EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

Here is a famous Mulla Nasrudin Story… you may have heard it before…I am sure you will enjoy reading it…


Nasrudin wanted to protect his daughter from the dangers of life.



When the time had come to make her worldly-wise and she had grown into a true flower of beauty, he took his daughter aside and told her about the baseness and malice of the world.



“My dear daughter,” he said, “remember what I tell you. All men want only one thing. Yes, remember that men are very cunning. They set traps wherever they can. You don’t realize how you sink deeper and deeper into the swamp of their desires. I want to show you the way of unhappiness.”



“Traps…Unhappiness…?” his innocent daughter asked.



“Yes…this is how they go about it…first the man swoons about your best features, and he admires you…then he invites you to go out with him…then the two of you pass his house and he mentions that he just wants to fetch his coat. He asks you if you would like to come in the house with him. Upstairs he invites you to have a seat and he offers you some tea. The two of you listen to music and when the time is right he suddenly throws himself on you. In this way you are violated and we, your parents, are violated, our family is violated and our good reputation is gone….and once your reputation is ruined, it is destroyed forever...”



The daughter took these words of her father to heart. Sometime later she came up to her father and smiled proudly. “Dad,” she said, “you are really great. How did you know how everything happens…? It was exactly like you described it. First he admired my beauty. Then he asked me out. As if by coincidence we passed his house. There the poor fellow noticed he had forgotten his coat. And, so that I wouldn’t be alone, he invited me to come on into his apartment. As good manners require, he offered me tea and brightened the day with beautiful music. At the point, I thought of your words and I knew exactly what would happen. But you see… I am worthy to be your daughter… When I felt the moment coming, I threw myself on him and violated him, his parents, his family, and ruined his good reputation...yes, I destroyed his reputation forever…”




Now, that is what can happen is there is a communication gap, isn’t it…? You say something, mean something, and the listener interprets something else…it all depends on “mental maps”…so please see that your mental maps are in sync before you communicate…