Humor in Uniform – Navy “Bulls” and “Bears”

HUMOUR IN UNIFORM

Recently – a “Faujan” (Army Wife) asked me why Naval Officers were so interested in the stock market.

Her question reminded me of this story of an unforgettable character I encountered during my wonderful Navy days.

NAVY “BULLS” AND “BEARS”

A Spoof

By

VIKRAM KARVE

This happened 37 years ago – in the 1970’s.

Six of us “piddly” Sub Lieutenants from various ships sat in front of a chubby Commander in Western Naval Command Headquarters (those days the Headquarters was located in a civilian building in Fort area of Mumbai).

We had been “detailed” for some “bum jobs” connected with Navy Week – and the “Shore Based Mogul” was briefing us.

Unlike today (post AVS 2006) – when you can see Commanders floating around a dime a dozen – those days – Commander was a senior rank.

Suddenly – the phone on the table rang – and the Commander picked it up.

Whatever he heard on the phone – it suddenly galvanized the podgy Commander into action.

The Commander abruptly stood up – and he told us that something urgent had come up.

He told us that he would be back soon – and instructed us to wait for him till he returned from his most urgent errand.

He threw a file in front of us – and he told us to read it till he got back.

Then – he swiftly grabbed a civilian bush shirt which was hanging on the hat-stand – and he wore the blue bush-shirt over his white uniform shirt.

He picked up his briefcase – and he disappeared at the speed of light.

We waited patiently in his office – almost half an hour passed.

Then – we went over to the office hall – and we asked his staff if they knew when he would be back.

“Don’t worry. He must have gone to Dalal Street to meet his broker in the Stock Exchange. He will be back soon,” the Commander’s PA said.

(Remember – this happened in the 1970’s when there was no internet, no online trading – and you had to physically trade stocks through your broker)

When the Commander returned – he seemed quite cheerful and in a very happy mood.

I do not know whether he was a “Bull” or a “Bear” – but from his happy mood – it appeared that he had made a lot of money that day.

After a “brief” briefing on the “official” matter – he educated us on investing and trading in shares – and he told us how much money could be made in the stock market – rather than the conventional savings methods which we were doing like Provident Fund and Bank Fixed Deposits.

Later on – during my career – I met many such “Bulls” and “Bears” in the Navy – who were more preoccupied with the Stock Market rather than their Naval Duties.

Now – thanks to internet – with the advent of online trading – it has become ever so easy for these “punters” to indulge in their stock market trading – even during working hours – and from remote locations – you can use your PC, your laptop, or even your mobile smart-phone to indulge in “satta bazaar”– and you can do it round the clock 24/7 – anytime – and from anywhere.

Someone told me that – nowadays – Navy Wives are heavily into online trading on the stock market – and they are earning good money “working” from home on the “satta bazaar”.

For the benefit of “Faujans” – maybe AWWA NWWA and AFWWA can conduct training courses on “How to Make Money at the Stock Market” and facilitate young wives to do online trading/investment in stocks, equity shares and mutual funds – after all what better “welfare” than educate and motivate young “Faujans” to become financially secure.

VIKRAM KARVE

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Disclaimer:

1. This article is a spoof, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.

2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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Abridged Version of My Article "Businessmen in Uniform" First Posted Online by me Vikram Karve on 14 December 2013 12/14/2013 12:52:00 PM  in my blog at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/12/businessmen-in-uniform-part-1.html