afternoon from 3 PM to 3:10 PM.  After “Stand Easy” time is over – there is a Boatswain’s Call – “Out Pipe” – asking the sailors to get back to work after their “Tea and Smoke” break. The word “Pipe” in “Out Pipe” refers to Tobacco “Pipe”. In earlier days – most sailors smoked “Pipes” – Tobacco Pipes. It was thought that the nicotine in tobacco smoke boosted your mental clarity, gave you more energy and soothed your fatigue – so – sailors would be rejuvenated after “Stand Easy” break. On hearing the “Out Pipe” – sailors would extinguish their smoking tobacco pipes – and get back to work.  “Out Pipe” is also sounded after Breakfast, Lunch Break, or whenever men are required to come up from their messes to muster for work].

“Sir – “Cigarette Band” ( सिगरेट बंद ) is the Hindi translation for “Out Pipe”. The Quartermaster was piping “Out Pipe” after “Stand Easy” time was over…” the XO explained to the Captain.

“But why the hell are we making such ridiculous “pipes” in Hindi on this ship…?” the Captain bellowed.

“Sir – there is a recent letter from Naval Headquarters (NHQ) to encourage use of Hindi in the Navy – and – they have forwarded a list of Hindi Equivalent Words for Navy Terminology…” the XO said, “and the Hindi experts in the Navy had translated “Out Pipe” as “Cigarette Band” ( सिगरेट बंद ).

(Literally translated – “Cigarette Band” means “Cigarette Shut/Close/Stop”)

“Pipes are not Cigarettes…” the Captain opined, “the correct Hindi name for “Pipe” is “Chillum” ( चिल्लम ) – or – “Hookah” ( हुक्का ). So – “Out Pipe” should be translated as “Chillum Band” ( चिल्लम बंद ) – or – “Hookah Band” ( हुक्का बंद ) – isn’t it…?”

“Yes, Sir…” the XO said.

“Send a letter to Naval Headquarters (NHQ) accordingly…” the Captain said.

“Aye Aye, Sir…” the XO said. 

(“Aye Aye” means “I understand and I will comply”)

“And one more thing – “Number One”…” the Captain said.

(Colloquially – on a ship – the Captain addresses his XO as “Number One” – with reference to the term “First Lieutenant” – as the Executive Officer was colloquially called in earlier Royal Navy Days). 

“Yes, Sir…?” the XO said.

“Stop these Hindi announcements. I don’t want sailors to get confused. Many sailors don’t understand Hindi that well. Tomorrow – they may ask me to give “Conning Orders” in Hindi – and there will be chaos. Remember – the Navy sails in international waters – so – in the Navy – we work in English. So – no more Hindi announcements on this ship…” the Captain said.

“Sir – the NHQ letter…” the XO stammered.

The Captain interrupted him and said sternly: “Till I am in Command of this ship – all “pipes” and “announcements” will be in English. Do you understand…?”

“Aye Aye, Sir…” the XO said.

So – “Cigarette Band” ( सिगरेट बंद ) was “Band” ( बंद ). 

And – we were back to the proper traditional announcement – “Out Pipe”.

To be continued in Part 2...

VIKRAM KARVE 

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work. 
© vikram karve., all rights reserved. 

Disclaimer:

1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.

2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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© vikram karve., all rights reserved.