Do I deserve a “distinguished service” medal...?

Humor in Uniform

DO I DESERVE A “DISTINGUISHED” SERVICE MEDAL…?

A Story

By

VIKRAM KARVE

It was my retirement farewell party.

I was retiring from the Navy on attaining the age of superannuation after completing more than 34 years of commissioned service.

My friend was speaking about me – the customary “farewell speech” describing the retiring officer’s “contribution” to service.

Everyone listened as my friend spoke about me.

We were close friends – we had done courses together – and we had been “shipmates” on a “stone frigate”. 

My friend was just one year senior to me – but he had done well in his career and had reached Flag Rank – whereas I had “fallen by the wayside”.

My friend spoke very highly of me – he eulogized me – showering me with lavish praise – as he traced my entire naval career – highlighting my “achievements”.

Hearing his “eulogy” – full of accolades – I felt good – but – I really wondered whether I really deserved all that high praise.

I wondered that – if I was really so good as my friend had described me – then – why hadn’t the Navy promoted me to high rank…?

The least they could have done is to give me a “distinguished service” medal.

So – after the speeches were over – I asked my friend:

“Sir – the way you spoke about me – and my accomplishments – don’t you think I deserve at least a VSM…?”

(Vishisht Seva Medal (VSM) is awarded to recognize “distinguished service of a high order”)

On hearing my “demand” for a VSM – my Friend turned to my course-mate (who was in “high spirits”) – and – he asked my course-mate:

“You are his course-mate. You tell me – “Does he deserve a VSM…?”…”

In reply – my course-mate said these “flattering” words about me:

“Sir – I don’t know whether he deserves a VSM or not – but – his wife surely deserves a VSM for staying with a crazy bugger like him for so many years – maybe she deserves an AVSM – or even a PVSM…”

(Ati Vishisht Seva Medal (AVSM) is awarded to recognize distinguished service of an “exceptional order” and Param Vishisht Seva Medal (PVSM) for distinguished service of the “most exceptional order”)

Ha Ha – let me repeat my course-mate’s “flattering” words about me:

“Sir – I don’t know whether he deserves a VSM or not – but – his wife surely deserves a VSM for staying with a crazy bugger like him for so many years – maybe she deserves an AVSM – or even a PVSM…”

Trust your course-mates to deliver the “coup de grace”  

Like I always say:

“If you want to know the true character of an officer – ask his course-mates” 

VIKRAM KARVE

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Disclaimer:
1. This story is a spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
2. This story is a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story is a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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