Humor in Uniform – Feedback Report

Humor in Uniform 

Feedback Report

EXERCISE “NUKTA CHEENI” aka NUKTACHINI ( नुक्ताचीनी )

Unforgettable Memories of my IAT Girinagar Days

A Spoof

By

VIKRAM KARVE

Long back – at IAT Pune – each Officer-in-Charge (OIC) of a Training Course was required to conduct an “end of course feedback session”.

This was called Exercise “Nukta-Cheeni” (  नुक्ताचीनी ) 

In Hindi – the expression “Nukta Cheeni” means “to find fault” 

So – I guess – the trainees were supposed to find some faults with the course they had just attended.

In the Navy we were not familiar with such “mumbo jumbo” gobbledygook – so I guess this expression must have originated from the Army – where Hindi is the predominant language.

Also – in the Navy – no one gave a damn about things like feedback – especially for training courses.

You finished the course – enjoyed some chilled beer with the faculty at a Pre-Lunch Drinks (PLD) Beering Session – and that was that.

IAT was a inter-service institution – comprising Army, Navy and Air Force Officers – and Defence Scientists too – but it was run on Army lines those days – more than 30 years ago – in the 1980s – they took this “Exercise Nukta-Cheeni” quite seriously 

Yes – in true “Pongo” Style – they called it an “exercise”.

And – as a young Officer-in-Charge (OIC) of a premier postgraduate course – I decided to conduct “Exercise Nukta-Cheeni” meticulously “by the book” – as prescribed in the Standing Orders.

It was the last working day of the course – and the student officers were eager to pack their luggage and proceed on transfer to their respective ships/units.

So – they wanted to get over this “Nukta-Cheeni” exercise as quickly as possible.

This prestigious two years long course was also awarded the Master of Engineering Degree (ME) by the University of Pune.

Students had just submitted their dissertations – and as per practice – the dissertation viva-voce examination would be held a few months later – for which the student officers would be summoned on Ty Duty from their ships/units.

Now – I happened to be the only “recognized” University Examiner and Dissertation Guide for that particular course.

So – ipso facto – as their Guide – I would be examining their dissertations as an internal examiner – and thus – I would play vital role in their final grading – since the dissertation carried a huge weightage.

That is why most student officers were quite circumspect in their “nukta-cheeni” – and they avoided “finding fault” with the course or with the faculty – since they did not want to annoy me.

Everyone ticked the right answers – wrote glowing reports about the conduct of the course – and praised the faculty – especially me – both as an instructor and as Officer-in-Charge (OIC) of the Course – since they wanted to be in my “good books” – when the time came for their dissertation viva-voce examination. 

Also – most importantly – as their “Course OIC” – I would be writing their course reports too – which would matter for their Naval Careers. 

I started reading the feedback forms submitted by the student officers.

Reading the flattering feedback they had given me – it was a big “ego massage” for me – and I was feeling good.

Suddenly – I read a feedback form: 

“The “Course OIC” has got an “Abrasive Personality”...”

Now – this was real “nukta-cheeni”. 

I was the “Course OIC” – and the insolent bugger had written that I had an “Abrasive Personality”...

My ego was punctured – so – I angrily asked the concerned student officer: 

“What the hell do you mean by your statement that I have got an “Abrasive Personality”...?”

Seeing my anger – the contrite student officer backtracked to make amends: 

“Sir – I meant it in a “positive sense”...”

“What...? “Positive Sense”...? Are you trying to bullshit me? How can “Abrasive Personality” be a positive attribute...?” I thundered.

“Sir – I meant that you are straightforward and outspoken. I am sorry, Sir – I will fill up another feedback form...” the student officer said.

“No. I am going to forward this “nukta-cheeni” form to the Director and Dean as it is – exactly as you wrote it – the aim of this feedback exercise is to find fault – and that is what you have done – if you feel that I have an “Abrasive Personality” – so be it – let everyone know that I have an abrasive personality...” I said.

At night – before going to sleep – I thought about it – and I realized that the “nukta-cheeni” done by the student officer was bang-on accurate.

Indeed – I did have an “Abrasive Personality” 

And – maybe – I do so even now.

The student officer qualified for his Masters in Engineering (ME) in first class with distinction with top marks in dissertation – yes – I gave him the top marks he deserved in his dissertation. 

People with “Abrasive Personality” never harm anybody. 

In fact – like “sandpaper” – “abrasive” persons give a shine to whoever comes in contact with them.

I have experienced this in my long career in the Navy 

It is always better to have an “abrasive” boss – rather than a “smooth” operator.

VIKRAM KARVE

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Disclaimer:

1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.

2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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This is an updated, abridged and revised Re-Post of my Story posted by me online earlier in June 2, 2014.

Link to my original post in my Academic and Creative Writing Journal: 

http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/06/humor-in-uniform-exercise-nukta-cheeni.html  and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/06/humor-in-uniform-abrasive-personality.html  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/03/are-you-smooth-operator-or-do-you-have.html  and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/05/girinagar-memories-exercise-nukta.html