How to Organise Cocktail Party – Most Important Tip

COCKTAIL PARTY SUCCESS MANTRA

HOW I ORGANIZED SUCCESSFUL PARTIES

Memoirs of my “extra-curricular” Navy Life

A Spoof

By

VIKRAM KARVE

A Naval Officer is supposed to be a “Jack of all Trades but Master on One”

So – in addition to your professional “tradecraft” (your primary duty in which you are supposed to be a “Master”) – in the Navy – you are given a lot of “Bum Jobs” (euphemistically called “secondary duties”) – which you are supposed to perform to the best of your ability.

One of the “Bum Jobs” I enjoyed was organizing parties.

I was asked to this quite often – even when I was not the Mess Secretary. 

This indicated that I was good at organizing parties.

There are many “tips” for organizing good parties – food, drinks, snacks, décor, games, music, dancing, prizes, gifts, various arrangements for service etc – and I am sure you know most of them.

But – I will give you just one “tip” – the most important “tip” – which you probably don’t know.

Well – I used this “technique” with great success in official cocktail parties – but I am sure you can use it in various types of cocktail parties as well.

COCKTAIL PARTY SUCCESS MANTRA

This “mantra” is breathtaking in its simplicity:

LET ALCOHOL FLOW FREELY but KEEP WATER SCARCE 

I will repeat the “mantra” once more: 

Let Booze Flow Freely but Restrict Water/Soda 

I used to instruct the stewards to pour generous “Patiala Pegs” (three fingers of Whisky or Rum – which filled almost half the Whisky Tumbler).

All glasses were to be topped up with water or soda (a 50/50 Whisky-Soda or Rum-Water Combination)

Whisky and Soda were served separately only to the “VIP” – but even he was given a stiff “three finger peg” – and – the moment he picked up his glass – the Soda was quickly taken out of sight.

The stewards were given strict instructions to make alcohol easily available in plenty – but to keep water and soda scarce.

Now – like it happens in all “Fauji” Military Parties – all officers would crowd around the “VIP” or senior officers – vying for their attention.

The moment an officer sipped his drink – he would find it quite stiff – a bit too strong for his palate.

I made sure that water or soda was not available – the stewards would keep circulating with stiff “three finger peg” filled glasses of Whisky/Rum – but they were under strict instructions not to serve water/soda.

Now the officers had to choose from one of the two options:

1. Either they could leave the coveted “inner circle” by excusing themselves from the “VIP” – and they would walk all the way to the bar to get soda or water 

(Most “careerist” officers would hesitate to do this – since they would imagine that “excusing” themselves from the “VIP” may not be appreciated by the Senior Officer)

2. Or – they could continue to be in close company with the “VIP” – and keep sipping their drink 

After some time – their palate and tongue would get used to the strong drink. 

(Most officers would fall in this category)

Even for the “VIP” – he would be “encouraged” to sip his stiff drink – rather than making soda available easily.

The primary aim of a military cocktail party is to get the “VIP” quite drunk – or at least “high” – since – having the “VIP” in high spirits augurs well for the ship or unit. 

The pinnacle of success of a military cocktail party is achieved – if the “VIP” gets so drunk that he can hardly stand – and he has to helped out at the end the party.

Alcohol would flow freely – but – Water would be scarce.

Snacks and “small eats” would be kept out of sight – till everyone had imbibed enough alcohol and was in “high spirits”.

Within an hour – “spirits” would be high – and the party would be “swinging”.

Within two hours – most officers would have imbibed enough alcohol to achieve an abundant state of inebriation.

At the end of the party – three hours later – there would be atmosphere of drunken revelry and bonhomie.

Next morning – nursing their hangovers – everyone would “remember” what an enjoyable party it was – and I would be flooded with appreciation. 

“Memorable” parties are those in which you get so drunk – that you don’t remember anything next morning. 

Also – with everyone drunk – there would always be some hilarious antics by someone in his inebriated drunken state – which would be the talking point for the next few days. 

I remember a party where an officer got so drunk and emotional that he prostrated himself before the “VIP” at the end of the party 

(The “VIP” was also in “high spirits” – swaying from side to side – as he staggered towards his staff car) 

Next morning – everyone said that it was a most memorable cocktail party.

NB: 

Those days – in the Navy – officers drank as per the “colour of the sky” – so at evening cocktail parties – Whisky and Rum was served – and “pansy cocktails” and “ladies drinks” were kept out of these all-male “hard drinking” affairs.

It has been my experience that this “mantra” – Let alcohol flow freely but keep water scarce – works well for all cocktail parties. 

Pour “Three Finger Patiala Pegs” of Rum/Whisky and top them up with water/soda – and then – disappear the water/soda and let Rum/Whisky flow freely. 

Once the first stiff peg is down – your guests will get used to strong pegs – and start downing them fast – their “spirits” will be “high” pretty soon – and the party will be a grand success with everyone “enjoying” themselves in alcoholic trance. 

Also – with everyone in “happy” states of drunkenness – you don’t have to bother too much about the food – since – at the end of the hard drinking bout – with their “gustatory” abilities dulled with alcohol – your guests won’t discern the taste of food very much. 

The “proof of the pudding” of the success of the party is – if your guests get so drunk – that they don’t remember anything next morning – what they ate – how the party ended – how they got home – they should remember nothing – and they should wake up with a heavy hangover. 

Such guys will always say that the party was a “success”. 

So – “Let the Booze Flow Freely but keep the water scarce...”

Dear Reader: 

Next time you host a cocktail party – try it – and let us know if it worked for you. 

VIKRAM KARVE

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Updated Re-Post of my Story COCKTAIL PARTY SUCCESS MANTRA posted earlier in this blog at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/10/cocktail-party-success-mantra.html