A Gallimaufry of my academic and creative writing - fiction, short stories, articles, musings, book reviews, technology, management, philosophy, self help, food, travel, health, inspirational and academic writing
Friday, April 30, 2010
DO YOU WANT TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE
VIP Culture - A Mulla Nasrudin Story
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
P's and Q's of MARKETING - The Law of the Hammer
The Law of the Hammer
Technological Marketing focuses on inducing substitution, or seducing the buyer to purchase the new product or service.
PLAYING WITH YOUR DOG
HOW TO PLAY WITH YOUR DOG
TUG OF WAR
By
VIKRAM KARVE
There is no better stress buster, health tonic and joyful activity than playing with your dog.
Here are a few games I play with my pet girl Sherry. [Her mother is pure Doberman and father the Caravan Hound, who prowled next door]
Did you like Sherry’s picture above, relaxing on the grassy green lawn of her bungalow in the verdant and lush hill forests of Girinagar.
Sherry is not a cute cuddly indoor lapdog, nor is she merely an excitable watch dog who only barks at intruders – she is a superb guard dog, strong, fast, active and ferocious, ready to attack in order to protect what she considers her territory, which includes our house and family, especially her Master – woe betide anyone who comes menacingly to close to me for her comfort, particularly approaching joggers, cyclists et al.
Whenever Sherry wants to play, she invites me to play by adopting the “playful pose” – her front legs lowered, her butt raised up in the air, her tail high up in the air wagging friendly, her eyes looking upwards invitingly into mine, her ears up alerts and her mouth is open in a "grin".
Normally I respond immediately, but sometimes if I am preoccupied and inadvertently do not notice her, Sherry will some near me, raise her paws, giving cyclic shake hands, beckon me with friendly entreating sounds, and if even that doesn’t work, she will run and get her ball [to play “fetch-the-ball], her toy bone [for the “ bone game”] or just run round and round at top speed in our garden [for the chase game] – now all these are vigorous outdoor games.
Indoors, our favourite game is “tug of war”, for it too is a spirited, energetic, rough and tough game; robust mental and physical exercise both for Sherry and me.
After a long hiatus, it is raining incessantly out here in Girinagar, so we’ve had to call off our evening walk up the hills, and Sherry is getting restless, so I suddenly command: “Pusa…Pusa…Gheun Ye…” [Now, Sherry is a Maharashtrian Doberman, and in Marathi, Pusa… Pusa means “wipe… wipe” and refers to her towel…when Sherry was a baby I would give her a bath and then say Pusa…Pusa while wiping her vigorously with her Turkish towel so she associates Pusa…Pusa with a towel or any such cloth].
Sherry rushes off delightfully and brings her towel in her mouth and offers it to me to start the tug-of-war game. A thick Turkish towel is the best tug of war toy – it is sturdy yet soft, good for her teeth and easy for me to hold, and even when the going gets rough, Sherry loves the vigorous feel of the towel rubbing against her neck, head and body.
It is a rough and tough game of strength and skill – you just don’t pull – actually it is not a tug of war, but rather a jiggle, wiggle, waggle, jerk, squirm, twist and turn, and shake of war so I do all sorts of manoeuvres, shaking, teasing, loosening and improvising; in fact Sherry thinks up numerous ways to win this tug of war.
We play in a large area without distractions, clutter or dangerous objects. Outdoors is great, but the beauty of tug of war is that it can be safely played indoors if you have a bit of space. Make sure there is room for you both to move about and that there is nothing in the way should one of you back up.
As the game of tug of war hot up, Sherry [and me too] gets highly excited, wags her tail briskly and mock growls, so I rub against her and say in her ear…baba la gurr…baba la gurr – dogs love body contact and speaking in their ears.
With experience I learnt tricks of the trade – you cannot always win by pulling alone – it is like flying kites – you have to give dheel sometimes followed by a jhatka – and then jittery shakes – the possibilities are endless.
Conventional wisdom says that the “owner” must win all the time to assert his dominance in the “pack”. But I let Sherry win sometimes. I don’t need to “establish” my place in the “hierarchy” – do you need to establish your place in the hierarchy with your daughter, or son, or wife?
A tough dog needs to bite. Biting is in a dog’s natural instinct and temperament and it is one of the best natural ways for dogs to release pent up stress and energy. It is better Sherry happily releases her pent up stress and energy on the inanimate tug of war towel than some hapless animate object, isn’t it?
If things get too rough, or I am tired and want to end the game, I just softly say: “Drop it” and Sherry lets go of the towel and then I give her a tit-bit.
I love playing tug-of-war with Sherry – it is a mentally and physically stimulating game for Sherry and me and is a great form of aerobic exercise too. And it is so much fun – playing tug of war with Sherry is a most enjoyable and satisfying pastime.
Tug of War is a rough game so only I [or my son who is also a tough guy]play tug of war with Sherry – I never allow small kids near Sherry, let alone let them play tug of war with her.
As I write this on my laptop, Sherry is calling me to play tug of war. Sherry tries to entice me with her Pusa…Pusa towel in her mouth rubbing against my thigh, so here I go to play a vigorous bout of tug of war with Sherry.
VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 2010
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Monday, April 26, 2010
Saturday, April 24, 2010
MUTUAL RESPECT A Mulla Nasrudin Story
He agreed, and they set out towards his house, the students walking behind Mulla Nasrudin, who had mounted his donkey in an unusual funny reverse way, with his own face towards the donkey’s tail.
People began to stare at the strange spectacle and laugh mockingly.
Who after all, walks behind a man who rides a donkey back to front in this peculiar opposite way facing the donkey’s rear…?
After a little while the students began to feel embarrassed and became uneasy so they said to Nasrudin: “Respected Teacher, people are looking at us and laughing, making fun of us. Why do you ride your donkey in this strange manner…?”
Nasrudin smiled benevolently and said: “You are worried about what people think rather than try to understand why we travelling this way. I shall explain it to you.
If you walk in front of me, this would show your disrespect to me, because you would have your backs to me.
If I walked behind you, the same would be true.
If I ride on the donkey ahead of you sitting on the donkey and facing forward with my back towards you, this shows my disrespect for you.
GODSPEED A Teacher says Good Bye to his Students
PRIORITIES
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Ou Dieu vous a seme, il faut savoir fleurir
By
VIKRAM KARVE
Long back I learnt a trick from an eminent trainer on how to get the audience to focus. I too use this technique on a few occasions when I want my audience to settle down to receptive vibes.
The moment you take the stage, you tell the audience to close their eyes for one minute and think of the one person who they consider as their most important mentor.
A few days ago, one of my brilliant ex-students, who attended a motivational lecture in her new organization and was subjected to the same exercise, rang me up and told me that it was my face that came to her mind as a mentor. Then she talked about her work, that she was not very happy with her new workplace which apparently did not measure up to her high expectations. I feel privileged that my ex-student considers me a mentor and I write this “pep talk” especially for her and all my dear mentees, protégées and protégés .
Ou Dieu vous a seme, il faut savoir fleurir
YOU MUST KNOW HOW TO FLOWER WHERE GOD HAS SOWN YOU
Every person, sooner or later, goes through a moment when it seems that he or she is on the wrong road, that his entire way of life is wrong.
Have you ever experienced this feeling?
Think about it.
Do you find yourself stuck in an incongruous career or in an incompatible relationship or in a redundant place?
And sadly there is nothing you can do about it, owing to compulsions and constraints beyond your control.
You cannot turn around and retrace your steps or change your road of life.
It seems you have crossed the point of no return and you have no choice but to keep on travelling on the “wrong” road of life.
Failure follows failure.
And with repeated failure comes the fear of failure.
It is indeed a terrible vicious cycle which gradually overwhelms you with the chill of despondency.
What can you do in such a situation?
Maybe the answer lies in a saying I read somewhere a few years ago and noted in my diary:
“ Ou Dieu vous a seme, il faut savoir fleurir ”
which roughly translated means
“You must know how to flower where God has sown you” or “wherever God plants you, there you must learn how to bloom”.
How does one learn to flower where God has sown you, bloom wherever God plants you?
One may turn to the Enchiridion of Epictetus for guidance.
Epictetus (A.S.55 – A.D. 135), the great Stoic Philosopher, states that happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one principle: Some things are within our control, and some things are not in our control.
This is the basic Stoic truth of subjective consciousness and it is only after you have faced up to this fundamental rule and learned to distinguish between what is in your power from what is not in your power, and know what you can control and what you cannot control, that inner tranquility and outer effectiveness become possible.
On analytical reflection we find that the mind alone can be brought under our control. Everything else, the world of events and people’s behaviour, is beyond the scope of our control.
What disturbs you are not events but your attitude towards them.
Don’t demand or except that events happened as you would wish them to. Accept events as they actually happen. And you will be at peace with yourself.
Except for extreme physical abuse, other people cannot hurt you unless you allow them to. Don’t consent to be hurt and you won’t be hurt.
You must learn to approach life as a banquet and not as a buffet. Think of your life as if it were a banquet where you would behave graciously, when dishes are pass to you, extend your hand and help yourself to a moderate portion. If a dish should pass you by, enjoy what is already on your plate. Or is a dish hasn’t being passed to you yet, patiently to your turn. Carry on the same attitude of polite restrain and gratitude to your children, spouse, career and money. There is no need to yearn, envy and grab. You will get your rightful share when it is your time.
It then becomes our paramount duty to control the mind and practice total unconcern to externals. “When something happens, the only thing in your power is your attitude toward it; you can either accept it or resent it.”
To accept an event is to rise above it, to resent it to be overpowered by it. With acceptance comes happiness, with resentment comes misery.
Acceptance of an event is not to be mistaken for a life of passivity or submission to fatalism characterized by laziness and a sense of helplessness. “Simply doing nothing does not avoid risk, but heightens it.” Epictetus exhorts us, therefore, to brave the storms of life with planned action born of clear thinking. He recognizes, too, the practical necessity of working for worldly gains, but cautions us only against the false belief that happiness depends on the results such endeavours.
Being an integral part of social structure, you cannot live in isolation; social interaction is inescapable.
In your relationship with others at home, at work or in society, no matter how people behave, you have to maintain inner tranquility, with unwavering attention on achieving your own merit and excellence.
People act under their own inner compulsions over which you can exercise no control. Epictetus advises: “Focus not on what he or she does, but on keeping to your higher purpose.” He assures that if you truly live in tune with your will and resolve, and in harmony with your inner self, nobody’s words or actions (barring extreme cases) can disturb your mental equipoise.
Duty of any kind is not to be slighted. A person should not be judged by the nature of his duties, but by the manner in which he performs his duties. In his discourse on Karma Yoga Swami Vivekananda says: “A shoemaker who can turn out a strong, nice pair of shoes in the shortest possible time is a better man, according to his profession and his work, than a professor who talks nonsense every day of his life”.
Remember, Fatigue lies in half-heartedness.
If we do with sincerety, with full zest and enthusiasm, the duty which is in our hands now, we make ourselves happy. The key is to work with freedom and love and without too much expectation. Try to accomplish something wherever you are – do not compare with others. Undue hankering after rewards will render you akin to a slave of your expectations; you must work for your own internal satisfaction – work like a master and not as a slave.
This glorious attitude to life and knowledge of your self makes you free in a world of dependencies and enables you to flower where God has sown you, to bloom wherever God plants you.
" Ou Dieu vous a seme, il faut savoir fleurir "
Wherever God plants you, there you must learn how to bloom.
You must know how to flower where God has sown you.
GODSPEED...!
VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 2010
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/
http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve